Dead on point, and a hilarious analogy.
Some of you may be wondering why the entire bureaucratic caste of the USA is completely obsessed with weird sex stuff.
Sure, we can all have good fun ranting about how insane this cult is, and watching them melt down when we leave skid marks on their sacred icons, but sooner or later, you gotta ask… why.
It’s the toaster-fucker problem. Some of you may be familiar. Goes like this, and I quote:
I blame the internet. Back in the days before it, we had to learn to live with those around us, now you can just go out and find someone as equally stupid as yourself.
I call it the toaster fucker problem. Man wakes up in 1980, tells his friends “I want to fuck a toaster” Friends quite rightly berate and laugh at him, guy deals with it, maybe gets some therapy and goes on a bit better adjusted.
Guy in 2021 tells his friends that he wants to fuck a toaster, gets laughed at, immediately jumps on facebook and finds “Toaster Fucker Support group” where he reads that he’s actually oppressed and he needs to cut out everyone around him and should only listen to his fellow toaster fuckers.
Apply this analogy to literally any insular bubble, it applies as equally to /r/thedonald as it does to the emaciated Che Guevara larpers that cry thinking about ringing their favourite pizza place.
But the toaster fucker problem doesn’t stop there.
Because every social group has an axis of prestige. They have to compete with each other for status somehow. That’s what humans do.
And in the toaster-fucking group, the axis of prestige aligns with fucking toasters.
So first they compete to see who can fuck the most toasters.
Then, when that is saturated, they one up each other by being most open with the general public about their toaster fucking ways.
Then they make toaster-fucker pride t-shirts and hats and bumper stickers.
Then they move on to bragging about how they sneak into other people’s kitchens and fuck their toasters, too, and swap tips for how to introduce kids to the joys of toaster-fucking.
But it doesn’t stop there, either.
Pretty soon normal people, who ten years before would shrugged and said “that’s weird”, are now sick of toaster-fucker flags everywhere and their kids being told to fuck toasters by sickos, and now they’re going to burn every toaster-fucker flag they see, and Florida just passed a law requiring you to be 21 years old with proof of ID to buy a toaster. And Utah has banned toasters altogether and the Mormons have stopped even eating toast, bagels, waffles, or any other heated bread product.
But it doesn’t stop there, either.
And, incredible as it may seem to saner sorts, it doesn’t. It really, really doesn’t.
(Via Bayou Peter)
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abso-fucking-lutely hilarious… do they date the toasters, do you think? Like maybe a very attractive stainless or chrome model, that you would be proud to have on your arm while out on the town, and…
Nevermind… probably as perverse and sick as the rest of the weird shit “they” do
Embrace the power of “No, that’s sick, why would you even think that?”