GIVE TIL IT HURTS!

Being New York

Not a hell of a lot of fun in it these days, I’m afraid.

Straphanger slugged by irate seatmate wrestles attacker to floor — but then fellow passengers helped HIM after he ‘turned into a little b—-h’
A straphanger was slugged in the face by an irate seatmate on a Manhattan-bound subway, but he managed to wrestle the “little b–ch” to the floor — but that’s when fellow passengers jumped in to help his attacker.

Alexander Rakitin, 42, was riding the N train to his Manhattan finance job Monday morning when he sat down next to 34-year-old Timothy Barbee.

As the train took off, the car jolted, causing Rakitin’s knee to jostle Barbee’s — which set the alleged assailant off.

“Apparently my knee touched his knee. That triggered him,” Rakitin told The Post.

“He was just very aggressive. I’m like, saying, ‘Dude, just chill, it’s like 8:30 in the morning. Like, who needs this s–t? Just chill.’”

Footage taken by another straphanger captured the two staring each other down, before Barbee yelled “It’s f–king done, stop staring at me” — and proceeded to tell the protesting Rakitin to “Make me chill” and “Shut the f–k up.”

Their verbal exchange quieted for a moment while they continued to stare each other down, before Barbee said, “I ain’t got time to go to jail today.”

Then he smacked Rakitin across the face — sending his glasses flying — before the camera cut out.

“I was able to wrestle him to the ground after that, and just kind of hold him,” Rakitin said. “And the craziest part was that — and this is literally upsetting, like I’m actually emotional about it — people on the train were trying to help him. Like, that was the most insane thing.

“It was also remarkable — he went from acting like such a thug. And then he turned into a little b—h right away. He’s like, ‘I can’t breathe. Please, let me go. Please, let me go. I can’t breathe. Somebody give me some water. I can’t breathe.’ And people started giving him water. That was so insane.”

Gotta give the candy-ass nigger credit for one thing: he seems to have taken fully aboard the things he needs to say so as to get him off the hook for being an obstreperous, mouthy, violent subway-shitbird, what with all that “I cain’ breeve, I cain’ breeve ’n’ sheeit” horsepuckey.

Rakitin’s stunned assessment is mostly on target in re his fellow B&T straphangers who jumped in to render aid to his attacker, except that “insane” doesn’t even begin to meet the case here. What they of right ought to have been doing was getting in some good, stiff kicks to the ribs and head while Rakitin had the PoS pinned for ‘em. That’s a world’s-record instance of squandered opportunity, if you ask me, a true teachable moment flushed right down the toilet. You can bet your sweet bippy that it’d be a long, long while before this Barbee cunt-fart tried cutting up rough on the subway again if they had.

Bee Doxxed by SPLC scum

Leftard filth, just doing what Leftard filth…does.

This week, the Southern Poverty Law Center published the identities of anonymous staff writers for our sister site, Not the Bee, which covers news so absurd that it seems like satire.

We at The Babylon Bee and Not the Bee remain committed to mocking woke insanity, but this is serious. 

The SPLC is a “scandal-ridden, discredited smear factory,” as our CEO Seth Dillon puts it, but government agencies, corporations, and violent leftists still take it seriously.

  • Last year, the FBI used SPLC data to connect traditional Catholics with extremism.
  • In 2020, Amazon relied on the SPLC’s “hate group” designations to disqualify conservative nonprofits from access to customer donations.
  • In 2012, the SPLC’s listing the Family Research Council as a “hate group” inspired a mass shooting plot at their headquarters.

We’ve been deplatformed, demonetized, and now doxxed by the SPLC. We won’t be intimidated, but we need your help to stay on the frontlines of the culture war. The only reason we’ve been able to survive these kinds of attacks is because we’re mostly reader-funded. And that’s where you come in.

Yes, as you’re bound to’ve grokked by now, the above is from a fundraising email the good folks at the Bee kited me; donation/subscription page is here, for any of y’all CF reprobates, scoundrels, and scalawags who might have a spare shekel or two to throw their way.

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Seagoing disgrace

Thank God we still have the most powerful, STRAC, well-equipped and -trained, effectively invulnerable military in the world. Right?

