Thank God…
Another Update (5 Jan)
Greetings Evvabody!
Again, it’s been a loooong couple of weeks for our Fearless Leader. He was doing good, then not so much, then good, then back to not so much… well, it would appear, leastways on it’s face that he’s finally getting around to where he’s being transferred tomorrow to start his full on PT and Rehab. The whole Omnicrom or whatevz caused a brief delay, as well as some more cuttin’ on Mike… sounds like he’s “Frankenmike” these days, stitched up like a rag doll… BUT
He called me tonight and we got to talk for a few before Nurse Ratched showed up to enforce the ‘no laughter’ rules.
He is, in his own words “…ready to put this shit behind me and relearn how to do -stuff- again!” I won’t go into details, but without going all graphic, I think his idea of heaven right now would be to use an actual toilet bowl as opposed to the bedpan brigade that he’s been stuck with. The whole ‘learning to walk ‘ thing is scheduled a bit down the road, but for now, and pardon the pun, one step at a time.
Now, other things is Wifey is going up thataways in the next week or two. She’s got to go visit a very old and dear friend who’s in similar circumstance… this ole girl though broke her leg and has nobody (fambly speaking) in the immeadiate A.O. to assist, so’s Wifey is dispatching up there to help out for a week or so. She’ll be passing by Mikey’s Torture Palace, and as I told him point blank:
“You’ve been on vay-kay long enuff. I’m sending you Wifey with a laptop for you to start getting back on here… the Cold Fury regulars are sick of me, and it’s getting ugly(er).”… and considering this crowd, that’s pretty damned ugly. He’s looking forward to it, and his mood is much better. For a while he was really down, but it looks like the light at the end of THIS particular tunnel ain’t a train.
Lastly, I thought I mentioned it but Mike opened for, played with, and knows Brian Setzer of “Stray Cats” fame, and he’s got a new album and tour going on, so I reached out… not for a donation per say, but to see if he could at least use some of that serious star power to help out Mike a bit. We shall see.
So it’s -finally- looking up. More as we go I’m the Intrepid Reporter
BCE
3
6The Daily Donnybrook
Welcome to Ye Olde Colde Furye Blogge’s shiny new open-comments thread, where y’all can have at it as you wish, on any topic you like. Do note that the official CF comments policy remains in effect here, as enumerated in the left sidebar. All new posts will appear below this one. There will be blood…
(Link to previous Donnybrook post.)
4Reached Out
Way Behind the Power Curve
Greetings Evvabody!
The horror-days took up an inordinate amount of bullshytte as one can well imagine. Much to my professional chagrin, I’ve been behind on updating everyone on ye olde Fearless Leader of the Peg-Legged variety. According to sources, the infection in his spine didn’t get the full rinse and clean, and they had to cut on Mike again… I’ve been out of the loop, most embarrassed, but I still have to make the donuts Aye? He’s alive, and ready for rehab but still…
Still makes me feel like a shit tho…
The good news is that we’ve raised over $36K for Mike
The bad news is it’s only $36K.
Anyone got some Hollyweird contacts out there? FFS we should be able to hit up Brian Setzer… anyone who gets a line on that motherfucker and gets this ball of slow moving wax moving again, I’ll set up with an Autographed set of Charlie Mike Comix starring moi… and yeah, ego trip… y’all haters can suck it.
Yeah, NOT a shameless plug tho, it’s out of print. Not that it’s a OMFG thing, just nice to have some of my antics illustrated and published… I have two editions, #1 and that one #4 that I’m a featured story in. And yeah, that pic above is Marc’s rendition of me LOL… The main ramrod in it is Marc Baker who’s famous Army Wide for his “Private Murphy Comic” which was featured for years in Stars and Stripes. been friends with him for a minute, and he came up with a cathartic way for us Iraq Vets to tell our stories via a comic book… very cool…
So, whoever can get the moneyball rolling again, I’d surely appreciate it. Win 2x signed comix… I raised a hair over $1k with my raffle $$$. And that’s now complete (drawn today). Maybe another raffle in the future, ‘cept for some serious prizes, like a handgun or shotgun? Have to see… all comments and suggestions are welcome and yes, it’ll go to Mike, despite Mister “Royally Stupid” Commenter before…
I’ll let you know when I hear from either Mike or Jeff… it’s been slow though as I figure evvabody be in the post horror-daze mode…
More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country
5Guest Content: Sturgeon Was an Optimist
Over the past couple weeks my daughter, TheChildF, has been doing some research and writing a report on it. (Why? Because I’m a monster and am not giving her a break during her school Christmas break. Monster, I tell you.) In the interest of providing some content for the temporarily languishing blog, here it is. (Why? Because I’m a monster.)
