{"id":14243,"date":"2023-09-19T02:03:48","date_gmt":"2023-09-19T06:03:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/?p=14243"},"modified":"2023-09-19T02:14:12","modified_gmt":"2023-09-19T06:14:12","slug":"hey-did-somebody-misplace-a-turducken","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/hey-did-somebody-misplace-a-turducken\/","title":{"rendered":"Hey, did somebody misplace a Turducken?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It would seem so, yeah.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/us\/f-35-jet-reported-missing-authorities-pilot-ejects-mishap-officials\"><strong>Search for missing F-35 Lightning II fighter jet continues after pilot ejects during \u2018mishap&#8217;<\/strong><\/a><br \/>U.S. military officials are searching for a missing F-35 jet after a &#8220;mishap&#8221; caused its pilot to eject on Sunday afternoon.<\/p>\n<p>Joint Base Charleston said on Facebook that the aircraft was a Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II belonging to Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort. The pilot ejected safely and was transported to a local medical center.<\/p>\n<p>The base is working with Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort to help locate the missing aircraft. Emergency response teams have been deployed to find the jet.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Based on the jet\u2019s last-known position and in coordination with the FAA, we are focusing our attention north of JB Charleston, around Lake Moultrie and Lake Marion,&#8221; Joint Base Charleston said in a statement on Facebook.<\/p>\n<p>Anyone with information about the jet&#8217;s whereabouts is urged to contact JB Charleston Base Defense Operations Center at 843-963-3600.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That strange sound you hear is hilarity, ensuing. For his part, BCE <a href=\"https:\/\/bigcountryexpat.com\/index.php\/2023\/09\/18\/for-sale-slightly-used-f-35-needs-new-ejection-seat\/\">has a question<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Let me get this straight\u2026<br \/><em>An 80 <strong>million<\/strong> dollar aircraft<\/em><br \/>Known as the \u201cFlying Turducken\u201d or \u201cThe Turd\u201d<br \/><em>80 fucking <strong>million<\/strong> dollars, and they don\u2019t even have the fucking thing LoJacked!?!<\/em><br \/><strong>My car<\/strong> is fucking LoJacked FFS.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Not only that, but as I recollect, <a href=\"https:\/\/simpleflying.com\/black-boxes\/\">commercial airliners<\/a>; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.westmarine.com\/west-advisor\/Selecting-an-Emergency-Beacon.html\">boats\/ships<\/a> of a certain size both civilian and military; <a href=\"https:\/\/fleetgo.com\/fleet-tracking\/truck-tracking\/\">tractor-trailer rigs<\/a>; and even <a href=\"https:\/\/www.caranddriver.com\/research\/a32879494\/on-star-plans\/\">most\u00a0<em>cars<\/em> nowadays<\/a> are all equipped with some sort of locator-beacon\/tracking device or another. Have been for years, in fact. Yet somehow, a fully-tricked-out, state of the art, next-generation air-superiority fighter\u2014supposedly the very best Amerika v2.0 can design, build, and deploy, the very tippy-top of the top of the line\u2014<em>ISN\u2019T<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>Naah, not sketchy AT. ALL. Now look, everybody, over there: <strong><em>SQUIRREL!!!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It would seem so, yeah. Search for missing F-35 Lightning II fighter jet continues after pilot ejects during \u2018mishap&#8217;U.S. military officials are searching for a missing F-35 jet after a &#8220;mishap&#8221; caused its pilot to eject on Sunday afternoon. Joint Base Charleston said on Facebook&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"easywp-readmore\"><a class=\"read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/hey-did-somebody-misplace-a-turducken\/\">Would you like to know more?<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Hey, did somebody misplace a Turducken?<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,17,202,42,48,54,71,101,124,126],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-big-tsimmis","category-culture-of-incompetence","category-disasters-near-and-far","category-flotsam-andor-jetsam","category-fucking-morons","category-life-in-a-once-great-nation","category-tards","category-wings","category-wtf","wpcat-13-id","wpcat-17-id","wpcat-202-id","wpcat-42-id","wpcat-48-id","wpcat-54-id","wpcat-71-id","wpcat-101-id","wpcat-124-id","wpcat-126-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14243"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14243\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14247,"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14243\/revisions\/14247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coldfury.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}