MUAHAHAHAHA! – Page 3

Well, well, well, well, WELL

Posted on December 16, 2023December 16, 2023 by Mike

Now we know why they’re so desperately trying to get him locked up and out of sight, on whatever flimsy pretext they can conjure.

Trump has the declassified Russiagate files

That’s what this has been all about from Day One https://t.co/Wh4Xhz9emL

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec)

December 15, 2023

Update! Screengrab of the Poso Tweet, in case it doesn’t show up properly for ya above.

“Raising alarms among intel officials.” Yeah, I just bet it did at that, the fucking pond scum. Heartfelt apologies to any gobs of green slime afloat on small bodies of water who might take offense at the comparison.

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Poetic justice strikes again

Posted on December 11, 2023December 11, 2023 by Mike

Horrible, shocking, terrible, UNEXPECTED!

Fully Vaccinated and Boosted Piers Morgan Tests Positive for COVID-19 — Blames “Anti-Vaxx” for Catching the Virus
British television personality Piers Morgan has contracted COVID-19 despite being fully vaccinated and receiving a booster shot two years ago.

The hypocritical host of “Uncensored” announced the news via Twitter, expressed his frustration, and blamed the ‘anti-vaccination’ community for his infection.

The 58-year-old host shared a photo of his positive lateral flow test on Twitter, along with a candid description of his condition: “as rough as a badger’s a***.”

There’s only one way I can adequately express my emotional response to reading this sad, distressing news.

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Too bad, so sad

Posted on December 10, 2023December 10, 2023 by Mike

The heart, it bleeds.

Dylan Mulvaney Suffers Total Embarrassment at Penn State
The “transgender influencer” who destroyed Bud Light is back, and this time he’s speaking on college campuses. Let’s just say that endeavor isn’t going any better than Mulvaney’s excursion into the beer industry.

According to The Daily Mail, Mulvaney was set to charge $40,000 a pop to show up and give speeches on college campuses. Whether Penn State (or whoever on campus brought him in) paid that much isn’t known, but what is certain is that whatever he paid was too much. Take a look at how many people showed up, or rather, didn’t show up.

The room Mulvaney was given holds somewhere around 1,000 people. To say the crowd missed the mark would be an understatement. There might be a hundred people there, and that’s probably being generous. Given this is the quality of what transpired, can you blame people for not showing up?

So, more of that “genocide” we’ve been hearing so much about lately, then.

Why do major brands give this guy money? What value is he providing? What customers are buying a product because they saw that Dylan Mulvaney endorses it? It’s astonishing to me that any marketing department would be dumb to pay him to do brand placement for them. The only thing I can figure is that it’s an easy way to get a company’s ESG score up.

Clearly, aside from being a target for mockery, there isn’t much actual interest in Mulvaney. Student-aged individuals are supposed to be his core audience, and no one is showing up to see him. Imagine being the person who wrote the check for that speech only to see him prance around in a cheerleader outfit for a few dozen people. How many homeless people could have been fed? How many Christmas presents could have been bought for foster children?

You miss the point, which is that you will be made to care—and endorse, and support, and stand up and applaud with utmost enthusiasm. Y’know, OR ELSE.

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New meme

Posted on December 8, 2023December 9, 2023 by Mike

Spent all damned evening working this one up to my satisfaction, but I think you meme-lover miscreants in the CF Lifer ranks will agree it was worth the effort.

Still haven’t figured out how to do a stroke-outline on text in that damned Gimp software, but oh well. Layer and/or object alignment is another Gimp mystery that gives me hissy fits, although tonight I DID figure out how to do straight (kinda-sorta-somewhat) lines via the “shift” key after some bootless mucking about with the “path” tool, there being no “line” or “custom shapes” tool available therein. No way to nudge objects a pixel or two at a time with the arrow keys either, or if there is I haven’t managed to find it yet.

All in all, what can I say. I feel like I’m slowly but surely getting better with the Gimp; I’m grateful the Gimp is there, mind, and the price is certainly right, but I am and likely ever shall remain a Photoshop guy in my coal-black heart. Back when I was working at the magazines we had to use Illustrator to do front covers and suchlike, with interior page-layouts assembled using InDesign, which I actually liked a lot better than Quark anyhoo. Still, for designing the ads (my main job) I sneaked back over to P-shop every time I could get by with it, rather than endure another agonizing, interminable slog through Illy. P-shop is what I cut my graphic-design teeth on many years ago: it’s what I’m used to, I understand and am entirely comfortable with it, and I’m far too old a dog to be learning much in the way of new tricks now, alas.