Wattpad Fanfic Report
Abstract
Sturgeon’s law states that “90% of everything is crap”, and I wanted to see if that applied to Wattpad fanfiction too. Seeing as Wattpad has a reputation for badly written stories, I wasn’t expecting much. By skimming the first chapter or so of the top 5 stories in the hot category in 10 fandoms, I have concluded that out of the 50 stories I had read, 2 were good enough that I would keep reading them. 13 of the 50 were passable by Wattpad standards, a deliberately lowered bar.
Intro
I came in with the hypothesis that more than 90% of Wattpad works were awful. This is based on Sturgeon’s law, which states that “90% of everything is crap”.
Method
Materials:
- computer
- wattpad
- a healthy dose of spare sanity
- the strength to go on
First, I chose 10 fandoms to read 5 fanfics each on. Instead of randomly choosing them, I got popular and well-known fandoms, as well as some smaller ones I had heard about in passing. I picked out the top 5 stories from the hot listing, but it would have produced a better result if I had sorted by new instead because the worst stories are usually excluded from the hot list.
I read at least 500 words of each story, though inevitably some had multiple chapters of character introductions and song recommendations. Additionally, if I was unable to tell if a story was passable or not, I would read a few chapters past the first one.
I automatically rejected a story if it met the following criteria:
- excessive capitalization, spelling, and punctuation errors
- improper writing mechanics
- excessive, pointless swearing
Results
| Fandom | Passable by Wattpad Standards | Good Enough that I’d Keep Reading |
| 1 Direction | 1/5 | 0/5 |
| K-Pop | 2/5 | 0/5 |
| Minecraft-Youtube | 1/5 | 0/5 |
| My Hero Academia | 2/5 | 0/5 |
| Harry Potter | 1/5 | 0/5 |
| Naruto | 1/5 | 0/5 |
| Lord of the Rings | 2/5 | 1/5 |
| Game of Thrones | 3/5 | 1/5 |
| Twilight | 0/5 | 0/5 |
| Warrior Cats | 0/5 | 0/5 |
Discussion
By the time I realized I sorted by hot instead of new, I had already worked through most of the stories, so I kept the same sorting and didn’t worry about it. It would probably be better to sort by new next time (if there is a next time). I also noticed that, as I read more fanfiction, my standards for Wattpad stories changed for the worse. I decided to read all of the stories first, then decide if they were passable.
Conclusion
Sturgeon was an optimist. Two out of the fifty stories I read were something I’d continue reading, which isn’t a good look for general Wattpad quality. The other 11 passable stories were not good enough to keep reading and were “good” only compared to the really bad stories on Wattpad.
5A Bit of Good News
She got her booster shot and was dead in a couple weeks.
What makes her a miserable, hateful cow? What makes her death anything but a terrible, avoidable tragedy? She railed a lot against the unvaccinated and called us selfish, told us to stay home until we come to our senses, and blamed us for endangering everyone else. When she started having heart difficulties, the hospital was overcrowded and of course that was all the fault of the unvaccinated.
Bottom line, she was stupid and full of hate. Good riddance.
Note that the article is from back in September. I just came across it today. This was before the scope of the governments’ lies was revealed to all who cared to look so I suppose one could cut her some slack for not understanding that any recent hospital crowding was not due to the unvaccinated. But no, I’m not feeling charitable this evening.
27
1Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to all you Furians, Furries, Droogs and Droogettes, and uncategorized Riffraff.
Make sure to keep Mike in your thoughts. Pray for his recovery if you’re religious.
And a hearty “Eat a pile of toadstools” to any anti-American who objects to seeing or hearing the words “Merry Christmas”.
81Update to the Update
Hey y’all!
Mike’s Brother Jeff called, and gave me the latest. Seems our Dear Leader is doing very well. He’s in surgery today, as they’re sewing up all the pieces parts that they didn’t before. For those of you who don’t know, when they get all hacky-hacky-wackity with the axes and scalpels, they have to plug in a drain to get all the nasty out, especially in light of how much infection he had riding shotgun on him.
