See if you notice anything, ummm, odd in this article about thankfully-now-banned Murder Toys. I’ll boldface certain passages to help out.
7 Absurdly Dangerous Toys That Your Parents And Grandparents Probably Got For Christmas
From a science kit that contained uranium to a toy gun that generated fireballs, these dangerous toys would launch a thousand lawsuits if they were released today.
Every generation looks back on its childhood toys with nostalgia. But the consumer products of yesteryear weren’t always up to today’s safety standards. On the contrary, the seven dangerous toys listed here show just how much times have changed.
Well, that last part’s true, at least. But maybe not in quite the way the author seems to think.
From 12-inch lawn darts that pierced the skulls of at least a dozen kids to “toy” guns now considered actual firearms in several American states, these toys from the past doubled as deadly weapons.
Older generations may bemoan increasing safety measures. But the waning popularity (or outright banning) of the seven toys listed below have undeniably saved countless lives.
Believe it or not, your parents played with these toys — and somehow survived to chuckle about it.
Okay, pal, which is it: “dozens,” or “countless”? Because one of those things is NOT like the other.
He goes on to wring his delicate hands over the “More than a dozen” kids who strangled to death after getting themselves tangled up in some poorly-designed mini-hammocks. That uranium-enriched science kit apparently had no deaths at all to raise its body count, and there are no hard numbers cited for any of the rest of the 7 Deadly Threats either. Which leaves the author’s ban-happy conclusion regarding these “vintage throwback to a less responsible time” open to debate, shall we say.
As for the other banned toys on this list, it’s certainly for the best that they’re no longer for sale.
Don’t get me wrong: a child’s life lost due to a damned toy—regardless of whether the thing was poorly thought-out, defective, or incorrectly used—is certainly a wrenching, soul-scarring thing, a tragedy I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Every parent whose child’s life ends too soon, from ANY cause, deserves our sympathy.
But government bans using such a small percentage of fatalities or injuries as justification should raise some serious questions in the minds of every one of us. There are larger issues at stake, involving who we are and what kind of country we wish to live in, and those questions merit careful consideration in their own right. Smugly dismissing the never-ending debate over freedom, self-determination, and government overreach as no more than a quaint artifact from “a less responsible time” just ain’t gonna cut it.