GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

First thing we do, let’s ban All The Things

Why we can’t have nice things anymore.

‘The Wrong Side Of History’ Is The One With Air Conditioning, Dishwashers, And Gas Stoves
These campaigns unfurl the same way every time. Leftists float some outrageous invasion into personal freedom in the name of stopping climate change or enhancing safety. When conservatives react with indignation, the media gaslights the country, casting critics as a reactionary cabal itching to start a “culture war.”

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but you know, I still maintain that a Biden appointee to the Consumer Product Safety Commissioner, Richard Trumka Jr., probably told Bloomberg News that gas stoves were a “hidden hazard” and “any option is on the table,” and then argued that the state could ban anything that “can’t be made safe” — which includes ladders, bikes, candy bars, cars, forks, desks, bathtubs, and televisions, and so on.

Oh, stop being such a hysteric; no one is going to take away your straws or light bulbs or combustible engines.

“No, Biden Is Not Trying to Ban Gas Stoves,” the New York Times assured its readers. The GOP “freak out” over the government “coming for your gas stoves” was “outright nonsense,” explained MSNBC’s Chris Hayes. Though, they all argue, gas stoves are basically mini Chernobyls that are killing your children as we speak — especially minority children. All the pseudoscience says so. And if you disagree, you might be one of those “Gas Stove Denialists.”

“Gas stoves became part of the culture war in less than a week,” added NPR. “How Gas Stoves Became the Latest Right-Wing Cause in the Culture Wars,” explained Time Magazine. The Washington Post claimed that the “GOP thrusts gas stoves, Biden’s green agenda into the culture wars.” The “culture war” can never be instigated by leftists suddenly shifting societal norms but only by social conservatives who pick needless fights over piddling, long-decided issues.

As Axios noted, gas stoves had become the “Right’s new fight,” which was somewhat confusing considering “the Right” didn’t bring up gas stoves in the first place. But the natural state of the world — the inevitable evolutionary finale of any policy debate — resides on the left. The speed of progress merely hinges on compelling the knuckle-draggers to see the light.

Ahh, but you didn’t really think they’d stop with just gas stoves, did you?

As Christian Britschgi in Reason points out, the Biden administration “has proposed tightening energy efficiency standards for 16 product categories, including many home appliances. The DOE has opened or finalized rules on microwave ovens, normal ovens, refrigerators, and laundry machines in just the last few months.” The Biden administration’s counterintuitive policy initiatives ensure that you’ll be compelled to buy crappier appliances at higher prices.

A-yup. All things, please note, that Whypeepuh dreamed up, engineered, and made a reality. Meanwhile, the Leftard Red Wreckers can do nothing, invent nothing, create nothing except chaos, destruction, and general human misery. And they’ll never, ever forgive us for that.

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The antitode: think it through

How a fully-Woke D卐M☭CRAT—a former Hollywood actress, no less—finally came around.


Welcome to the party, babe. Fellow Red Pillian Elon Musk responds with a funny-because-true riff, to be immediately set upon by the usual jackal-pack of screeching idiot shitlibs bridling at such an uppity display of dissent from their ultra-orthodox catechism…thereby proving the lovely Ms Beisner’s (and Elon’s) essential point far more convincingly than anything else ever could. Good show all around, everybody!

(Via Ace)

Update! What the heck, while I’m posting amusing Tweets here, have another.


Heh. Nailed it in one, Mr Jockey, sir.

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The universal language

Okay, I just love the everlovin’ hell out of this one.


Fookin’ brilliant! Especially at the very end, where the clearly-disgruntled FiQ (Feline in Question) has gotten tired of the whole damned thing, making that sleepy, semi-pissed-off, won’t you just leave me the hell ALONE face that every cat-lover on earth knows all too well.

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Another righteous blast from the past

In this instance, from 2018, involving none other than Tucker Carlson, showcasing his newly-red-pilled status in his pre-Fox-juggernaut days. Via Brother Bob:

An Interview With Tucker Carlson on What Makes Trump a ‘Political Genius’
Tucker Carlson, host of the popular Fox News show “Tucker Carlson Tonight,” spoke to Daily Signal Editor-in-Chief Rob Bluey at The Heritage Foundation’s 41st annual Resource Bank meeting in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Carlson received the prestigious Salvatori Prize, recognizing his work to uphold and advance the principles of America’s founding. The full video, plus an edited transcript of the interview, is below.

Rob Bluey: It is a true honor to celebrate the work that you’ve done, and I want to begin with the advice that you left this audience on how conservatives can take back the culture. You had two pieces of advice. Tell us about them.

Tucker Carlson: Well, have more children. I grew up in a world where it was considered embarrassing to have more than two children. I don’t think that’s the case now among middle-class, upper middle-class people, but it was.

First of all, it’s the most rewarding, greatest, most fun thing you can do. But it’s also the most profound thing. If you don’t like the direction of the country, have children, raise them the way that you want, consistent with your beliefs. It seems like all the answers are basic, nature-based answers, in my opinion. To everything. That’s the most basic of all, have more kids. Raise decent children.

And the second was just say what you think is true. I don’t actually think you get a ton out of confronting people and getting in people’s faces. I don’t think you’re going to convince anybody that way. But I think there’s inherent value in speaking principle out loud without shame or fear. And again, without the expectation that you’re going to win people over right away, because most times you’re not going to.

