Climate Change (formerly Global Warming, formerly Global Cooling, formerly The Weather)™ is officially o-v-e-r OVER, there’s no longer either need for nor use in worrying about or even mentioning it ever again. Mark it on your calendars, folks, because as of yesterday, June 22—according to “a top climate scientist” as quoted by a moderately well-known teenager with some neurodevelopmental issues, which affliction she prefers to refer to as “her superpower”, in the grand old shitlib tradition of comforting self-delusion—it is too late to do anything to save ourselves, like eliminating all usage of “fossil fuels.”

Nope, no use in even trying now; we’re all as good as dead, and that’s flat. Homo sapiens sapiens entire is absolutely, positively headed for the bone orchard, probably sooner than later, although no specific date has yet been given for the Big Die-off. According to Teh SCIENCE!™, the extinction of all humanity is now a dead cert, and completely irreversible. So,  y’know, act accordingly. Might as well throw a big party, that’s what I think.

Of course Greta Thunberg was wrong about fossil fuels
Climate activist Greta Thunberg tweeted five years ago that catastrophic climate change will wipe out humanity unless the world forgoes fossil fuel usage and ceases consumption. 

But to Thunberg’s dismay, her prediction didn’t exactly pan out. On the contrary, realizing this, she quietly deleted her tweet in March in anticipation of Wednesday’s anniversary. While gone, it forever lives in our hearts as a reminder not to fret over reactionary, alarmist predictions.

Aww gee, I sure do hate it for the wee on-the-spectrum harpy. The heart bleeds just thinking about how very disappointed she must be; the Climate Change (formerly Global Warming, formerly Global Cooling, formerly The Weather)™ religion has seduced, then betrayed another True Believer by dumping another tremendous letdown on her poor addled noggin. Since, according to her own forecast, there’s no longer any use in scolding everybody else about the goddamn climate, wonder what she might be planning to do with the rest of her life now?

How was Greta wrong? Let the WashEx count the ways.

In fact, humanity has sustained itself today due to continued fossil fuel usage, not in spite of it.

Let’s begin with oil, which is often blamed for our societal woes. Despite being assigned a dirty image by preservationist environmentalists, it’s the lifeblood of civilization and an essential resource here in America. Could you imagine our first-world society without oil? Life would be miserable, uncomfortable, and harder. Petroleum and its byproducts are ubiquitous in our daily lives. We fuel our cars, boats, and homes with it. Our clothes are derived from it, as are our cellphones and computers. It’s inescapable. Why get rid of it?

Another unappreciated energy source is natural gas. It’s arguably a clean-burning fuel that produces lower emissions. During the Trump administration, the U.S. became a net exporter of liquefied natural gas ( dubbed “molecules of freedom”), propelling our nation into energy independence while continuing to lead the world in overall emissions reductions.

Natural gas stoves, for example, are found in over 40 million homes and are preferred by 90% of chefs . Why? They boast faster conduction rates, make meals tastier, and are more economical to use compared to electric stoves. But these benefits, sadly, haven’t stopped many elected Democrats — along with the Department of Energy and the Consumer Product Safety Commission — from trying to phase them out through unrealistic “electrification” efforts.

Last but not least is coal, a common scapegoat of environmentalists despite it being an abundant domestic energy source.

Coal is undoubtedly reliable for heating and powering homes. Globally, it remains the top source of electricity generation and will remain one for years to come despite nations, including ours, closing down plants and curbing its mining. Additionally, there are myriad nonenergy uses, such as cement production, medicines, and carbon fibers. Metallurgic coal also happens to be a key component to steel, a popular building material.

Coal, oil, and natural gas cumulatively supply nearly 80% of American energy. This industry also supports nearly 13 million jobs and pumps billions into the economy. Additionally, continued use of these resources will help families save an average of $2,500 a year in energy expenses. And paradoxically, fossil fuels make intermittent clean energy sources such as solar and wind possible.

To be fair about it, I guess we really shouldn’t be so hard on poor little Greta the Greenhouse Grinch; after all, she’s but the latest in a long, “distinguished” line of auto-beclowning Leftard enviro-nuts whose we’re all gonna DIIIEEEE!!! screeching and preaching didn’t exactly pan out.

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