RIIIIIGHT?!?

Ummm…yeah, about all that.

Q: Is Pennsylvania the crookedest state in the entire Union?

A: Apparently so, yeah.

Bucks County commissioners vote to count illegal ballots in Pennsylvania recount
Bucks County commissioners voted to count ballots lacking proper signatures, violating a Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruling earlier this year.

The three-member board voted two to one to count these illegal ballots in the Senate race recount.

“I think we all know that precedent by a court doesn’t matter anymore in this country, and people violate laws anytime they want,” Diane Marseglia said. “So for me, if I violate this law, it’s because I want a court to pay attention to it.”

Well, that, and you really, really, really want to help your D卐M☭CRAT pals steal yet another election, you dirty, slimy, lawless oxygen thief. To wit:

Republican Sen.-elect David McCormick won 48.93% of the vote and Democratic incumbent Bob Casey captured 48.50% of the vote, thus triggering a recount. 

However, as of Wednesday, there are approximately 80,000 left to be counted, including 20,000 mail-in and absentee ballots and around 60,000 provisional ballots. 

Counties must begin their recount on Nov. 20 and have until Nov. 27 to report their results to the Secretary of the Commonwealth. 

Casey, the third-term Senator, has not yet conceded the race.

Must I say it again? WHO THEY ARE. WHAT THEY DO. Ace opines:

Strom notes that this is the county — which now leans red, but which is controlled by Democrats owing to previous elections — in which Democrats attempted to shut down voting to keep Republicans from casting votes.

Figures. Trump’s doing well so far and will continue to do his utmost, I’m sure, but the sad fact is that this country ain’t ever gonna truly be straightened out till a YUUUGE number of these scumsuckers are pulling hemp—swinging from gibbets while the crows peck at their eyeballs. Period fucking DOT.

Don’t make me say it again, goddammit.

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Threat, or promise?

I do not think that MAGA Americans are going to find this “threat” quite as dismaying as they seem to expect we will.

OhNoAnyway sm.

I like this one well enough that I’m thinking I may re-run it with tomorrow’s Eyrie post, maybe.

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Just the facts, ma’am

Another Kumhaula/Doughboy lie shredded in one simple, easy-to-understand graphic.


Thanks to Larwyn for the steer.

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The need to Believe™

Is strong in these ones.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Early Voting
The whole idea of voting early marked a massive shift in my mindset. Although we’ve only had early voting in Georgia for a few years, I’ve always resisted it. I’ve always laughed when I heard Erick Erickson say on his show that you need to vote early because you never know if the weather is going to be bad on Election Day. The weather is never bad on Election Day in Georgia, although I do remember waiting outside in the rain in 2012 or 2016 (I can’t remember which).

When I would see people posting their “I Voted Early” stickers, I would think of it almost as bragging or maybe even virtue-signaling. Looking back, my stubbornness about not voting early might have been a different sort of virtue-signaling.

“I think traditionally, Republicans tend to want to go vote on Election Day,” Republican National Committee co-chair Lara Trump said. I was one of those for sure.

My line in the sand was that Election Day was sacred. There was something about waiting in line and having conversations with the people in line (something I would never do the other 364 days of the year). There was a certain camaraderie about the voting line for me, no matter how impatient I got — and there were enough technical errors in 2020 to make us all impatient. Maybe I should’ve seen that as a sign, but that’s another conversation for another day.

I know that not everybody feels the way I do about early voting, but this is a journey that took me years to make. What I do know is that whether you vote early or on Election Day, whether you’re punching a hole in a ballot or tapping a touchscreen, your vote counts!

Uh huh, suurrrre it does. Hey, anybody remember when Real Americans felt such conveniences as early voting, mail-in ballots, and electronic voting machines were all things we desperately needed to get rid of as a fundamental part of “election reform” if we were ever going to straighten out the rigged, corrupt shitshow that Amerikan “elections” have become? Nah, me neither.

When, early in her first term, ***”pResident”*** Harris signs the executive order doing away with the Electoral College once and for all, expect there to be nary a “baaah” of complaint from cowardly, contemptible former Americans about it; if our bland, pathetic acceptance of the official institutionalization of the nuts and bolts of election-rigging is any indication, there’s no reason to think we won’t just swallow that down the same way. “Not the hill to die on,” don’t you know; apparently, none of ’em are.