Aggression really doesn’t help much. I’ve definitely concluded that after years of being aggressive. But I think telling the truth is an inherently valuable act.

Bluey: You’ve had tremendous success with your show. It’s highly rated and millions of people are tuning in. How does that last point inform the work that you do on a day-to-day basis?

Carlson: The show’s successful because it’s on Fox News, which is successful. I’ve worked at a lot of different TV networks, and the network is what matters most.

I don’t imagine that my show is successful because I’m so great. I do think much more about what I say because there’s a bigger audience and because we’re in the middle of this revolutionary moment, and I’m counterrevolutionary.

I don’t say a lot of things without thinking them through, which is good. I mean, occasionally I do and get in trouble for it. But I really try to think through what I really believe and what I really think is true.

Good stuff so far, to be sure, but now we come to the real meat of the matter, at least in regards to the Trump mention in the piece’s title (bear in mind, Trump was still President at the time this interview was published).

Bluey: But I’d say the topics you cover and the way that you conduct your questioning is different and unique from other TV hosts.

Carlson: Well, I don’t have a lot to add. I would just say two things. I think President Trump is interesting, and I agree broadly with his agenda. I certainly agree with immigration, that’s for sure. But I don’t think that every story is about Donald Trump, and most other people at the other networks think every story is about Trump.

I don’t have anything to add to that; I don’t think it’s that interesting. I don’t want to talk about Trump five hours a week, I just don’t. And not because I have some political agenda and it’s bad to talk about; I’m just not that interested, actually. There’s a lot of interesting stuff going on. I try to talk about that.

…The book, like the show, is based on the most obvious questions. I’m not a super-clever person, I try to keep it very simple. Why would America elect Donald Trump president?

And the explanation in Washington is, well, they didn’t really. Putin did. Or voters were just so dumb, they didn’t know the difference. Or America’s racist, so they elected a racist. Those are contemptible nonexplanations. Those are stupid.

The real answer, obviously, is that people were so dissatisfied with the leadership in place as of the first Tuesday in November of 2016, that they decided to punish them by electing Trump.

This was a referendum on the ruling class; and by the way, we have a ruling class, and I’ve lived in it most of my life, so I know it’s real. It’s not a conspiracy, but we have a class system, increasingly, in this country.

The people in charge have done a really bad job on the big things, on foreign policy and the economy; and they’ve gotten us into a number of counterproductive wars. That was a bipartisan effort. It was started by Bush, but it was applauded by Clinton. So it wasn’t one party, it was both parties.

They made a bunch of assumptions about the economy that turned out to be wrong, and they helped destroy the American middle class, and then they don’t care. So they’re terrible. They’re deeply unwise and selfish and stupid.

Trump is the result of decades of unwise, selfish, and stupid leadership. It’s so obvious. I’m not a genius, I’m hardly a genius. It’s just so clear, and no one says that. I’m not sure why.

Lots more to it yet, and it’s all fascinating. I’ve read before in many other places that Tucker was a pretty solidly anti-Trump guy early on, and maybe he was at that, I couldn’t really say. But from this interview, it’s quite clear that Carlson really GOT the whole Trump phenomenon better than just about any other of his big-media confreres did, well before they did—those few of them who actually did come around to understand it, that is.

Perhaps unrelated, but purely in the interests of safeguarding my prized rep as a gadfly-contrarian against any unfounded accusations of being a Trump-licker, I’ll just throw this in too, from Margolis’s Meme-manic Monday email.

Trump Licker NOT

For whatever it’s worth, I checked a cpl of the above quotes I wasn’t totally sure about, and yes, it appears he really DID say all those puzzling-at-best things. I dunno, go figure; I ain’t even gonna try to explain what, if anything, it might mean. I’ve defended Trump plenty over the last six-eight years; I’m just about all “defended” out over here, frankly.

At this point, either you love him or hate him, and are probably no longer subject to persuasion either way. As I’ve said, I believe Trump could still have a significant, positive role to play in what’s to come, but not as President; that, he oughta just give up and walk away from, it’s a total waste of his time and effort.

Moar Tucker

I repeat: If you strike him down, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

‘I’M PROBABLY THE FIRST UNEMPLOYED PERSON YOU EVER INVITED TO SPEAK’: TUCKER CARLSON TO SOLD OUT CROWD
Tucker Carlson had a great joke for a sold out crowd in Alabama as he talked about being ‘fired’ and some other things. The crowd wasn’t huge, but it was sold out as 1,189 people showed up to see him speak at the Oxford Performing Arts Center for a fundraiser for Rainbow Omega. Jokingly, Tucker Carlson started off with the epic one-liner saying “I’m probably the first unemployed person you ever invited to speak.” Then Carlson said, “It’s funny. I never give speeches because I’m working. When I accepted this speech six months ago or something, I didn’t realize how much free time I would have. One never knows, does one?”

