GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Worst President EVAR

Reviewing the most deplorable in a very big basket of ‘em.

Woodrow Wilson made democracy unsafe for the world
Let’s stop kidding ourselves. The U.S. role in World War I had disastrous consequences.

Wilson was narrowly re-elected in 1916 based on a campaign slogan, “He kept us out of war.” But Wilson had massively violated neutrality by providing armaments and money to the Allied powers that had been fighting Germany since 1914. In his war speech to Congress, Wilson hailed the U.S. government as “one of the champions of the rights of mankind” and proclaimed that “the world must be made safe for democracy.”

American soldiers fought bravely and helped turn the tide on the Western Front in late 1918. But the cost was far higher than Americans anticipated. More than a hundred thousand American soldiers died in the third bloodiest war in U.S. history. Another half million Americans perished from the Spanish flu epidemic spurred and spread by the war.

In his speech to Congress, Wilson declared, “We have no quarrel with the German people” and feel “sympathy and friendship” towards them. But his administration speedily commenced demonizing the “Huns.” One Army recruiting poster portrayed German troops as an ape ravaging a half-naked damsel beneath an appeal to “Destroy this mad brute.”

Wilson acted as if the congressional declaration of war against Germany was also a declaration of war against the Constitution. Harvard professor Irving Babbitt commented in 1924: “Wilson, in the pursuit of his scheme for world service, was led to make light of the constitutional checks on his authority and to reach out almost automatically for unlimited power.” Wilson even urged Congress to set up detention camps to quarantine “alien enemies.”

Wilson unleashed ruthless censorship of any criticism. Anyone who spoke publicly against military conscription was likely to get slammed with federal espionage or sedition charges. Possessing a pamphlet entitled Long Live the Constitution of the United States earned six months in jail for a Pennsylvania malcontent. Censorship was buttressed by fanatic propaganda campaigns led by the Committee on Public Information, a federal agency whose shameless motto was “faith in democracy… faith in fact.”

The war enabled the American equivalent of the Taliban to triumph on the home front. Prohibition advocates “indignantly insisted that… any kind of opposition to prohibition was sinister and subversively pro-German,” noted William Ross, author of World War 1 and the American Constitution. Even before the 18th Amendment (which banned alcohol consumption) was ratified, Wilson banned beer sales as a wartime measure. Prohibition was a public health disaster; the rate of alcoholism tripled during the 1920s. To punish lawbreakers, the federal government added poisons to industrial alcohol that was often converted into drinkable hooch; ten thousand people were killed as a result. Professor Deborah Blum, the author of The Poisoner’s Handbook, noted that “an official sense of higher purpose kept the poisoning program in place.”

The war provided the pretext for unprecedented federal domination of the economy. Washington promised that “food will win the war” and farmers vastly increased their plantings. Price supports and government credits for foreign buyers sent crop prices and land prices skyrocketing. However, when the credits ended in 1920, prices and land values plunged, spurring massive bankruptcies across rural America. This spurred perennial political discontent that helped lead to a federal takeover of agriculture by the Roosevelt administration in the 1930s.

And the rest, as they say, is history. As Glenn mordantly reminds us: Well, worst President so far.

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Joke turns out not to be a joke after all

Okay, I admit I was just joking around (well, mostly) when I suggested yesterday that the CDC’s phonus balonus E Coli scare attempt was Überstadt retaliation against Mickey D’s. Looks like, despite everything, maybe I’m not quite as cynical as I really ought to be yet.

Democrats Target McDonald’s for Price Gouging After Trump Served Customers
Senate Democrats attacked McDonald’s on Tuesday for price gouging while it continues to “grow” profits and serve the needs of customers.

The letter, written by Sens. Ron Wyden (D-OR), Bob Casey (D-PA), and Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), underscores the success of former President Donald Trump’s campaign stop on Sunday when he worked a McDonald’s drive-thru window in Pennsylvania.

Images and video of the former president helping customers to McDonald’s finest foods nearly broke the internet. Many of Trump’s critics heralded the gesture as great retail politics and a stroke of political genius.

Senate Democrats, however, appeared very upset by Trump’s success.

In a letter addressed to McDonald’s Chief Executive Officer Chris Kempczinski, the senators sought information about the fast-food restaurant’s “increases in fast food prices over the last several years and seeking information regarding McDonald’s pricing decisions.”

The letter made no mention of the policies implemented by the Biden-Harris administration that fueled inflation.

No, of course not. Why would they have, frankly? That wouldn’t be “helping” anybody, y’know.

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They’re from the government, and they’re NOT here to help

Tonight’s Eyrie post is on the thuggish FederalGovCo rakehells’ ham-handed interference with well-organized and effective private rescue efforts in and around Lake Lure and Asheville, specifically centering on Elon Musk’s (!) repeated run-ins with the infamous FEMA. It’s blindingly obvious to all but the most wllfully purblind fief-guarding tyranno-Fed that those poor people need every last bit of help they can possibly get, and aren’t overly concerned about whence it originated. Not that the Fedgoons give a tinker’s damn, of course.

That said, our friend of many years standing and fellow Carolinian Herschel Smith (maybe I’ve mentioned it here before, but his lovely daughter [or maybe niece? dunno, I was zonked out on pain meds at the time] kindly paid me a seriously morale-boosting visit at the thoughtful behest of her pop when I was laid up in rehab center durance vile not long after I’d become the World’s Greatest One-Legged Blogger™) has plenty to say on that score his own self. Read of it, for It. Is. Good.

The Hurricane Helene Hall of Shame
Following up on my post How Helene Affected The People Of Appalachia, there are a number of shameful things that we’re learning about the official response.

Let’s begin with this terrible report of a man who used his own helicopter to rescue stranded people above Asheville, N.C., and who was told if he continued, he would be placed under arrest.

The responsible officials are Dustin Waycaster – Fire Chief, and Chris Melton – Asst. Fire Chief. Congratulations men, you’ve made the hall of shame. It would take an entire article to examine the moral implications of preventing the rescue of men and women in danger, but we’ll leave it at that and cover it later. Suffice it to say that it sounds like you were discomfited by someone showing you up and “interfering with your operation.” Although it’s likely a manifest lie to say that anyone was really interfering with anything.

An eminently safe bet, I should think. Lots, lots more where that came from, of which you absolutely must read the all. Those taking nitro-glycerin pills for heart issues will definitely want to have their ‘scrip close to hand, and peruse Herschel’s piece in a cool, calm, and collected state of mind, preferably while seated. You won’t be any of those things for long, trust me on that one.

The HHHoS is populating itself all too quickly to suit me.

Update! Is it all about the lithium, perchance?


Several Lake Lure denizens calling in to the Rise Guys program yesterday and today said that great swathes of land on which private homes and/or neighborhoods formerly stood have been preemptively declared FedGovCo property. Lord knows the batteries in all those useless, dangerous EVs Harris/Biden & Pals are determined to cram down our throats are gonna require lithium aplenty. SO, then: fact, or merely the sort of paranoiac rumor that tends to fly around in extreme circumstances such as this? Is it really a case of Federal ad lib opportunism run amok, in essence a spur of the moment land-and-lithium grab?

