More like an endlessly-metastasizing tumor, I think. Or a parasitical infection, like tapeworms, maybe. But still, the man…uhh, gorilla has a point.
I was thinking the other day that progressivism is like a virus. This is no doubt a bit of an oversimplification, but this is how viruses work: when they come in contact with a cell, they trick it into thinking it’s something they need, like a nutrient, so the virus gets pulled in. Once inside, the virus repurposes the cell’s DNA into making more viruses. The cell gets turned into, literally, a virus factory. Eventually, so many viruses will be manufactured that the cell will burst, releasing all of the new viruses to infect other cells.
You can see the parallels with progressivism. First, unlike a normal cell, which has a function as part of some larger organism and can reproduce itself, viruses can’t exist independently. They’re kind of like a parasite. Similarly, progressives don’t really do anything useful or productive.
Also, viruses don’t do anything except cause illness. I guess there are some viruses that have been indentified as beneficial, but not many. So, generally speaking, if you have a virus, it’s bad. And any time a progressive shows up and wants to do something or be in charge of something, it’s bad. When left unchecked, viruses will reduce healthy organisms to a sickly caricature of what they formerly were. Case in point: The Star Wars franchise. Or the State Department.
Second, progressives also gain entry into institutions and organizations by deception. They trick the unwary into opening the door for them by using words such as ‘peace’, ‘justice’, ‘equality’ and ‘fairness’ as if they are actually interested in peace, justice, equality, and fairness. Which they’re not. Everything they tell you is a lie.
GP goes on to lay out several more good points of comparison, winding up with this:
Finally, like most viruses, science hasn’t really found a cure for progressivism.
Well, maturity usually does the trick. As Churchill put it (or, possibly, didn’t): if you’re not a liberal at 20, you have no heart; if you’re not a conservative at 40, you have no brain. Failing that, a single dose of lead in a copper or steel jacket, topically applied to either the head or the Sniper’s Triangle area, would work nicely too.