Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

“Take the streets”

Go ahead and try, you fat schlub.

The federal government’s former ethics czar says he is “stocking up” on “gear” in order to “take the streets” in the event that President Trump removes Robert Mueller as special counsel.

“I’m concerned the assault on the rule of law is coming over the holidays when we’re distracted. It‘ll be a defining moment for the Republic,” Walter Shaub wrote on Twitter on Friday.

Backwards, boyo: the assault on the rule of law has been going on for a year, and is what canning Mueller and ending his fishing expedition would put a quick halt to. But this blustering blowhard IS right about one thing: it will in fact be a defining moment for the (former) Republic. Or a redefining one, with any luck.

Aside: ethics czar? Wait, what, there is one? If so, this is clearly a department that needs to be one of the very first targets of Trump’s program of cutting government. Obviously, it has failed completely in its mission, is accomplishing nothing whatsoever, and amounts to nothing more than wasted dollars for a job that simply ain’t getting done. Its demise would be noticed by no one other than those who “work” there, whose busy day consists mostly of two-hour lunches followed by three-hour naps.

Shaub, an Obama appointee who quit his position earlier this year in protest against Trump, circulated a advertisement for an event sponsored by MoveOn.org, the left-wing activist group.

Of course. Of fucking course.

Elsewhere in the article, (rump)Schwab busies himself denying that any threat of the Left’s usual violent rioting is either expressed or implied by his pledge to “gear up and “take the streets,” which I’m guessing he’s actually being truthful about. I mean, looking at the picture of the bloated bureaucrat, he wouldn’t be capable of marching much of anywhere at all, far less kicking any ass should he manage to get to wherever it is he thinks he’s going.

I’d guess attempting (not that he ever would) no more than half a flight of stairs without the assistance of several stout fellows would leave Blaub in extremis similar to Hillary!™s famous life-or-death staircase struggle: huffing, puffing, and blowing like the Big Bad Wolf—clutching his chest for several agonized minutes, sweating right through his cheap suit, and frenetically punching up 911 on his ketchup-glazed cell phone for an ambulance.

Hell, any “march” less leisurely and more demanding than the one from the back of the line at Burger King to the cash register just might croak him. Mercifully, his several chins could be counted on to cushion his fall and protect his face somewhat should he keel over, allowing for an open casket should they find one oversized enough to suit. Cramming Schlob’s corpulent carcass into the meat wagon after his thunderous collapse might pose a bit of a problem, yeah, but I’m sure the local paramedics have seen this guy in similar straits before, and have developed strategies for coping with it by now. They may even have found room in the county budget for a forklift, who knows.

But hey, he’s got the younger, better-conditioned millennial AntiFa fascists to rely on for all his thuggery needs, right? They can attack individuals in packs and break stuff as usual, then he can deflect all the blame onto them if asked; the media can sweep the melee under the “mostly peaceful” puff-piece rug, and all will remain well in Liberal Land.

“Take the streets.” Oh, sure. Anytime you feel froggy enough, big boy.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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