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Wait, WHAT?!?

Posted on October 29, 2025October 29, 2025 by Mike Leave a comment

tThe greatest headline since “Headless body in topless bar” turns out to be the real deal.

Herpes-COVID Monkeys on the Loose After Big Rig Crashes: Report
Sometimes you read a headline and you think it can’t be true. But we can confirm that a big rig carrying monkeys who are believed to carry herpes and COVID crashed, and the animals escaped, leading to a massive search underway in Mississippi.

In a post from the Jasper County Sheriff’s Department, it confirmed that on Wednesday, a wreck occurred on 159 near mile marker 117 involving a “truck carrying Rehsus monkeys from Tulane University.”

“The monkeys are approximately 40lbs, they are aggressive to humans, and they require PPE to handle,” the post read. “The monkeys carry hepatitis C, herpes, and COVID. Tulane University has been notified and will send a team to pick up the monkeys tomorrow (the ones that are still caged).”

When one reader questioned whether the sheriff’s post was a joke or real, they responded, “Unfortunately not” a joke.

Which was all I needed to know to run with this story, natch.

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