DISCLAIMER: Shrub’s half-assed moose-tache was not my doing; that and the odd halo were already in place when I scooped the image off Luxxle, so I refuse to shoulder any of the blame for it. I just DL’d the image, cropped/scaled it a little to fit the space, and pasted it in without further undue fuss. The other two sloppily-drawn nutdusters, on Tricky Dick and Ronnie the Great, I admit my guilt freely. No need to adorn Pedo Peter with a ’stache, since the Hellfire-and-brimstone backdrop and Too Old Jaux’s angry gesticulating make the point well enough already, I felt.

Any fellow Persons Of Blogge out there who are given to running these pitchers-with-funny-words thingamajiggers—Pete, I’m looking at you, buddy—may feel free to run the above creation to your heart’s content with my blessing and humble thanks. I credited myself at the bottom right, as you can see, so don’t feel obligated to go to any such trouble your own self.

Heh. Alzhitler. I’ll say it again: I slay me. A-HENH!

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Follow the money (laundering) trail

Posted on December 6, 2023December 6, 2023 by Mike

Has the wholly corrupt Biden Crime Famiglia finally gotten its collective dick caught in a blender?

Hunter Biden got staggering $4.9M from ‘sugar brother’ Kevin Morris: IRS whistleblower
WASHINGTON — Hunter Biden received a whopping $4.9 million from Hollywood lawyer Kevin Morris in a three-year period, according to an IRS agent who investigated the president’s son for alleged tax evasion.

The revelation signifies a substantial increase in the known amount that Hunter, 53, got from his so-called “sugar brother” after the men reportedly met for the first time at a December 2019 campaign fundraiser.

IRS agent Joseph Ziegler shared the jaw-dropping figure and additional documentation Tuesday with the House Ways and Means Committee in a follow-up appearance as House Republicans near an expected vote to authorize an impeachment inquiry into President Biden for his alleged role in his family’s foreign dealings.

As part of his Tuesday testimony, Ziegler provided legislators an email showing that as early as Feb. 7, 2020 — two months after they met — Morris was contacting accountants on Hunter’s behalf and warning them to work quickly to avoid “considerable risk personally and politically.”

Ziegler, who investigated Hunter’s taxes for five years before he was removed from the case this year, said the first son’s income from Morris — at least some of it deemed loans — resembled Hunter’s practice of trying to avoid paying taxes on other income by describing it as loans.

“Loans.” I like that one. Man, even when it comes to bribery and influence-peddling the Bidens are fucking incompetent boobs. You’d think with a solid five decades of experience in the field, they’d be a lot better at it than this. And you’d be dead wrong, too.

Ziegler and the rest of his investigative unit were removed from the tax fraud case targeting Hunter, allegedly on Justice Department orders, in May after Ziegler joined his supervisor Gary Shapley in publicly alleging a cover-up involving preferential treatment for the first family.

Because of COURSE they were. Because a hastily-arranged cover up is precisely what it was, as everyone with even half a lick of sense and integrity damned well knows.

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Can’t get enough of that Donald Trump stuff

Posted on December 1, 2023December 1, 2023 by Mike

Wayne Root submits an increasingly pertinent question.

How Did Trump Become Superman, Batman, Elvis & the Beatles Rolled into One?
Trump isn’t just winning big in America…he’s spreading!

A Trump clone (Javier Milei) was just elected as President of Argentina. A Trump clone (Geert Wilders) was just elected as the leader of Netherlands. A Trump clone (Conor McGregor) is the new nationalist hero of Ireland, defending the Irish people from foreign invasion- and he may also become the next Prime Minister.

A Trump clone was even elected Mayor of Charleston, South Carolina this week- the first Republican elected since 1877.

You’ve heard the song, “I’m turning Japanese, I really think so.” Well, the new hit single is “The whole world is turning Trump, I really think so.” Everywhere in America and all over the world, Trump is spreading.

Did you see President Trump entering the arena for UFC two weeks ago? It was one of the most amazing, exhilarating sports entrances ever. 20,000 fans went insane screaming for Trump. It was like the Beatles arriving in America in 1964.