Given what we’ve learned over the past several years regarding the far-less-than-benevolent nature of Amerika v2.0’s central Leviathan, it doesn’t take a cynic to think the whole thing a mite suspicious, at the very least.

Updated update! Re: those aforementioned chopper jocks, it bears mentioning that it’s not as if they were all just flying around willy-nilly, hither and yon, endangering themselves, their rescuees, other SAR personnel, and unwary shell-shocked survivors with their ill-considered blundering about. Oh HELL no!

These are fucking experienced helicopter pilots we’re talking about here, people—trained, capable, safety-conscious, procedure-oriented, highly intelligent. They are assuredly NOT the kind of vacuous ninnyhammers constantly tripping over their own dicks and guffawing a la Disney’s Goofy at their own gormless stupidity; quite the contrary, these are qualified civil aviators who’d never even DREAM of doing anything at all without a plan.

From what the pilot I heard on the radio yesterday morning said (and what I saw later in photos), the ‘copters were all arrayed in a neat line on the tarmac of a nearby airfield; every pilot was in close, constant communication with the others as well as with ground control; all had properly detailed flight plans filed with ATC before a single engine spooled up.

FEMA has attempted to portray these men as chuckleheads, amateurs, and gloryhounds—which, being arrogant, officious Überstadt pricks, is how THEY see them, certainly. But as anyone who has ever personally known either a fixed- or rotary-wing aircraft operator will attest, it just ain’t so. Turns out the bureau-rats are every bit as full of shit as they always are, have been, and forever will be. Imagine my surprise.

Update to the updated update! My brother-from-another-mother BCE reports on what I consider a most felicitous development. To wit:


Well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, WELL. Fancy that. Billy follows up:

And the reason for it?

No hard evidence but the general story is Mr. Director from Virginia got shitty with a woman and her three lil kids and wouldn’t let them get any water/food or supplies. She melted down and this asshole was all smug about it…

The local men didn’t like that much.

“That’s an asswhuppin’!!!”

Personally, I’d go for hanging, but I’ll get into that more in a few…

Me and you both, my friend, me and you both. Additionally, and perhaps mo’ betta still, we have this.


Damned skippy. Nice to know that, even in times as parlous as these, enough is still enough, by God. Back over to Big Country for a ding-dong doozy of a denouement.

And then, the very fact that low level midwit fucktards have been interfering in the “real work” that ‘non-sanctioned’ groups have been doing, and doing fucking well infuriates me at a core level that I forgot I had.

My rage as of late is so bad that I have recently thought that the best way -someone- could contribute is to go down there with a good scoped hunting rifle in the ubiquitous 30-06 caliber, and start ‘working their way through’ the assholes in the FEMA vests to start with.

Case in Point:

That soon-to-be-X Fire Chief, Dustin Waycaster of Lake Lure who demanded that the free-flying Rescue-Ranger Chopper Jockey cease and desist DESPITE his overwhelming success rate in his previous rescues and threatened to arrest and impound his bird?

My question:
Why is he (the ‘chief’) still alive?
Why is his dwelling still standing?
Why is his family still alive?

Hard times call for DRASTIC Measures. I’m not, per se, calling for any violence against this miserable toolbag fucktard nor his domicile or fam…. HOWEVER, I AM all about questioning his current apparent good fortune in these trying circumstances… That he, who, in truth as the “Lead Asshole in “Incompetence on Parade”? is still drawing O2???…. and that HIS domicile is untouched as is his job???

Took the words right out of my mouth, B.

As is entirely apparent, the swaggering Überstadt douchenozzles have become all too accustomed to being kowtowed to, groveled before, and unquestioningly obeyed by the lowly Serf Class oafs they lord it over so contemptuously. Might it be that, in such extraordinarily grim circumstances, a righteous if long overdue reckoning is now at hand? Might it be that, against all odds and expectations, our would-be Masters could now find themselves set upon by cruelly savaged Carolinians who no longer have anything left to lose? Might this be the first faint rays of sunlight which herald the dawning of a glorious new American day? Might the appropriate relationship between Public Servant and Citizen at long last be restored? Might horrific catastrophe, destruction, and human suffering yet turn out to be our salvation?

We shall see.

MOAR Destructo-X

As if being a cop in San Franshitsco wasn’t already humiliation enough.


Hilarious.

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Take your best shot

Expect to see lots, lots more of this going forward.

Trump ‘safe and well’ after being targeted by would-be assassin with scoped AK-47 just a few hundred yards away while ex-prez played golf
Former President Donald Trump narrowly survived yet another assassination attempt after a sniper with a scoped AK-47 rifle got within a few hundred yards of him as he played golf at his West Palm Beach, Florida club on Sunday.

It is the second time a madman armed with an assault rifle has tried to kill the 45th president in two months.

Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw said the suspect took cover near a chain-link fence between 300 and 500 yards from Trump around 2 p.m. — noting that “with a rifle and scope, like, that is not a long distance.”

Law-enforcement sources told The Post that the suspect is Ryan Routh, a 58-year-old Hawaii resident who has championed progressive causes online and was a reliable donor to Democratic causes and candidates.

On Sunday, the accused wannabe assassin set up a GoPro camera on the fence with the apparent intent of recording the shooting — part of a full-fledged sniper’s nest he orchestrated in the hedges at the edge of the Trump International Golf Course, where he was lying in wait for Trump to come into view.

A Secret Service agent spotted the suspect as he stuck the barrel of his rifle through the chain fence on the outskirts of Trump International Golf Course West Palm Beach South.

The agent, who was a golf hole ahead of Trump, opened fire on the suspect — who then fled the scene, Bradshaw told reporters Sunday night.

Authorities have yet to determine if the shooter got off any shots at the Secret Service agents or at Trump.

“Madman,” you say? Yep, if this photo is any indication the description would appear to be most apt.


An AR, an AK—still curious as to how these Froot-Loop loonies are able to get anywhere within a country mile of Trump toting battle rifles like this. Twice in two months now? SRSLY?!?

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DEBUNKED!

Or, y’know, NOT. Whichever.

EXCLUSIVE: Police Audio, Report Confirm Haitian Goose-Hunting In Ohio: ‘They All Had Geese In Their Hands’
A caller reported to police a group of Haitian migrants carrying four geese in Springfield, Ohio in exclusive audio obtained by The Federalist.

A recording of a police phone call obtained by The Federalist reveals a local resident reporting a group of Haitian migrants carrying four geese in Springfield, Ohio two weeks ago.

“I’m sitting here, I’m riding on the trail, I’m going to my orientation for my job today, and I see a group of Haitian people, there was about four of ’em, they all had geese in their hand,” the caller tells the public services dispatcher in the audio recording of the call.

According to a police report reviewed by The Federalist, the call was placed on Aug. 26, before the Columbus suburb located roughly 50 miles from the state capital became nationally known this week for epitomizing the nation’s migrant crisis. The caller told the dispatcher he saw four migrants in total, two men and two women, each carrying a single goose.

“I was trying to get my phone out and I was trying to make it to this orientation on time,” the caller continued. “I’m time crunching here, and I saw that, I’m like, ‘Yeah this has got to be reported,” he tells the non-emergency police dispatcher.

