Like, right now. I won’t belabor the point by excerpting stories about the burgeoning riots and civil unrest you’ll no doubt already be aware of, and instead content myself with providing you three of the most heart-warming, feel-good Tweets you’ll ever see. First up: Probably best not to be playing the Knockout Game with cops, you dumbass bitch.
A woman in Baltimore just punched a cop in the face twice.
Don’t think she was expecting to get clocked in the head from behind… pic.twitter.com/XQMCLL3RHe
— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) May 30, 2020
Next: Monkey-boy shoulda probably paid closer attention when Mama warned him about the hazards of playing with matches.
Fayetteville, NC wild as hell pic.twitter.com/fSQ2qG44Z3
— tyler (@ihateyoutyIer) May 31, 2020
Last: Burn, baby burn! NO NO WAIT GODDAMMIT, I DIDN’T MEAN ME!!!
Life comes at you fast pic.twitter.com/JR79WQEyDv
— Daniel Collins (@danielc4liberty) May 31, 2020
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: The MPLS po-po just flat-out murdered George Floyd, no two ways about it. Those four abominable pigs of right ought to spend the rest of their lives enjoying the prison-laundry attentions of serial felons like Tyrone McCorkle, Dwahwnzell Jones, and Kwanzaaalicious Isaiah Faheem—ie, bent over an industrial dryer in the dimmest corner of the room being vigorously group-buggered, far from the prying eyes of any screws and/or trusties haunting the area.
I suspect that almost all fair-minded Americans felt the same about it too, more or less. As with the heinous Walter Scott case in Charleston a few years back, the pig in question took it upon himself to act as judge, jury, and executioner in a manner most abominable, and packing their asses off for a long, hellish term in the slammer is probably the absolute least they deserve for it.
Right up until the missing-link mouthbreathers in Minneapolis decided to forego real justice for Mo’ Free Shit, Yo and abdicated the mandate of Heaven by raiding Target for a few spare flat-screens, burning out their own neighborhoods, and just generally flinging shit around the place like a pack of rabid screech-monkeys. They had the firmest of grips on the moral high ground just for a second there, with an overwhelmingly solid majority of Americans behind them all the way, and instead of building on that foundation, they chose to take a steaming dump all over it instead. As seems to be their wont.
Yeah, I know, I know, I probably sound like the most irredeemable racist in all the Southland with the above. I would like take this opportunity to assure one and all that I do not give a single shit whether I do or not. I’ve spent many long years scratching my head trying to puzzle out stupid, bizarre shit like this, which seems to happen on a fairly regular basis—always in the same way, always with the same predictable result.
For example, you can look for much anguished libmedia breast-beating over the “food deserts” in Minneapolis’ smoking ghetto ruins three to five years hence, along with many weepy articles and TeeWee news items lamenting the inexplicable lack of jobs and economic opportunity in those same areas destroyed by the semi-sentient fools who have now trapped themselves therein. Blame for these and other “tragic” developments will be laid squarely at the feet of Whitey the Blue-Eyed Devil, in due course.
I assure you once again that I do not give a damp fart about any of that bushwa either. The morons made their beds. Soon enough, they’ll be forced to lie in ’em. Now let me see, where DID I put the world’s smallest violin, anyway? I got a tune I’d like to play for y’all on it…