Did you see President Trump entering the football stadium last Saturday for the South Carolina-Clemson college football game? When Trump walked into the stadium the crowd was even more hysterical than the UFC crowd. It was like they were witnessing Elvis return from the dead. 80,000 fans went wild for Trump- screaming his name and chanting “USA, USA, USA.” It was literally one of the most exciting scenes in sports history.

Keep in mind this wasn’t a political convention. These weren’t Republicans. This was a mainstream football game. And the audience was mostly college students. No politician in U.S. history has ever elicited a reaction like this.

Trump is no longer a man. He is a superhero to a vast swath of America.

Polls confirm that something special is happening. Trump is beating Biden in virtually every poll at Real Clear Politics. Trump is winning in every battleground state. Trump is winning among youth. Trump is leading among minority men. And if Trump is winning the popular vote, that means he’s winning an electoral landslide.

This is happening while Trump is under four federal and state indictments, facing 91 felony counts, and over 700 years in prison.

Trump is doing the best in polls in history. In all the years since he came down the escalator in 2015, Trump has rarely led in polls, anywhere.

Trump voters are always under-counted in polls. That’s why Trump was always trailing Hillary in 2016. Yet Trump won. Trump was always trailing Biden throughout 2019 and 2020- nationally and in most battleground states. Yet Trump added 12 million new votes. He got the most votes of any sitting president in history.

We all know Trump won the 2020 election. Democrats had to rig and cheat with fake mail-in ballots in six key battleground states to overcome huge Trump leads on Election Night that would have given Trump an electoral landslide.

But now for the first time in history, Trump is winning in every poll.

How dramatically have things changed? Trump was just endorsed by a co-Founder of BLM.

How did Trump go from supposedly “unpopular” “washed up” and “the GOP’s past” to superhero, Superman, Batman, Elvis and the Beatles rolled into one, while under nonstop criminal indictment? The answers are simple…

Follows, a rundown of those answers, which are indeed simple enough. But in the end, they all boil down to just one:

Thank you, Democrats. You built this Trump superhero.

Heh. Credit the DC Swamp malefactors and their Woke Corporate Amerika Inc criminal co-conspirators with an assist, but…pretty much, yeppers. You just know that’s gotta smart a bit, and it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of assholes if you ask me.

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Break out the Jiffy Pop, everybody!

Posted on November 29, 2023November 29, 2023 by Mike

Stupid-ass Leftard nigger shits, falls back in it.

Deadspin reporter blasted by mom of young Kansas City Chiefs fan he falsely shamed for wearing ‘blackface’: ‘He is Native American’
The mother of a young football fan who wore a headdress and painted his face red and black to a Kansas City Chiefs game has blasted Deadspin for accusing him of “doubling up” on racism against black and Native communities — noting that her son is himself Native American.

Holden Armenta became an unexpected focus of an article by senior writer Carron Phillips that focused on a photo of the boy standing sideways, suggesting he was wearing blackface with no mention of the red side.

“The NFL needs to speak out against the Kansas City Chiefs fan in Black face, Native headdress,” read the headline, which accused the boy of “doubling up on the racism.”

Phillips, a former New York Daily News reporter, also slammed Holden’s Native American headdress and his “Tomahawk Chop” gesture, claiming the boy “found a way to hate Black people and Native Americans at the same time.”

“It takes a lot to disrespect two groups of people at once,” Phillips wrote in the article, which has since been tagged with a community note on X branding it “purposely deceiving.”

No link to Phillips’ original hit-job here, because fuck that noise.

The boy’s outraged mother, Shannon Armenta, shared numerous images of her son getting a warm reception at the game — while suggesting Deadspin focused on a photo that hid the fact that half her son’s face was painted red.

“This has nothing to do with the NFL,” she wrote, suggesting the photo was picked purely “to create division”

“He is Native American — just stop already,” she wrote of her son.

In fact, Holden’s grandfather, Raul Armenta, sits on the board of the Chumash Tribe in Santa Ynez, California, according to the Post Millennial.

Raul is listed as a “business committee member” who was first elected to the board in 2016 on the tribe’s website.