Also, his carcass responded to the meds exceptionally well, and the infection they were worried about in his back is going away nicely. He’s being moved OUT of the ICU here too to Room 6219 in the next 24-48 when he recovers from this round of stich-bitch sewing.
All and all, most excellent news.
Jeff also pulled rank on him so to speak, and actually got him to choke down Ye Olde ‘Ospital Gruel that most of us who’ve been in a ‘ospital know of… I’d rather be on the Omelet and Ham MRE than hospital grub. BUT it’s utterly necessary to get him back up to speed and strength. Jeff -also- got him some resistance bands for him to start working out and he did, so fear not gang, Mike’s now on the mend. Jeff said it’s be about another 7-10 days, and they’ll be transferring him to a rehab facility where the real fun begins…
So, as I gets intel, I’ll keep throwing it up here. Also, I’m using some of the donated cash to send Mike -something- as Jeff said no flowers nor Big Tiddied Whammenz has shown up. If I thought I could get away with it, I’d have a Doordash deliver a Double Bacon Greaseburger and a cold beer, but the docs might have issues with that… I’ll let y’all know when that goes, and get Jeff to take a picture or something if Mike’ll allow it.
More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country
Mini-Update:
And I did this as well, we’ll see what happens?
Clarification:
Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
So a bit of a clarification is in order:
Some dood over at Gab burned me a new asshole over the poasting of my Raffle at my house.
Thing of it is, since the whole “Mike Thing” started, I A) Had a complete drop off the cliff on the Raffle, and B) I’ve wrapped up every. single. donation. that I’ve gotten for the Raffle since the “Mike Thing” started, and put it in Mike’s Kitty so to speak.. right now, about $500 from me in dribs and drabs.
The reason I poasted about it is also, the fundraiser has staggered and like had ZERO Movement.
I figured the incentivization of “Donate/Raffle” gets you cool shit. If anyone misunderstood, them me most ‘umble apologies.
And for that guy? Thanks for making me aware of that I didn’t communicate clearly enuff… but by the same token, stay in yer own fucking lane if’n you ain’t stepping up to the plate Aye?
Now, as far as Mike’s condition?
Mean as a snake still. He’s supposed to call me tonight. This time I’ma gonna be ‘good cop’ as what he’s been through is some seriously traumatic shytte and I’ve sorta-kinda dealt with stuff like this over the years. His biggest question is “Why me?” which is a natural reaction.
Now, ‘other biddness’
Chris Muir drew this up for other/all the webpages to Poast on their Bleggs as a free download to use in conjunction with any fundraising:
TBH, the face on that there hottie has a MOR than passing resemblance to Wifey, but I ain’t sayin shytte as her ego is already at “Hindenburg” levels.
So, that’s whats going on. Any Ideas for Blowing Up this campaign? I’m by no means a marketing specialist, and my mags have run dry. Any suggestions in the comments would be welcome!
More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country
5The Daily Donnybrook
Welcome to Ye Olde Colde Furye Blogge’s shiny new open-comments thread, where y’all can have at it as you wish, on any topic you like. Do note that the official CF comments policy remains in effect here, as enumerated in the left sidebar. All new posts will appear below this one. There will be blood…
Good News
Ok Gang, Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Mike a.k.a. “Stumpy” or “Peg-Leg” as he shall be known as is doing very well currently. He’s still got -some- infection but the croakers (doctors) are no longer worried. Only thing they had to do was on his right foot it seems that his Big Toe didn’t get the message and got eighty-sixed with the rest of the bad bunch.
His mood has not improved but they have brought his clothes, and his cell phone so he can get calls, for those of you close enough to be in the ‘inner cool-kid circle’
I’m broke but if’n someone, in lieu of a donation can send a titty-strip-o-gram it’d probably make things better.
Get the chickie to make Mike to literally eat his veggies and be a Good Boy
He’s been protesting the grub in the hospital ‘cos it ain’t Greaseburgers and Fries, with an extra side of cholesterol. I told him that right there is why we’re where we be at Aye? She’s also have to tell him to be nicer towards the staff, as they’re doing their level best to wrangle an angry redneck shy a leg and a toe. Then and only then should he get the titties.
