THEMES, forsooth!

After further problems cropped up last night with the Techozoic theme I’ve spent way too much time trying to make work, I finally gave the whole mess up as a lost cause and implemented the trusty Coop-O-Ween theme a bit earlier than I usually would. That ain’t necessarily a bad thing, I don’t think, and I hope y’all CF Lifers will agree. After that: the highly-anticipated return of dear old Scrooge Picard, a holiday favorite.

With that, guess what’s playing even now on the classical-music radio station? Just this: the theme song “Walking In The Air” from the Brit rip-off of Frosty the Snowman, The Snowman. Coinkydink? I think NOT!


More theme hijinks

Barry has informed me that we now have some commenting issues with the previous theme, instigating an early changeover to the old Coop-O-Ween one, which now seems to have issues with displaying the sidebar widgets. Working on that now, expect hilarity to ensue. Testing, testing, one, two, three…

Continue reading “More theme hijinks”

The CF Fall Begathon is back, baby!

For many years, I did two fundraisers per annum here, one in the Spring and one in the Fall. I fell off that wagon a few years back, and haven’t really thought much about it since, seeing as how the fine, fine folks at Hosting Matters up and cut me a seriously sweet deal on hosting after I’d repeatedly gotten into serious arrears with them.

Alas, now that I’m without any real income other than the pitiful few shekels brought in by this h’yar blog and the Eyrie, I find myself forced to reinstate the Fall fundie at least; renewal of the domain name is coming up soon, and I’m ashamed to say that I’m broke as a joke and without other prospects.

That being the case, then, I must with great regret extend the battered tin cup in y’all’s direction and beg for alms. The donation links are at the top of the blog, as you’ve no doubt noticed; I ditched PayPal a while back, although my account with them is still active. Offensive an imposition as it no doubt is, I’ll affix this post up top for the remainder of the month; don’t know what that will mean for the Donnybrook post, having two designated “sticky” posts up there. We’ll see how it goes.

Update! Hey hey hey, the two-sticky-post thing seems to be working just fine. Looks like the old dog just learned hisself a new trick.

Hail Mary update! Since response to the Fall Begathon so far has fallen what you might call way short of overwhelming, in desperation I’ve reinstated the PayPal donation links both above and in the sidebar. Hit ‘em early, hit ‘em often. My thanks to the readers in advance.

Goin’ down for the last time update! Last day for the Fall Begathon will be tomorrow, the 30th; I’ll be renouncing this post’s “sticky” status sometime on Sunday, after which it’ll sink down out of the way, something I know y’all will be as happy about as I admit I’m a-gonna be. If nothing else, a lot of pain-in-the-ass scrolling will be eliminated thereby. So we got that going for us, anyhow.

My sincerest and most humble thanks to all of you who paved your way to Heaven with good intentions via parting with a little of your hard-earned gelt to help out the World’s Greatest One-Legged Blogger in his time of direst need. As always, I remain awed and grateful by/for the generosity of my readers, in terms of both financial considerations and your kind attention.

The total take this time out was a good bit less than that of Begathons past here, which usually only ran for a week or two. Not that I’m complaining, mind, not a bit of it. In these, the days of the Biden Economic MIRACLE!™, such hardship is only to be expected. Things are pretty tough out there nowadays for just about everybody, no matter what Praetorian Media wants us all to believe. And hey, in the lean times every little bit helps, right? Right.

And now, the confession even a blind man coulda seen coming, given the title of this h’yar update: The main point here, gang, was really to provide me with an excuse (as if any were needed) to repost one of the verymost classics of the classic-rock oeuvre. Hell no, I ain’t ashamed of this cheap little subterfuge of mine; I’m PROUD of it, dammit! Why do you ask?

What a great tune that is. Funnily enough, out of all the who-knows-how-many bands I’ve shared stages with over the years–including several top-line classic rock acts such as BTO and Blue Oyster Cult as well as latter-day small-fry types who covered the music of the original masters–I cannot for the life of me recall ever seeing a single band attempt that Head East nugget in their set. Dunno, must be that cheeseball synthesizer line, which is absolutely vital to the song. Or those tight, crisp vocal harmonies, maybe—which, y’know, ditto.


