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Pronoun me no pronouns

CNN shits the bed, as usual.

How to get people’s pronouns right and what to do if you slip up

Don’t give a greasy shit; ain’t never gonna give a greasy shit; have no interest in so much as being in the same area code as the kind of batshit mental defective who’d insist I SHOULD give a greasy shit. Period fucking dot.

Personal pronouns are the words used in place of specific people, places or things. Pronouns such as “me, myself and I” are how people talk about themselves, and pronouns such as “you, she, he and they” are some pronouns that people use to talk about others.

A person’s pronouns are the third-person singular pronouns that they would like others to use for them. Personal pronouns are used to convey a person’s gender identity and don’t necessarily align with the sex a person was assigned at birth.

The most common third-person singular pronouns are “she/her/hers” and “he/him/his.” “They/them” can also be used to refer to a single person, while some people use gender-neutral or gender-inclusive pronouns like “ze/hir” (pronounced “zee/here”) instead.

Please reread the statement above. Thank you.

It matters what pronouns you use for someone

Agreed, emphatically. The options for accurate use of those pronouns are limited strictly to two (2): He/her, she/him, etc etc. All else is horseshit of the purest ray serene, amounting to unnecessarily kowtowing to the specious fantasies of the mentally ill, the twee, and the overly-affected and/or pretentious. Which, that ain’t ever gonna do any good or be of any help to anybody; it would be a more productive use of one’s time trying to teach a pig to sing. And you know what they say about that.

Okay, enough of that goofball CNN crap. Buck Throckmorton, for his part, says he’s all about the verbs.

This inspires me. Just differently. If Demi can have plural pronouns, then I can have plural verbs.

Using the pronouns that a person goes by is a way of respecting that person’s gender identity, meaning a person’s emotional and psychological sense of their own gender.

I’m starting to get it. While “my verbs” might be unrelated to my gender, I am still a very special person who is uniquely me. My emotional and psychological sense of my own special identity is such that verbs used by the rest of you are not satisfactory to me. In fact, your verbs are repressing me.

If someone tells you that they go by the pronouns “they/them,” for example, and you continue to use “he/him” pronouns for them, it can signal that you believe that transgender, non-binary or intersex people are unimportant, or shouldn’t exist.

And the same goes for me and my verbs! When ignorant bigots continue to use a singular verb when talking about me, even though my verbs are always plural, you are telling me that I am unimportant. Or worse, that I don’t even exist to you.

But by the way, I do have special pronouns too. Instead of “he/him” my pronouns are “him/he.” This applies to the reflexive version too, “heself” instead of “himself.” Whenever you would normally use the word “he” when referring to me, you must use the word “him” instead, and vice versa.

Grammar snobs might protest that “him” cannot be the subject of a sentence and “he” cannot be the object of the preposition. Sorry, grammar snobs, but that train left the station when our elite media embraced the transgender lobby’s boutique language agenda.

So how do you use my pronouns? Here’s an example: “Buck said that him will never buy he-self an electric vehicle.”

Now let’s put it all together. Here’s an example of how to talk about me using my verbs and my pronouns.

“Have Buck bought he wife an anniversary gift, and do him have a plan if she wants he to consider buying a Tesla?”

It’s that easy. Just educate yourself.

Heh. Sorry to Oppress™ you and all there, Buck ol’ boy, but that second example sounds a heck of a lot like Ebonics to my ign’ernt cracker ass. Probably just me, I know.


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