What else did Tucker Carlson say during his speech? Well, here’s some quotes thanks to AL.com who posted it in a news story about the former Fox News host:

I accepted for two reasons, one shallow and one a little deeper. One is, I do love Alabama. I’m not just saying that. We spend a lot of time in rural Maine, which is so close to this culturally, you have no idea. In a great way. The food is not very good in rural Maine. The food here is unbelievable. I’ve spent a lot of time in this state, and part of the reason is you have great hunting and fishing. The real reason is it has everything that I like. It has really nice people. It has amazing food. I have the world’s worst eating habits and here that’s not judged. Fried Oreos? Okay! I love that. I love the lack of judgment.

The perceptions, national perceptions kind of shift very slowly, then you wake up in the morning and everything’s different. The rest of the country’s view of Alabama is one of those things that just changed completely. Nobody makes fun of Alabama, at all, because they realize actually that’s how you’re supposed to be living. The only way to know what people think about something is to not listen to what they say, I say this as someone who has talked for a living for a long time, ignore the words. Watch what they do. Watch how they live. That’s the only accurate measure of what people really think. Ignore that. Be like your dog, who understands not a single word of what you’re saying but knows exactly who you are.

Are people moving to Alabama? Oh, yeah. I love that. Why are they moving here? They’re moving here because Alabama’s everything that you would want in a place that you live. It has cohesive communities, super-nice people, gentle people, people who care about their neighbors, and it has an abundance of nature, something that we I think undervalue. We went through this weird, kind of mass hypnosis where everyone was convinced we had to move to some horrifying concrete city in order to make a living and forgot that actually you need to see green, or else you’ll go insane. If you’re alienated from God’s creation, you become fundamentally alienated. Nature is the most beautiful thing. Driving around here today, I thought to myself, you think of Alabama, if you don’t live in Alabama, as a place that has a lot of past attached to it. And I thought today, especially reading the numbers about what’s happening in your state, Alabama is not the past, Alabama’s the future.

We’d damned well better hope it is, yeah. Thankfully, as Tucker implies, that’s something that just kinda-sorta happens when nobody’s really looking, or expecting it to.

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CRITTERS!

Among the many, many email list-type things flooding my inbox daily are quite a few from Twatter (since Musk took over and cleaned house I’m gonna have to stop referring to it with such disparaging names), which I haven’t long since relegated to the CF Spamme Trappe because I actually enjoy quite a few of them. Sander from the Netherlands, a/k/a Buitengebieden, would be on the list of Twitterers I like.


HAAA! Good stuff, no? I mean, really now, just look at the grin on that face at the end.

The cute little critter coming home to mama for a perfect three-point landing in her hand is a sugar glider, if I’m not mistaken; being a certified Elly May Clampett-level critter person (DEAD GIVEAWAY ALERT: there’s even a “Critters” category here, has been for a long time), I always did want one of those myself. Can’t recollect ever seeing a snowy-white one before, though. Some info on the li’l beasties, for those who might not know what the hell I’m even talking about here.

The sugar glider (Petaurus breviceps) is a small, omnivorous, arboreal, and nocturnal gliding possum. The common name refers to its predilection for sugary foods such as sap and nectar and its ability to glide through the air, much like a flying squirrel. They have very similar habits and appearance to the flying squirrel, despite not being closely related—an example of convergent evolution. The scientific name, Petaurus breviceps, translates from Latin as “short-headed rope-dancer”, a reference to their canopy acrobatics.

The sugar glider is characterised by its pair of gliding membranes, known as patagia, which extend from its forelegs to its hindlegs. Gliding serves as an efficient means of reaching food and evading predators. The animal is covered in soft, pale grey to light brown fur which is countershaded, being lighter in colour on its underside.

The sugar glider is native to a small portion of southeastern Australia, in the regions of southern Queensland and most of New South Wales east of the Great Dividing Range. Members of Petaurus are popular exotic pets and are frequently also referred to as “sugar gliders”, but these are now thought to likely represent another species from West Papua, tentatively classified in Krefft’s glider.

“Short-headed rope-dancer”—gotta love that, it certainly seems apt enough. Here, have yourself another adorable pic:

Ellymae

Oh oh wait, dang it, that’s Elly May. Sorry ‘bout that, folks…maybe. Here’s the one I meant to put in there.

SugarGlider

Heh. Ye Olde Colde Furye Blogge: where the smart set goes for all their “cuteness” needs.

Moar adorable update! Another critter I always wanted, but never did get.

Those are African pygmy hedgehogs, comically enjoying one of their favorite pastimes: tubing, they call it. Too, too funny, and totally cute too. (SIDE NOTE: yes, that’s an old toilet-paper-roll tube they’re playing with; they’re known for keeping that up for hours, walking themselves off of tabletops, falling off chair seats and sofas, repeatedly crashing into walls, you name it)

The trouble with keeping exotic pets like gliders and hedgehogs is that they’re costly to keep and maintain, in all sorts of ways. They usually need a great deal of attention and affection; their dietary requirements can be expensive and, well, exotic, thus tough to fulfill; finding a vet for one outside of major urban areas can be extremely difficult, the visits frequent and expensive. Exotics are susceptible to bizarre, unheard-of diseases, for which treatment is both demanding in terms of effort and ruinously expensive.

All in all, then, not the best choice of pet for someone who travels as much as I used to. Hell, just keeping up with two cats, two dogs, and a freshwater aquarium which I successfully kept going for well over ten years (stocked with two clown loaches, an albino shark, an albino cory cat, and a firebelly newt; the pleco I got for algae-control purposes, a tiny thing at first, I finally gave away to a friend when the ugly bastid grew to just over two feet long) was hard enough, thanks.

