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Our Monday Substack offering is currently extant and available for the perusal of tasteful and discriminating readers everywhere: Some things really never DO change—a brief, light-hearted treatise on two Subjects Eternal among us mere mortals: sex, and titties. A, umm, taste:

Whodathunkit? Turns out, no matter how frenetically shitlibs rail against reality, two things in fundamental human nature remain constants: sex, and titties.

Well, and beer. Can’t forget that one.

…Not really touched upon (so to speak) in this article is a prank-potential I remember reading about a good while back: the remote-controller switching the vibe or dildo on full-blast in the middle of the subject’s workday, say during an important meeting or some such, setting off uncontrollable paroxysms of squirming, moaning, and general orgasmic frenzy. Then again, that could be considered a feature, not a bug.

And if THAT excerpt doesn’t pique your interest, I’m sure I don’t know what might. Nor do I particularly want to, frankly. For the normal, healthy folks among us (if any), you know what you must do, Glasshoppa.

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