The continued existence of this site depends entirely on contributions from its readers. If you're able to, please consider donating or subscribing to CF. Thanks!



O-ring failure

According to Regbo, that’s the official nomenclature for this phenomenon, at least among Naval aviators. Which appears to be a lot more common than we cake-eating civilians would like to think.

‘I need a cleanup crew’ — Navy pilot describes crapping his pants at 30,000 feet

Sometimes when nature calls, there’s just nothing you can do about it. Like if you’re sitting in the cockpit of an F/A-18F fighter jet, cruising along at 30,000 feet, and your body decides that now is the time to evacuate your lunch of lobster and coffee.

Published at The Autopian early this year, naval aviator Bobby Mackay recounted in detail just what that is like.

During a deployment to the Arabian Gulf, Mackay was piloting an F/A-18 during a late night training mission to practice employing High Speed Anti-Radiation Missiles.

As Mackay wrote, he had spent the afternoon dining on steak and lobster, as well as plenty of coffee, and had already taken care of some pre-flight “‘bubble guts’” to avoid a situation like, say, shitting oneself in the cockpit. Mackay’s digestive system apparently had other plans.

“As soon as we started accelerating at about three times the force of gravity, I felt something move in me,” he wrote. “When I took the controls I immediately had the thought that this might be a long hour and a half.”

Mackay first used several relief bags to urinate, but that was apparently just the beginning.

“‘Dude, I think this might be the night. I have the bubble guts and I need you to put your mask on,’” Mackay told his weapons officer, who was seated in front of him in the cramped, and very sealed, cockpit.

After a fruitless attempt to maneuver in the cockpit and create a makeshift relief bag, Mackay was left with no choice but to just let it all out.

“I simply relaxed, and let the warmth spread across my seat. It was so hot, it felt like a hot tub. It bubbled and oozed and was revolting but strangely comforting,” wrote Mackay.

Momentarily relieved of his gastrointestinal distress, Mackay of course now had to alert the aircraft carrier of the sticky situation onboard the plane. Recalling an older incident in which a pilot tried to remain vague, Mackay chose the blunt approach.

“I simply said: ‘This is the pilot in aircraft 202. I shit my pants. I need a cleanup crew.’”

MacKay went on to bolter on his first attempt to trap back aboard the carrier, and wound up suffering a secondary assault, so to speak. But even then, he still got off pretty light compared to Reggie’s B/N who, on a tanker hop back when Reg was still flying A6’s, suffered “O-ring failure” on launching from the carrier deck. No surprise that such a thing might happen, given the extreme physical stresses brought on by being violently hurled off the end of a moving ship by a powerful steam catapult.

The problem being, on a tanker hop you fly circles above the carrier for four-five hours, waiting to gas up the returning fighters before they hit the deck. Reg said his poor B/N was in a most pitiable state by the time they trapped, his delicate nether regions having been marinating in stomach acid—which is actually, y’know, hydrochloric acid, no foolin’—for all that time. By the time they helped him out of the cockpit, the guy was literally weeping from the pain of it.

(Via CBD)


2 thoughts on “O-ring failure

  1. All long flights in aircraft are subject to such. I know a couple of sailplane pilots that were on distance and altitude flights that decided no way they were stopping…

  2. This is why Step One for Shuttle and later astronauts is donning the adult Depends©, made famous by the batshit crazy astro-chick driving all night thusly prepared a few years back, on a road trip to whack her astronaut ex-bf’s new squeeze.

    What goes in, must come out, and if you aren’t eating peanut butter, sooner or later you’re going to have an accident.

Comments are closed.

Latest Posts

Latest Comments

CF Archives


Comments policy

NOTE: In order to comment, you must be registered and approved as a CF user. Since so many user-registrations are attempted by spam-bots for their own nefarious purposes, YOUR REGISTRATION MAY BE ERRONEOUSLY DENIED.

If you are in fact a legit hooman bean desirous of registering yourself a CF user name so as to be able to comment only to find yourself caught up as collateral damage in one of my irregularly (un)scheduled sweeps for hinky registration attempts, please shoot me a kite at the email addy over in the right sidebar and let me know so’s I can get ya fixed up manually.

ALSO NOTE: You MUST use a valid, legit email address in order to successfully register, the new anti-spam software I installed last night requires it. My thanks to Barry for all his help sorting this mess out last night.

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit.

Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) won't.

Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar.

Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

Ye Aulde CF Blogrolle–now with RSS feeds! (where available)

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

Subscribe to CF!

Support options

Shameless begging

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:

Become a CF member!


Email addy: mike-at-this-url dot etc
All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless specified as private by the sender

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media: A few people worth following on Gab:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Claire's Cabal—The Freedom Forums


"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
Daniel Webster

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill.”
Charles Bukowski

“A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him.”
Ezra Pound

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”
Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.”
John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves."
Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged."
GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free."
Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved."
Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil."

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork."
David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"If the laws of God and men, are therefore of no effect, when the magistracy is left at liberty to break them; and if the lusts of those who are too strong for the tribunals of justice, cannot be otherwise restrained than by sedition, tumults and war, those seditions, tumults and wars, are justified by the laws of God and man."
John Adams

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine."
Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.”
Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it."
NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in."
Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Finest hosting service

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS feed

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

Copyright © 2024