Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01


Oh, we’ve REALLY got him now!

All of what I’ve seen of Fire and Fury so far seems more sound and fury, a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing. Donald Trump was so ignorant he didn’t know who John Boehner was, Wolff writes. It took me a fifteen-second Google search to prove that wasn’t true. Trump had spoken about Boehner frequently. He played golf with the guy! It’s an important anecdote meant to tell us something about the president of the United States and it’s utterly false. What kind of writer — what kind of publisher — doesn’t check that stuff?

Or consider this description from Wolff’s self-promotion piece for Hollywood Reporter: “Everybody was painfully aware of the increasing pace of [Trump’s] repetitions. It used to be inside of 30 minutes he’d repeat, word-for-word and expression-for-expression, the same three stories — now it was within 10 minutes.”

We know this isn’t true. As recently as October, we saw Trump speak for 45 minutes off-the-cuff under press questioning. Over Christmas, he talked to the New York Times. He’s clearly all there. A big, outlandish character, no question, but no more outlandish than he was in the 1980s. Why should Wolff’s assertion get any sort of attention at all?

The nation’s journalists cover this obvious nonsense because otherwise, they’d have to enter what to them is uncharted territory: the truth.

If there’s anything substantial in Wolff’s tales of chaos in the early Trump White House, it shows nothing more than this: Those of us who thought the political neophyte Trump was unprepared to take office in January were correct, and Trump’s response — that he would learn in office and appoint the “best people” to help him — was equally correct.

But that would mean that Trump is practically smarter and more adept than the journalists who hate him and those journalists will accept any narrative other than that one. The White House is running more smoothly? Well, that’s John Kelly’s doing, not Trump’s. ISIS is defeated? Well, that’s Matthis’s work, not Trump’s. Great judicial appointments? Well, that’s the Federalist Society. Tax cuts? That’s Ryan and McConnell. Regulatory rollbacks? Well, that’s all those guys running the agencies. Trump is so busy tweeting and watching the Gorilla Channel, he just hasn’t had time to get in the way, that’s all.

We are watching our mainstream news media implode. They don’t just jump on any fake news that might make Trump look bad for the few moments before they’re forced to retract it. They’re now actually reporting their fantasies — fantasies in which Trump doesn’t keep making them look like the idiots they are.

Perhaps even worse for them, at least in the longer term, the whole farce amounts to nothing more than a rerun of the exact same method they’ve used to try to undermine the last several Republican presidents, as Rush points out:

“He’s lost it.”  Hey, let’s take this: “He’s a moron, an idiot, the man does not read and does not listen.” I want to remind you 2005 we were informed by Karl Rove that he and George W. Bush had a reading contest to see who could read the most books. Rove won it. In a year, Rove read 115, Bush read 95. What’d they say about Bush? Stupid, dumb, moron, cowboy. Bush was reading rings around the Drive-By Media.

Bush was more educated, more informed than anybody in the press corps covering him. What’d they say? They insulted his intelligence all the time. They told us, “This is a cowboy,” made fun of the way he spoke. I give you Will Ferrell’s impersonation of Bush. They portrayed him as the biggest idiot, which is what the media and Democrats do with every Republican president. Ronald Reagan? Dunce, stupid, idiot, sleeping all the time, didn’t know what’s going on his administration. Trump, same thing. George W. Bush, too.

It all serves to underscore an important truth: the self-proclaimed “party of new ideas” is wholly bereft of any, their “progressive” appellation one of history’s more notable misnomers. They’re only capable of running the same old plays from a very tired, dogeared old playbook; they truly, literally, have nothing else. Sadly for them, it’s not working like it used to, which itself is a cheering reminder of the once-mighty Leftymedia monolith’s near-complete inability to cover for them anymore. In the short term, it’s amusing as all hell to the rest of us. In the long term, it spells Lefty’s doom. Which is also amusing as all hell to the rest of us.

I dunno, though; maybe they’re so self-evidently stupid and incompetent themselves (57 states? Islands tipping over if too many people gather on one side? “Wiping” hard drives with a cloth? The Constitution is “confusing” because it’s, like, a hundred years old? Actually being dumbass enough to click a phishing-scam link? “Shoulder thing that goes up?” Pretty much any and every word out of blockhead Al Gore’s mouth?) that they just have no choice but to reassure themselves by sticking their tongues out and their thumbs in their ears, waggling their fingers, and going “Neener neener neener! Big stupid dummyhead!” at every Republican they see. Freud had a word for that sort of thing, as I recollect.