Big gay orgy at sea

An Army of one none, a Navy of the Village People.


Story:

Is this the Navy’s Dylan Mulvaney moment? Drag performer Harpy Daniels is Navy’s new ‘digital ambassador’ in bid to boost recruitment that’s set to fall short by 8,000

Baffling, that recruiting shortfall, innit? As with the FBI regarding the opaque, unknowable motivation behind each new jihadist terror attack, I just can’t imagine why it should be, I really can’t. Why, one would think ALL red-blooded American young men would fairly well leap at the chance to scrape barnacles, swab decks, spend long months at sea away from their loved ones, and prance about on the main deck in spike heels and a little black cocktail dress amongst their similarly-fabulous fellow swabbies. All in the course of Defending Freedumb, right? Of course it is.

The United States Navy has turned to a drag performer in its efforts to reach younger recruits on digital platforms and social media.

Yeoman 2nd Class Joshua Kelley, whose stage name is Harpy Daniels, announced on TikTok in November that he would be the Navy’s first ‘digital ambassador,’ highlighting his journey from performing on board beginning in 2018 and growing to become an ‘advocate’ for those who ‘were oppressed for years in the service.’

Kelley, who identifies as non-binary, was one of just five active sailors to participate as ‘digital ambassadors’ for the Navy in its ‘efforts to reach a wide range of potential candidates,’ a spokesperson told Daily Caller.

None of the digital ambassadors were paid, the spokesperson said, and no promotional or recruiting materials with the ambassadors exist.

The campaign is reminiscent of Bud Light’s partnership with trans-star Dylan Mulvaney which led to an immediate backlash, cost billions and caused the brand’s sales to plummet.

Anybody remember the Olden Thymes, when we were sternly and constantly admonished that nearly all transvestites were actually straight men who got no sexual charge at all from dressing up as their great-aunt Tilly? Nah, me neither. Musta dreamed it, I reckon.

Update! Meanwhile, the Woke Model Army isn’t interested in retaining guys like this admirable young man.

What made your military career unexpectedly short?
Can I comment for my son, please?

Kenny’s dream was to become a helicopter pilot for the US Army. So after 4 years of JROTC in high school it was off to Fort Jackson for basic combat training. He then completed AIT as an AH-64 Apache mechanic. He had told me, “Dad, if I’m going to fly the silly things I figure I ought to know how they work!”

Thankfully, Kenny was assigned to Fort Hood, only a 2 hour drive from home, where he perfected his abilities as an Apache wrench.

He was deployed to Iraq with the 4th ID in November 2005 to one of Saddam’s big helicopter bases, Camp Taji. (I was in theater teaching Iraqi Police Service cadets in Baghdad, but took a position at the Iraqi Highway Patrol Academy at Camp Taji about a week after the 4th Infantry arrived, but that’s a story for another posting.). He did his year, and came home to Fort Hood.

4 months after his redeployment Kenny started working on a helicopter that everyone had told him was all set to go, and that the batteries had been turned off. Unfortunately, he trusted his coworkers and didn’t double check. He managed to touch a metal tool to a positive connection. It was only about 24 volts, but was around 1,500 amps, and the electric shock blew him across the hangar. When he woke up in the hospital the electric conduction system of his heart was screwed up, causing him to have upwards of 14,000 extra heartbeats a day. Needless to say, he was removed from deployable status, and was sent to a medical rehab unit.

The Army futzed around with him for two years, sending him to civilian cardiologists and the Brooke Medical Center in San Antonio. But they never did anything to correct his malady. Personally, I haven’t been an active paramedic since 1990, but even I knew that a 23 year old US Army soldier with no other resident health problems presenting with 14,000 extra heartbeats a day means you have an injury to the Purkinje conduction system of the heart, which can be easily corrected.

Finally the Army called him in. “Specialist Rogers, we have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you are being promoted to E-5. Congratulations, Sergeant Rogers! The bad news is that we are done here. You’re being medically discharged. We’re going to let the VA Hospital fix you. Have a nice life.”

Kenny was crushed. He had all his paperwork ready to enter the Warrant Officer program and begin his pilot training at Fort Rucker, Alabama. He was going to spend the next 30 years flying for the Army, and now they didn’t want him.

About 6 months after first contacting the Dallas VA Hospital they called him up. “Sergeant Rogers, we don’t know why the Army didn’t correct your issues, but if you’ll show up at oh-dark:thirty on Monday next we’ll fix your little problem.”

And they did! Kenny had about 3 extra heartbeats since they did the cardiophoresis procedure, and it happened while he was in recovery at the VA.

He eventually found a civilian helicopter training school, and is currently about two weeks from receiving his commercial rating as a private helicopter pilot. The next step will be completion of the certified flight instructor school, where he can log enough hours as pilot in command to find work. He will probably end up flying for a large city’s police department, or maybe the DEA or Border Patrol.

The fun thing is, because of his Army training and experience, he is able to spot problems with the Robinson R44 he trains in well before even his flight instructor does. His school gets frustrated at him when he “Red Tags” (takes out of service) any of their birds, but they know he’s always been proven to be right. Safety first, you know!

