We’re from the government, and we’re here to help

July 30th, 2017

Having them in charge of our health care is going to work out just fine though, I’m sure.

Who would make a can without a vent unless it was done under duress?

That sound of frustration in this guy’s voice was strangely familiar, the grumble that comes when something that used to work but doesn’t work anymore, for some odd reason we can’t identify.

I’m pretty alert to such problems these days. Soap doesn’t work. Toilets don’t flush. Clothes washers don’t clean. Light bulbs don’t illuminate. Refrigerators break too soon. Paint discolors. Lawnmowers have to be hacked. It’s all caused by idiotic government regulations that are wrecking our lives one consumer product at a time, all in ways we hardly notice.

It’s like the barbarian invasions that wrecked Rome, taking away the gains we’ve made in bettering our lives. It’s the bureaucrats’ way of reminding market producers and consumers who is in charge.

How many other things in our daily lives have been distorted, deformed and destroyed by government regulations?

Ask yourself this: If they can wreck such a normal and traditional item like this, and do it largely under the radar screen, what else have they mandatorily malfunctioned? How many other things in our daily lives have been distorted, deformed and destroyed by government regulations?

Oh, most of them, really. We ARE after all talking about the same fumblefingered numbskulls who mandated that we all start running ethanol in our vehicles and lawn care equipment, a fuel that A) destroys engines, B) costs more to produce, C) creates more pollution, and D) is less fuel-efficient than regular gasoline.

If FederalGovCo were to set out to bake you a nice apple pie, it would require 200 paper-pushers to oversee the job; it would take ten years for the FDA to approve the recipe; it would end up costing about 700 dollars; and it would be so disgusting as to be inedible. If your grandma—who had baked a million of the things, all of which were perfectly delicious—tried to come into the kitchen to help out, she would be jailed for not having the proper license. If you complained about the taste, your honesty would get you a serious denunciation for “hate speech” for hurting the feelings of the eighteen transgender lunatics involved in the process as mandated by law, despite the fact that not one of them had ever baked so much as a Swanson’s chicken pot pie in their entire lives.

Then a blue-ribbon panel would be appointed to get to the bottom of the whole disaster, and Congressional Republicans would spend the next fourteen years holding hearings about it. In the end, we’ll all agree that it’s Trump’s fault—working together with the Russians, no doubt—and just say to hell with it and go to McDonald’s instead.

Government is supposed to be for building roads, securing the borders, and providing for national defense…and it can barely even get those things right. What it now is is a jobs program for morons too incompetent for useful work, and/or those drawn to it because of their megalomaniacal penchant for bossing others around. The more things we allow it to get its grubby fingers into, the more things it will wreck, and the unhappier we will all be.

And, well, here we all are.

(Via Glenn)

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Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site, and may be deleted, edited, ridiculed, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. Thank you.
  1. Groman
    July 30th, 2017 at 10:20 | #1
    Ah yes, the fabulous EPA approved gas can. No doubt designed by graduates of Cluster Fuck University. I managed to pick up an old metal one at a yard sale with the spout that doesn't need two hands to use and a vent so that the gas flows freely. Please don't turn me into the authorities.
  2. cspschofield
    July 30th, 2017 at 10:40 | #2
    The problem is very simple; the Government envisioned by the founders was one of the most radical ever proposed. It would have been a service organization, established to undertake the boring and repetitive work necessary to society. Working for it would be deadly dull, which is why the founders expected the people who were to lead it to have other, permanent, jobs they would return to after working for The State.

    What they failed to take into account is that when people's jobs are dull, they will look for a way to enliven them. Something fun. Something where once can torment the Unwashed buy having them fill out forms that will never be looked at again.Something where one gets to tell the Unwashed "No" a lot.

  3. KenS
    July 30th, 2017 at 13:44 | #3
    Of course, things that don't work has nothing to do with the "Made in China" label, right? This is why there are regulations, because evil, greedy corporations like Wally-Mart would gladly sell unsafe, dangerous products as long as they cost $.02 less than those made in the US.
  4. emdfl
    July 30th, 2017 at 16:41 | #4
    They may be made in China but they don't work because the stupid damn government bureaucracy couldn't design a working paper clip let alone a functional gas can. The solution is to go on line and buy the NATO (preferably original ones) standard 20-liter can and never look back.
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