Either way, when this latest nothingburger blows up in their faces, it just might wind up being the most hilarious yet of their innumerable self-beclownings. Their sudden about-face embrace of the poor, raddled old sot Bannon—heretofore loathed as History’s Greatest Monster, denounced by the whole sorry lot of them as the Hitleriest of all possible Hitlers—as the lynchpin of the entire farrago is merely the icing on the cake.

Oh, and that “gorilla channel” business Klavan mentions is laugh-out-loud funny, too. It’s just the latest instance of these lackwits badly punking themselves by pratfalling all over yet another can’t-miss “gotcha” that turned out to be a prank—another banana peel slipped under their clumsy feet, yielding the usual delightful result.

To quote yet again from Paul Newman in Absence Of Malice: “I didn’t get you. You got yourselves.” It’s just too easy with the damned dopes, is what it is. More rakes for Liberal Sideshow Bob, stat!

Delusional update! A gut-busting shriek of pain from an alternate universe:

Wolff’s scabrous book comes out on Friday — the publication date was moved up amid a media furor — but I was able to get an advance copy. It’s already a consequential work, having precipitated a furious rift between the president and his former chief strategist, Steve Bannon, who told Wolff that the meeting Donald Trump Jr. brokered with Russians in the hope of getting dirt on Hillary Clinton was “treasonous” and “unpatriotic.” On Thursday the president’s lawyers sent a cease-and-desist letter to Wolff’s publisher, Henry Holt, demanding that it stop publication, claiming, among other things, defamation and invasion of privacy. This move would be fascistic if it weren’t so farcical. (While some have raised questions about Wolff’s methods, Axios reports that he has many hours of interviews recorded.)

Well, the book is scabrous right enough. But…”consequential”? The jerry-rigged “controversy” so ham-handedly implemented by its author has fizzled out quicker than all previous Deep State coup attempts, as Wolff’s dishonesty and stark lack of integrity have been laid bare example by odious example. But this is an NYT piece, so its author is even more desperate than most to keep her death-grip on those precious delusions secure.

But most of all, the book confirms what is already widely understood — not just that Trump is entirely unfit for the presidency, but that everyone around him knows it. One thread running through “Fire and Fury” is the way relatives, opportunists and officials try to manipulate and manage the president, and how they often fail.

Umm, facility for short-circuiting the skullduggery of people seeking to manipulate him—which you just openly acknowledged, probably accidentally—would seem to indicate a certain competence on Trump’s part, no?

No, of course not. Never mind. Onwards.

Maybe, at the moment, people in the Trump orbit feel complacent because a year has passed without any epic disaster, unless you count an estimated 1,000 or so deaths in Puerto Rico, which they probably don’t. There’s an old joke, recently cited by Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo, that describes where we are right now: A guy falls from a 50-story building. As he flies by the 25th floor, someone asks how it’s going. “So far, so good!” he says.

Eventually, we’ll hit the ground, and assuming America survives, there should be a reckoning to dwarf the defenestration of Harvey Weinstein and his fellow ogres.

Oh, America—YOUR America, the enervated, feeble one created by Progtard America-haters that is helpless before its enemies; permanently impoverished under a stagnant, government-mismanaged economy; an object of scornful contempt across the globe; adrift because of a moral uncertainty and a vapid contrition imposed on it by people who view it as the font of all evil; bereft of influence, clarity, strength, and will due to the treasonous actions of juvenile pissants made tumescent by the prospect of its ruin—THAT American certainly won’t survive.

Good riddance to it, too; dismantling the Left’s malignant perversion of the Founders’ America is the whole reason we elected Trump in the first place, in case anyone’s so thick they hadn’t realized it yet. He’s already done a better job at reversing the damage done by a disastrous, decades-long rein of error than even the most optimistic of his supporters dared to dream he would—which is what makes the pitiful cri de coeur above so very damned funny and satisfying. Before too much longer Goldberg and her ilk will be reduced to drafting their lamentations in crayon, from a room with rubber walls.

“Democracy dies in darkness”? No, it’s liberal-fascist fantasy doing the dying here, going out not with a bang but a whimper.

Here’s the link to the wretched mess of an article if you’re interested, although I warn you again that it’s to the NYT, and as such I present it with no small reluctance.



  1. Calling someone a “journalist” is now the only politically-correct way to publicly call someone a barking retard without offending actual retarded people.

    They’re all fake news.

    That kid from Hans Christian Andersen, the one who pointed out that the emperor was naked?
    He grew up to be Donald Trump.

  2. As I said several days ago in another comment:

    An astonishing amount of media and deep state effort each week goes into supplying soothing syrup so insane Trump haters can sleep at night.

    The Wolfe book will do well precisely because of that demand. Plenty of delusional Trump haters will sit in their beds giggling over this book, and it will calm them down in the face of Trump’s successes and the continuing failure of the “gotta get Trump outta there” crowd.

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