Oooooops. Sorry, Karen, no bonus PC points for you, I’m afraid. Deadspin’s token darkie’s spectacular self-beclownment notwithstanding, shitlibs are rallying behind their latest Courageously Courageous Hero™ by doubling down on dumbass, to the surprise of precisely zero (0) sane, sensible humans.

“The right picked this up and said, ‘Sue Deadspin, bankrupt Deadspin.’ And I can’t help but laugh at the center of this, I can’t help but laugh at the idea that they want them sued for one racism, while the kid is still in full racist garb,” Le Batard said. “The only part of him that’s not intentionally, kind of, racist is the black part! The rest is team colors and he’s going for just being a fan, but the racism is already in there, just not the kind the right is picking up and flogging Deadspin with over a five-year-old kid. Like, the stupidity of this is remarkable.”

Unsurprisingly, Le Batard’s take ruffled some feathers, especially at Outkick, where Bobby Burack authored a post titled “Update: Dan Le Batard defends Deadspin for lying about Chiefs kid wearing Blackface.” The post, which suggested the kid in question’s family could sue Le Batard, would have been ridiculous enough considering the Meadowlark Media co-founder wasn’t defending Deadspin so much as he was mocking the right’s outrage despite his belief that the costume was still racist in nature. But that was before Burack took to social media to produce the a “gotcha” moment: a picture of Le Batard wearing black and red face paint while dressed as the professional wrestler Kane.

Lawsuits all around, I’m thinking, which hopefully will at the very least bankrupt Deadspin, thereby depriving Karen Phillips of gainful employment and forcing him into a field of endeavor more suited to his abilities, such as cleaning hotel rooms or manning a drive-thru window in Keokuk or something.

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T’was the night before Christmas

Posted on November 28, 2023November 28, 2023 by Mike

And thru the White House
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a louse

An Alt Christmas Carol
The White House, Christmas Eve, 2023. Imagine the painfully lugubrious scene….

“Joe Biden” rattles around in the upstairs “residence” like a BB in a packing crate. Nobody is around besides a few secret service agents, so still at their posts they might as well be statuary. The Big Guy is all alone. His spouse, Dr. Jill, had enough of pretend caretaking quite a while ago, and flew off to Oprah’s place in Santa Barbara for counseling and commiseration. Hunter is Gawd-knows-where doing Gawd-knows-what.

“JB” shuffles out of the residence kitchen, where he just demolished a half gallon of Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream® ice cream, against his doctor’s orders. His gall bladder writhes in revolt, sending a distress signal up the vagus nerve to the shriveled hypothalamus in his brain. A jumbled fugue of emotions — rage, fear, sexual arousal — quickens his step as he navigates by dead reckoning to the executive bedroom where he hurries to bed and falls into leaden slumber — only to be awakened by a cacophony of ringing bells. His eyelids roll open like shades in the windows of a skid row hotel room. Plangent moaning resounds as a mist emerges through the bedroom door and resolves into a mysterious figure garbed in the raiment of the Ku Klux Klan.

“Joe Biden” shrinks under the luxury Boll & Branch signature duvet— acquired when the agriculture minister of Ukraine slipped him an envelope stuffed with 100 hryvnia notes. The spirit wails something that resembles the old Confederate anthem Eatin’ Goober Peas.

“Who are you spirit?” the quaking president asks.

“Why, I am your old pard from the Senate,” the ghost of Robert Byrd declares, removing the pointed hood to reveal his leonine head of hair and scowling face. “Why have you thrown our sacred borders wide open, suh? I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels.”

“Y-y-you don’t uh-uh-understand,” “JB” says, his childhood stutter returning. “They are muh-muh-migrants from oppression and vuh-vuh-very fine people.”

“Fine people, my ass,” the former Senator from West Virginia cries and clears the dust of the sepulcher from his throat. “I will send three spirits to you this night as a review of what has been and what shall become, so beware….” And with that the spirit returns to mist and slips back out through the keyhole…

“Joe Biden” is shocked from slumber again as an attractive blond female ghost floats through the bedroom window.

“Don’t I know you?” he asks.

“Cad! That is the very line you used to pick me up on spring break in Nassau, 1966,” says “JB’s” first wife, Neilia Hunter. “Shall I show you the meretricious spectacle you made of our family after that truck driver on Limestone Road ended my life and your little daughter’s too!”