Kick out the JAMS

Okay, since the Tik-Tok video worked out nicely, let’s find out how YewToob fares.

Cooool, dude.

That’s the mighty Fu Manchu, king of the stoner-rock bands. I tremendously dig how hard they work a groove consisting entirely of one (1) chord, going from a seemingly mild, almost bland intro, building up the tension until by the fadeout my neck hurts from violently thrashing my head as if I had any hair to be tossing. A bio bit on the boys:

Fu Manchu is an American stoner rock band, formed in Orange County in 1985. The band underwent multiple lineup changes throughout the 80s and 90s, but has remained consistent since 2001. The band currently consists of founding guitarist turned lead vocalist Scott Hill, bassist Brad Davis, lead guitarist Bob Balch and drummer Scott Reeder.

Fu Manchu have been long associated with the Palm Desert Scene, alongside bands such as Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss and Mondo Generator. Monster Riff has described the band as “one of the most loved and revered…bands in the stoner rock world.”

Indeed, and deservedly so too. But what is this “stoner rock” of which I speak, you ask? Oh, just this:

Stoner rock is typically slow-to-mid tempo and features a heavily distorted, groove-laden bass-heavy sound, melodic vocals, and “retro” production. Due to the similarities between stoner and sludge metal, there is often a crossover between the two genres. This hybrid has traits of both styles, but generally lacks stoner metal’s laid back atmosphere and its usage of psychedelia.

For my money, Monster Magnet and Fu Manchu represent the tippy-top of the stoner-rock heap. An amalgamation of late-60s/early-70s hard rock a la DPurp, Sabbath, Zep, and Hawkwind, cranked up to 11 by the breakneck intensity of late-70s/early-80s punk—really, what’s there for a guy like me not to like here? Next up, my all-time fav-o-rite Fu Manchu tune.

One could be forgiven for not expecting subtlety from the above description of the genre they’re working in, and maybe one would be right at that. But take careful note of how, after using a choppy staccato throughout the first verses, the bassist transitions during the guitar solo to a pounding, single-note legato throb. Meanwhile, the vocalist begins the breakdown section in a conversational near-whisper, working up an octave until he’s reached a frantic bellow. The drummer swaps out his high-hat for the ride, then starts in wailing on the crash cymbal like it just stole his girlfriend. The lead guitar wraps the party up with a series of vicious, bent-string squalls.

All that doesn’t come together by accident, y’know; while it may not be what Frank Sinatra would think of as subtle, it’s subtle enough for rock and roll.

Theme switcher implemented!

I gotta tell ya, this WordPress software, for all I’ve commiserated with other blogger friends of mine about certain decidedly unlikeable aspects of it, is one hell of a piece of blogware. Remember how last night I mentioned, in the throes of exhaustion and eyeball-ache, that I’d need to find a way to offer a Desktop/Mobile choice since this new-to-me theme I’m using was utter shite when viewed in my Android browser?

WELL. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy: all’s I had to do was install a theme-switcher plugin—of which there are dozens available out there, free of charge—capable of detecting what platform the site is being viewed in and then automagickally switching back to the old theme I’d been using for years for any sail-foam OS so as to display the site to much better advantage, albeit sacrificing some of the newer theme’s functionality. Tested it on my own phone, works like a charm, no glitches, no hassles. Amazing thing, this modern world we live in, innit?

And to think, before you know it it’s gonna be time for the Halloween à la Coop theme, then Scrooge Picard. Oh, the fun we shall have…

Publick Announcemente

No Eyrie tonight, sports fans. Over the weekend I ran across a nice-looking WP theme that I’ve been piddling around with, trying to shoehorn Ye Olde CF Blogge into the thing so’s it’ll work right. The theme has lots of pretty nifty-galifty customization options and features but, being based on a fluid layout scheme instead of the fixed-layout the old one has, there’s a right fair amount of jiggery-pokery to be done here before it’ll work properly. Figure on some unexpected wonkery to be going on hereabouts, as I ladle out generous dollops of skull-sweat attempting to get this little birdie to fly.