“How many geese did they have?” the dispatcher asks the caller in the recording.

“Uh, they each had one,” he replies.

The caller says he spotted the Haitians carrying the geese at an intersection between Water and Warder Street, a location that does exist in Springfield and is confirmed in the police report later filed about the incident.

Debunked,” is it? Just another “liberal” lie, nothing more, in accordance with my longstanding guiding principle: Assume they’re lying, always, for if they couldn’t lie, they’d have nothing whatsoever to say. Which, come to think of it, sounds like another shoo-in candidate for addition to our Mike’s Iron Laws section, I do believe.

Update! As promised/threatened: done, and done.

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Historical illiteracy: it’s not just for the Left anymore

Man alive, obsessive JOOJOOJOOOOOphobia sure does lead some of us who really ought to know better into some pretty odd places, intellectually speaking.

No, Churchill Was Not the Villain
The historian Darryl Cooper has argued in an interview on Tucker Carlson’s show that Winston Churchill “was the chief villain of World War II,” which would be both interesting and indeed shocking were his thesis not based on such staggering ignorance and disregard for historical fact that it is safe to disregard completely.

Cooper’s first argument was that Churchill “was primarily responsible for that war becoming what it did, something other than an invasion of Poland.” Yet in the moment that Adolf Hitler invaded Belgium, Holland, and Luxembourg at dawn on May 10, 1940, Winston Churchill was not even prime minister. Unless Mr. Cooper is arguing that from his position as First Lord of the Admiralty—the head of Britain’s navy—Churchill was somehow able to force Hitler to unleash Blitzkrieg in the West, his first argument falls to the ground.

Hitler had planned his surprise attack through the Ardennes—the “Sickle-cut” maneuver—with senior generals such as Erich von Manstein, Erwin Rommel, and Gerd von Rundstedt several months before the attack took place. They bear responsibility “for that war becoming what it did,” not Churchill. Furthermore, they also bear full responsibility for the unprovoked invasion of neighboring Poland itself, about which Cooper and Carlson were silent.

In April 1939, when Churchill was not even in the cabinet, the British government guaranteed Poland’s security, so Hitler had no right to be surprised when Britain went to war with Germany when he flagrantly disregarded that guarantee.

Cooper’s next egregious error was to blame Operation Barbarossa on Hitler’s perception of a threat from Stalin, or a Soviet plan to capture Romanian oilfields, completely ignoring the genuine reason, which was the Nazi demand for Lebensraum—”living space” in Eastern Europe, especially in Belarus and Ukraine. One wonders whether Cooper has ever read Mein Kampf, in which Hitler’s ultimate intentions were made plain. Elsewhere in the interview he makes the outlandish claim that Hitler “no longer thought of Russia as an international Communist movement,” which contradicts all the evidence of Hitler’s public and private statements prior to unleashing Barbarossa.

Cooper next claimed that the millions of Soviet prisoners of war who died in German captivity did so because the Nazi leadership “had no plans for POWs,” ignoring the obvious fact, well supported by the sources, that in fact the deaths of millions of Soviet POWs were the deliberate Nazi plan for what to do with them.

Cooper goes on to castigate Churchill for not accepting Hitler’s peace proposals during the Phoney War from October 1939 to May 1940, stating that Hitler “didn’t want to fight France or Britain.” Yet by then he had invaded Poland, and had no intention of disgorging it, so the original casus bellum remained.

“The war was over and the Germans won by the fall of 1940,” Cooper states. Not so. The Germans had indeed forced the British from the Continent at Dunkirk by June 1940, but it is to Churchill’s everlasting and untarnishable glory that he kept Britain in the war until Nazi evil was extirpated. The war at sea was continuing, as was the war on the North African littoral. Greece came into the conflict in April 1941, drawing German forces south two months before Barbarossa. The battle was lost by Britain, true, but the war was far from won by Hitler.

Cooper’s wailing that Churchill rejected Hitler’s peace offers also fails to take into account the fact that had Britain made an ignoble peace in 1940, Hitler would have been able to concentrate all his forces on the East in his invasion of Russia in June 1941. Instead, he was forced to keep 30 percent of the Luftwaffe and considerable land forces in the western part of Europe. It was perhaps Churchill’s greatest act of statesmanship, that of a hero rather than “the chief villain of World War II.”

When Cooper blames Churchill for “demonizing [Neville] Chamberlain” in 1940, he is presumably ignorant of the fact that Churchill in fact asked Chamberlain to join his War Cabinet, where he worked closely and cordially with him, and then gave one of his greatest speeches as his eulogy to Chamberlain in November 1940.

“Churchill wanted a war,” claimed Cooper. “He wanted to fight Germany.” Not so. From the moment Hitler came to power in Germany, Churchill warned of the threat the Nazis posed to world peace, and how weak the West was militarily, but his solution was to rearm, not to monger war. He had fought in the trenches in the Great War and had lost too many friends in it to want another war, but he was willing to undergo it if the only alternatives were disgrace and dishonor.

Cooper then alleged, again without any evidence, that Churchill wanted war because “the long-term interests of the British Empire were threatened by the rise of a power like Germany.” Again, not so. All senior British policymakers recognized that the threats to the Empire came from Japan in the Far East, Fascist Italy in northeast Africa, and Russia in the Near East. Germany had no contiguous borders with the British Empire anywhere. A glance at a map would have shown Cooper that.

Cooper gave what Carlson called “the wryest smile I’ve ever seen” when he answered Carlson’s naïve question as to “What was [Churchill]’s motive?” in wanting to fight World War II. The true reason was that Churchill knew he needed to extirpate Nazism, but according to Cooper it was because “Churchill’s got a long and complicated history” that needed “redemption” because “Churchill was humiliated by his performance in the First World War.”

This ludicrous piece of cod psychology simply does not stand up. Churchill’s performance in World War I included being the man who got the Royal Navy ready for the war, who transported the entire British Expeditionary Force to France without the loss of a man in August 1914, who defended Antwerp during a crucial period that October, who undertook 30 trench raids in no man’s land as a lieutenant colonel, and who was the minister of munitions who provided the British Army with much of the weaponry necessary to win in 1918. The idea that the Gallipoli disaster, for which Churchill was ultimately though not solely responsible, made him feel a need for “redemption” a quarter of a century later is hogwash.

Cooper then describes Churchill as “a psychopath,” which surely says more about his own state of mind than Churchill’s. He goes on to make the accusation that Churchill “was a drunk,” which he was not, although he certainly drank a lot. Churchill could hold his liquor, and there was only one occasion during World War II when he was drunk, an astonishing achievement considering the pressure he was under.

I’ve not the vaguest clue what could have possessed Tucker the C to have this assclown on for an interview and treat with him as if he were actually a sane, sensible sort whose ahistorical revisionism was worth taking at all seriously, but I very much hope he gets over whatever it is and starts to feel better real soon.

