Oh, this one’s weird all right.
Will Smith, Chris Rock, And The Weird Thing You Didn’t Know About Evolution
Sunday night’s on-stage assault at the Oscars—in which black actor Will Smith slapped black comedian and MC Chris Rock for making a joke about Smith’s black wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s baldness—was ridiculed on Twitter as “Oscars So Black.” This reference to the earlier “Oscars so White” meme bemoaning the supposed under-representation of black people as Oscar winners [The lack of diversity among the 2020 Oscar nominees feels disappointingly familiar, by Emily St James, Vox, January 13, 2020] was particularly cutting, because it was so obviously true. As I have charted in detail in my 2020 book Making Sense of Race, African-Americans—compared to White Americans—are, on average, and for powerful evolutionary reasons, more aggressive, more violent and more sexually promiscuous, with Smith’s wife’s extra-marital affair possibly being relevant to his reaction on some level. Specifically, black people have higher levels of testosterone than Whites, when imposing relevant controls such as age and obesity. But they have smaller testicles.
My Danish colleagues Emil Kirkegaard and Prof. Helmuth Nyborg and I have demonstrated this interesting phenomenon in a recently published study in Mankind Quarterly: “Europeans Have Larger Testes than Sub-Saharan Africans but Lower Testosterone Levels.” Our paper drew upon the Vietnam Experience Study which involved the mental and physical examination of 4,462 US soldiers. About 60% of these had served in Vietnam and the rest were controls who had served in other places such as Korea. The data were collected between 1965 and 1971 and then there was a follow-up study between 1985 and 1986. Testosterone levels were measured via blood analyses. There was a clear difference between the 3,654 Whites and the 525 blacks. Blacks had higher testosterone levels than Whites. (The study also sampled Hispanics, Native Americans and others but the numbers were too small to produce statistically significant differences).
But in addition, blacks’ testicles were significantly smaller than those of Whites. Testes were initially examined using a caliper to measure the long axis of both testes. However, after 1st January 1986, by which time approximately half of the veterans had been examined, the caliper was replaced by something called Prader’s Orchidometer in order to improve precision. This involved the medical examiner standing in front of the subject and palpating one of subject’s testicles in his hand. In his other hand, the medical examiner would hold Prader’s Orchidometer. This is a string on which are 12 testicle-shaped beads.
The following dissertation closely detailing the prescribed procedure for proper deployment of this Prader’s Orchidothingamabobber falls squarely into that last category in my post title, I think. Weirder still:
It makes sense if we understand that the pre-history of Sub-Saharan Africans is better comparable to the situation with gorillas, who have small testicles, while the pre-history of Whites is better comparable to that of chimpanzees, who have large testicles.
Hoooo BOY. NOW we’re getting somewhere. Hold onto your hats though, gang, because we’re about to leave “weird” behind altogether, stepping off smartly into “bizarre” territory.
Testicles are semen factories, so testicles would necessarily get bigger. This is the situation of chimpanzees. They live together in highly social groups, meaning that there is every opportunity for a female to have sex with multiple males. So, they have larger testicles than gorillas; with gorillas not needing larger testicles because they are unlikely to ever be cuckolded.
This applies to White-Black differences. Evolved to a relatively easy yet unstable ecology, blacks, compared to Whites, don’t need to cooperate as much. They, thus, create smaller and weaker social groups with less of an opportunity for cuckoldry. Moreover, they invest less in their offspring anyway, so it matters less if they are cuckolded.
Whites create large and highly bonded social groups, investing a great deal of energy in their offspring that they have with a smaller number of females, with whom they have less sex, so that they have energy to invest in the offspring. It thus matters a great deal if they are cuckolded and there are more opportunities for this to occur. As such, they need to produce more semen, resulting in larger testicles.
Okay, that’s it. Much as I do hate to interrupt y’all’s fun and all— hey, don’t think for a minute I can’t hear you perverts laughing yourselves sick out there, damn your eyes—I’m afraid I’m gonna have to declare TMI here and call a lid, Crazy Uncle Gropey-style, at this late stage of the game.