In case you’re wondering why we lost America That Was to the Evil Left, look no further than this: because we deserved to, that’s why.

Goose, please allow me to introduce Gander

Hey, anybody remember when foreign interference in Amerikan “elections” was a BAD thing? Nah, me neither.

British Labour Party sending staff to campaign for Harris in US swing states
WASHINGTON (TNND) — The left-leaning British Labour Party is sending nearly 100 members to U.S. battleground states to campaign for Vice President Kamala Harris ahead of the presidential election.

Sofia Patel, head of operations for the Labour Party, shared the plans via LinkedIn Wednesday. She claimed current and former party staff will target key swing states like North Carolina, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Virginia.

“I have 10 spots available for anyone available to head to the battleground state of North Carolina – we will sort your housing,” Patel offered in the post.

Patel also noted she plans to arrive in the U.S. two weeks prior to the election and stay in Washington, D.C., for a few days afterward.

Patel’s profile shows she previously spent time in the Hillary Clinton campaign from October to November of 2016. She included the description “travelled to the US to campaign for Clinton in the presidential election.”

Leave it to MTG to make with the stinging, snappy riposte, in her accustomed gadfly role.

Reacting to Patel’s post was Sen. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., who suggested via X it was “yet another reason to vote for President Trump.” Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., also weighed in, telling the Labour Party it is breaking Federal Election Commission law.

“Foreign nationals are not allowed to be involved in anyway in U.S. elections,” Rep. Greene wrote via X. “Please go back to the UK and fix your own mass immigration problems that are ruining your country.”

And of course, the rock star I know affectionately as the God-Emperor of Earth put his own oar in as well.

X owner Elon Musk wrote simply “this is illegal” in his own post on the matter.

Well said: pithy, straight to the fucking point, no BS, no mincing of words or surplus verbiage—only this and nothing more, as Poe once said in a slightly different context. You tell ‘em, Elon ol’ boy. Back to Limey-land witcha, MSXZZ Patel, and most ricky-tick; do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

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Can you say “War on Men,” boys and girls?

I knew you could.

Perhaps it’s a predictable irony that in an election cycle that could realistically deliver the first female president, so much of the commentary has been about men. Or rather, not about men exactly, but about “masculinity.” Because somehow, in 2024, we still find ourselves unable to talk about men and boys without using masculinity as the basic frame of reference.

The electorate is faced with a choice, the story goes, between two models for masculinity. Toxic versus positive. In response to the vein-popping, furious, felon model of the right, the left is offering us a more morally upstanding and expansive “positive masculinity.”

“Positive masculinity” has been around for a while. Most likely coined in early 2000s by psychologists as a way of working with male patients in therapy… Masculinity has had an unfairly bad rap, its proponents argue, becoming permanently shackled to the word “toxic.” Positive masculinity is an attempt to rebrand and reinstate it for the next generation, often with the claim that unlike the insecure posturing of the shirt-ripping strongmen, this is in fact “real” manhood.

The model is not a radical departure. Positive masculinity still draws on all the old trappings and anxieties of traditional manliness, the same belief that there is such a thing as a “real man” and the same fears of falling short. As its political standard-bearer, the Democratic vice-presidential nominee, Tim Walz, is still required to constantly prove his masculine credentials.

Sorry and all, but that’s ‘cause Tampon Timmeh the Pillsbury Doughpyrsynz’s© “masculine credentials” straddle the line, reverse-cowgirl style, betwixt “laughable” and “nonexistent.” Whatever no-ball, cringing caricature of American manhood the preposterous Harris/Doughboy campaign plans to portray as “masculinity,” their dumpy, thoroughly emasculated Veep candidate is sadly lacking in anything resembling it. Case in point:


Jeezum M Crow. It’s a dead cert that not one of these phony-ass punks has ever hunted pheasant—or owned a shotgun, for the matter of it—in his/her/its entire life. The paid actors/stunt hunter stand-ins all look like they just dragged a credit card through the Mordor On The Potomac (or possibly Minneapolistan) Cabela’s or Bass Pro Shop to gear themselves up with a brand new Serious Outdoorspyrsynz!™ costume for the filming of this pathetic, wholly-fraudulent joke of a campaign ad. I love what one X wag had to say in response to the question implied above: What’s missing in this video? A: Testosterone. Good one, pal.

