Douchebag of the Week all Eternity

A total shoo-in—a perennial favorite, selected by unanimous acclimation, no doubt. Time now to retire the title, I should think.

If one were to look up the word “bland” in the dictionary, you might find a picture of Mitt Romney next to the definition.

If one were to imagine that “obsolete” had a face, it might look like Mitt Romney.

If one were to investigate the origin of the term “non-entity”, Mitt’s name might come up more than a few times.

There is no better indication of a man’s decline — in the moral, ethical, and practical senses — than the following statements:

Ann and I both extend our congratulations to President-elect Joe Biden and Vice-President-elect Kamala Harris. We know them both as people of good will and admirable character. We pray that God may bless them in the days and years ahead.” (November 7, 2020)

America is in denial. Too many Americans are blithely dismissing threats that could prove cataclysmic…President Joe Biden is a genuinely good man…” (July 4, 2022)

In between those two gems of delusion there are a spate of quotes that describe Joseph Robinette Biden as everything from a man of integrity to the best thing since penicillin, and I could be here all day reprinting slobbering love quotes from Romney all attesting to the character and all-around swell-ness of the man who once stood on a stage and accused Romney of wanting to reintroduce slavery, of being a misogynist, and of personally giving another human being cancer.

If Dingbat Joe is your BFF, Mitt, he certainly has a strange way of showing it.

The safest place on Planet Earth, it would be appear, is in Mitt Romney’s face, insulting him. In the event of nuclear war, I intend to find the Senator and take cover under the shelter of his enormous lack of good sense.

And you, Mitt, will always have the singular distinction (one could make the argument that Hillary Clinton may be co-title holder) of having lost to two men who will forever occupy positions 1a and 1b on any future “Worst Presidents in American History” list.

In retrospect, the best quality of Barack Hussein Obama is that he at least showed no interest in doing the work that came with the job, and so the damage was limited to bloviation, race-hustling and going on taxpayer-funded vacation every other week.

In the case of the Delaware Dullwit, however, the fact that the man couldn’t tie his own shoes, on a good day, has made him the perfect catspaw for a slew of destructive and incomprehensible policies and pronouncements that have begun the paving of the proverbial road to Hell.

If only…IF ONLY…you had managed to defeat perhaps the weakest candidate EVAH to run in 2012, Willard, we might have managed to dodge this particular runaway torpedo. You couldn’t beat a Barack Obama saddled with a poor economy, the baggage that resulted from the ObamaCare fiasco, the apparent lack of enthusiasm for the job, the Mussolini-like venality and arrogance, and a track record of busted NCAA brackets, to achieve the highest office in the land, and all that idiot had to run on was that you were somehow worse?

Even with your own, Massachusetts brand of government-not-provided healthcare to your credit?

And that he had Usama bin Laden shot in the fucking face?

If only Dick Cheney had been around…

If anything, the presence of such ineffective people — including yourself — sitting in the US Senate is a glaring piece of evidence that perhaps the institution has outlived its usefulness.

Indeed it is—one of all too many. Bad as all the above has to smart, there’s still a bounteous plenitude of stinging, painful opprobrium directed Mitt-wards at the link.

Update! I inadvertently omitted the greatest Mitt-related quote of all time, from the same source: “Mitt Romney is like a hemorrhoid: easily forgotten when it stays in its place, infinitely irritating when it decides to make its presence felt.” Heh.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
4 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
sigmadog

Retired graphic designer here going back to pre-desktop publishing days. I was forced to upgrade from Creative Suite 6 to Creative Cloud a few years ago and though I keep that evil subscription active for the occasional side project, I hate being forced to pay for Adobe programs I’ll never use Premiere, After Effects, Animate, etc.). That said, Creative Cloud does stay current with the MacOS, though they have constant and annoying upgrades about once a month.

I’ve heard that Affinity Designer is a good alternative to InDesign / Illustrator and I believe they may also have a Photoshop equivalent. They seem quite inexpensive, though I have no idea what the learning curve would be. If you have the inclination to get off the Adobe bloat-train, I’d check into Affinity products.

Cheers!

sigmadog

Whoops! Somehow posted this comment in the wrong post. Sorry!

That’s what I get for commenting drunk.

Jaybo

How does he survive in Utah? Only thing I can figure is Utah should have closed its border.

Comments policy

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit. Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) and...you won't. Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar. Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

Categories

Archives

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

Subscribe to CF!

Support options

Shameless begging

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters." — Daniel Webster

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.” – Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.” - John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves." -- Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged." - GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free." - Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved." - Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid." — Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil." - Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork." - David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." - Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine." - Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.” - Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it." - NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in." - Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS feed

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

Contact


mike at this URL dot com

All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless otherwise specified

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

Copyright © 2022