USS Batshit grounded on the shoals of reality

I have no words.

Biological Male “Mother” Attempts To Breastfeed Newborn Birthed By His Biological Female “Boyfriend”
“The baby has been able to latch, but I have not been able to produce any milk…”

Thanks captain obvious! Who knew that a biological male couldn’t produce breastmilk?

Determined to shove their depravity down the throat of their newborn, both literally and figuratively, the mentally ill new parents express dismay at not being able to breastfeed their baby naturally. In hindsight maybe “dad” should’ve kept his breasts when he decided to keep his uterus. Just a thought.

The new parents have refused to accept identification documents for their newborn baby because it would require the female who gave birth (wearing glasses) to be listed as the mother and not the male (black hair, pretending to breastfeed) who did not give birth.

Tearful but with a stiff upper lip, the new parent confidently exclaims, “we’re gonna supplement the feeding with formula so that my baby is still getting the nutrients that they need”. 

Perhaps daddy-mama is confused by the word supplement, which Merriam-Webster dictionary defines as ‘something that completes or makes an addition.’ Cant supplement something if you’ve nothing, to begin with. The baby won’t be supplemented by formula, it will be sustained solely by it!

Astonishingly enough, this appears NOT to be a Babylon Bee article, nor is it from the venerable, universally-revered Weekly World News. Which I think is a goddamned shame, for several reasons.

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kennycan

What FUN we’re having with the Lunatics In Charge of the Great American Asylum!!

Oh Joy I can’t wait to see the rest of the Show. Can you?

Perhaps a Gypsy Queen.
In a glaze of vaseline.

Ironbear

Guar-an-teed to blow your mind apart!

Barry

Well, damn. I made the mistake of opening that link.

We need to bring torture back.

Barry

I think that would be appropriate, Mike.

Perhaps include a barf bag as well.

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