Perhaps the single most crotch-chafing aspect of this spectacular, wide-spectrum self-beclownment—the Platonic ideal of what political pundits are talking about when they call some foolishness or other an “unforced error”—is the smear-fodder it hands, gratis, to salivating shitlibs, who will assuredly not let any moss grow on them before jumping in with both feet to take fullest advantage of the golden opportunity gratuitously provided them by Tucker, his out-there interviewee, and likeminded Jewphobic nitwits.

Not that I, you, or anybody else gives a fat rat’s patoot about what those “people” think, about anything. But still. To wit:

The shameful Nazi apologism of the Very Online right
Tucker Carlson’s chat with Darryl Cooper was a new low for the crank right.

Forget that toothless crackhead who says he had sex with Barack Obama. Never mind the lowlife pimp who cosplays as a lifestyle guru, Andrew Tate. This week Tucker Carlson scraped even lower in the barrel of cranks to find a guest for his chat show on X. He had on Darryl Cooper, a historian, podcaster and – wait for it – apologist for Adolf Hitler. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve now reached the ‘Were the Nazis really the bad guys?’ stage of contrarian online blather.

Tucker’s chat with Cooper has caused a storm. As well it might. Also known as ‘Martyr Made’, Mr Cooper is a notorious historical revisionist. He has huge beef with Winston Churchill. Churchill, not Hitler, was the true villain of the Second World War, he says. He’s a giddy promoter of the myth that Hitler made a peace offer in 1940 but Churchill rejected it and insisted on plunging the world into war. Hitler the peacenik – who saw that coming down the pipeline of online bollocks?

What Cooper told Carlson was insane. Churchill was a ‘psychopath’ kept in power by Zionist interests, he said. As for all those poor Jews in the camps – they ‘ended up dead’ because the stretched Nazis lacked the time and resources to care for them, he insisted. Depicting the Nazis’ industrialised slaughter of the Jews of Europe as an accident, just a sad, regrettable byproduct of their being too busy, is sick. It’s a species of Holocaust denial. That Carlson nodded along to such rancid revisionism is shameful.

For the true measure of Cooper, consider what he said in a recent post on X, since deleted. Paris under the Nazis, he tweeted, was ‘infinitely preferable in virtually every way’ to the Paris of the Olympics opening ceremony. To drive home his fascistic point, he put a photo of Hitler and his henchmen surveying the spoils of Paris next to a screenshot of that plump drag queen who formed the centrepiece of the Last Supper pisstake at the opening ceremony. Look, I hated the opening ceremony, but – I can’t believe this needs to be said – Paris of 2024 is preferable in every way to the Paris that was conquered by the marauding inhuman racists of the Nazi regime. This is where we’re at, folks: having to explain that a drag queen on your TV is less bad than a Jew-murdering machine taking over your country.

And this, mind, not from a wild-eyed Leftard, but the more-or-less moderate Brandon O’Neill.

Be that as it may, the inexplicable Carlson/Cooper lovefest suggests a question or three. Namely: Have the asswipes both Left and Right really dragged Western Civ to the point where it must only be one or the other? That—Roosevelt, Churchill, and presumably De Gaulle having been stricken from eligibility in the “heroes” category because the (Not) Smart Set has re-evaluated them as WW2’s Worst Monsters—we’re reduced to a binary choice between either Hitler or *gulp* Stalin? Either it’s Nazi thugs marching or Manwoman degenerates prancing down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, no in-between option to be found anywhere along that wide, history-steeped thoroughfare? SRSLY, people?!?

Thanks a pantload for this stellar contribution to the public discourse, Tucker. New category for annoying twaddle such as this: Dem pesky ((((JOOOOOOOZ!!!))))

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The Axis of Prestige

Dead on point, and a hilarious analogy.

Some of you may be wondering why the entire bureaucratic caste of the USA is completely obsessed with weird sex stuff. 

Sure, we can all have good fun ranting about how insane this cult is, and watching them melt down when we leave skid marks on their sacred icons, but sooner or later, you gotta ask… why.

It’s the toaster-fucker problem. Some of you may be familiar. Goes like this, and I quote:

I blame the internet. Back in the days before it, we had to learn to live with those around us, now you can just go out and find someone as equally stupid as yourself.

I call it the toaster fucker problem. Man wakes up in 1980, tells his friends “I want to fuck a toaster” Friends quite rightly berate and laugh at him, guy deals with it, maybe gets some therapy and goes on a bit better adjusted.

Guy in 2021 tells his friends that he wants to fuck a toaster, gets laughed at, immediately jumps on facebook and finds “Toaster Fucker Support group” where he reads that he’s actually oppressed and he needs to cut out everyone around him and should only listen to his fellow toaster fuckers.

Apply this analogy to literally any insular bubble, it applies as equally to /r/thedonald as it does to the emaciated Che Guevara larpers that cry thinking about ringing their favourite pizza place.

But the toaster fucker problem doesn’t stop there. 

Because every social group has an axis of prestige. They have to compete with each other for status somehow. That’s what humans do. 

And in the toaster-fucking group, the axis of prestige aligns with fucking toasters. 

So first they compete to see who can fuck the most toasters. 

Then, when that is saturated, they one up each other by being most open with the general public about their toaster fucking ways. 

Then they make toaster-fucker pride t-shirts and hats and bumper stickers. 

Then they move on to bragging about how they sneak into other people’s kitchens and fuck their toasters, too, and swap tips for how to introduce kids to the joys of toaster-fucking. 

But it doesn’t stop there, either. 

Pretty soon normal people, who ten years before would shrugged and said “that’s weird”, are now sick of toaster-fucker flags everywhere and their kids being told to fuck toasters by sickos, and now they’re going to burn every toaster-fucker flag they see, and Florida just passed a law requiring you to be 21 years old with proof of ID to buy a toaster. And Utah has banned toasters altogether and the Mormons have stopped even eating toast, bagels, waffles, or any other heated bread product. 

But it doesn’t stop there, either.

And, incredible as it may seem to saner sorts, it doesn’t. It really, really doesn’t.

(Via Bayou Peter)

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Open mouth, insert…foot, this time

Gee, Willie Brown’s dick, her own foot, gallons of cheap vodka daily—as my Grandma used to pointedly inquire whenever she heard somebody cuss (besides herself, natch): you kiss your Mama with that mouth, Kumala?

As Vice President, I have had the privilege of visiting Arlington National Cemetery several times. It is a solemn place; a place where we come together to honor American heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service of this nation.

It is not a place for politics.

And yet, as was reported this week, Donald Trump’s team chose to film a video there, resulting in an altercation with cemetery staff. Let me be clear: the former president disrespected sacred ground, all for the sake of a political stunt.

This is nothing new from Donald Trump. This is a man who has called our fallen service members “suckers” and “losers” and disparaged Medal of Honor recipients. 

A man who, during a previous visit to the cemetery, reportedly said of fallen service members, “I don’t get it. What was in it for them?”

This is a man who is unable to comprehend anything other than service to himself. 

If there is one thing on which we as Americans can all agree, it is that our veterans, military families, and service members should be honored, never disparaged, and treated with nothing less than our highest respect and gratitude. 

And it is my belief that someone who cannot meet this simple, sacred duty should never again stand behind the seal of the President of the United States of America.

