Quite the Whoopie Cushion eh?


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Blacky’s Last Ride

Posted 12/02/2021 By BusTed-Phil

The poor old fucker is all done.

He was a neighbors cat from the last place we lived.

A couple of Dykes had him and when they moved away apparently he stayed.

At the time we already had at least 8 fucking cats hanging around.

The Wifely Unit had never had pets before and went completely Ellie May Clampett on me. Cats, raccoons, you name it, she was either adopting them or feeding them.

The ventilation holes in the concrete foundation had the screens tore out of a couple of them and we kept having feral cats get under the house and having litters of kittens.

There was a huge hole in the sheet rock in the garage behind the washing machine some clown had torn into it fucking with some plumbing that was constantly backing up.

So I would go out in the garage to piddle fart around and the next thing I know there are kittens running all over the place.

Of Course Ellie May wanted to keep all of them and I had a hell of a time getting rid of the sonsabitches.

After the second batch I had enough and went down to Horror Freight and bought a little electric impact drill, bought some stainless steel screen and went around the house plugging all the holes.

Just for good measure I went and bought some larger mesh screen and covered up the hole behind the washing machine too.

Then we went about our business of herding cats.

About a month later The Kid come out of his bedroom and said he could swear he heard a cat meowing under the house.

Impossible says I, there’s no fucking way any cat was getting under the house because I made damn sure and varmint proofed everything.


The Wifely Unit went in his room and said she could hear it too.

It was Summer time so I pulled the washing machine out, yanked the screen off the wall and opened up the garage door.

We put some food and water down close to the hole and bigger than shit, about an hour later, here comes this really skinny black cat slinking out of the hole in the wall and making a bee line to the water,

I went over and closed the hole up, he freaked out and tried to get back in there but I was faster.

He didn’t know what the fuck to do and bailed out but pretty soon he was back and started eating.

So we wound up with cat number 9.

I have no idea how the little bastard survived under the house that long.

He absolutely hated to go outside and he didn’t like being alone either so he pretty much became Momma’s Boy.

Eventually we culled that number down to 3 that would come in the house and then my dad died and we wound up with his old cat Bitsy too.

Then we moved over here.

Bitsy was 19 when she kicked off a couple of years ago.

Nobody knows how old Blacky is, the vet guesses 9 or 10.

I’m thinking closer to 12.

What I do know for sure is that the little shithead has always been an ornery motherfucker.

I didn’t especially care for his ass but I had to respect the attitude.

The cocksucker would wander through the house randomly at 3:00 A.M. YOWLING HIS ASS OFF.

For no apparent reason other than to be a dick.

I’m talking loud too, you could hear the little bastard clear outside.

Wake everybody up kinda shit.

Just out of the blue.

I basically tolerated his ass most of the time but waking me up in the middle of the night like that ain’t the way to my heart.

I guess it’s been about a year ago now, the little dude went bug fucking crazy one night.

His pupils were completely dialated and he would dash from one side of the house to the other, yowling his ass off, running into shit and went non stop until he was exhausted.

We are pretty sure he got into something. What, I have no idea but whatever it was fucked him up pretty good.

Like I said above, he hated to be outside for more than a couple of minutes and then only if The Wifely Unit was in sight so I have no fucking idea what it was he got into.

He never went into the garage as far as I know.

Whatever it was fucked him up though.

The Vet didn’t have any idea either.

He got real goofy after that and very slowly started going blind in one eye.

After a few months his weight started fluctuating wildly and his fur just went to shit. Big clumps and it was greasy looking.

Of course The Wifely Unit was taking him up to the vet over all of this and apparently they finally figured that he had Cancer.

She started pampering his ass with Premium wet cat food, the other cats would push him out of the way and gobble it down and he acted like he didn’t give a fuck. The Midnight Yowlings petered out and pretty soon all he did was lay on the bed until he was hungry and then get down, come out and yowl a couple of times to let us know he was hungry.

This went on for quite a while but you could see he was going down hill. Pretty soon he lost almost all of the sight in his other eye and he would wander around bumping into the walls trying to get around.

Then he started gaining a shit ton of weight.

He doubled and then tripled in size around the belly.

Turns out he was filling up with fluid.

Here recently he started having a hard time even walking at all.

Staggering around, falling over and wandering in circles.

His back legs weren’t wanting to cooperate.

Then a couple weeks ago he fell down in the kitchen and had a massive seizure.

The Wifely Unit completely lost her shit and thought he was dying.

She took him back up to the vet yesterday and they told her the cancer had metastasized and that he was completely full of it.

There is nothing else they can do for the poor little fucker.

So here in about an hour we are going to load him up and take him on one final ride.

The Wifely Unit is going to lose her shit and be a wreck.

I had to take the day off to deal with this because she has never had to put an animal down before.

I’ll take care of it and then we will have him cremated.

They put the ashes in a little container, make a little cast of one of his paws and make a little set.

We will put him on the mantle next to Bitsy.

It’s going to be a long day for me, I didn’t even get home from work until 3:00 in the morning and didn’t get to bed until 5.

She woke me up at 10:30 so I could hold the little fucker down while she shot some kind of tranquilizer down his throat so he won’t freak out in the car. He don’t like riding in the car.

I’m thinking if he knew what was coming he would really not be liking getting in the car today.


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It sure don’t…

Posted 12/02/2021 By Cederq


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Thursday Trains

Posted 12/02/2021 By Cederq
Detroit train ferry
Brazil Armored train car
Car mover
Hand car with gandy dancers
Pontiac track inspection car
February 10, 1968 (13:40) No. 23, former Grand Canyon ATSF 75L, 78L
1870 RR Velocipede


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I want grits with it too…

Posted 12/02/2021 By Cederq


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Do I Fucking Care?

Posted 12/02/2021 By BusTed-Phil


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Phil’s light, let it shine bright!

Posted 12/01/2021 By Cederq


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Make mine WD 40…

Posted 12/01/2021 By Cederq


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All of us can brag about that…

Posted 12/01/2021 By Cederq


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