The Unbearable Eliot Ness-ness of Inspector Walpin: The Only Thing Transparent are the Lies
“WH documents were sent in error. Can you please destroy them? And can you confirm you receive this e-mail?”–AmeriCorps spokeswoman Ranit Schmelzer
“Confirmed, documents were shredded.”–Acting IG Kenneth Bach, via CNS
In a funny segment, Glenn Beck gave Inspector General Gerald “Gramps” Walpin a competency test on the air after the Chicago-way crooks accused him of being senile and fired him. Of course, “Gramps” passed with flying colors.
Inspector Walpin is just the kind of fair-minded straight-shooter you would want in such a position–unless, of course, you were crooked. Walpin’s crime was that he simply found out Obama friend Mayor Kevin Johnson was paying off his girlfriends with public money.
Who allegedly arranged for the transfer of hush money? In one of the stranger twists in an already strange story, Johnson’s fiancee Michelle Rhee — better known now as the head of the Washington DC school district:
“At the time, Rhee was on the board of St. Hope. A former St. Hope employee who reported one of the allegations of inappropriate sexual conduct by Johnson told Walpin’s investigators that Rhee “learned of the allegations and played the role of a fixer, doing ‘damage control,’” the congressional report says.”
There’s your trouble: a man shouldn’t have a fiancee…and a financee!
It’s human to want to help a friend. It’s something else to subvert an investigation into sex payoffs with stolen money.
And it’s not just this inspector general. There has been a sustained assault on the very concept of IGs by this gang. Robert Stacy McCain has been on the case.
With apologies to David Mamet:
“l’ll be the judge of what l must do, Mr. Ness.”
“Would you excuse us?” [Whispers]
“Bailiff…”
“Yes, sir?”
“l want you to go next door to Judge Hoffman’s Court, where they’ve just begun hearing a divorce action. l want you to bring that jury in here and take this jury to his court. Are those instructions clear?”
“Yes, sir, they’re clear.”
“What’s he talking about?”
“Bailiff, l want you to switch the inspector generals”.
“Your Honor, l object!”
“Overruled!”
“What did you tell him?”
“l told him his name was in the ledger, too.”
“His name wasn’t in the ledger!”
“Wait a second! ls this the law? What’s goin’ on here? What do l look like to you? Do somethin’!”
“Your Honor, we’d like to withdraw our plea of Not Guilty, and enter a plea of Guilty.”
“Guilty?”
“Order in the court! Bailiff, clear the courtroom!”
“Eliot!”
“Your Honor…is that justice?”
“Please, why did he switch the inspector generals?”?
“What?”
“You heard me, Capone. lt’s over.”
“You’re nothin’ but a lot of talk and an IG’s badge.”
Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown. Chicago-style.
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