Gaston County is in a state of insurrection, and I couldn’t be more proud of my home turf.
Fair warning: I may have edited some of this excerpt. Y’know, for clarity.
Gaston County says it will allow many businesses to reopen at 5 p.m. Wednesday, appearing to contradict Supreme Kommissar Roy Cooperovitch’s statewide stay-at-home order that expires May 8.
Effective Wednesday in Gaston County, “large venues” — places such as restaurant dining rooms, theaters, gyms and houses of worship, according to Gaston’s order — can reopen with social distancing limitations. Under Comrade Cooperovitch’s order, those businesses are not permitted to open.
Commissioners’ Chairman Tracy Philbeck, who leads an all-Republican board, said the decision was based on relatively low coronavirus numbers and the availability of hospital capacity. Reopening, he said, will help save local businesses that have been decimated by Cooper’s “one-size-fits-all” restrictions.
“If we continue the stay-at-home order, it will not have a good effect for Gaston County and we will maybe not have anything to come back to,” he told reporters Wednesday morning during a virtual press conference.
Said a mouthful there, brother. Meanwhile, in what very well could be an actual quote, Supreme Kommissar Cooperovitch spluttered in outrage at Gaston County’s defiance:
“The revanchist running dogs of capitalist imperialism will not be allowed to get away with this Crime against the State,” Cooperovitch was quoted as saying. “The People will not stand for such brazen acts of counterrevolution, and their government will see to it that they are punished severely. All inside the State, nothing outside the State, nothing against the State!!”
More like this, please, and not just hereabouts either. Calls for an anthem in celebration of the momentous occasion, I do believe. And I can’t think of any better than one of the Who’s very veryest.
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgment of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song
Update! Calling a spade a spade.
As hundreds of lockdown protesters converged Tuesday upon Raleigh, North Carolina, demanding that Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper reopen the state’s economy and lift his stay at home order, four of the protesters were arrested, the News & Observer reported.
ReOpenNC leader Ashley Smith was among the arrestees, the News & Observer reported. As she was being handcuffed, the 33-year-old yelled that officers were “dishonoring the flag” and that her “tax dollars” paid for the sidewalk she was standing upon.
Anybody still think most of our “boys in blue” won’t be more than happy to come take the guns away the moment someone like Comrade Cooper tells ’em to?
“This is how Nazi Germany started,” her husband, Adam Smith, remarked, according to the paper. Smith used a bullhorn to call each officer outside the governor’s mansion a “little piggie,” the News & Observer said, adding that other protesters handed him bail money.
Before her arrest, Ashley Smith stood in a pickup truck and delivered a speech, the paper said: “We’ll all go to church, we’ll open our businesses, and we’ll buy what we want. We will not go down gently. … If you feel the need to stay home, it is your God-given right to do so. But we want to live!”
“Every job is essential,” salon owner Danielle Wells said, according to the paper. “Every job matters.”
Some protesters carried signs with religious themes — “Trust God not Reopening” — while others appeared to point toward violence, the paper said. One sign included an image of a handgun with the slogan “The Only Shot I’ll Take” while another read, “If we hanged traitors like our forefathers did, we would all be at work today,” the News & Observer noted.
Which amounts to yet another lesson regarding the one-hundred-percent guaranteed result of NOT hanging the sons of bitches.