We do funeral services wrong.
After some guy dies, a series of people get up and talk about how wonderful he was. He doesn’t get any benefit from hearing how great everyone thought he was and they all feel bad about having lost such a great guy.
A better way to do it is to have an appreciation ceremony while the guy is still alive. Get his friends and neighbors and family and civic group together and talk about how much he means to all of them. Things will be said that wouldn’t normally be, tears will be shed, and everyone will get on with their lives.
Then, when the guy dies, have a different kind of memorial. “He only knew three jokes and he couldn’t be stopped from telling them every time he was in a group.” “Just never let him eat cabbage. Lord have mercy, he could pollute the whole room.” “He was a good father but that man could not keep it in his pants. I swear, half the time we were married I wanted to castrate him.” “Sumbitch never did pay me back that thousand dollars he borrowed.”
Put the memorial together like that and his friends and neighbors and family and civic groups will remember why they’re glad he’s gone. To put the cherry on top, instead of a church choir singing Amazing Grace, have a kazoo soloist lead the congregation in the macarena.
(Yes, I’m aware that for decades some churches have conducted pre-memorial get-togethers for their elderly or sickly congregants. Good idea. They did one for my late father-in-law, not long before he was housebound with untreatable cancer. Brought him to tears.)
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I’ve always thought the Irish had the right of it with their traditional wake.