Manatees need abortions too!

It’s always amused me no end how the most overwrought fanatics screaming themselves purple in support of “a woman’s right to choose” to murder her unborn (well, usually) child always seem to look like what you’d end up with if you shaved a morbidly obese goat’s ass and taught it to walk backwards. Same with the lumbering Wide Loads who are forever threatening to “go on strike” sexually until they get whatever the hell it is they’re demanding—OR ELSE!!!—this week.

I’m pleased to report that I am by no means the only one to notice that those most pissed off about the Roe misfeasance being corrected are the same blubberskites who couldn’t get laid in a Tijuana whorehouse on a Saturday night if they were handing out free candy, cervezas, and hundred-dollar bills as incentives, and therefore have absolutely NO chance of getting preggers by any method that doesn’t involve test tubes, lab techs, and an anonymous sperm donor wanking into a little cup.

PENSACOLA, Fla. — Northwest Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz on Monday stood by controversial comments he made this past weekend regarding female abortion rights protesters.

On Saturday, Gaetz spoke to college students at the Turning Point USA Student Action Summit in Tampa, saying women protesting abortion access are less likely to get pregnant because they aren’t attractive.

“Why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions?” Gaetz said. “Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb.”

“These people are odious on the inside and out,” Gaetz said Saturday at the summit. “They’re like 5’2, 350 pounds and they’re like, ‘Give me my abortions or I’ll get up and march and protest.’ And I’m thinking, ‘March? You look like you got ankles weaker than the legal reasoning behind Roe vs Wade.’ A few of them need to get up and march. They need to get up and march for like an hour a day, swing those arms, get the blood pumping, maybe mix in a salad.”

A local teewee news crew tried to trip Gaetz up over his refreshingly candid way of putting into words something plenty of us were thinking already, to no avail whatsoever.

He gave this explanation when asked about Saturday’s comments:

I’m very pro-life and I make no apology for it. I’m grateful that Roe has been overturned and that Dobbs is now the jurisprudence on abortion. I find these people that go out in these pro-abortion, pro-murder rallies odious — and just, like, ugly on the inside and out. I make no apology for it. I don’t believe that every person who disagrees with my perspective on life is an ugly person. But the ones that are out there protesting and marching on Justice [Brett] Kavanaugh’s home, trying to threaten the court, trying to impose a ‘night of rage’ on our nation’s Capitol — which us what they advertised — that’s just pure ugliness. I see that ugliness on the inside, I see it on the outside. Even in the horrible circumstance where an abortion may happen, it is nothing to celebrate and it is nothing to cheer.

Channel 3 then asked Gaetz two follow-up questions:

  • Channel 3: Is it safe to say that, based off your comments, you’re suggesting that these women at these abortion rallies are ugly and overweight?
  • Gaetz: “Yes”
  • Channel 3: What do you say to people who think those comments are offensive?
  • Gaetz: “Be offended.”

DeSantis, his spokesbadass Christina Pushaw, and now this? I’m beginning to think it’s something in the water down there, maybe. Oh, and speaking of Ms Pushaw.

Florida Republicans fired a shot across the bow at corporate media Saturday by limiting access to an event and when the so-called journalists who were barred entry demonstrated what it means to be a snowflake, Gov. Ron DeSantis’ (R-FL) spokeswoman Christina Pushaw channeled her best Jen Psaki in response.

The Sunshine Summit took place Saturday at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Fla., where, in addition to hearing from conservative voices like James Golden, Josh Hammer and Clay Travis, attendees observed congressional debates moderated by Mark Levin. In a surprise move, DeSantis joined Levin in moderating, but the biggest surprise was handed to reporters when they discovered America’s governor had made the event invite only.

“It has come to my attention that some liberal media activists are mad because they aren’t allowed into #SunshineSummit this weekend,” Pushaw wrote. “My message to them is to try crying about it. Then go to kickboxing and have a margarita. And write the same hit piece you were gonna write anyway.”

The jab was a callback to a remark from then-White House press secretary Jen Psaki who had offered up her advice to Democrats unhappy that their agenda wasn’t advancing through Congress while appearing on “The View.” “My advice to everyone out there who is frustrated, sad, angry, p*ssed off, feel those emotions, go to a kickboxing class, have a margarita, do whatever you need to do this weekend, and then wake up on Monday morning, we’ve got to keep fighting.”

DeSantis had previously mocked the White House over this with a message of his own saying, “Having a margarita is well and good, but it is not a cure for Bidenflation.”

As you’d expect, State Media “journalists” immediately started rolling around on the floor kicking and screaming, waving their chubby little fists around, and threatening to hold their breath until they turned blue over having their unalienable “right” to excrete another pantload of propaganda shorted out by the wily and ever-astute DeSantis, who as always wasn’t having any of their usual shite. Comely Christina (and she is, actually, which only makes matters worse for the H8rz™), for her part, just kept on dumping more buckets of Florida sea-salt into the indignant shitlib scribblers’ wounds.

In fact, Pushaw delighted in the tantrums as she took to Twitter again later on Saturday to point out how one “journalist” had “created a nine-tweet thread to explain how mad he is.”

“They’re still going…Liberal media in Florida doomed itself to irrelevance because these ‘journalists’ make every story about themselves & their delusions of persecution,” she wrote. “People don’t want to read your hand-wringing. It’s not news. Nor is the 500th hit piece on Gov. DeSantis.”

Nope, t’ain’t. I still do hope and pray he doesn’t do it, but if Ron the Great does run for Prexy in ’24, he oughta name Pushaw as his Veep. Hell, I’d almost consider turning out to vote for THAT ticket myself, which is really saying something.

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Aesop

Even money DeSantis is the Trump veep for 2024.

Followed by 12 years of Republican presidents.

Whether that’s enough to halt the descent into madness, or rather triggers the kinetic phase, is exactly the open question.

Barry

It would be a nice ticket. However, it will require one of the two to move out of state first.

Jaybo

That would be great 8 to 5 it don’t happen.

kennycan

Two candidates on a ticket can’t reside in the same State. Who is going to move?

Can someone explain why that same State amendment was made?

BobHunt

It was probably part and parcel of the same amendment that eliminated the (nutzo) idea that the loser would be the loyal VP.

Barry

Yes, it was. It was further felt that of a state elector slate could vote for P & VP form their state, that is who would get nominated.

Barry

Who is going to move?

Neither. The ticket never happens.
DeSantis as sitting Gov and up for re-election cannot move, and I doubt Trump would, even though he can rather easily.

As for the two candidates from the same state, I have stated that wrong. I should have said that due to the possibility of a close election, both the presidential and vice presidential candidate should be from different states. It is the electors (per the 12th) that cannot vote for two candidates from their respective home state. Alabama electors could vote for Trump and DeSantis, but Florida electors may not. If the election is close then somebody needs to move, the classic example being Cheney going back to Wyoming from Texas in the 2000 election.

Barry

I’m beginning to think it’s something in the water down there, maybe.

No “maybe” at all. The something has a name, Donald Trump.

kennycan

Shouldn’t that be Xanatees?

Barry

🙂

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