The end of an era, and a network. From America’s most reliable news source:
Fox News Fires The Only Reason People Watch Fox News
NEW YORK, NY — After months of controversy, Fox News has decided to part ways with the only reason anyone watches Fox News.
“Yes, we realize he delivered the most successful cable news program of all time, but we felt embarrassed by him at our Manhatten cocktail parties,” said Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott. “When we tried to get invited to fancy, sophisticated gatherings, people said: ‘Ewwww, aren’t you the Tucker Carlson people?’ and that made us feel sad. Curse you, Tucker, for making us feel sad!”
When reached for a reaction, Tucker simply stared dumbfoundedly at our reporter for several minutes.
Industry experts believe there are other factors that contributed to the alleged firing, including the fact that the company is too broke to pay him after settling a lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems.
Progressives are reportedly overjoyed by the move, although many are saying Fox didn’t go far enough by not killing Carlson in addition to firing him. “You mean he’s still alive?” said Congresswoman AOC. “Tucker being alive is fascism!”
At publishing time, producers were seen looking through files for another hot blonde to replace him with.
The Bee, of course, establishing a new record for how close their satire can come to actual reality: Tucker is indeed gone, although no one really seems to know why, or is admitting to it at least. Glenn sums up the rampant speculation out there:
Rumors have swirled that he was looking to leave since they stopped him airing more January 6 video after just a couple of nights, but I don’t know if that’s why he’s leaving or not.
The stock’s falling, leading an acquaintance to comment “$800m settlement for the vote fraud stuff with Dominion, and FOX just zapped $1bil from its market cap in the last 10 min.”
I wonder if Tucker will go to Newsmax or somewhere, or whether he’ll start his own Rumble program.
UPDATE: Lots of speculation that it involved the Dominion settlement, too. Maybe so. And Jim Bennett writes: “I wonder if Fox was getting significant pushback from the part of its viewership that were appalled by his stand on Ukraine. Most Americans of Eastern European descent are conservative, many of those I know are strongly pro-Ukrainian. And many were Fox viewers.” I dunno. I doubt that would be enough to end such a profitable association, but it may have been a factor.
Could be, who knows. Most likely, it will all come out eventually, as tends to happens with these things. But one thing we can be sure about: whatever the reason(s) behind it may have been, Fox News will be going the way of the dodo. Or does anyone out there think the moronic Sean Hannity can carry them on his strong, broad shoulders…?
Update! Apparently, t’was Rupert Murdoch himself who slew the Fox beast.
Tucker Carlson departs Fox News, pushed out by Rupert Murdoch
“Fox News Media and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways,” the network said in a statement. “We thank him for his service to the network as a host and prior to that as a contributor.”
A Fox News representative had no other details on Carlson’s exit. People familiar with the situation who were not authorized to comment publicly said the decision to fire Carlson came straight from Fox Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch.
Carlson’s exit is related to the discrimination lawsuit filed by Abby Grossberg, the producer fired by the network last month, the people said. Carlson’s senior executive producer Justin Wells has also been terminated, according to people familiar with the matter. A Fox News representative would not comment.
Murdoch is also said to be concerned over Carlson’s coverage of the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, in which the host has promoted the conspiracy theory simple, obvious fact, confirmed in several different ways, that it was provoked by government agents.
ADMISSION: I may have adjusted that last line slightly, in the interests of truth and accuracy. Be all that as it may, Ace administers the last rites.
Goodbye, Fox. You will die alone and unloved and unremembered.
Indeed so. In a conversation with my brother just now, we were speculating on a possibility I’d consider the most awesome denouement imaginable: Elon Musk and Tucker are even now on the phone hammering out the details of their new entry into the TeeWee news game, which will be called the Foxecutioner network.
Updated update! Ace’s post also includes the verified, 100% for-real video of Tucker’s final farewell to FNC:
Video of Tucker’s exit interview just leaked too! pic.twitter.com/Dc1iEco0Hi
— Vandelay ₿TC Industries ⚡ (@VandelayBTC)
What can one say but: heh. Indeed.
Fox has lost whatever mind it once possessed.
“Whom the gods destroy, they first make mad…”
At the point where Trump announced, Fox’s true intentions became completely apparent. It’s been all downhill from there.
Tucker is but a speed bump.
It’s up to us to make Fox pay. Stop watching.