Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

The gift that keeps on giving

Mark Coffey is having still more fun with mooonbats, this time via a Top Ten List of progressivist reaction to the devastating news. For myself, I’ve tossed off a quickie commemorative Photoshop:




Poor widdle moonbats; they want so desperately to believe, but reality just won’t leave them in peace.

Update! From the Cry Me A River files, here’s why they’re often called the Loony Left:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a look of misery and dejection on the face of my daughter as I just did a moment ago. She just couldn’t understand why the President would be going to Iraq when so many things are wrong in this country. “Doesn’t Mr. Bush care about us anymore?” she asked pitifully.

I sat down with her on the sofa and (as calmly as I could) tried to explain to her why the President seems to be abandoning his country. “Honey, I think his boss, Mr. Rove, sent Mr. Bush out of the country in order to keep himself out of the newspapers. You see, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be arrested today or not, and so he planned Mr. Bush’s trip ahead of time just in case…”

I tried to keep my voice steady, but it became increasingly difficult – the rage and feelings of helplessness were just too much. I think my daughter could tell something was wrong. I found myself at such a loss for words – nothing made any sense; nothing makes sense anymore. I finally had to admit, “Honey, I just don’t know – I don’t know what’s going on in this country anymore…”

Well, y’know, if it’s really all that bad for ya, and if you don’t know what’s going on in this country anymore, and if it really does seem to you that “nothing makes sense anymore,” perhaps it’s time to consider, just for a moment, the possibility of the merest fleeting chance of a hint of an idea that, umm, maybe, just maybe, the problem might be with you and not the wider world? That maybe, just perhaps possibly, peradventure, you ought to reconsider a few things? That mayhap you GOT IT ALL WRONG?

Nah. That just can’t be it.

When I finished her lower lip started to tremble and her eyes began to fill with tears, “Daddy” she said, “why are the Republicans doing this to the country?” Well, that was it for me: I finally fell apart. She just fell into my arms and we both began sobbing for several minutes.

For once she had to comfort me and get me back on my feet. Sometimes I just think it’s too much, but seeing the strength in my young daughter’s voice helped me to get through.

For crying out loud; Karl Rove gets cleared and half the damned country goes on suicide watch — and we’re the ones who’re fucked up, according to them. Jesus Christ, sweet pea, but grow some hair on it and get a life, whydon’cha. I guarantee you that if Rove had got himself indicted, I wouldn’t be losing a lot of sleep over it. I don’t think as great a catastrophe as John Kerry being elected President would have bothered me that bad.

Not that that will ever happen in a million fucking years, of course.

Oops. Sorry about that. Did I just make it all a little bit worse for ya? Gawrsh.

Nice to see people raising their kids right, though, by: providing such sturdy, worthy-of-emulation role models; instilling the belief that it’s the job of the President of the United States to protect, provide, and just by-golly care for us all; and finally, giving the kid a fine example of good mental health, appropriate ethics, and strength of character by breaking down completely when some minor Washington player doesn’t get accused of a crime.

Keep up the good work, freak.

(Via Goldstein, who somehow doesn’t seem overly concerned about this delicate flower’s pain either)

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10 thoughts on “The gift that keeps on giving

  1. Dude,
    That has got to be the funniest thing I have read in a long time. If it is true, this has to be the reason why a lot of kids are so screwed up these days. “Why are the Republicans doing this to the Country”? Man thats a classic

  2. Second. That post brought tears to my eyes.

    TEARS OF CRUEL LAUGHTER, that is.

  3. To paraphrase Yukon Cornelius.

    “Well, Fitz, lets See! GOOOOOOOOOOLD! *lick lick lick lick* NOTHIN!”

  4. The same person has posted that same comment almost verbatim more than once in the past, with a bunch of suckers responding to it with words of solace and solidarity.

    Which means that it’s either a completely unhinged lefty, or, a righty troll. Frickin’ hilarious either way though.

  5. What Dean said. Some dude named whisper collected all of CheChe’s prior postings and ticked him off good, pointing out that CheChe has some issues that need resolving.

    Not all moonbats bark, it seems.

  6. incidently, if you actually read postings at DU you will see some of the same lines there that are in CheChe’s piece. It would appear this chap took some of the best lines and bundled them together into one neat package.

    If that was done intentionally, it’s brilliant. If it was done accidentally, it’s a sign of inbreeding.

  7. I’m so glad I raised my little ones to be war-mongering, liberal hating right-wingers. Whenever we see a car with a skerry sticker on it, we always point and laugh, telling the kids to look a the pussy liberal. Pathetic.

  8. “If that was done intentionally, it’s brilliant. If it was done accidentally, it’s a sign of inbreeding.”

    Oh, I’m pretty sure that one was intentional, Mikey. It reads like a perfect flamejob to me. If even the DKos inmates can recognize it as such, it’s gotta be pretty friggin’ obvious, subtletly not being one of their strong suits over there. The tell, I think, is the complete lack of unhinged, frothing rage. That’s totally out of character for those environs.

    Which didn’t make writing this post any less fun, of course.

  9. I pity those kids and Bush has nothing to do with it.

    That is, if that is real and not a glurge wrenching make-up job by the lefty in question.

  10. I still think, that, based on the graphic, that Yukon Cornelius deserves a shout out.

    Shame! SHAME! I say!

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