I will always honor the service and sacrifice of all of America’s fallen heroes, who made the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of our beloved nation and our cherished freedoms. I mourn them and salute them. And I will never politicize them.

That’s the entirety of Kumala’s ill-advised “Show more” Tweet, to which the response has been…erm, unfortunate, for her at any rate. For starters:


OW, that smarts! And then there’s this:

Oh, Kamala, what have you done? In a move that was scummy even for her, Kamala Harris had the audacity to attack Donald Trump for appearing at the memorial for service members who died at Abbey Gate in Afghanistan. And, by extension, she attacked the Gold Star families who invited him to be there.

Keep in mind the only reason they’re Gold Star families is because Kamala Harris and Joe Biden botched the withdrawal from Afghanistan and got their loved ones killed.

Now those families are responding:

And how. Follows, scads upon scads of stinging video denunciation from said families, which is a joy and a wonder to behold. For us, that is, not for her; not a-tall, in fact. No wonder the stupid, drunk-ass ho’ is so reluctant to be interviewed, debate the opposition candidate (or anybody else) honestly and fairly, or otherwise speak in public any more than she absolutely, positively must. My God, the woman makes even Dotard Jaux Bribem look like a gentleman and a scholar, which is really saying something.

One last excellent riposte I almost forgot to include:


I repeat: OW! Also: YIKES!!

Update! Senator Tom Cotton gets the last truly epic word.

You might think that would be the end of the story. After all, how do you keep pushing a false story that has even been rebuked by the very families involved who lost their loved ones due to Harris’ incompetence? The press took that as a challenge, though, and when Welker faced off against Cotton on Sunday morning, she told an inexcusable lie as she desperately tried to defend the vice president.

WELKER: The bottom line, I guess, though, senator, is it ever appropriate to make campaign content at military grave sites?

COTTON: He didn’t take campaign photos there. These families, Gold Star families, whose children died due to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’s incompetence, invited him to the cemetery, and they asked him to take those photos because as they told me yesterday when I spoke to Kelly Barnett and Darren Hoover, the parents of Taylor Hoover, who has Arkansas ties, they don’t get to go to the beach on Labor Day. They don’t get to have BBQs. This is their one chance to have a memory of their children to commemorate their service and to honor their sacrifice. They wanted President Trump there, they wanted to take those photos.

You know who those families also invited? Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Where were they? Joe Biden was sitting at a beach. Kamala Harris was sitting at her mansion in Washington, DC. She was four miles away. Ten minutes. She could’ve gone to the cemetery and honor the sacrifice of those young men and women, but she hasn’t. She never has spoken to them or taken a meeting with them.

WELKER: Well, they did meet with them during the dignified transfer. They were with them during the dignified transfer.

COTTON: It is because of her and Joe Biden’s incompetence that those 13 Americans were killed in Afghanistan.

Cotton’s takedown of Welker’s talking points is perfect, not because of some impressive political prowess, but because it’s the truth. The claim that Trump made “campaign content” at Arlington National Cemetery is simply false. None of the pictures with the family have been used in ads or placed in a political context by the Trump campaign. He was there at the behest of the Gold Star families. Given their children died defending this country, I think they have a right to snap a few pictures if they’d like.

This game has long been played (by the) left and the federal bureaucracy. When John McCain took some video of him walking among the gravestones, the press attacked him for it. When Barack Obama and Joe Biden did the same thing (including Biden being pictured in Section 60), no one said a word. No (D)NC official came running out telling them to put the cameras away while accusing them of breaking the rules. Let a Republican show up to honor the fallen though, and suddenly it’s a scandal. The entire thing is so transparent.

What Welker did at the end of that exchange is just inexcusable, though. Cotton specifically said Harris has never spoken to or met with the Abbey Gate Gold Star families, and the anchor jumps in to insist “they” (as in both Biden and Harris) were at the dignified transfer. Kamala Harris was not there, and every attempt by the families to connect with her since has been rebuffed. Biden was there, but he infamously checked his watch multiple times.

The rush by these hack journalists to defend Harris has them now telling outright lies on national television.

Ummm…now, Bonch? Been a good bit longer than that, I’m afraid.

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Another Biden fuckup

Or lie, take your pick.


Yeah, sure you will, Jaux. Or Kumala, or whichever flunky wrote that twaddle for ya, rather.

Right-wing idiots to wax hysterical claiming the IDF executed the hostages themselves rather than our blameless, peaceful, helpless Hamas friends and “natural allies” in 3…2…1…

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Land of the….let’s see now, how’d that line go again?

Sorta bookends the aforementioned Eyrie outing, seems to me, albeit in a small, petty way.

This is when you fight city hall

MINOR QUIBBLE: Actually, that woulda been about forty-fitty years ago if you ask me. Not that you did, of course.

There’s an old saying about how you can’t fight city hall. I’ve always rejected it, in part because I’ve seen too many people do so successfully, but one has to understand that local governments can be particularly malicious when going after those who criticize it.

I, personally, had a number of suspicious run-ins with local code enforcement officers after I started taking issue with the local government here, for example.

But one woman is getting some help from FIRE after her fight with city hall got out of hand.

Legal help is reportedly on the way for an Arizona resident arrested for criticizing her city government during a public meeting last week.

On Monday, the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE), a First Amendment advocacy group, indicated plans to sue the city of Surprise after its mayor had local activist Rebekah Massie detained for scrutinizing a city employee during the locality’s Aug. 20 City Council meeting.

“The First Amendment protects every American’s right to criticize public officials,” FIRE Attorney Conor Fitzpatrick said in a statement given to The Federalist. “The last thing people should fear when they go to a city council meeting to make their voice heard is leaving in handcuffs.”

During her testimony, Massie “questioned the city attorney’s performance and compensation,” according to The Arizona Republic, before being stopped by Mayor Skip Hall, who accused her of “attacking the city attorney personally” and violating rules governing public meetings.

Massie called the guidelines “unconstitutional” and alleged that by refusing to allow her to speak freely, Hall was “violating” her “First Amendment rights.”

Hall subsequently threatened to have Massie removed if she did not cease her criticisms. Following a short back-and-forth with Massie, Hall asked an attending police officer to remove her from the meeting.

Now, understand that Massie was clearly taking issue with the city attorney as pertains to his role as city attorney. There was no personal attack. The city is funneling a ton of money toward an attorney that Massie, as a citizen, thinks exceeds what is warranted.

When you work for a city, your pay is public and people are free to opine over that.

For Massie to be arrested because she attacked his performance as a taxpayer-paid attorney is beyond ridiculous. It’s vile.

I’m glad FIRE is coming to help her.

As am I, although I must confess myself utterly appalled that there’s any need for such assistance in the first place. Much more from Knighton at the link, every last word of which commentary is spot on.

This story is about as revolting, maddening, and beggaring of belief as it gets. Arrested, cuffed, and hauled out physically for…confronting her local-yokel overlords during the public-comment period of a public meeting, no less. More from Rob Zimmerman of Beyond The Black, a top-notch blog which has heretofore been inexplicably absent from Ye Aulde CF Blogrolle—an unpardonable lapse which will be duly addressed anon.

