The part of this one that’s most worthy of note isn’t in the news article itself, for a change.
Irish rooster with a violent past kills man with attack to the back of his leg, court says
An Irish inquest found that a man who died in April 2022, was attacked by a rooster with a history of attacking people, according to reports.
The Irish Examiner in Cork, Ireland, reported that Jasper Kraus was allegedly attacked by a Brahma chicken that was moved to his property in Ballinasloe after it attacked a child.
Garda Eoine Browne said during the judicial inquiry that he responded to reports of a sudden death on April 28, 2022, and when he arrived, he spoke to paramedics who said CPR attempts to revive the victim were unsuccessful.
Brown said the man, later identified as Kraus, was on the ground in the kitchen in a pool of blood, with a wound on the back of one of his legs.
A gruesome story, sure enough. But the real action, as is so often the case, is to be found in the comments section, kicking off thusly:
1 day ago
This whole thing could have been prevented with flour, hot grease, and a plate of biscuits.
And with that tasty quip we’re off and running, each commenter outdoing the one before with recipe suggestions, useful ideas for how excessively aggressive roosters might be made to calm the fuck down (with a hammer handle or an axe, natch), and such-like ribaldry. Be prepared to laugh until your face feels like it might crack down the middle from the strain, it’s that hilarious. Good, good stuff, no doubt about it.
I read this earlier, but didn’t read the comments. Thanks for laugh of the day!