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Practical advice

Now THIS is news you can really use.

9 Ways To Scare Off Californians Looking To Move Into Your Neighborhood
Wait a minute, is that young couple looking for a home in your neighborhood from California? You better get them out of here pronto before they turn your beautiful state into a socialist cesspool! If you don’t, you’ll both have to look for a new state to move to in about ten years after they bring their California politics with them.

These are the absolute best ways to scare off a Californian:

  1. Smile and wave at them: Californians hate this! They might even be killed in the process.
  2. Offer them sweet tea: They will instantly become diabetic just by looking at a full pitcher of Southern-style Sweet Tea. As an added bonus, the polite gesture will also scare them (see above).
  3. Show off a cool gun you’re packing: They will freak out even though this is only one of the guns you are packing. The others aren’t as cool, sadly.
  4. Ask them where they are going to church immediately after meeting them for the first time: It’s normal to do that where you’re from, but this question is basically kryptonite to a Californian.
  5. Invite them to your church this Sunday: (Same as above)
  6. Show them your house and the several acres you live on: Their brains literally can not comprehend the idea that a family of four isn’t crammed into a tiny studio apartment. It will seem icky and wrong to them for it to be any other way.
  7. Point out how many houses in town have American flags: Once they notice this little detail, they will react like vampires to the sun coming up at dawn.
  8. Start talking about what they can expect when winter rolls around: They are only used to one season that lasts all year round and you may need to explain the concept of winter several times before the horror for them really sets in.
  9. Show off your Trump 2020 and 2024 bumper stickers: This is sure to send them back to California in absolute terror.

Helpful, effective, to the point, indisputably true and reliable—is it any wonder the shitlib “mainstream” media hates the Bee so much?


4 thoughts on “Practical advice

  1. For the 10,000th time:

    They aren’t Californians unless they were born here.

    A non-zero number are actually your own toothless, banjo-playing kinfolk, returning to their motherlands. Suck it up, and welcome them back home. Bummer for you that they’ll be bringing their illegal alien maids and gardeners with them.

    The rest are simply carpet-bagging locusts, who simply befoul one nest, then move to the next happy hunting grounds. It’s only California that they crapped all over last. Visiting here for a spell before moving on no more makes them “Californians” than getting off a rubber raft makes any tens of thousands of Muslims “German” or “Swedish”.

    For the diehard delusional, I’ll pay you a dollar for every one you find who is an actual born-and-raised Californian, and you give me a nickel for every one who isn’t, and we can discuss what color Porsche you buy me when we settle up accounts.

    Your first clue that they couldn’t ever be from here is the fact that if that many Californians left, the freeways hereabouts would be deserted.

    It’s fun to point and laugh, but the sad and undeniable truth is they’re simply your own ne’er-do-wells, returning home after crapping up any other states they had a crack at.

    Welcome them like the retarded cousins they are, let them move back into that trailer up on blocks in the side yard, and we’ll stop pointing fingers back at ya once you acknowledge the obvious: your family’s chickens are merely coming home to roost.

    1. Cute, but doesn’t comport with the anecdotal evidence that I know. I have met several people born in California that left because – california.
      Are there lots of people in California that were not born there? Of course. Are they the ones leaving? Doubt it’s any greater numbers percentage wise than the natives leaving.

      If there is documentation on this I’d like to see it, either way.

      1. People never left California because of “California”.
        They leave because folks from the Other 49 and Regions Beyond have FUBARed the state they were born in.

        Now all y’all get your own back? I’ve got to say, watching it from here is glorious.

        Check out in-migration to this state from 1920-2000.
        There’s your documentation.

        Next exhibit:
        Gray Davis (only governor so bad he got recalled, in modern history).
        Nancy Pelosi.
        Barbara Boxer.
        Ahnuld Schwarzenegger, and 95% of the other misbegotten @$$holes in Hollyweird.
        Look ’em up.

        10% of the country’s population, but 80% of the homeless. Because they’re here, but they aren’t from here. And never were.
        The prosecution rests.

        We have our share of home-grown jackholes, like every state does.

        But to fuck this state up so hard in a single generation took literally millions of assholes from anywhere else, including multiple millions of illegal aliens, who only became a problem when people everywhere else noticed they’d overflowed your preferred dumping ground states along the border, and started showing up in Greater Aztlan: places like Vermont, Montana, and North Dakota. Boo frickin’ hoo.

        Enjoy your chickens coming home to roost.

        You want to stop getting those “Californians” whose imaginary number exceeds the total population of this state at its peak?
        Stop sending your toothless, banjo-playing kinfolk out here, and stop turning a blind eye to the hordes walking over the southern border.

        Texas and Florida are already purpling up nicely. Ten or twenty more years at the current trajectory, and you’ll never see anyone in office without a D after their name in any state in the country.

        As Humperdink’s father told Buttercup, “Won’t that be nice?

        1. “Check out in-migration to this state from 1920-2000.
          There’s your documentation.”

          As is your norm, you have no clue what constitutes “evidence”. Your pathological belief in pure bullshit surpasses many on the left.

          Currently, over half of California are defined as native born. For those of you from California and educated in loony-tune schools there, that means you were born in the state.

          Now we have Florida which is 1/3 native born, 2/3’s not, and growing. Contrast with California which is half native born and people are leaving. I find no statistics that say who is leaving California, but admit I’m not wasting much time looking.

          Perhaps you are right, but what you are really saying is that California attracts the fruitcakes and demented trash from other states and now that the state is truly trashed they are leaving. Proving they have enough sense to leave a place that has been turned into a shithole by the left.

          The entire western United States is populated mostly by people that came from somewhere else. California is no different than the rest of the western US, other than it has now started spitting them out rather than being a destination.

          Exactly who is leaving, natives or not, is unproven by pouring buckets of warm shit into your typing.

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