Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

PAYDIRT!!!

The Citizen Journalist Action Alert Brigade has already struck gold in HideousmonsterPalinwhoIhatemorethananythinggate. Hold onto your hats, folks, because you will scarcely believe the stunning HYPOCRISY evident in this e-mail. Thank God for Citizen Journalists and their demented obsession with Palin; otherwise, the LID might never have been RIPPED OFF of this OUTRAGEOUS SCANDAL, which demands a federal investigation, a fair trial, and a first-class hanging at the very least:

06/10/2011 10:40 PM Palin Needs A Drink
HuffPost’s Jason Cherkis:
According to a Washington Post account, Palin worried about leaving alcohol around the house: “With so many kids and teens coming and going in that house, esp during this season of celebrationstt [sic] for young people — proms, graduations, etc, I want to send the msg that we can be — and ‘the People’s House’ needs to be — alcohol-free,” the governor emailed Erika Fagerstrom, the executive residence manager, on May 6, 2007.

But by July 2008, Palin appears to have changed her tune, requesting that Fagerstrom hustle up some bubbly: “Pls get small bottles of champagne for the house. Thanks.”

Fagerstorm later replied: “They’re in the basement, but let me [know] – we can bring some upstairs. Thanks, E.”

Palin responded: “Yes, we’ll need some upstairs.” She later added further instructions about where the mini champagne bottles should go: “Just in the kitchen wine fridge is all I need at this point. I can bring them up from downstairs…where are they?”

The MONSTROUS, EVIL, ALCOHOLIC, DRUNKEN BITCH. Endangering our children with her uncontrollable lust for demon rum, in blatant contradiction of her HYPOCRITICAL and phony “concern” about maintaining her deception about her out of control drinking. She actually made a statement suggesting she intended to set a good example for our children, and then, a mere year later, decides to slake her rampant thirst for spiritous liquors with a few mini-bottles of champagne, without regard for either our children or her previous lie!

INCREDIBLE. OUTRAGEOUS. INHUMAN.

Plus, how about her staggering insensitivity to the Noble Poor, as she arrogantly orders her servants to stock her Larder of Sin instead of doing it herself? Oh, sure, she callously pretends to throw these poor downtrodden laborers a bone by saying she can “bring them up from downstairs” herself, but what reasonable person could doubt for a moment that this DISGUSTING LUSH would end up forgetting or something, and then breaking the spirits as well as the backs of her slaves by demanding that they do it for her? Probably while lashing them with a buggy whip laced with roofing nails the whole time?

Not only did she sully the Alaskan People’s House with her dissipation and debauchery; not only did she try to trick decent people with her intentionally misleading statement about keeping the governor’s mansion “alcohol free,” when she clearly had no intention of adhering to that most solemn of oaths; she WANTONLY BRUTALIZED her poor, hard-working staff by making them a party to her Bacchanalian proclivities. Not to even mention the profligate waste of taxpayer money involved in stocking her tawdry, trailer-trash mini-bar, and the deadly carbon wantonly released into the atmosphere by the completely unnecessary drive to the local likker store.

Is there no depth to which this vicious termegant will not sink to satisfy her grotesque appetites? No lie too brazen, no treachery too base, no shame too filthy to wallow in like a pig (with lipstick!) in mud? SHE WANTED A FEW CHEAP MINI-BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, a bourgeois drink favored by despots and slavemasters throughout history! How DARE she present herself as being in touch with the common people when she so defiantly indulges her decadence in such a fashion? WAKE UP, AMERICA!

If anyone had any qualms about courageously acknowledging this woman as PURE EVIL INCARNATE, let those qualms be laid to rest forever. THE DEVIL WALKS AMONG US. AND HE CALLS HIMSELF SARAH PALIN.

Plus, she spelled “celebration” wrong — sic! Sic! Godammit, SIIIIC!

And those idiot Palin supporters made sport of us, saying there wouldn’t be any bombshell scandals lurking in this treasure trove of iniquity, dishonesty, and treason. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW, WINGNUTTZZ™?

Update! ZOMG!!eleventy!! IT GETS EVEN WORSE, if you can believe it:

Among the people talking up a vice presidential run to Sarah Palin before she was picked: George W. Bush.

Palin wrote her chief of staff Mike Nizich about an encounter she had with the then-president in early August — about a month before John McCain selected her as the running mate.

“The [president] and I spoke about military, [including] Track’s deployment and how Iraq is a different place than it was a year ago,” Palin wrote Nizich. “He also spoke about (and we joked about) VP buzz.”

CONFIRMED: the existence of a shadowy, vast right-wing conspiracy intent on stifling dissent and destroying our sovereign socialist nation! THIS WOMAN TALKED TO GEORGE W BUSH! They apparently did some light plotting on his illegal, immoral war for oil imperial conquest corporate fatcats Halliburton his monstrous ego his feeble “manhood” the destruction of the entire planet in Iraq, as well as firming up their plans to kill every man, woman, and child in the world who isn’t in the oil business and makes less than a million a year.

SHE TALKED TO GEORGE W BUSH! How much more do we need to have her summarily executed, for God’s sake? THE PEOPLE DEMAND JUSTICE!

Most pathetic update EVAR! NYT: our bug-fuck insane obsession with Palin is all Palin’s fault. Y’know, at some point, laughing at droolcases this pitifully retarded begins to feel a little…well, great, actually.

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