“No-o-o-o-o,” the president moans, but is magically transported to the Wilmington Hospital room where his banged-up boys, Beau and Hunter, are recovering from their injuries. A TV crew is present as “JB” emotes for the camera, a cruel victim of fate, he blubbers, who will yet conquer his grief and go on to forty years of electoral victories and the sedulous gathering of tribute from “donors” far and wide to soften the blow of his loss. The room dims…

Read on for the other spirit visitations: second being the martyred Saint George of Fentanyl, complete with Neegrow dialect deftly translated from the original ghetto-ese, representing the Ghost Of Christmas Present; Christmas Yet To Come I’ll leave unnamed so as not to spoil the surprise for ya, but take my word for it, t’is a consummation devoutly to be wished. Kunstler uncorks his by no means inconsiderable writerly chops and lets ‘em really soar in this one, and it’s a joy and a wonder to behold.

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Is the tide turning at long, long last?

Posted on November 22, 2023November 23, 2023 by Mike

Could be, could be. Via Zero Hedge:

It might be time to connect the dots…

Italy Meloni win
Germany AfD win
Spain Vox win
Argentina Milei win
Netherlands PVV win

*socialism rain check.

— Lawrence McDonald (@Convertbond)

November 22, 2023

If only Argentina and Netherlands had perfected mail in ballots, none of this would have happened. https://t.co/A6a9wHZ8pY

— zerohedge (@zerohedge)

November 22, 2023

Heh. Indeed. The anguish of shitlibs the world over brought on by these revoltin’ developments was best expressed by Whittier: Of all sad words of tongue and pen/The saddest are these, “It might have been.” From where I sit, Geert Wilders’ win in the Netherlands may not turn out to be quite the “landslide” being proclaimed by exultant right-wingers—the numbers are from those notorious exit polls, and Wilder has called for a coalition-government with the liberal-Left VVD—but it’s still a damned good start anyway; verily, the Progtard wailing comes as sweet music to mine ears. As Tyler Durden commends to our attention, it’s not as if the media propagandists will ever back down:

Just remember folks, it’s not the will of the people reflected at the ballot box, it’s the “far right” winning a “shock victory.”

An old truism holds that in this world, the only constant is change. Then again, some things never do. We shall see.

Update! That off-the-chain hairdo ain’t the only reason you just gotta love the guy.

MileiNeedNotRight

Bang, zoom, to the moon with ye, libtards! Thanks to our boozum bud Concerned American for sending this one along.

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Happy belated birthday to Pedo Peter!

Posted on November 21, 2023November 21, 2023 by Mike

Now kindly drop dead already, you addle-pated old crook.

Joe Biden’s 81st Birthday Cake Was the Perfect Metaphor for Our Country
Did you know that it was Joe Biden’s 81st birthday on Monday? Because it was Joe Biden’s 81st birthday on Monday. He turned 81 years old—a fairly common occurrence for someone who was born 81 years ago.

Did I mention he turned 81 years old? Because he did, in fact, turn 81 years old. Of course, as PJ Media previously reported, the White House didn’t exactly want to call attention to the fact that Joe Biden is 81 years old, because Americans aren’t exactly comfortable with his advanced age and want him to call it quits and let someone else seek the Democratic nomination. As such, none of the social media accounts connected to the White House or Joe Biden mentioned his 81st birthday on Monday until the evening, when fewer people are paying attention. If the evening news was hoping for an 81st birthday photo op to report on, they didn’t get it in time.

And boy, what a mistake that was.

But what really got me about the photo was how familiar the cake was. Did you notice? It wasn’t just that the 81 candles looked like they were going to burn down the White House, but there was an undeniable resemblance between the cake and something that makes it the perfect metaphor for our country:

Well, @JoeBiden’s 81st birthday cake sure does look familiar. pic.twitter.com/I98Bo7hT3J

— Matt Margolis (@mattmargolis)

November 21, 2023

As soon as I made this connection, I couldn’t unsee it. Joe Biden’s birthday cake resembled a dumpster fire, and how perfect is that for Joe Biden, considering what he’s done to this country in just a few short years? Of course, there are a variety of fire metaphors that could work, but I think the dumpster fire is the most spot-on. I’m not sure who thought putting 81 candles on such a small cake was a great idea, but I’d be willing to bet there was some debate over whether a raging inferno was politically safer than a cake with two candles reading “81.” In the end, they clearly figured the cake requiring a fire extinguisher was the way to go, which tells you exactly how much the White House public relations team understands that Joe Biden’s advanced age is a problem. I suspect they figured it was literally worth the risk of setting the White House ablaze rather than publishing a photo with Biden in front of a cake with candles reading “81.”