NOTE: Link is to the Ace place, not to the original NYT article. I would never subject you good people to the horror of an NYT link, no way.

Update! Ed Driscoll reels off another knee-slapper.

OLD AND BUSTED: “Can I get me a hunting license here?”

—John Kerry, October 2004.

Heh. Indeed, Ed.

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Catastrophic near-miss

Oh frabjous day, calloo callay! Well, almost.

Anderson Cooper drilled in face by flying debris during live on-air Hurricane Milton report: ‘That wasn’t good’
Cooper, known for his on-site coverage of hurricanes, took the incident in stride and continued his report of the water from the Manatee River rising above the river bank and onto the walkway above.

Aw dammit, I was rooting for casualties when I saw the headline. According to the article the “flying debris” in question was only a small piece of styrofoam (sigh) and not a brick, iron bar, V8 engine block, live alligator, or something else a bit more, umm, lethal, shall we say. Oh well—next time, perhaps.

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His mouth is moving again

Right straight to Hell with this dirty, demented whoreson.

Biden labels people ‘brain dead’ to doubt ‘climate crisis’ fueled Hurricane Helene: ‘Put politics aside’
President Biden called on Americans Wednesday to “put politics aside” to focus on Hurricane Helene recovery efforts — moments before stepping on his own message by saying that anyone who doubts climate change’s role in the disaster “must be brain dead.”

“In a moment like this, we put politics aside, at least we should put it all aside, and we have here,” the retiring 81-year-old president said during a recovery briefing in Raleigh, NC.

“There are no Democrats or Republicans, there are only Americans, and our job is to help as many people as we can, as quickly as we can, and as thoroughly as we can.”

The consoler-in-chief, seated next to the Tar Heel State’s Democratic governor, Roy Cooper, and emergency officials after an aerial tour of the Asheville area, pivoted moments later to an attack on the mostly Republican skeptics about the role of fossil fuel use in severe weather.

“Unite” with scuttling D卐M☭CRAT cockroaches like you and Komrade Kooper for the furtherance of the Climate Change (formerly Global Warming, formerly Global Cooling, formerly The Weather)™ ploy, Jaux? Yeah, no; I’d rather gargle crackwhore diarrhea, thanks. MUCH rather, in fact, six days a week and twice on Sundays. Drop dead, whydon’tcha—a process with which any Real American you’d care to name would be more than happy to assist you via the judicious application of a .308 caliber prescription.

Gotta love how, immediately after the brazen jackass flippantly denied any more aid to suffering, ruined Appalachian Americans who bore the brunt of the gut-wrenching Helene catastophe, he eagerly jumps in with both Left feet to try and turn a natural disaster into a political opportunity. He even has the unmitigated gall to misnomer this “put(ting) politics aside,” in what would have to take the trophy for the most transparently self-contradictory statement of all time. Only the scummiest, sleaziest, most heartless ProPol would be capable of such a thing. Here’s hoping Pedo Peter is made to pay for this outrage in fullest possible measure—slowly, painfully, permanently.

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Liberals: If we don’t get our way, we will assassinate you

Also liberals: These assassination attempts are all YOUR fault, not ours.


Well, of COURSE they are, Mollie. Just remember the handy-dandy rule of thumb: OUR speech is “violence,” THEIR violence is “speech.”

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Other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs Lincoln?

The Show goes on. And on, and on, and interminably on.

BREAKING.🚨

Senator @HawleyMO releases *WHISTLEBLOWER REPORT* on the failed J13 assassination attempt on Donald Trump.