Update! Okay, this is turning out to be a right royal pain in the ass—for some unfahtomable reason, the central column wants to float over to the left, thereby obscuring part of the Butthurt Report Form, which is just completely unacceptable. Also, for some other unfathomable reason, the antiquated Feedreading Blogroll widget, which I haven’t been able to make work properly for a long time now and eventually just gave up on, actually works with this theme…assuming the linked blog even HAS an RSS feed, which apparently no Blogspot blogs do. Go figger.

Well whaddya know about that update! It appears that some Blogger sites DO have RSS feeds, and then again some of ‘em don’t. I repeat: go figger.

Oh fer cryin’ out loud update! Well dammit, even though options for such are mentioned here and there in the settings, this new theme is utterly useless for sail foams, near as I can make out. Need to figure out a way to implement a Desktop/Mobile switcher somehow, but it ain’t gonna be tonight, I’m just about tuckered. Plus, I think my poor old eyeballs might actually be bleeding at this point. Been a while since I did any website tinkering at this level, I fear.


Mea culpa, kinda-sorta

Off to a late start today, thanks to a miserable night spent being tormented by phantom pain in my no-longer-extant left foot, which kept me up and screaming out loud beginning at about 3-3:30 AM and carrying on non-stop until damned near four this afternoon. That shit ain’t no joke, folks, trust me on this one. Having watched my GF’s father go through it during my immediately-post-high-school years, I thought I understood that as well as anybody could, but now I know: until you’ve actually dealt with it yourself, you really have no idea.

Now to see if anything out there lights my blog-posting fire…


Back to the boards

KEYboards, that is, courtesy of my close friend Jeremy, who gifted me with an old electronic keyboard today (as in piano, not compooter) and got it all hooked up and working through Logic Pro on Ye Aulde iMac.

I do declare, but this thing is truly wondrous. Thanks to the Logic software, there is literally no sound this marvel can’t convincingly reproduce, from barroom-beater upright to Steinway grand to cheeseball Wurlitzer electric pianny to the venerable and beloved Hammond B3/Leslie cab combo. And that’s before you even get around to…well, essentially every musical instrument there is, as well as human voices, to include a whole slew of odds and sods even I’ve never heard of before. Which, trust me, is saying something.

The options are so numerous and varied that, as I told Jerm, one could easily spend an entire hoomon lifetime piddling around with them and only barely manage to scratch the surface. So if the blogging seems to suffer over the next, oh, several years, you’ll know why.

Oh, and since somebody mentioned those cheesy, greasy old Wurlitzers, here’s what has to be the world’s most well-known example of the correct deployment of one.


Publick Announcemente

Blogging is likely to be disrupted the next cpl-three days due to my modem having been taken out by dint of violence, presumably owing to the godawful storm we had day before yesterday. Said storm was no joke, let me tell ya; I’ve always purely loved a good thunderstorm on a summer afternoon, and this one was a real sockdolager. I was just lounging around on the bed reading when all of a sudden-like there was a blinding flash, with an almighty CRAAACK! near-simultaneous with it, indicating a strike VERY close by. There being a small stand of woods betwixt my place and the street, I assumed there’d be a smoking ruin where once a tall pine had stood.

Which is when my connection to the Innarnuts became a smoking ruin as well. I went into the living room to check the modem, and every light on the little black box was flashing madly, as if to piteously whimper HELP…ME! HELP…ME!

After fruitlessly trying to contact my  ISP all day yesterday via their alleged “24-7-365” tech “support” line—Comporium, the local ISP, is renowned amongst all those forced into using them as being one hundred and ten percent not worth a stinking shit, in my experience a reputation which is thoroughly justified*—and getting nowhere, I gave up and resigned myself to having to wait until Monday to see what, if anything, might be done. Meanwhile, I’m using my phone’s Hospot function for internet access.