But he would have been much, much happier flying for his beloved Army Aviation.

Included is a photo of the proud papa pinning on his intrepid, entirely honorable son’s new rank insignia before his final promotion to SGT, after which the Green Machine unceremoniously hustled the boy out—one assumes because he just wasn’t Fake or Ghey enough to meet rigorous, exacting Army standards for such.

When we get our heads handed to us by a bunch of tribal, 4th-century savages in our next Forever War, remember: it’s because we deserved to. Far as I’m concerned, both Kenny and his old man can be happy indeed that they’re no longer associated with Amerika v2.0’s PC dot-mil dickheads.

Wherein Ye Olde Blogge Hoste shamelessly swipes another good idea

Just went over for the daily look-in at Bill’s place, and I note he’s had an idea I think well worth the stealing: putting the link to his own Substack column at the top of the main page, making it more noticeable and immediate. Since our Daily Donnybrook open-thread post is already made “sticky” when I put each new one up, what I think I’m a-gonna do is append an “Eyrie” notification to it as well; should serve the same promotional function as Bill’s notice, without impinging on the main page of the blog any more than I just absolutely have to.

Update! Done, and done. I removed the Eyrie image from the sidebar and stuck it into the DD post, which I think looks great, and modified the DD title slightly too. What say y’all, CF Lifers? Like it, or no?

Updated update! So again I got to thinking (a VERY dangerous thing), and began asking myself whether, with the sticky Eyrie notification up top, I should carry on with the “Eyrie up” biweekly notification posts also. What I’m thinking is that I should, and will; they don’t do any real harm, don’t eat much, and are doable at a relatively affordable price, namely free, so why the hell not?

Who owns what, anyway?

The right to repair.

John Deere Corporate Might Have Reason to Panic, But Farmers Will Love What’s Happening
Farmers have been battling the manufacturers of their high-tech farming machinery for years over the right to repair their equipment on their own.

Major companies in the space, including John Deere, began restricting products to manufacturer exclusive service contracts.

These contracts lock out the farmers who own tractors, for instance, from making even small repairs to their machines. Instead, when something breaks down, farmers have to call the manufacturer or dealer to schedule a repairman to come out and service the device, forcing the farmer to shut down his operations while waiting for the repairman to come out to the farm.

This is obviously a serious problem for farmers who are under strict time restrictions during planting and harvesting seasons.

Farmers have been contesting this situation for years, ever since some manufacturers of equipment have begun implementing such exclusionary practices. It has resulted in a campaign among farmers called the “right to repair” movement, where farmers are fighting for the right to make repairs to the tractors and other instruments they bought and own.

The farmers claim that they lose money and time while waiting for these repair men to show up. Not only that, but they contend that if a tractor maker holds the sole right to repair, then the farmers don’t really even own their tractors despite paying tens of thousands for the vehicles.

As the truck drivers always say, so it is for the farmers: if the wheels ain’t turning, they ain’t earning. Not that the corporate types at John Deere, in defense of their “right” to bleed hardworking farmers like a deer tick on a hound with those exorbitantly priced “maintenance contracts” of theirs, give a discernible damn about that.

Now, however, the state of Colorado has become the first to give farmers the legal right to repair their equipment without being forced to pay for a manufacturer’s repair teams. That law was passed on Tuesday.

For their part, companies such as John Deere say that farming equipment is now so highly technical and computer-driven that repairs are often beyond the skill of barn tinkerers. Even more importantly, manufacturers say that if just anyone can start tearing down and rebuilding their high-tech machinery, their proprietary technology will be all too easily open for corporate theft.

Well, which is it, then? Are those slackjawed yokels too stupid to comprehend all that tech, or are those sharpie-farmers looking to inflate their incomes via some sophisticated reverse-engineering and corporate espionage?

For what it may be worth, my Uncle Gene flatly refused to own anything his whole life but a Deere…right up until his last one, which he spent a lot more time cussing and spitting at than actually riding the piece of junk.

Manufacturers also say that allowing tractor owners to make any manner of repair also allows them to bypass emissions controls set by governments and to crank up horsepower or make other modifications that violate laws. This, they say, puts equipment operators at risk of injury, and in turn would unfairly place the manufacturers in a position to be sued for those injuries.

Ahhh, and there it is: the cold, dead hand of government. You knew it would figure into all this somehow. Now for a little compare-contrast.

“Forcing a business to disclose trade secrets, software, and jeopardize consumer safety is poor public policy,” said Colorado state Rep. Matt Soper, a Republican who opposed “right to repair” measures in the Centennial State.

The opposition was not enough to stall the legislation. Colorado’s Democrat Gov. Jared Polis happily signed the new bill into law last Tuesday, saying, “This bill will save farmers and ranchers time and money and support the free market in repair” before exclaiming, “first in the nation!’”

Against all odds and expectations, we’ve now reached the point where the GOPer argues for restricting the rights of hard-working American farmers to do what they wish with the property they nominally “own,” while the Democrat stands up for freedom, real ownership, independent repair shops, and non-interference with said rights. UNEXPECTED!™

When is a liberal not a liberal?

The wit and wisdom of George Carlin, delving into why government schools suck.

