And suddenly, there may be a reason to care about the fucking Olympics.
Olympic Madness: Women’s Beach Handball Team Fined for Not Showing Enough Booty
“Madness”? Waitwaitwait a minute—is this guy saying he thinks showing more booty is a BAD thing?
Is it just me, or did the Olympics, once upon a time, actually have some credibility? Didn’t the Olympics used to be a gathering place for champions? A moment where nations shined and personal bests were achieved? The first stop on your way to a Wheaties box? I could swear it was not that long ago.
Credibility? From everything I’ve read over the years—which isn’t actually all that much, since I never did give a tinker’s damn about any fucking Olympics—and from what I saw living in Atlanta during the Olympics there back whenever the hell that was, the fucking Olympics have pretty much always been all about the corruption and graft, on the behind-the-scenes business end at least. Throw in whacking great gobs of gooey-eyed nonsense about “promoting international understanding and cooperation” and other such rot and it shouldn’t be too tough to understand my iron determination to avoid the whole emetic shebang.
That being said, can someone pinpoint for me exactly when the Olympics went from being something we all could believe in to the godforsaken sideshow it and the events that surround it are today? Can someone tell me why we should give more than 60 seconds of our time to whatever beleaguered media event is scheduled for Tokyo?
Not really, no. But I’m probably not the guy you wanna be asking.
The Norwegian Women’s Beach Handball team (and btw, what the hell is beach handball and when did it become an Olympic sport? What’s next, shuffleboard?) was fined $1,700 for choosing to wear shorts instead of bikini bottoms during competition. The team noted that the shorts were easier to play in, and I am reliably informed by an actual woman and not a “menstruating person” that during a woman’s period, bikini bottoms can be problematic at best, and disastrous at worst.
A measly 1700 clams? Hell, I doubt that will be anything like enough to get the Norwegian lassies back into the bikinis again, blast it. Although I will concede the point about the menstruation issue, if somewhat grudgingly.
Although the sanction was played down, the message is clear, whether the league officials approve it or not: People are expected to tune in to the Olympics to see scantily clad women, not athletes. Apparently, there is money to be made by blurring the line between sports fan and hormone-stricken teen. Or dirty old man.
NOW you’re singing my tune, buddy.
On the flip side, track and field Paralympian Olivia Breen was told at the English Championship that her shorts were too short.
Unpossible. Ain’t no such thing. Except on a fat broad, of course.
And as if that were not enough, another Paralympian, Becca Meyers, has withdrawn from the Tokyo games. Meyers is a swimmer and is blind and deaf. She was told she could not bring her caregiver with her. Did I mention that her caregiver is her mother? Never mind Becca Meyers’ needs or her dignity. Let’s get that blind and deaf girl in front of the cameras.
Okay, I will agree that does seem a pretty shitty thing to do. Pointless, petty, and self-defeating also, just a bonehead move all around. One wonders just what the hell those people were even thinking with that one.
So, the Norwegians are sanctioned for not showing enough skin—because, you know, sex and ratings and stuff. The Paralympians are sanctioned for being people and not merely disabled and checking the right box for the IOC, sponsors, and broadcasters. They have no value as athletes or as people. Once again, human beings are made into products.
So, for the sake of the Norwegian Women’s Beach Handball team, Olivia Breen, and Becca Meyers, when the Tokyo games begin, I would tell the IOC and whatever idiot legacy media outlet has the temerity to broadcast the games to go to hell. Go directly to hell.
Oh, I assure you I will be. The last few fucking Olympics came and went with me being completely unaware they were even going on at all, a streak I intend to extend by ignoring them again this year, or whenever it is these fucking Olympics are scheduled to take place. Not having to pretend I give a lumpy fart about the Games is a big ol’ win as far as I’m concerned.
One thing certain, whatever two bits worth I used to care about the Olympics is spent. Any team, or person, that disrespects the USA they represent I will pull against. I hope they lose and get sent home as early as possible.
Muahahaha. Beach volleyball. What’s next, Olympic Quarters or Beer Pong?
Wait. Wat? You’ve pretended to give a shit about the Olympics in the past? Why?
Olympics, meh. It has been all about the graft and corruption for decades.
As for women’s beach whatever and “sports,” anyone watching for the sport aspect would be watching men’s beach whatever due to the higher level of athleticism and performance. The women’s beach event gets TV ratings because of the scantily-clad extremely fit women. No TV ratings == no money, no money == no event. So if the ladies want to keep playing….
When I was a kid, back in the Cold War olden times, the Olympics were a family TV viewing EVENT. So were the Oscars and the major beauty pageants. Even my mom, who hated sports as a rule, would watch the Olympics with us, with the understanding that figure skating would naturally get top priority among the available broadcasts. The “narrative” of Us vs The Soviets gave the whole thing a plotline that really drew us in. It was the good guys vs the bad guys, and we really got involved in the drama. Now I see it all as very manipulative, but at the time we truly felt this was part of some sort of moral, even spiritual struggle.
When professionals started competing for the western nations, I lost interest. The amateur tradition gave an additional virtuous glow to the athletes, since we all knew the Soviets were effectively professionals, employed by the State for this propaganda performance. Beating them added a David and Goliath vibe to the competition. With the pros, though, the level playing field had the effect of removing the glory. Now it was just watching people work for a paycheck. Then came all the drug use and cheating, and it was impossible to have the same naive enjoyment we used to have. I’m so unplugged now I didn’t even watch the opening ceremonies yesterday; that used to be the sort of “What will they try to do this time?” spectacle that was good for an evening’s entertainment. I didn’t even remember they were on last night.
Well said Wanda. Brings up memories of the “Miracle on Ice”, from back when Americans played olympic sports.
The Men’s Hockey Team defeat of the Soviets was very entertaining. The first Dream Team was enjoyable because that was the Golden Age of the NBA, I knew all of the players from their College days. That included my alma mater’s native son and my theoretical classmate Chris Mullin. It was simply impressive how much beyond the competition they really were and really ended any argument that the Soviet victories over our College Amateur Athletes from the past were anything other than really hollow victories. We weren’t sending anywhere near our best.
What is really sad today is that I’d rather send our National Champion College Team rather than the pathetic Primadonna Kneelers who get beat by Nigeria in a pre-Olympics ” warm up” game. For the first time ever I’m rooting against Men’s Basketball and Women’s Soccer team from the USOC because they’re Not Team America, they’re Team Woke.
“For the first time ever…” With you there. And the NBA has been beaten, by France. Yes, the France in Europe,
“…my theoretical classmate Chris Mullin.”
LOL, I may be the only one that gets that…
He even had the same School in the University but different major!
They lost to France!! Sacré Bleu!!