Today’s blacklisted American: Woman arrested in Arizona for publicly criticizing a public employee
They’re coming for you next: While making a public comment criticizing the town’s attorney at the local city council meeting for Surprise in Arizona, Rebekah Massie was ordered to either shut up or be arrested by the town’s mayor, Skip Hall, because the council does not allow citizens to make such criticisms during the public comment period.

When she had the audacity to note quite correctly that she was entirely within her first amendment rights to say whatever she wanted, Hall then had her arrested.

I have embedded the video of this event below. It is egregious beyond words.

Ain’t it, though. Ain’t it just. Onwards.

As Massie states, her right to speak and say whatever she wants has been repeatedly confirmed by Supreme Court rulings. When Hall reads to the council’s rules against any such criticism during public comments, she responds, “That’s all fine and good, but that’s a violation of my first amendment rights.” When he claims she agreed to these rules she repeats, “It is unconstitutional.” His response illustrates his complete ignorance of and contempt for the law and our basic rights under the Bill of Rights, “It’s not unconstitutional.”

When still Massie refuses to be silenced Hall orders her to be removed. When she refuses to leave she is then violently arrested. Hall claimed she was resisting, but Massie later explained, she was “not resisting, my daughter is here, I don’t know what’s going on, you say I’m being detained, but I don’t know what for.”

Massie has an extremely strong case for suing Hall and the entire city council of Surprise for a lot of money. Her arrest was unnecessary for her to win and was probably a mistake on her part, but it makes no difference. The city council’s rule forbidding any criticism of any city employee is absurdly unconstitutional, and to use it to silence Massie makes Hall and that city council very liable for damages.

Zimmerman helpfully provides a photo of and contact info for the execrable thug Hall, which I heartily encourage one and all to make best use of. I will not hector you folks as to the tone, language, or politesse of any such missive, because doing so would certify me as just about the biggest fake, phony fraud (thank you, Bob Grant!) in all of human history. As CF Lifers know by now, that simply ain’t the way I roll; never has been, never gonna be.

Let Mayor Fuckface have it full blast, with both barrels and two (2) reloads of buckshot, sayeth moi. Inarguably, the bipedal rectal polyp has earned that and a whole heck of a lot worse. As have all too many power-drunk ProPols across our beleaugered land, vanity and megalomania have turned his head entirely; he’s gotten way out over the tips of his skis, and badly needs to be—nay, MUST be—put in his place, at soonest.

Around these parts, a perennial head-scratcher going all the way back to the excruciating and interminable Senate tenure of Juanny Mav McStain has been: Exactly what the actual fuck is wrong with Arizona, anydamnedway? Sad to see that the question remains every bit as germane as ever it was.

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Eyrie up!

I discontinued these announcements a goodish while back, primarily just to find out if the Eyrie adjunct would be able to stand on its own without further promotion from hereabouts. But tonight’s edition discusses a topic I feel important enough, enraging enough, alarming enough to resurrect the grand old Eyrie Up tradition just this once. The piece centers on a Mark Steyn column which is downright chilling as regards both the damning details and the larger implications. A small taste:

In June, in the Northern District of California, something rather unusual happened: the defendants actually beat the rap. They were two British subjects – Mike Lynch and Stephen Chamberlain, respectively the founder and finance honcho of a UK company called Autonomy. In 2018 the dirty stinkin’ rotten corrupt US Department of Justice had indicted the pair for “conspiracy” and “fraud” over the company’s sale to Hewlett Packard – and, after some protracted Julian Assange-like extradition jousting, the two were put on a ‘plane to America and placed under house arrest.

And then on June 6th a San Francisco jury found Lynch and Chamberlain not guilty of all charges. On July 28th, back in Britain, Mr Lynch gave his first interview about his ordeal:

Cleared UK tech tycoon feared he would die in US jail if convicted

Less than a month later, he is dead. To celebrate his acquittal, he took a party of friends and family (including his trial attorney Christopher Morvillo) on a Mediterranean cruise, and on Monday his luxury yacht sank off Sicily.

Must be pretty sad for his co-defendant, right?

Well, no. Because he’s dead too. On Saturday Stephen Robinson went for his morning run in Cambridgeshire and, six miles into it, was hit by a car. He was pronounced dead on Monday – the same day Mike Lynch died.

Do check out the whole sordid story, folks, it really is quite something.

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Another American icon bites the big Woke one

Gonna be a lot of serious re-thinking going on in American bikerdom thanks to this revoltin’ development.

Woke Harley-Davidson CEO Compares Himself to the Taliban
A Harley-Davidson rider can be almost anyone, from an actual Hell’s Angel to your kids’ orthodontist. While the company has had its ups and downs, the bikes have long been an American icon for riders with “a passion for the motorcycle lifestyle, valuing freedom, adventure, and camaraderie,” according to marketing experts Keegan-Edwards.

There’s an image that goes along with the iconic bikes, and although I hardly need to tell you what it is, I will.

That image is: “Islamic terrorist.”

Wait…wut?

In a video just made infamous on Wednesday by Robby Starbuck, Harley-Davidson president, CEO, and Chairman Jochen Zeitz says he became the “Taliban” when he became a board member and says his job is to “take on capitalism and redefine it.”

“It’s important that we create new leadership,” Zeitz said, “that we get others to join a new thinking of a more sustainable business, of a better business that is more equitable in every respect. Socially, environmentally, and financially.”

(For what it’s worth, German-born Zeitz came to Harley from luxury goods company Kering, where he chaired the Sustainability Committee.) 

Customers have noticed Harley’s descent into wokeism since Zeitz came on board in 2020, but comparing his role to the Taliban must count as a new low.

Indeed so. I never thought I’d see the day, and fervently hoped never to. Actually, it never occurred to me that such a thing was even possible. But sad as it is, deeply as it pains me to have to say it, I can only agree with this guy’s assessment.


Pathetic. Dismaying. Maddening. Sickening. Infuriating. William Harley, Arthur and Walter Davidson, the great Jay Springsteen, Chocolate George, Billy “Chains” Flamont, and Sonny Barger are all rolling in their graves like a Shovelhead stroker crank assembly at 6k revs. In their eternal disquiet, they shan’t want for old-school-biker company.

I pray to Almighty God that the Wokester wreckers and despoilers will someday be made to pay for their vile predation, their iniquitous disrespect, their illimitable arrogance, and their callow gormlessness. In at least one way, the usurpers and besmirchers of the proud Harley-Davidson legacy almost certainly will pay ere the end, as Stephen goes on to explain.

David “Iowahawk” Burge, a man who knows more about American car culture than almost anyone else you’re likely to meet, just called it the “Possibly single most hilarious corporate self-immolation of all time.”

It is. And yet I’ve reached the point where I’m not sure I can laugh over the destruction of yet another American icon.

Your typical Harley buyer is going to become like your typical Bud Light buyer: increasingly scarce, driven away by a brand whose management despises them and their values.

I’m forced to conclude that when Zeitz says he’s going to change Harley-Davidson “in a sustainable way,” he means he thinks he can milk the company for several years before the loss of market value and brand cachet forces the board to kick his can to the curb.