George Carlin Warned us Why Public Education Sucks and Won’t Get Better
Carlin, despite his left-leaning tendencies, could also grasp certain concepts even his fellow liberals could not. For example, I recently came across an old clip of Carlin talking about education—and boy, was it spot on.

In the clip, Carlin talks about politicians who don’t want to improve education, despite always calling for more money to support it. Carlin also criticized the education system’s approach to addressing poor test scores by suggesting that instead of improving the quality of education, they lower the passing grades, a common practice in many schools.

“That’s what they do in a lot of these schools. Now they lower the passing grades so more kids can pass. More kids pass the school looks good, everybody’s happy. The IQ of the country slips another two or three points, and pretty soon, all you’ll need to get into college is a fucking pencil. ‘Got a pencil? Get the fuck in there.’ It’s physics. Then everyone wonders why 17 other countries graduate more scientists than we do. ‘Education.’ Politicians know that word, they use it on you.”

Carlin continued, “There’s a reason for this. There’s a reason education sucks. And It’s the same reason that it will never, ever, ever be fixed. It’s never gonna get any better. Don’t look for it. Be happy with what you got. Because the owners of this country don’t want that.”

“I’m talking about the real owners now. The real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. They get the politicians — politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets. And they own all the big media companies. So they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.”

“But I’ll tell you what they don’t want. They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking they’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests.”

Imagine a liberal saying this today. I can’t.

Of course you can’t. There’s about a jillion and one things Carlin used to say that no shitlib today would, nor even could.

I’ve been an avid fan of George Carlin since I was just a kid—and I’m talking here like 13 years old or thereabouts—when I plunked down my entire weekly allowance at my Uncle Gene’s drugstore for a copy of his FM & AM album, brought it home, and put it on the turntable of my family’s big old console-stereo rig. Then, after no more than about five minutes of me and my brother giggling at all the funny cuss-words, my enraged father stormed into the living room, slapped the tonearm off the disk so viciously he dislodged the entire needle cartridge and sent it flying across the room, and ordered me to take that obscene thing straight back to wherever you got it from, he wasn’t about to tolerate having any such filth in HIS house!!!

Although yes, Carlin’s political leanings were Left-wards, when and if he spoke of such piffling things at all, what the man also was—always, quite rigorously, and above all else—was honest. Often brutally so, no matter where that honesty might lead him either professionally or intellectually.

Which, being so uncompromisingly honest had to be extremely painful for him at times, I should think. Then again though, perhaps not so much; as I continued to follow his career over the years, even going so far as to watch his middling-at-best TV series, I began to realize that Carlin wasn’t so much a Leftist as he was a true, bred-in-the-bone iconoclast. Clearly, the man despised official authority in all its forms; I can’t recall him ever mentioning politics at all in his routines other than glancingly, as in the above quotes, and always with searing contempt. Certainly he never endorsed any particular candidate, party, or platform, like all too many of his fellow comics so promiscuously do today.

Like almost every other born-and-raised New Yorker, he thought of himself as a liberal, I suppose. But he wasn’t a guy upon whom the silken fetters of liberalism would ever sit easily or comfortably. A genuine free spirit, he flatly rejected chains of every kind, which is exactly what those silken fetters in reality were, and still are.

There is no common ground to be found between 60s-70s liberalism and liberty, then or now. Those two things being so patently (and ironically, given the Latin root of both words) contradictory, though, I kinda doubt it set off any cognitive dissonance for Carlin just the same. Given the man’s visceral loathing for any sort of political encroachment on freedom, whether his own or anybody else’s, it’s obvious that his first loyalty was always to human liberty, and not to what liberalism had by the close of the 60s come to represent—another vile linguistic traducement I doubt George Carlin would have had any patience with.

5

Tales from the tour bus

Commenting on last night’s Junior Brown post, Skeptic said:

I’ve been fortunate enough to see Junior, the Reverend, and Big Sandy live (although not on the same bill). Great entertainers all.

Indeed they are, and excepting Brown, who I’ve never met, just really great guys as well. So I began my response to Skeptic thusly:

Man, Big Sandy (Robert Williams, actually, as you probably know), in addition to being enormously talented, is without doubt one of the sweetest, nicest human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. When my wife was killed, he was one of the very first to call me. He had been friends with both her and her mom since way before I’d met them myself, and you could easily tell he was just heartbroken over it. I’ve never forgotten that act of kindness and open-hearted generosity, and I never will.

First time I ever did a show with him was out in LA, at Ronnie Mack’s Barn Dance. There was just all kinds of big rockabilly names on the bill that night; hell, even Brian Setzer showed up to make a surprise appearance to close out the evening. While Brian was on, me, James Intveld, Sandy, and a handful of others were brought onstage with him as well.

I got that far in, and that’s when it hit me: this story is just too damned good to let it languish in comment-section obscurity, it really merits a main-page post of its own. So here’s the rest of it, blockquoted just becuz.

Brian called out for us to do Eddie Cochran’s “Summertime Blues” to end the set, which the backing band launched into. Setzer sang the first verse, then frantically waved all his fellow frontmen into a midstage huddle before going on with the song–he had forgotten the rest of the lyrics, and wanted to know if any of the rest of us knew ’em!

