Never accept food or drink from batshit-insane Leftard shrikes. I mean, not EVER. These days, that shit could get you killed.
Liberal Cat Ladies Reveal “Battle Plan” To Poison Trump Men With Aqua Tofana
Educated white liberal women appear to have lost their goddamn minds after the presidential election. Many have posted videos of uncontrollable emotional outbursts over a Trump victory…… with some even threatening to adopt pro-life stances as a form of retaliation against men.
Others have made what appears to be terroristic threats, suggesting at the use of strong poison against men because they voted for the evil ‘Orange Man.’
Internet searches for Aqua Tofana—a potent poison created in Sicily around 1630 by a woman named Giulia Tofana, or Tofania, and historically used by women to free themselves from relationships by killing men—spiked shortly after the election results.
X user I Meme Therefore I Am noted, “HOLY SH*T, Karens lost their fvcking minds over Trump’s win and launched MATGA—short for Make Aqua Tofana Great Again.”
Please don’t make the mistake of placidly assuming they’d never actually go through with any such heinous thing; after the many infamias we’ve seen from them already, you oughta know better than that by now. WTH Kathy Frisby spells out the bottom line.
Has anyone reported this? Free speech is one thing. This is a freaking battle plan.
— White Trash Hillbilly Kathy Frisby (@kathy_frisby)
T’is indeed, no more nor less. Although the well-known Field Officers’ Iron Law of Battle Plans has been stood on its head here. In a first-ever strategic innovation, it’s the Enemy (a/k/a, US) that won’t survive initial contact, not the Plan. In fact, in what might well be the most bizarre twist of the entire bizarre, twisted mishegoss, that actually IS the Plan. Therefore, any gormless male presently sharing a domicile with one (1) or more of these demented Lizzie Borden wannabes is hereby advised to
- Find yourself another place to live toot fucking sweet
- AFTER THE FACT ADDENDUM: Find yourself a better girlfriend; what the actual fuck possessed you to get tangled up with a skank-ass Leftybitch in the first place, anyways? DUDE!
- Meanwhile, as your search for more congenial, non-toxic living quarters gets underway, move into the spare room, garage, backyard storage shed, or your car for the duration; carefully ascertain that the door is locked and/or barred securely before you hit the hay every night
- Regardless of your domestic arrangement, it is imperative that you always, always, always make sure she falls asleep FIRST, long before you do; PRACTICAL RESOLUTION: Until you hear her snoring, your eyes must remain OPEN
- Contra what saner sorts might wish to believe, after her weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth over one (1) election defeat has finally subsided and the house suddenly goes dead quiet and calm (HA!), it’s still definitely NOT a good time to relax your vigilance, drop your guard, or shift your focus—not to any degree; as with lions, tigers, and wolverines in the wild, unhinged broads are most to be feared when you can’t hear them coming
- Ever have what seemed at the time like a piddling little spat with your wife/GF/shackjob/significant other, only to have her fly into mortifying paroxysms of spittle-flecked rage and re-litigate the whole silly, childish dustup—straight out of the clear blue nowhere, word for spiteful word, in minutest detail, usually in a nice, quiet restaurant after your entrees have arrived—several years after you figured all had long since been forgiven and forgotten? Yeah, you need to spend a little time poring over the lesson contained therein, buddy-ro, until you fully grok it
- Prepare your own meals, fetch your own drinks, open your own beers; NEVER leave your plate, glass, bottle, utensils, &c unattended, even momentarily
- Same-same for bags of chips, cheese puffs, crackers, and/or cookies; bottles/cans of soda or juice; candy bars; cartons of milk, &c; if it’s been opened or unwrapped, if its tamper-proof safety seal has been breached, do NOT touch it, much less eat and/or drink it—leave it be no matter how hungry, thirsty, or just plain old bored you might feel just then; any packaged comestible, condiment, sauce, or seasoning you open should then be either finished off, carried around with you until you have, or thrown away; no more leftovers from last night’s supper pulled out of the fridge and re-heated, however much you may enjoy them; regard all such as literally poison, because they could easily be just that; teach yourself how to cook for one, it can be something of a pain, yes, but is by no means impossible; quitcherbitching and live with it—you’re the one who decided living under the same roof as a shitlib psycho murder-bitch was a dandy idea, so just deal with it, genius
- Whenever you’re prepping, cooking, dining, or drinking at home, whether you’re alone or She’s nearby, continually check six; let your every action, movement, and behavior be conducted with the time-tested tenets of the Combat Pilot’s Survival Maxim foremost in mind: Head on a swivel; eyes always moving, scanning, sweeping; total SA (Situational Awareness)—many a fighter-jock owes his very life, literally, to those simple words of wisdom
- What, you mean you haven’t moved out already? Thou fool!
You have been warned, fellas; heed or bleed, you pays your money and you takes your chances. These dames ain’t playing around, so you’d best not be either.
1
1
- Entries
Bwahahaha