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Big Boeing trouble

Well, THIS certainly doesn’t stink to high Heaven or anything, now does it?

Boeing Whistleblower Found Dead of ‘Self-Inflicted’ Gunshot, 787 Suffers Another Mishap
Former Boeing Quality Manager John Barnett was found dead in a Charleston, S.C., parking lot on Saturday from a “self-inflicted gunshot wound,” according to local police — opening up yet another bizarre chapter in the troubled aircraft maker’s recent history.

Barnett had given “stark warnings” about quality control issues on two models of Boeing passenger jets, including substandard parts and using Dawn dishwashing soap as a lubricant. The 62-year-old had also claimed that Boeing executives were hiding the company’s safety issues rather than addressing them.

“My concerns are with the 737 and 787 because those programs have really embraced the theory that quality is overhead and non-value-added,” Barnett told TMZ after the infamous Jan. 5 incident when a door plug blew off an Alaska Air 737 MAX 9 that depressured the cabin and exposed passengers to open air shortly after takeoff.

Brian Knowles was Barnett’s attorney and described in an email to Corporate Crime Reporter what happened in the days leading up to Barnett’s death:

John had been back and forth for quite some time getting prepared. The defense examined him for their allowed seven hours under the rules on Thursday. I cross-examined him all day yesterday (Friday) and did not finish. We agreed to continue this morning at 10 a.m. (co-counsel) Rob (Turkewitz) kept calling this morning and his (Barnett’s) phone would go to voicemail. We then asked the hotel to check on him. They found him in his truck dead from an ‘alleged’ self-inflicted gunshot. We drove to the hotel and spoke with the police and the coroner.

If you’re thinking the whole thing stinks, we’re in agreement.

Oh, pish-tosh; don’t be ridiculous, you paranoid, cynical old grumpy Gus. I mean, just ’cause the poor guy shot himself six times in the back of the head with a bolt-action rifle, then hung himself, then ran himself over with his own car, then set himself on fire and swallowed a gallon of Drano, there you go getting all suspicious and untrusting-like.

Why, I have it on very good authority that Hillary Clinton was nowhere NEAR Charleston that night, for starters.

Update! Problem: SOLVED.

Boeing Proudly Announces It Has Fixed Malfunctioning Whistleblower
ARLINGTON, VA — In response to mounting public criticism of its quality standards, aerospace corporation Boeing proudly announced it has fixed its malfunctioning whistleblower.

The longtime industry leader in commercial aircraft manufacturing had been in hot water following a string of highly publicized malfunctions and accidents involving its planes, leaving the company desperate to find a solution to its problems.

“That should take care of everything,” a Boeing spokesman said. “After extensive investigation into the recent engineering and design quality issues, we determined that many of these problems could be traced back to this whistleblower. We are proud to announce that we have, in fact, fixed the whistleblower. Permanently.”

Following the decisive action taken to resolve its whistleblower issue, Boeing expressed confidence that it will be smooth sailing moving forward. “We don’t foresee any more problems,” the spokesman said. “Everyone here at Boeing feels much safer now.”

When asked how fixing the whistleblower would solve ongoing issues with the design and assembly of the aircraft, the spokesman offered the following response: “There aren’t any more problems. Got it? If you disagree, you can take it up with our newest board member, Hillary Clinton.”

Heh. Her Herness© DOES seem to keep popping up whenever one of these “fixes” is needed, doesn’t she? I mean, this makes twice just in this post alone. HMMMMM…

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3 thoughts on “Big Boeing trouble

  1. It is truly sad what has become of Boeing. Not many years ago it was one of the finest corporations on earth. Once you make a few mistakes the spotlight is turned on and then even the routine issues start looking bad.
    I don’t think the dude offed himself. He was murdered, by who and for precisely what reason we will never know. But I’d bet the government was involved…

    1. As so many other once-honorable and -respected American corporate entities have experienced, a toxic combination of the Wokester plague in its executive suites with an infestation of clueless mid-level MBAs with no knowledge of, pride in, or reverence for how and why the Boeing Airplane & Transport Corporation came to be what it was in its glory years has broken the company, severing all connection with Boeing’s rich tradition, history, corporate culture, and core mission.

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