So yeah, if things should suddenly go dark for a spell here at Ye Aulde Colde Furye Blogge, you’ll know why. I’ll try to dish out all the free ice cream via Hotspot I can today and tonight, just to tide everybody over during the lean and hongry spell I see a-coming.

*When I was living in CLT, pretty much everybody I knew bitched loud and long about how awful Time Warner/Spectrum was, which I never could quite grok; once you got past the hassle of having to wait weeks for your install appointment, they were a-okay by me, I never had problem One with ‘em

Mike’s Iron Laws

A while back I threatened to collect all the ones I’ve mentioned so far into one handy-dandy post, just to be funny. Then, at BMNT last night (Begin Morning Nautical Twilight, the witching hour when the US military likes to initiate an attack, for all sorts of very good reasons) when I had been forced out of bed to take a(nother) leak, I remembered that pledge, and decided to just go ahead and do this thing already.

After the results of a local CF search were in, I was a bit surprised at how many times I had deployed this schtick of mine; sometimes the MILs had been given a number designation, sometimes they hadn’t. Heck, somewhere back in the deepest mists of time I even established a separate category for the things, in preparation for the day when I’d finally get around to creating this compendium.

So without further mucking about, I present to you all the MILs I could scavenge—directly quoted from the post they originally appeared in, in no particular order, with a link to the post of origin.

And that’s a wrap, kids—for now. Looking back over this list, it’s a thing of wonder and amazement to me that, even though I was just making the whole danged thing up as I went along, I somehow avoided repeating any of the numbers except for Number One/Numero Uno. Not sure how I managed to pull that one off.

Update! I think I’m gonna create a new WP Page, which will show up as a navbar link at the top, so’s I can add new MILs as they occur to me. That’ll archive all of them in one convenient place, for posterity’s sake.


Publick Notice

No posting yesterday, due mainly to extreme lethargy and ennui, and probably none tonight either. What with the daily rush of one damned thing after another which seems to constitute life here at stately Totleigh Towers Hendrix Manor, I gots me some serious recharging of the batteries I need to be doing. Free ice cream delivery will resume tomorrow. Thanks for your patience and consideration, y’all…


Eyrie WAAAAY up!

The previous Eyrie hit record, set but a cpl-three weeks ago by the “Dumping Trump” installment, has been blown right up and left spinning in the dust like Wile E Coyote (Supergenius!) by this past Friday’s edition (“Secession tour de force”), driven by the selfsame force of Nature: a most gracious endorsement from our good friend Concerned American over at WRSA, which I didn’t know had even happened until just now. Dig it!


Note that, as confirmed in the above screen-cap, this was as of 7:45 on Friday evening, so the view tally is sure to have vaulted even higher since. In fact, here’s what the Eyrie overall stats look like for the month of June, with the tremendous impact of dat sweet, sweet WRSA linky-love more than evident.

Screen Shot 2023 06 25 at 9 48 46 PM

Says so much, wouldn’t you say? Once more, my sincerest and most humble thanks go to CA, as well as all you readers—for the stat-boost as well as, y’know, all the fish.


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Comments policy

NOTE: In order to comment, you must be registered and approved as a CF user. Since so many user-registrations are attempted by spam-bots for their own nefarious purposes, YOUR REGISTRATION MAY BE ERRONEOUSLY DENIED.

If you are in fact a legit hooman bean desirous of registering yourself a CF user name so as to be able to comment only to find yourself caught up as collateral damage in one of my irregularly (un)scheduled sweeps for hinky registration attempts, please shoot me a kite at the email addy over in the right sidebar and let me know so’s I can get ya fixed up manually.

ALSO NOTE: You MUST use a valid, legit email address in order to successfully register, the new anti-spam software I installed last night requires it. My thanks to Barry for all his help sorting this mess out last night.

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit.

Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) won't.

Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar.

Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

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