GIVE TIL IT HURTS

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Life in the USSSA

The United Soviet Socialist States of Amerika, that would be. Not to be confused—not EVER, not on your life—with the FUSA.

Lucas Gerhard is a 21-year-old man. Instead of celebrating his graduation from Lake Superior State University in Sault St. Marie, MI, in the criminal justice field and looking for a job in law enforcement, Lucas is locked down in his father’s home, wearing an ankle bracelet.

Probably a good thing, getting this dangerous criminal off the streets, don’tcha think? I mean, I’m confident this young punk is a menace to his community, and to all right-thinking, decent Americans, right?

Lucas is an Eagle Scout and has no criminal record.

Oh. Well. Hrm.

Okay, at this point I think it only right to warn all CF lifers afflicted by high blood pressure or heart problems: from here on out, I personally guar-on-tee that this bag o’ dicks is gonna REALLY piss y’all off.

During his trial, the prosecutor attempted to paint Lucas as a threat to the school community, claiming that he had numerous “contacts” with Law Enforcement at LSSU.

Lucas’s father explained: “The so-called ‘contacts’ were made as a result of more anonymous calls to LSSU public safety, and an incident where Lucas’s car was vandalized and his rear window smashed out! Not a single one of those was what can be considered a negative or derogatory incident.  An example of one incident where a call was made was when Lucas was in his OCSO cadet uniform and carrying a bag of police training gear across campus to his communications class where he was giving a speech in law enforcement methods. The call was made as soon as he exited his dorm. The police were apparently told by the caller that they felt threatened by seeing Lucas when they saw him carrying riot gear. Note that LSSU is a school where a large majority of students are Criminal Justice majors! But Sault St. Marie police officers actually responded and pulled Lucas out of the classroom WHILE HE WAS GIVING HIS SPEECH to question him. His professor came out and told the officers that Lucas’s speech was pre-approved as well as the props he brought. The report noted that his explanation was accepted and no further action taken. I might add that every other time something like this happened, the result was the same. No action taken, either from Law Enforcement nor the College. The level of harassment Lucas endured there was astonishing.”

Lucas’s real crime was being an unashamed conservative college student.

The story we are about to tell you is truly one of the most remarkable cases of injustice you will ever read. It’s a story of how easily two intolerant, liberal students, with the help of the police, school administrators, and an overly zealous prosecutor, can cancel the life of a young man, all while trampling on his First and Second Amendment Rights.

Incredibly, unbelievably enough, that’s only the beginning of this bona fide horrorshow. It gets even worse.

Anybody out there whose initial response was to mutter something along the lines of “can’t happen here” is hereby strongly advised to wake the fuck up and smell what the Wokester commie ratbags are cooking. STRONGLY. Read the rest, if you can stand to. Mention is made of “making the snowflakes melt,” although Lucas was careful to aver to Johnny Law that it was actually “a reference to liberals whose brains ‘melt’ when faced with something or someone who expresses an opposing political ideology.”

Let me be the first to fling caution to the winds and state outright that it’s way past time some snowflakes were made to melt for real, physically and literally, by bringing the fires of Hell itself to bear on their sorry, smarmy asses. Before it’s too late, and they can no longer be stopped.

Totally, totally unacceptable, this is.

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