Naturally, being under pressure like that, smack in the middle of actually PLAYING the song in front of a packed house, the spots circling us like hungry sharks, every damned one of us immediately lapsed into a total brain fart, failing to come up with so much as a single syllable of the blood-simple lyrics to one of the hoariest old RaB chestnuts known to man.

I mean, really, now. “Summertime Blues”? Hell, plenty of people who wouldn’t know rockabilly from Adam’s housecat probably know the words to that song! KNEW them? Of course we knew them! We’d all played and sung the blasted thing a million and one times; every one of us was a professional player, with years of onstage experience under our belts, so stage fright couldn’t have been an issue.

But still—there we all were, drawing a total blank, as the backing musicians went right on endlessly repeating the lead-in to the second verse whilst darting looks of confusion, wonderment, and dismay at our little stage-front conference as we all went right on NOT stepping up to the center mic to take charge and get the stalled-out show moving again.

Finally, I did so myself, just repeating the first verse Brian had already sung in hopes that it might jar something loose in my bourbon-addled brain which would bring the rest back to me again. But it’s what happened right before then that still makes me laugh to this very day.

See, Big Sandy was absolutely high-school drunk at that point, drunk as a boiled owl—or, as my friend Joe used to say, fucked up as a nine-eyed nigger. The guy had this goofy, vacant grin smeared loosely all over his slaphappy mug, the look of a man totally at peace with the entire world, delighted to be where he was in that golden moment—wherethehellever THAT might have been.

One of the other players, can’t remember who, nodded me over to where he was struggling to hold Sandy more or less upright by his right arm, in an unmistakable plea for assistance—Sandy is a big, heavy dude, see, and whoever-it-was, well…wasn’t.

So I got myself over there straightaway, latched onto Sandy’s free left arm, and our two-man rescue squad proceeded to walk/stagger/drag our cheerfully-inebriated charge over to the area of the stage known amongst showbiz types as the backline—ie, the row of guitar/bass amps and drum kit prepositioned for all the night’s bands to use, standard practice when a big venue has an unusually large number of groups booked, so as to shorten the time needed to break down the stage and set up for the next act.

And the backline is where we dumped Sandy, gently lowering him to sit atop a tweed Fender Bassman amp, his back against the rear stage wall. He was a sight: that same smile on his face, tapping both feet to the music, his body precariously swaying, a bottle of Heineken clutched tightly in each hand. Years later, I asked him if he remembered that auspicious evening, to which he replied, “YES! Ummm, maybe. Well, okay, parts of it.”

Too, too funny. I told him if he ever needed help remembering any of the more lurid details, I’d be glad to remind him, because I was never gonna forget it. We both laughed, and then headed on back to the bar.

Big Sandy was by no means the only one deep in his cups that night, mind; it was also the night I hung out after the show with a cripplingly-blasted Janeane Garofalo, which I told all about here. An auspicious occasion indeed, all the way ‘round.

Update! Added a green-room pic from after the Horton’s Holiday Hayride show to the Junior Brown post, in case any of y’all might be interested in such piffling trivialities.

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Fox News commits hara-kiri!

The end of an era, and a network. From America’s most reliable news source:

Fox News Fires The Only Reason People Watch Fox News
NEW YORK, NY — After months of controversy, Fox News has decided to part ways with the only reason anyone watches Fox News.

“Yes, we realize he delivered the most successful cable news program of all time, but we felt embarrassed by him at our Manhatten cocktail parties,” said Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott. “When we tried to get invited to fancy, sophisticated gatherings, people said: ‘Ewwww, aren’t you the Tucker Carlson people?’ and that made us feel sad. Curse you, Tucker, for making us feel sad!”

When reached for a reaction, Tucker simply stared dumbfoundedly at our reporter for several minutes.

Industry experts believe there are other factors that contributed to the alleged firing, including the fact that the company is too broke to pay him after settling a lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems.

Progressives are reportedly overjoyed by the move, although many are saying Fox didn’t go far enough by not killing Carlson in addition to firing him. “You mean he’s still alive?” said Congresswoman AOC. “Tucker being alive is fascism!”

At publishing time, producers were seen looking through files for another hot blonde to replace him with.

The Bee, of course, establishing a new record for how close their satire can come to actual reality: Tucker is indeed gone, although no one really seems to know why, or is admitting to it at least. Glenn sums up the rampant speculation out there:

Rumors have swirled that he was looking to leave since they stopped him airing more January 6 video after just a couple of nights, but I don’t know if that’s why he’s leaving or not.

The stock’s falling, leading an acquaintance to comment “$800m settlement for the vote fraud stuff with Dominion, and FOX just zapped $1bil from its market cap in the last 10 min.”

I wonder if Tucker will go to Newsmax or somewhere, or whether he’ll start his own Rumble program.

UPDATE: Lots of speculation that it involved the Dominion settlement, too. Maybe so. And Jim Bennett writes: “I wonder if Fox was getting significant pushback from the part of its viewership that were appalled by his stand on Ukraine. Most Americans of Eastern European descent are conservative, many of those I know are strongly pro-Ukrainian. And many were Fox viewers.” I dunno. I doubt that would be enough to end such a profitable association, but it may have been a factor.

Could be, who knows. Most likely, it will all come out eventually, as tends to happens with these things. But one thing we can be sure about: whatever the reason(s) behind it may have been, Fox News will be going the way of the dodo. Or does anyone out there think the moronic Sean Hannity can carry them on his strong, broad shoulders…?

