Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Last laugh

Why are newspapers dying? Because they damned well deserve to:

Good morning, California voters. Do you feel better, now that you’ve gotten that out of your system?

You wanted to show the state’s politicians just how mad you are at them. And you did. Boy, did you ever.

Proposition 1A with its taxes and its spending limit? Too much of one and not enough of the other, you said (or was it the other way around), and voted it down. Never mind that the taxes go into efffect anyway. You showed ’em.

So, now that you’ve put those irksome politicians in their place, maybe it’s time to think about this: Since you’re in charge, exactly what do you intend to do about that pesky $25 billion hole in the budget?

Snide, sanctimonious, arrogant, elitist — all the things we’ve come to love from our journalistic betters. Ah, but (incredibly) it gets better: those acclaimed layers of editors quickly sprang into action, not just by tossing the offensive article down one of their famous memory holes — employed whenever the self-righteous cocksuckers get caught with their feet in their fat yaps — they replaced the whole thing, with an entirely different, more moderate-sounding editorial:

Good morning, members of the California Legislature. Good morning, Governor.

Feeling bruised and abused this morning? Well, you can’t say you didn’t see it coming. The polls have been saying for weeks that voters were going to do just what they did on Tuesday: Conclusively reject your slate on the ballot, Propositions 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D and 1E.

Today, on the morning after voters kicked around your best effort at fixing the state budget as if it were a deflated soccer ball, you face a decision.

You can blame the voters for reacting with uninformed and misplaced anger.

Or you can look in the mirror and admit you had it coming. And you know you did.

And in the comments, their pathetic excuse:

A note to our readers:

Many of these comments refer to an article that was posted in error. That article was a draft prepared for internal discussion among members of The Bee’s editorial board. Such discussions are a routine part of our work, and frequently lead to editorials that are considerably different from writers’ first drafts. That’s what happened in this case.

After discussion, we decided that our initial editorial about the special election should take a different tack. The result was the editorial that now appears on

Uh huh, I just bet you did. Even you aren’t stupid enough not to know you can’t exactly get away with insulting the paying customers in so direct a fashion for long.

Well, sorry; too late. You let the mask slip, displaying your haughty contempt for voters who have the OUTRAGEOUS! temerity to reject any goddamned crackpot liberal notion the big-spending, heavy-taxing politicians can come up with. Then, after getting lambasted in your own comments section by the very hoi polloi you just spat on, you took the original (and more accurately representative of your actual attitudes) piece down and replaced it with something not so clearly intended to insult and demean the people you hope will buy your floundering, half-assed liberal birdcage liner — like the sniveling, despicable cowards you are.

And you wonder why so many of us aren’t just unsympathetic, but are actually pointing and laughing at seeing you go down in flames?

May the lot of you rot in Hell.


22 thoughts on “Last laugh

  1. I beg your pardon, but merely rotting in Hell is way too good for these bastards. Surely there is something worse that could happen to them.

  2. That is funny! You make me wish I lived in California just so I could be personally offended by the paper people you hold up to public inspection.

    Lucky for me, as it turns out, there are plenty right here in the old hometown.

    And even though I’m not usually in favor of socialism, “weapons free” appeals to me very much.

  3. Thank the heavens for the Internet, paid for by the U.S. taxpayer. We’ve disintermediated thousands of snide journalists who want to control what we see and therefore what we think.
    As the famous American philosopher Nelson Mundt is wont to say: HA-ha!

  4. From the Bee‘s second revised editorial:

    You asked for this job. Now you’ve got it, so get on it.

    From a poster at Free Republic:

    To: windcliff
    You asked for this job. Now you’ve got it, so get on it.

    Awesome! Just give me the budget & a red pen & I’ll take care of it in about an hour!

    Amazing how powerful those Bee brains are.

  5. Hmm. From the tone and style of that childish and unprofessional tantrum I would bet a subscription to the Sacramento Bee that the author is:
    1)a graduate of an accredited Journalism School;
    2) under 30 (if a male)
    2a) under 40 (if a female, which seems more likely from the snarky tone);
    3) a sufferer of Bush Derangement Syndrome; and
    4) an Obamaniac

    Or is this a “Well, DUH!” situation?

  6. I haven’t lived a good life and suspect I may go to Hell. What did I do though, to have to have to spend eternity with mental third rate journalism( snicker ) majors?

  7. The paper has been dying a slow death for such a long time. Let them just dry up and blow away. We don’t need them. We have sources of information like this blog and others.

  8. Y’know, for just 50 cents or so, you can buy a whole stack of newspapers from a machine.

    Wonderful material to litter with.

    And then we can agitate to tax newsprint paper as being the source material contributing to a dirty environment.

    Just sayin’

  9. The sad part is we won’t be rid of them when the sacbee bites the dust. Ombambi will just hire them to work for the white house.

  10. So, after insulting their subscribers as infantile and childish, they NOW insult their intelligence by telling them “OOPS! That’s not what we meant to write/publish!”

    You know, when I try to put myself in the position of people like this, and try to think like they think and understand how they come to these hare-brained ideas, my brain begins to shut down…wait, then maybe I am actually doing it right!

  11. The good news is, newspapers will survive in the form that they originally took, years and years ago. They will be local in content, and will be limited in their scope and distribution. As such, they will correctly focus on local events.
    The era of the mega-paper is effectively over. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  12. Stupid editorials, it goes without saying. But what do they have to do with “journalism”? Editorials aren’t journalism, and their writers aren’t journalists. Yet you (sarcastically) referred to them as our “journalistic” betters.

    They’re just bloggers, really. That’s what it amounts to. These editorial boards might deserve to die, but I sure don’t want the actual news business to go down with them. That would suck for all of us.

  13. I can’t wait until The New York Times finally sinks, I’ll break open a bottle of champagne & laugh my ass off ….
    Politicians, lawyers, & journalists – the lowest form of life on the planet.

  14. Here.
    Editorial writers and editors consider themselves journalists, and most of them did go through the stage of being reporters.
    This gives you an idea of the atmosphere, the choices of what to follow, what to ignore, what adjectives to use when you like something, or don’t.

  15. As much as this was a terrific effort to get these measures voted down, I am afraid it will be impotent exercise. The Govenor and his supplicants will ask the US federal government for the money. Obama will never let California go bankrupt – he depends on the electoral votes from that state. There will be no reduction in The Golden State’s budget and no one will stand up to the special interest groups who feed on entitlements.

  16. God’s little fishes in trousers. If this idiotic, condescending left-wing snot is typical of modern ‘journalism’, then small wonder people are going to online sources. After all, what sane person would willingly pay to be insulted by some ivory-tower fatcat and a cadre of mindless libtard hacks?

  17. Those guys are the reason why I kept my subscription to the now-defunct Sacramento Union until its very last gasp*, and never did take a daily paper again as long as I lived in Sacramento after that.

    * A couple of years ago I discovered there was a revival of the Union but it’s gone now too.

  18. These are the geniuses that are following the SF Chron business model – if nobody’s buying your paper at $.50 a copy, just raise the price by a quarter…

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