Heh. There’s another humorous angle to the photo which Matt doesn’t touch on here—apart from the obvious Reichstag fire one, I mean—but Steve Miller helpfully did.

My guy is literally safely sitting down in a chair and is still gripping the table corners like he’s about to fall over, break a hip and die pic.twitter.com/8XYBZ33H1o

— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze)

November 21, 2023

Thanks to Ed for the steer to that last.

Update! Jacked from WRSA. Thanks!

AmericanTurkey

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A little good news

Posted on November 13, 2023November 13, 2023 by Mike

Contra the self-obsessed blubbing of shitlib idiot and sportsball also-ran Megan Rapinoe, God is real, and He’s laughing His almighty ass off.

Guest Column: God Here. Megan Rapinoe’s Career-Ending Injury Is Proof That I’m Real.
I thought it would be hilarious, and it was.

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN—Hey, folks. God here. I’m writing in response to recent comments from Megan Rapinoe, a human female best known for playing the so-called sport of soccer, or “Satan’s Folly” as we call it up here.

Rapinoe invoked my name on Saturday after injuring her Achilles tendon in the opening minutes of the National Women’s Soccer League Championship. It was the final game of her professional career.

“I’m not a religious person or anything and if there was a God, like, this is proof that there isn’t,” Rapinoe told the demonic cretins you call journalists during the post-game press conference. “This is f—ed up. It’s just f—ed up. Six minutes in and I eat my Achilles.”

LOL!

I knew this would happen, obviously, but that doesn’t make it any less hilarious. The last game of Rapinoe’s career—the league championship, no less—and she injures herself immediately then has to watch her team lose from the sidelines. I’m still laughing about it.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I technically “created” Rapinoe and “love” her the same as all my “children,” even the ones who deny my existence. Even the ones who worship Satan and play soccer, to the extent there is a difference.

Nevertheless, I think we can all agree Megan Rapinoe is an obnoxious shrew who had it coming. Right? I’m willing to forgive almost anything, but one thing I simply can’t abide is disrespect for my country, the United States of America. Just ask Gabe Kapler or Colin Kaepernick.

Did I take it too far? Maybe. When the U.S. women’s soccer team protested the National Anthem during the World Cup earlier this year, I made sure they were humiliated by Sweden, an inferior country. I engineered it so Rapinoe, playing in her final World Cup, would contribute to the loss by whiffing a penalty kick, one of the easiest shots ever invented in the history of sports.

“That’s like a sick joke,” Rapinoe said after the crushing defeat. It sure was. “Sick” as in awesome.

Heh. Seconded from here below, dearest Lord. Many humble thanks for checking in and keeping Your obedient, devoted children hip to the Heavenly haps like this.

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FINALLY!

Posted on November 13, 2023 by Mike

The Nazis take London.

80 Years After Hitler Failed, Nazis Finally Seize London
LONDON — Eighty years after Hitler’s failure, the Nazis have at last seized London.

“Hitler’s dream has finally come true,” said John MacDonald, watching as Picadilly was overrun with Nazis. “You just know that somewhere, Hitler is looking on today and smiling.”

As chants of “Death To Jews” and “Final Solution” rang through the London air, longtime Nazi leader Josef Schmidt was overwhelmed with joy. “After so many decades of being an outcast here in Britain, to now watch Nazis march through the heart of London yelling ‘Gas the Jews’ – well, it brings a tear to your eye,” said Mr. Schmidt. “I’ve had to hide my swastika flag for years, but no more! We’re going out for a triumphant walk right by Buckingham Palace.”

At publishing time, the London mayor was warning the Jewish community to refrain from engaging in hateful Naziphobia.

As of presstime, probably but not necessarily owing to his having died years ago, Brit fascist irritant Oswald Mosley was unavailable for comment. And, just to make it more difficult than it already was to discern whether the Bee is in fact satire, there’s this…

Newsom Deploys Giant Can Of Febreze Over San Francisco To Mask Poo Smell
“Come on, people! We’ve got to hide the aroma of dookie,” Newsom was heard shouting at city workers. “It’s fine for the city to reek of excrement under normal circumstances when it’s only Americans walking around trying to live their lives, but when a communist authoritarian comes to town, we don’t want him stepping off his plane and being greeted with a strong whiff of caca.”