The whistleblower made a number of allegations. Highlights:

  • Majority of DHS personnel unfamiliar with security protocols
  • Only training received by many HSI agents was a single two-hour webinar
  • Law enforcement was supposed to be on roof where Crooks shot Trump, post was abandoned
  • Night before the rally, Secret Service denied offers to utilize Butler County’s drones
  • USS Counter Surveillance Division (CSD) did not perform routine pre-event surveillance
  • Gunman would have been handcuffed after being spotted with range finder if USS CSD present
  • Secret Service lead agent lacked competence and experience
  • Secret Service preemptively informed Pittsburgh field office the Butler rally was not going to receive additional security resources

Hawley’s whistleblower report concludes:

“Two months have now elapsed since former President Donald J. Trump was nearly assassinated. And the American people still know far too little about why this happened.”

“The Secret Service, FBI, and Department of Homeland Security have not been forthcoming with the American people. Far from it: they have closed ranks, refused to confirm or deny whistleblower allegations, and resisted meaningful oversight. In fact, sources with direct knowledge of Secret Service’s own internal investigation have alleged to Senator Hawley that the Department of Homeland Security is leaning on Secret Service not to comply with document requests from Congress.” […]

“Left alone, these agencies will not reform themselves. They will continue to stonewall and obfuscate. Plainly, it is now up to Congress and the President to clean house at these failing agencies at the earliest possible opportunity.”

WELL, thank goodness this report has at last come out to tell us what we all already knew! Now, betcher by golly we’ll see some for-real ACTION taken here. Right? RIGHT? RIIIIGHT…?!?

* crickets *

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Not that I wish to dump overmuch on Sen Hawley, mind; his heart seems to be in the right place, for the most part at least. Certainly, his child-like faith that “Congress and the President” will respond with alacrity and “clean house at these failing agencies at the earliest possible opportunity” is touching. But all in all, I have to agree with this response:


Word to yo’ mother.

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That’s absolutely, positively IT

Repukes say they are DONE with this “debate” folderol: the pre-rigged ground rules; the partisan, interfering “moderators”; the self-serving Enemedia post-“debate” analysis of who did and did not “win,” ALL of it. No more, sayeth the Vichy GOPe, no way. Not until next time, at any rate.


He’s perfectly correct, and you *gag, choke, spit* know he is.

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DEBUNKED!

Or, y’know, NOT. Whichever.

EXCLUSIVE: Police Audio, Report Confirm Haitian Goose-Hunting In Ohio: ‘They All Had Geese In Their Hands’
A caller reported to police a group of Haitian migrants carrying four geese in Springfield, Ohio in exclusive audio obtained by The Federalist.

A recording of a police phone call obtained by The Federalist reveals a local resident reporting a group of Haitian migrants carrying four geese in Springfield, Ohio two weeks ago.

“I’m sitting here, I’m riding on the trail, I’m going to my orientation for my job today, and I see a group of Haitian people, there was about four of ’em, they all had geese in their hand,” the caller tells the public services dispatcher in the audio recording of the call.

According to a police report reviewed by The Federalist, the call was placed on Aug. 26, before the Columbus suburb located roughly 50 miles from the state capital became nationally known this week for epitomizing the nation’s migrant crisis. The caller told the dispatcher he saw four migrants in total, two men and two women, each carrying a single goose.

“I was trying to get my phone out and I was trying to make it to this orientation on time,” the caller continued. “I’m time crunching here, and I saw that, I’m like, ‘Yeah this has got to be reported,” he tells the non-emergency police dispatcher.

“How many geese did they have?” the dispatcher asks the caller in the recording.

“Uh, they each had one,” he replies.

The caller says he spotted the Haitians carrying the geese at an intersection between Water and Warder Street, a location that does exist in Springfield and is confirmed in the police report later filed about the incident.

Debunked,” is it? Just another “liberal” lie, nothing more, in accordance with my longstanding guiding principle: Assume they’re lying, always, for if they couldn’t lie, they’d have nothing whatsoever to say. Which, come to think of it, sounds like another shoo-in candidate for addition to our Mike’s Iron Laws section, I do believe.

Update! As promised/threatened: done, and done.

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CF Glossary

ProPol: Professional Politician

Vichy GOPe: Putative "Republicans" who talk a great game but never can seem to find a hill they consider worth dying on; Quislings, Petains, Benedicts, backstabbers, fake phony frauds

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