Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Okay, it’s getting truly pitiful now

Can’t they just let the man eat his waffle?

Joe Biden was on the campaign trail in New Hampshire Friday, which means that the potential for a new gaffe to add to his growing repertoire was high.

While speaking at a health care town hall at Dartmouth College in Hanover, the Democratic front-runner did not disappoint.

Biden, who is considered the Democrats’ most electable candidate, hit his first snag while trying to describe his healthcare plan: “For folks in the working class that are below 400,  they will, in fact, increase their premiums,” he stammered, adding quickly,  “excuse me, will increase the generosity of the premium tax cut that they now get.”

Biden struggled on, telling the crowd that there would be non-quality options with his healthcare plan. “The public option will be available with my plan. We’ll make sure it’s not quality, we’ll make sure it’s only affordable,” he told the audience, adding quickly, “quality that’s affordable.”

Biden capped off the day by giving a lakeside speech in the small town of Croydon, N.H., to an underwhelming audience of two to three dozen people.

Is there more, you ask? Hey, it’s human gaffe machine Slow Joe Biden; of course there is.

At the same event, the 76-year-old former vice president inaccurately claimed that Robert F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. were assassinated in the 1970s.

“Just like in my generation, when I got out of school, when Bobby Kennedy and Dr. King had been assassinated in the ’70s — the late ’70s — I got engaged,” Biden told the audience, before proceeding to ramble about the counter-culture movement of the 1960s.”

The claim was quickly called out as false, as both men were assassinated within mere months of each other in 1968 — a turbulent year in American history. The confusion was especially troubling for Biden, who has often cited both men as big influences on his decision to enter politics. Biden was supposedly so taken with Kennedy, whom he once called “the one true hero of my life,” that he plagiarized substantially from his fallen hero during the 1980s.

It’s an ugly testament to the egotism, self-importance, and megalomania that drives America’s professional-politician class that they’re willing to humiliate themselves so thoroughly in their desperate quest for power. Joe is a spavined old nag who ought to have been shunted off to the glue factory long ago. He’s a man bereft of integrity trading on his trustworthiness; a blithering incompetent who wishes us to believe him capable of running a nation; a gormless buffoon prone to molesting women who hopes to convince us of his empathy, sensitivity, and reliable good judgment.

He is, in short, the living archetype of an American professional politician: an empty suit, an oxygen thief, a complete zero. The hapless, mentally-deficient Biden has nothing unique or worthwhile to offer anyone at this point. And now, he’s rapidly becoming an object not of respect and admiration, but of pity. He’s already run and been resoundingly rejected twice; it couldn’t be more clear that, like HILLARY!™, Gropey Joe Biden will never be President. Surely there must be someone in his family who cares enough about him to put an end to this farce, before he transmogrifies before our very eyes into the punchline of a grotesque and unfunny joke.

Oops. Too late.

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3 thoughts on “Okay, it’s getting truly pitiful now

  1. At the same event, the 76-year-old former vice president inaccurately claimed that Robert F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. were assassinated in the 1970s.

    Aw, man… leave poor Gropey Joe alone. He’s actually old enough to remember when Abraham Lincoln signed the Treaty of Ghent at Wrigley Field after personally defeating the Whigs at the Battle of Hattin.

  2. https://www.maddogslair.com/blog/biden-versus-biden-death-match

    Best comment ever!

    ​”Ironbear says:
    8/26/2019 at 1:20 PM
    At the same event, the 76-year-old former vice president inaccurately claimed that Robert F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. were assassinated in the 1970s.

    Aw, man… leave poor Gropey Joe alone. He’s actually old enough to remember when Abraham Lincoln signed the Treaty of Ghent at Wrigley Field after personally defeating the Whigs at the Battle of Hattin.”

    At first, I thought Ironbear was probably a Millennial educated in our public K-12 schools and public Universities; then I realized those Millennials would never have heard the words, Abraham Lincoln, Treaty of Ghent, Wrigley Field, Whigs, or Battle of Hattin so it must be something else!

    ​Give Biden a week and he will make Ironbear look the prescient genius!

    1. He forgot the name of the man he served as vice pres under at some whistle stop he was speaking at. 🙂

      I’d say he’s well on his way already.

      Gropey Joe 2020. Because REAL senility has never been tried before!

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