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Pre-debate prediction

First, though, allow me to present (via Stephen) a behind-the-scenes peek at Biden’s debate prep.

Not entirely sure if it’s real or parody; these days, it’s virtually impossible to tell.

Now for the prognosticatin’. Despite Pedaux Jaux’s inarguable, obvious infirmity, decrepitude, inability to walk, think, or speak intelligibly, the sad, sorry fact is that Trump has already lost; no matter what he says or does tonight, how brilliantly he may perform onstage, his opponent will be acclaimed throughout Enemedia as the clear winner.

Trump won’t be debating one person but three, all of whom loathe Orange Man Bad with a blazing passion. All Faux Jaux has to do to seal his
victory is show up, not fall down or wander offstage, and remain marginally calm and coherent for an hour and a half, and voila! Ladies and germs, we have ourselves a WINNAH!

If Trump so much as looks as if he’s about to land a knockout blow, his mic will be muted, every camera turned away from him and towards his drooling, cadaverous opponent. Whatever Trump IS permitted to say on-mic will be sliced, diced, and dissected immediately by the partisan moderators, who will eagerly explain to their audience of lowing cattle what that awful Nazi terroristic threat to “democracy” REALLY just said. Should Trump object or in any fashion attempt to defend himself, his mic will be shut off, the cameras trained again on the semi-sentient, doped-to-the-gills zombie grinning vacantly into them.

If deemed needful, the “moderators” will call in Biden’s SS detail to subdue the dangerous madman Trump by any and all means—up to and including nightsticks, saps, and an economy-sized blast of pepper spray full in the face. As the bleeding, unconscious Trump is carried off-camera to his Secure and Undisclosed prison cell to await indictment, trial, and conviction for the latest cobbled-up “crime,” Jake the Fake and Dana Gash will rush to the side of the unanimously-beloved ***“pResident”***, each impartial moderator hoisting one of Jaux’s withered, decomposing arms in celebratory salute of the near-effortless way Faux Jaux vanquished his abominable, habitually-violent, “democracy”-threatening foeman.

The “debate” after-party closes with the emergence of a chorus line of sag-bellied “transgender” Manwomen from the Stage Left(ist) wings to can-can at center stage, spectacularly bedecked in neon-dyed frightwigs, fishnet stockings, too-tight tye-died T-shirts above leather G-strings, exposed cock-n-ballbags prominently a-flounce and a-dangle for the delectation of all right-thinking debate attendees, their saucer-eyed, bewildered elementary-schoolers most particularly—the high-kicking, hairy-legged drag queens’ muddleheaded caricature of feminine pulchritude emphasized by metric tons of bizarre makeup.

Tomorrow morning, the “conservative” punditry will indignantly harrumph-harrumph over this intelligence-insulting traveshamockery, resulting in nothing of use. The day after, at most two, all will have been forgotten; the next Righteous Crusade will be taken up with alacrity, producing the selfsame results their show of Dudgeon Most High following the “debate” did—ie, none whatsoever.

The kiddy-diddler wins, the Donald loses, and that’s really all there is to it. The outcome was foreordained the moment Trump agreed to his subordinate role in the pre-rigged shitshow, reinforced by a surfeit of outrageous, unfair conditions under which it was to be conducted in the bargain.

Update! I must admit, I like the Bee’s predictions a heckuva lot better than mine.

The Babylon Bee’s 100% Accurate Predictions For Tonight’s Debate
Excitement for tonight’s presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden has already reached a fever pitch, and The Babylon Bee is here to cover it all — and tell you what will happen. Years of battle-hardened journalistic expertise and election coverage have yielded the following list of totally accurate predictions for tonight’s debate to give you a heads-up of things to watch for:

  1. Biden will go the full 90 minutes without blinking: Meaning he’ll be completely dialed in and not under the influence of any chemical substances whatsoever.
  2. Trump will make up 13 new nicknames for Biden throughout the evening: Biden will respond by reciting the 13 new indictments for Trump that his team has made up in the last week.
  3. Biden will utter the phrase “convicted felon” at least 384 times: It may not always be intelligible, but he’ll say it.
  4. FBI agents authorized to use deadly force will raid Trump’s podium midway through the debate: Somebody said that Trump has been storing classified documents next to a spare putter in the podium he’ll be using.
  5. Biden will respond to a question by asking Obama to please stand up and be recognized: He’ll be pointing to a random black man in the crowd, of course, but it’s the sentiment that counts.

Why yes, of course there’s more at the link. Why do you ask?

Updated update! It only just now occurred to me that, having mentioned the Manwoman supporting cast dancing the can-can in riotous celebration of Biden’s Big Win, the perfect opportunity for an apposite musical interlude presents itself.

Now for a good brain-bleach scouring with a steel-bristled brush, to erase the disturbing, gorge-raising mental image of a bunch of flabby, inadequately-attired Manwomen cavorting onstage from it.


7 thoughts on “Pre-debate prediction

  1. I didn’t watch figuring watching a video of someone beating a puppy wouldn’t be as bad. Props to my wife who did watch, said ti would be a bloodbath, and from what I see/read, quite correct. It seems it was worse than anyone expected.

    The only question left is – Was it done just to poke us in the eye or to speed up the replacement stage?

    1. I’ve seen it mentioned in a cpl-three places that Bribem had clearly been coached on infuriating Trump, whereupon OMB would be goaded into a total flip-out, thereby shattering at least some portion of wavering Trump supporters’ confidence and trust in him. Those same places say that, possibly owing to there being no audience present to distract him or trigger his performative and combative instincts, Trump maintained his equanimity quiet well, thanks.

      That said, I still expect Enemedia to go all-out balls-to-the wall trying to turn chicken shit into chicken salad nevertheless, in hopes of persuading the most biddable, easily-manipulated Sheeple in their viewing audience that, as ever, Trump is a dangerous, corrupt serial rapist, election-denier, America-hating revolutionary, and unrepentant multiple felon.

      Plainly, the obscenely wealthy, evil thug is unfit for office in ways that the honest, decent, caring family man and dedicated public servant Biden just, well, just isn’t. Which con-job won’t be at all difficult to pull off, seeing as how most of the D卐M☭CRAT stupes and dupes already believe it anyway, always have, and always will.

      1. No one believe the idiot figurehead is in control of anything, so there is no panic other than how it effects the ability to steal the next election and maintain to the party faithful* that are not corrupt, that the process is still honest.

        *your neighbors, fools yes, brainwashed to believe the BS

  2. It was pathetic and embarrassing – and he’s the one controlling the nuclear weapons – the “button”… It was like Elmer Fudd debating General George S Patton. I’d be surprised if the 25th Amendment weren’t invoked sometime between now and Inauguration Day, almost 7 months from now…

    1. And yet the 25A would not release the delegates to an open convention and Biteme would STILL be the Nominee.

      I said there was a possibility if he didn’t step aside they’d kill him and I still believe they might.

  3. BTW did anyone watching notice the time Trump called Biteme ‘Brandon’?

    I don’t know what he just said there and I don’t think he knows either.

    I’ve seen your swing Joe and you’re not a 6…

  4. It seems clear the “debate” was just the setup to release the idiots from supporting the imbecile figurehead. Can’r be long before the democrap party replaces FJB with some other imbecile.

    The question I have is do we see a real power struggle occur in the deep state? I suspect it is just beginning…

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