It’d be nice to think so, perhaps, but I very much doubt that’s how the story will end. Far more likely, I think, that the Motor Company succumbs finally to the Wokester mind virus, goes out of business, and is forever lost except in the fond reminiscences of people like me.

H-D has very nearly gone under a good few times over its well over a century of sometimes precarious existence. How Kafka-esque it is, then, that after having somehow managed to stay afloat through so many trials and tribulations—WW2; Korea; Vietnam; the late-60s/early-70s calculated flooding of the US motorcycle market by cheap imports from Japan’s Big Four (Hon-duh, Kawasucki, Sudookey, Yammahammablamma); the ginned-up fuel “crisis” of the mid/late 70s; the rise of Safety Naziism in the 80s; the slow strangulation of individual liberty, independent-mindedness, and the quintessentially American spirit of rowdiness, defiance, and devil-may-care ebullience; the crippling effects of economic mismanagement, FederalGovCo meddling, and general malfeasance under D卐M☭CRAT regimes—it should be PC/Woke/Leftardism that ends up killing Harley off once and for all.

Update! Just remembered: for anyone interested in further perambulations from li’l ol’ moi on the Motor Company’s serially abusive, exploitative, and/or contemptuous relationship with its most loyal customers, check it, yo:

I love Harleys. I hate Harley-Davidson. That seems to be the consensus among old-school biker types these days, and they just might have themselves a point, too.

The Motor Company has always had its problems keeping its hardcore fan base happy. It seems to have a special talent for stepping on its own crank and pissing off (or on) the very people who did the most to make it the institution it is today. Ever since I’ve been riding H-D’s (since ‘82), I’ve heard complaint after complaint, and seen the Powers That Be at H-D making the sort of bonehead moves, again and again, that regularly generate those complaints like some sort of whacked-out fuckup factory.

What the hell could they have been thinking when they decided to sue independent bike shops that used “hog” or some variation thereof in their shop name? I’m sure most of you remember that one. It ain’t as if Harley thought that “hog” business up themselves, after all. But they sure were willing enough to glom onto the idea—and then have their slickee-boy lawyers claim it as their very own private property.

That’s the opening ‘graphs from one of my Leatherballs columns—the very first of ‘em, in fact—for the now-defunct Outlaw Biker rag, the rest of which column can be read here. Last time I checked, which I admit has been a minute, the Compleat Leatherballs Archives are exclusively available here at Ye Aulde CF Blogge and absolutely noplace else, seeing as how the OB site went the way of the diplodocus some years back.

I confess to being right proud of the work I produced under the Leatherballs nom de villein, every ounce as much as I am of my twenty-plus years of award-winning, justly (in)famous creative genius at this palatial websty, so I think it only meet and just that the LB catalog should at last find its Forever Home rat cheer at CF. Do check ‘em out if you haven’t yet; even if

  1. You’ve never slung a leg over a leaky, squeaky, shaky, flaky ol’ Gnarley-D in your life
  2. Have not even a tiny, inoffensive, easily-concealable tattoo
  3. Don’t own any H-D dealership T shirts, engineer boots, chain-wallets, or black leather jackets
  4. Don’t drink beer, chase loose women, participate enthusiastically in barroom brawls, and/or have never spent so much as a minute behind bars

…and ain’t about to subject yourself to any of those things at this late stage of the game, I think you’ll find the Leatherballs experience a highly enjoyable ride anyhoo.

Updated update! Just a few more thoughts on the topic I seem to have wandered off to: namely, the Harley-Davidson Motor Company’s perennially-contentious relationship with its core customer base.

For starters, it must be noted that, until the advent of what we hardcores, ironbutts, and/or scooter trash dubbed the RUBbies (ie, Rich Urban Bikers, mimicking the once-ubiquitous “Yuppie” (Young Urban Professional) moniker), long-haired, bearded, burly Hog jockeys were usually welcomed at licensed H-D dealerships with open arms. Most of the folks who owned, managed, wrenched, manned the parts counter or paint shop, or what have you were dedicated, serious riders themselves; as such, they didn’t have a problem with biker trash, even patchholders, habituating their dealerships, whether buying parts or apparel, checking out the new Harleys on the showroom floor, or just hanging out with other bikers to socialize and shoot the breeze.

Growing up on Jap dirt bikes as a child, then graduating to the street with a Kawasaki LTD 550, I had always been intimidated, sometimes even a little bit afraid, of those big, bad, smelly, dangerous Harley outlaw-biker types. And the one constant throughout my entire life has been this bizarre attraction to put myself right in the middle of any situation, company, or environment I was scared of. It was like a compulsion, really. That being the case, being a-skeered of them biker ruffians and all, what else could I do but start spending my Saturday afternoons at the long-gone H-D of CLT shop on S Tryon Street?

To my astonishment and lasting delight, those big, gruff-talking outlaws were without exception some of the friendliest, warmest, most big-hearted people I ever have met. They took this 19 year old, wet-behind-ears shavetail in like a long-lost brother or son, encouraging my interest, offering to help work on or wash my Kawasaki, telling road stories, just generally making the newb feel welcome and entirely at home.

About two years or so of hanging around and establishing my rightful place among Harley enthusiasts, I bought my first Harley: a 1983 Sportster XLH (for nonitiates, an XL prefix=Sportster; FX=Super Glide, Wide Glide, Disc Glide, Lowrider, etc; FL=full-on Hog of fame and legend). It marked the beginning of my lifelong love affair with the smaller, leaner, more nimble sibling to the Big Twins. And incredibly enough, I continued to find the bikers I was meeting more and more of to be unfailingly friendly, outgoing, and quite mellow. In fact, several of the friends I made back then remain close, dear friends to this very day; I just missed a call from one of them, my brother Dean, due to my being in the can taking a whiz. I’ll call him back tomorrow, no worries.

In sum, then, the antagonistic attitude, the officiousness and contempt, wasn’t something I ever encountered at dealerships, independent shops, or bars catering to those scary biker thugs. Except one: an H-D dealership in upstate Virginia, only a mile or thereabouts from I-81 near the West By God Virginia line. The name of the ‘burgh whence this asshole enclave got its name I won’t mention here; the account of that misadventure is recounted in full here. But yeah, trust me on this: assholes, every man in that sorry excuse for a Harley shop was a pluperfect asshole.

Years later, I was told by folks from the area who would know whereof they spoke that I didn’t catch the dealership assholes on an off day; according to these people, the staff of this dealership was renowned for being snotty, obnoxious, and unhelpful. I was informed that, should I ever find myself in similar straits in that locality in future, there was a really cool independent H-D shop not far away on the other side of the I-81 overpass, a small, honest establishment which had nary an asshole, prick, or douchenozzle on the payroll.

I’ve had neither dealings with nor friends at the Motor Company itself, in any of its manufacturing facilities, warehouses, or administrative offices, at any level. What I DO have, though, is several friends who operate or did operate independent Harley shops here in CLT, in ATL, in North Myrtle Beach SC, and in Brooklyn—hell, as I’ve mentioned lots of times here, I spent more than a few years working in a CLT shop owned and operated by my close friend Goose. And those shop-owners and employees have given me a real earful about HDMC’s vicious, adversarial approach towards them.