The Chinese president was scheduled to arrive in the Golden Gate City today ahead of next week’s important U.S.-China summit with President Joe Biden. With much riding on the meeting of two of the world’s superpowers, Newsom wanted steps taken to address the city’s problems with cleanliness and its homeless population. “Governor Newsom wanted us to come up with a final solution to the homeless problem,” said one San Francisco official who asked to remain anonymous. “With that in mind, we’ve started rounding up all the homeless people so they can be concentrated in specially designated camps. We even transported them with their piles of poop so they will still feel at home.”

At publishing time, the giant can of Febreze was being positioned to begin spraying a wide radius across the city, with many residents secretly hoping the city’s areas densely populated with deodorant-resistant hobos would take a heavy dousing.

Parody? Reality? Is there really any difference anymore?

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Happy Memorial Day!

Posted on November 12, 2023 by Mike

As ever, Pedo Pete is a bit confused.

Biden suffers ANOTHER embarrassing gaffe as he stumbles through Veterans Day service and appears to get lost while laying a wreath

Biden appeared confused at Arlington National Ceremony to mark Veterans Day

The president, 80, needed stage directions after laying a ceremonial wreath

In his remarks, Biden said ‘war and conflict’ are ‘part of the American story’

Biden was joined at Arlington National Cemetary by Harris, First Lady Jill Biden and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff to celebrate the armed services.

Speaking before members of the Armed Forces and Gold Star families, Biden began: ‘Here in Arlington lie heroes who gave what President Lincoln called ‘the last full measure of devotion.’

‘They did not only die at Gettysburg or in Flanders Field on the beaches of Normandy, but in the mountains of Afghanistan, the deserts of Iraq in the last 20 years.

‘Hundreds of graves are here from recent conflicts. Hundreds of patriots gave their all, each of them leaving behind a family who live with their pain and their absence every single day.’

He added that veterans are the ‘steel spine of this nation’, and recounted famous battles that saw soldiers ‘linked in a chain of honor that stretches back to our founding days.’

‘This Memorial Day, we honor their legacy and their sacrifice, duty, honor to their country.’

Saturday’s service was the 70th annual National Veterans Day Observance at Arlington, and followed a private reception in the White House East Room for veterans and military officials.

What a sad, sorry joke this senile old kleptocrat is, was, and shall remain.

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Practical advice

Posted on November 11, 2023 by Mike

Now THIS is news you can really use.

9 Ways To Scare Off Californians Looking To Move Into Your Neighborhood
Wait a minute, is that young couple looking for a home in your neighborhood from California? You better get them out of here pronto before they turn your beautiful state into a socialist cesspool! If you don’t, you’ll both have to look for a new state to move to in about ten years after they bring their California politics with them.

These are the absolute best ways to scare off a Californian:

Smile and wave at them: Californians hate this! They might even be killed in the process.

Offer them sweet tea: They will instantly become diabetic just by looking at a full pitcher of Southern-style Sweet Tea. As an added bonus, the polite gesture will also scare them (see above).

Show off a cool gun you’re packing: They will freak out even though this is only one of the guns you are packing. The others aren’t as cool, sadly.

Ask them where they are going to church immediately after meeting them for the first time: It’s normal to do that where you’re from, but this question is basically kryptonite to a Californian.

Invite them to your church this Sunday: (Same as above)

Show them your house and the several acres you live on: Their brains literally can not comprehend the idea that a family of four isn’t crammed into a tiny studio apartment. It will seem icky and wrong to them for it to be any other way.

Point out how many houses in town have American flags: Once they notice this little detail, they will react like vampires to the sun coming up at dawn.

Start talking about what they can expect when winter rolls around: They are only used to one season that lasts all year round and you may need to explain the concept of winter several times before the horror for them really sets in.

Show off your Trump 2020 and 2024 bumper stickers: This is sure to send them back to California in absolute terror.

Helpful, effective, to the point, indisputably true and reliable—is it any wonder the shitlib “mainstream” media hates the Bee so much?