I told him he should be grateful as fuck instead of ornery as Wifey’s friend? He had a similar experience, but unfortunately for him (God rest him, he was a nce guy) the Gangrene went allllll the way up and done ate his junk… like complete package elimination
>shudder<
So yeah, he needs to stop giving shit to everyone. Especially the nurses and Physical Tortur… errr Therapists.
Now, other things Big Country done fucked up:
Namely Mike’s PayPal, which I swear to God as my witness, I had no idea existed on this here place. The link is listed as “Shameless Begging” and is on the right hand side. It’s mike@coldfury.com for y’all too fucking lazy… Y’all who want to donate that way, go for it. As far as I know, the shit is good… if not, please let me know, ‘cos a lot of this ‘stuff’ I’m finding out via bits and pieces here n’there… Swear to Gawd if Mike survives, I’m ’bout to purely kill his ass done dead Aye.
So, good news all around, and if’n you get the urge to come over to MY place and throw $$$ for the raffle, I’ma ’bout to -sweeten the deal- with an additional 27 rounds of M855A1 62grain with an additional 3 rounds of XM856 64 grain tracer… and two brand new PMAGs in the wrapper to load ’em into. $10 a chance, with the Two Damascus handmade boot Knives and two autographed Charlie Mike Comix. Total now is 6 rounds of Tracer, and 54 rounds of Green tip ball, plus two mags and the ka-niffs and comix…
Oy Vey! Whadda deal I’m offering!
I’m announcing that at MY house tomorrow, so y’all Furians get a jump on the rest of MY criminal scum.
MY PayPal is theintrepidreporter2019@gmail.com LOL.
$10 an entry, to be drawn on New Year Eve by Wifey or some other suitable piece of fluff from her friends in bikinis.
So, More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country
2A Modest Proposal
Anyone can see that the food supply in the US has been disrupted. Grocery stores have removed some items which were popular two years ago. Cans and boxes aren’t shelved more than two deep and even so the shelves have gaps. Prices are way up, which both suggests shortages and reduces consumption.
We have warnings of more severe shortages to come: Fertilizer shortages. Labor shortages in the food processing plants resulting in reduced throughput. Labor shortages preventing the harvesting of crops. Increased disruption in international trade. Transportation problems because of lack of truck drivers or cargo containers or disposable plastic boxes.
Stocking up while you can is one way to not go hungry but it’s not a long-term solution. If you eat more than you can obtain, you’ll eventually chew through your entire deep pantry.
Removing the supply, processing, and transportation bottlenecks would fix the problem of shortages. If you can do that, do it. I suspect the problem is bigger than you can solve, and unless you are able to get more food on the shelves, your effort is better put on something that you can fix.
Everyone has to eat.
There’s only so much food to go around, and in fact a decreasing supply. There are so many people eating it, and in fact an increasing number.
Everyone living has to eat.
Anyone can see that some people don’t produce. They don’t now, they never have, they likely never will. They consume: housing, consumer electronics, gasoline. Food. They don’t produce and they often destroy. There’s the never-employed mother with five children by seven fathers. The corner drug dealer. Muggers and burglars.
Even the institutionalized insane and the severely retarded can be categorized with them. It may not be their fault but they consume and do not produce.
Everyone living has to eat.
If 9.1% of the nation’s population is useless eaters, then getting rid of them will let everyone else eat 10% more.
If you’re hungry now or think that one day you will be, go out and kill a useless eater. More than one.
Do it for the satisfaction. Do it for the satiation. Do it for America.
931Cards, Flowers and Big Tiddy Strip-O-Grams
Got the addy of where they go Mike stashed. I actually talked to him today and boy-howdy, he’s in an especially ornery mood, as well he should be. He’s also high as all get the hell out on the good stuff. Bad news is the infection is now on his spine… they’re working it, and it’s ‘minor’ for the sake of minor, but he’s still kicking, and as I told him only the good die young…
So He’s at
CaroMont Regional Medical Center 2525 Court Dr, Gastonia, NC 28054
I know I’ve annoyed y’all enough but any love you can show him is much appreciated, as he said “I’m trapped here naked, eatin’ shitty food, and for some reason one of my legs is missing!!!”
The ‘good stuff’ indeed.
So yeah, no calls to him however. He’s got to rest and get better, so don’t be blowing up the fon there Aye?
Much Love to Everyone and Prayers for my Brother From Another Mother
I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country
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