As I related in the last-linked Leatherballs essay above, their relationships with the H-D knobs consisted entirely of threats, lawsuits, and legal, written, and verbal harassment. I never will forget the day Goose spent a good fifteen-twenty minutes enduring a barely-coherent harangue demanding that Goose posthaste and forthwith remove H-D’s fabled bar & shield artwork from our sign or face consequences most dire. Goose just sat there holding the phone out from his ear snickering quietly to himself until he’d gotten tired of it, whereupon he cut in to calmly and collectedly inform the frothing ass-clown that, y’know, thanks for your concern and all, but the fact of the matter is our shop doesn’t even HAVE a sign, never has had, much less any bar-and-shield logo painted, etched, engraved, or embossed thereon.

Goose slammed the receiver down onto its cradle, and we both proceeded to laugh ourselves sick at the ludicrous H-D dweeb, after which interlude we put the shop Rottweiler in his crate, locked the doors, and walked up the hill to the diner to grab lunch, still laughing all the way HA HA HA HA!

Out of, what, four (five?) proprietors of two-or-three-man independent shops in the CLT area I know well (lemmesee now; threre’s Dean-O, Smiley, Ben, Max, Eyeball, and Country Earl, so six), every one of them called us over the next few days to warn us of the impending telephonic onslaught from H-D’s rep in the York, PA Sporty assembly plant, informing us they’d had the exact same hostile long-distance interaction that exact same week as we two incarcerees of dear old McElhattan’s Machine & Rod had enjoyed, probably with that exact same besuited H-D numbskull, all concluding the exact same way: a thunderous hangup, a moment’s stupefaction over what the blue-black blazing hell THAT was supposed to be, followed by prolonged paroxysms of rib-cracking hilarity. For months afterward all any of us had to say to put the others on the floor rolling, kicking, and crying for mercy, was to launch into his best Goose impersonation: “But…but…but sir, our shop doesn’t even HAVE a sign! Not ANY!!!”

Remember, now, these independent businesses were the very people who had kept Harley going through the nightmare days of the AMF (Annoying Manufacturing Flaw) regency extending from 1969 to 1985, during which Harley’s manufacturing and assembly plants were auto-afflicted by a whopping 50% factory defect rate—which, translated from the book-keeperese, means every other Harley-Davidson motorcycle built and shipped to dealerships was a fucked-up piece of utter, hopeless shite. Your pardon, please: a fucked-up piece of utter, hopeless, EXPENSIVE shite.

Notwithstanding the unpleasant realities, the diehards hung in there with Harley-D, put up with the wallet-exsanguinating cost of parts and labor to get the overpriced lemone Harley had saddled them with running again, whereupon it would break down for the fifty-hundredth time that summer, be re-loaded into the pickup, and go back to the shop for yet another extended stay while the riding-season days ticked agonizingly by. As this soap opera continues, the payment to H-D Motor Credit continues to come due the first of each and every month.

I’m glad I wasn’t a Harley owner back then. If I had been, the urge to just throw up my hands and say fuck it, call the credit agency to please please pretty please come haul this overpriced, chrome-bedecked boat anchor off for repossession, thus freeing me to go buy the rice-grinding Honda I wish I’da bought in the first muhhfuggin’ place would’ve been crushing, totally overpowering.

“Ride With Pride”? Yeh, sure; pride is kinda hard to maintain when you spend more time pushing than riding, unfortunately. “I’d rather push my Harley than ride Jap crap”? In the AMF era, that oath would be put to the sorest of tests. “Better a sister in a whorehouse than a brother on a Honda?” Better ask your sister how she feels about it before you make a firm commitment to anything, bub.

Hey, I got a million of ‘em, ladies and germs. Be sure to try the chicken cacciatore, it’s so delicious it’d make your sweet old mammina weep from pure joy. I’ll be here all week folks, do come back for tomorrow night’s show. Of all the classic bumper sticker lines about Harleys, though, my personal favorite was, is, and forever shall remain: “H-D actually stands for Hound Dog, because they both love riding around in the back of pickup trucks and they both leave puddles where they ain’t supposed to.”

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Ain’t that America

Welcome to Thunderdome.


Anybody who knows anything at all about paintball guns and ammo knows that those little suckers hurt like a brass-plated bitch, leave one hell of a Technicolor bruise, and are entirely capable of inflicting serious, permanent injury should one catch a round in the face, eye, or throat. As such, I consider it a scandal and a shame that nobody returned fire at the Minneapolistan Geheime Staatspolizei—and I do NOT mean with paintball guns, neither. Far as I’m concerned, there should’ve been lead-poisoned cops lying all over the street within moments after those filthy pigs opened the ball.

On innocent people guilty of nothing more, mind, than sitting out on their own front porch bothering, threatening, encroaching on, and/or harming nary a soul, in any conceivable manner.

Perhaps most sobering of all is that we’re only hearing about this state-sanctioned brutality now, four years after it occurred. Have Americans become so anesthetized, so complacent, so docile that wanton assault by marauding bands of brigands-with-badges can pass them blandly by without igniting a firestorm of public outrage, vilification, and howls for justice in its wake? FORBID IT, ALMIGHTY GOD!

The detestable Command Master Chief First Top Bird Colonel DELTA Force Power Ranger Sergeant of the US Army Gov Tampon Tim AWOLz shouldn’t get a pass for his part in this atrocity, of course, but he’s a Communist idiot so one doesn’t really expect much better from the twatwaffle. The thug cops, on the other hand, knew damned well that what they were doing was immoral, unlawful, reprehensible, and completely over the top, yet they did it anyway—and seemed to enjoy themselves tremendously, if the vid is any indication.

We DO expect better from the “Protect and Serve” boys, and are perfectly entitled to; in fact, we not only should, but must. Every last man Jack of these vicious schweinhunden ought to be identified, hunted down, and punished unsparingly for this outrage.

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Liar, coward, Blue Falcon

All you really need to know about VP candidate designate/select Brigadier LT GEN Tim “A-hole” AWOLz.

Eh, natzofast there, John. Actually, as I understand it, it was NOT his “right” to “retire early.” His contractual service commitment was not due to expire until 2007, but when word came down in late 2005 that his cannon-cocker unit would soon be deploying to Iraq, he summarily dropped out—after shitting himself in sheer terror, of course. After cleaning his drawers he decided to become a professional D卐M☭CRAT politician, which requires one to lie continuously, about anything and everything, which Gov AWOLz clearly has no problem with. At the same time he summarily decided, on his own (nonexistent) authority, that his fledgling career as a scum-sucking ProPol would be helped along enormously if he retained his brevet rank as Command Master Chief First Top Bird Colonel DELTA Force Power Ranger Sergeant of the US Army indefinitely, even though he was neither empowered nor entitled to do so.

So he did. And the rest, as they say, is history. Y’know, like America That Was, umm, is.

Tim “A-hole” AWOLz as Vice President? Sure, why the hell not. After all, it’s not as if we haven’t already thoroughly disgraced ourselves before a watching world anyway, now is it? In the famous words of America’s First Female “President,” what difference, at this point, does it make?

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"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

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Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums

FREEDOM!!!

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."
Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
Bill Whittle

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