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Sticker shock

Posted on November 3, 2023 by Mike

Just another nail in the EV coffin.

The true cost of an EV? Think tank claims subsidies for electric vehicles cost $50,000 PER CAR over a ten-year period
The true cost of electric cars to the average American taxpayer has been laid bare by a landmark new study into the eco vehicles.

In order to bring EVs to market, governments have created a variety of tax incentives for buyers and manufacturers. They have also sponsored the development of the infrastructure needed to charge them.

But those subsidies can come at a cost to taxpayers, buyers of gas vehicles or simply households that pay electricity bills.

A new paper by conservative think tank Texas Public Policy Foundation estimated that the average electric car incurs hidden costs of $48,698 over a 10-year period.

‘Electric vehicle owners have been the beneficiaries of regulatory credits, subsidies, and socialized infrastructure costs totaling nearly $50,000 per EV,’ said one of its authors, Jason Isaac.

eparately, it found that the infrastructure required to facilitate electric cars in America is not paid for directly by the owner of the car. It described those expenses as ‘socialized infrastructure costs.’

‘Home and public charging stations used by EVs put a significant strain on the electric grid, resulting in an average of $11,833 in socialized costs per EV over 10 years, which are shouldered by utility ratepayers and taxpayers,’ read the paper.

The authors argued that the gasoline infrastructure is used for other products and society at large, whereas electric vehicle charging costs currently only serve EV owners.

They also claimed that the additional strain placed on the power grid when charging electric cars would ordinarily incur ‘demand charges’ – or a premium for higher energy consumption at a certain time.

‘Currently, most utilities are socializing that cost for EV owners by not assessing demand charges on residential EV chargers, even though those chargers can use as much power at certain times as several homes,’ the report claimed.

Right up until the useless Wokester toy blows up and burns the house to cinders and ash.

So let’s see, now:

Random explosions;
Random deadly fires;
Hours wasted searching for and/or sitting in long, slow charging-station queues;
Yet more hours wasted “refueling” enough to at least maybe make it back home;
Unsatisfactory, grossly-exaggerated range;
Ruinously expensive battery replacement;
Total reliance on those horrible, horrible coal-fired power plants;
Drastically-shortened tire, hub-bearing, suspension, brake, and/or steering-component life due to the vehicle’s excessive weight;
Exorbitant towing charges when the PoS boat-anchor leaves you stranded;
Inability to enjoy battery-exsanguinating ”luxury” accessories including but not limited to heat, defrost, A/C, stereo, wipers, &c;
Ditto for carrying passengers;
Ditto for hauling loads or towing even a lightweight trailer with your electric pickup truck;
Don’t EVER touch ANYTHING under the hood or attempt to fix anything yourself, OR YOU MAY DIE

OOH-OOH-OOH I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE!

What the heck, whoever said virtue-signaling came cheap, right? Them’s the breaks. All of which I’d be okay with; hey, if smug, self-righteous Enviro-nut assholes don’t mind paying through the nose to establish their presumed moral-superiority bona-fides, well then you just have at it, fools. Unfortunately, though, we ALL get to pay for their dubious “privilege” right along with ‘em. To wit:

But the largest cost identified by the report was that on buyers of gas cars.

According to the paper, around 16 states have ‘zero emission vehicle’ (ZEV) mandates whereby the state sets a number or percentage of new vehicles sold that must be zero-emission.

‘Of course, the cost to meet these mandates is not limited to the states that impose them but spread out over the entire fleet of each automaker trying to meet them,’ read the paper.

On top of that, federal regulations impose similar obligations on automakers that incentivize them to make more electric vehicles.

‘The largest source of financial support for EVs comes not from direct subsidies but from hidden costs driven by federal regulations,’ read the paper.

‘The Biden administration’s stringent fuel economy standards and regulatory manipulations are driving American automakers toward bankruptcy and adding thousands of dollars to the cost of every gasoline vehicle,’ said Brent Bennett, another of the paper’s authors.

Just this month, Ford said during its third quarter earnings call that it lost an estimated $36,000 on each electric car it sold in the quarter.

Well, whaddya know about that: look closely enough, dig down far enough, and we learn that, of course and as always, the real problem has its roots deep within the bowels of the meddlesome, authoritarian Leviathan-state. Quelle surprise, that.

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