A modest proposal from Aesop.
We tried to assimilate them, but there are some things that cannot be accomplished solely with good intentions.
If populating the Joint Chiefs, Congress, SCOTUS, and the White House aren’t enough for them, admit defeat, and end the experiment forever. Cut the bullsh*t, and end White Guilt.
Ship the entire race back to Africa. Lock, stock, and barrel. Not voluntary: 100% mandatory. Eliminate the entire category in the U.S. Ban any further immigration of same, in perpetuity. (It isn’t like they could hide anywhere in plain sight, is it?)
If you’re Black, You Go Back.
And the halves, quatroons, eighths, and sixteenths left behind can worry about either flying right once and for all, or seeing the bar for permanent deportation lowered until the problem resolves.
No more prison. Just a boat ride out, for good. First class, all travel expenses paid, no returns ever, with whatever they could carry off in their baggage. Don’t harm a hair on their heads, just shuffle them up the gangplank, and shove off with the lot. Same way they got here, albeit under better accommodations for the long-overdue return journey.
Convicts and jailbirds too. Free at last! Over there. Reparations: Paid in full. Game Over, man.
Imagine waking up in a country without Whoopi Goldberg, Stacy Abrams, or Maxine Waters. Ever again.
A most edifying thought, though of course it’ll never happen.
Seeing as how Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, and Elmore James have all departed this mortal coil long since, it would have to go down in the “Win” column overall. The idea is nothing new; ironically, it was Lincoln’s original suggestion for dealing with the post-slavery surplus Neegrow problem, going all the way back to the 1850s.
I can’t say I’d miss the three oxygen-thieving parasites Aesop mentions, not for even one moment. Ditto for the NFL, the NBA, and MLB as well. It’s even possible that we might get Chicongo and Detroit back as beautiful, livable cities again, and the potential improvement in Atlanta is well beyond the ability of humans to calculate—even Einstein couldn’t manage such a feat.
Admittedly, losing Chris Rock and Dave Chappell would be a bit of a wrench, at least for me. Then again, we could probably still access their shows via internet live-stream, so there’s that.