Update! Apparently, t’was Rupert Murdoch himself who slew the Fox beast.

Tucker Carlson departs Fox News, pushed out by Rupert Murdoch
“Fox News Media and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways,” the network said in a statement. “We thank him for his service to the network as a host and prior to that as a contributor.”

A Fox News representative had no other details on Carlson’s exit. People familiar with the situation who were not authorized to comment publicly said the decision to fire Carlson came straight from Fox Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch.

Carlson’s exit is related to the discrimination lawsuit filed by Abby Grossberg, the producer fired by the network last month, the people said. Carlson’s senior executive producer Justin Wells has also been terminated, according to people familiar with the matter. A Fox News representative would not comment.

Murdoch is also said to be concerned over Carlson’s coverage of the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, in which the host has promoted the conspiracy theory simple, obvious fact, confirmed in several different ways, that it was provoked by government agents.

ADMISSION: I may have adjusted that last line slightly, in the interests of truth and accuracy. Be all that as it may, Ace administers the last rites.

Goodbye, Fox. You will die alone and unloved and unremembered.

Indeed so. In a conversation with my brother just now, we were speculating on a possibility I’d consider the most awesome denouement imaginable: Elon Musk and Tucker are even now on the phone hammering out the details of their new entry into the TeeWee news game, which will be called the Foxecutioner network.

Updated update! Ace’s post also includes the verified, 100% for-real video of Tucker’s final farewell to FNC:


What can one say but: heh. Indeed.

Oh noooes, Evel crashes AGAIN

What a pluperfect asshole.


See what I mean? What kind of weapons-grade dick-with-ears would jump in to bat around a vintage toy like that, chancing busting the thing all to smithereens on the asphalt? I had one of those myself back when I was but a wee sprat, and I can damned sure tell ya what woulda happened to this dude if he’da dared do that to mine. He’da wound up with a gaggle of the neighborhood rugrats latched onto his ankles, chawing on his ears and kicking him in his tiny, withered nutsack, that’s what. Hell, I had a scruffy, mean-ass pitbull pup back then, yclept Heinz, that woulda made mincemeat of his sorry ass, just on principle alone.

I mean, okay, I checked, and they DO still sell ‘em, for the low, low price of…40 smackers? Jeez. That said, at least it isn’t irreplaceable or anything.

But still. Jerkwad.

(((JOOOO JOOOO JOOOOO!!!)))

The Jew confession.

Maybe It’s Time To Fess Up, We Jews DO Run The World
As an American Jew whose family immigrated to the United States from Russia and Ukraine, the anti-Semitic words by people like Kanye initially horrified me. Still, I now realize that the time to be horrified is over. It is high time to fess up and tell the world the truth:

We Jews do run the world. And we’ve been running things for a very long time, manipulating world events for our own needs. It’s time to reveal the truth that many famous people now and throughout history were actually Jewish — part of the plot to perpetuate the myth and keep us in charge.

Martin Luther – yep, a Jew! But that one was pretty obvious. After all, he is famous for quitting his church to form a new one. Ever talk to a Jew about where he prays? He will tell you about the Synagogue he goes to and the one he would rather die than set foot in.

George Washington? Jewish, of course. James Monroe and Abe Lincoln also (take a look at their noses), So was John Adams (a short obnoxious guy whose real name was Ruby).

Napoleon was a Jew — no wonder he wanted to reconvene the historic Jewish court, the Sanhedrin. The French Emperor had this nervous habit of always playing with the Star of David hanging on a chain around his neck. The guy would look ridiculous, always sticking his hand in his shirt to play with the Star.

Most people don’t realize this but the Pope and all the Catholic Cardinals…members of the Tribe! You ever notice what they wear on their heads? Red Yarmulkes!

You know that famous picture of Bigfoot walking through the forest? I hate to disappoint people but it was a Jew in a costume. He was on the way to the international convention of the Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy (WWJC) and put on an Ape costume so people wouldn’t know about the convention.

See, I knew it, dammit, I KNEW it all along!

Note ye well though, folks, that I’ve been kicking around the ol’ blogosphere long enough now to remember back when The Lid blog was called “Yid With Lid.” So, y’know, you just can’t trust anything those Heebs say. Including the above jewa culpa.

All joking around aside, CF Lifers know by now that I have little to no patience with all that “the international Jew conspiracy is the cause of all our problems” schtuff out there. For one thing, it smacks too much to me of the selfsame thing the nig-nogs are constantly whining at Whitey about to ever ring true to these ears. For another, at least some of those Jew-under-every-bed folks insist that we’d be far better off to dump the treacherous, scheming, greedy Israelis and align ourselves with our True Allies™ over in the ME Sandbox—Iran, Saudi Arabia, et al.

Really, I ain’t kidding, I’ve seen ’em do it myself. To which I can only say…

Ummm, yeah, no.

As I’ve so often screamed at this impenetrable brick wall, it ain’t Jews you gotta worry about
—it’s liberals, be they Jewish, Episcopalian, Catholic, or what the hell ever else. We got plenty enough to be going on with dealing with the real menace to be frittering away any time or effort on made-up ones, that’s what I believe. But YMMV, I suppose.

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