If this keeps up, I’m going to need to dig out the ol’ thesaurus to find an alternative to the word “dementia,” because we’re all going to be sick of that one.
Comey’s not going to charge Hillary? What a stand-up guy! The very model of a dedicated public servant!
Comey’s re-opened the Hillary investigation? What a partisan hack! He’s just thrown the election to Trump! This is literally a police state!
Comey’s investigating Trump’s ties to Russia? Thank God! This career civil servant is all that stands between us and that fascist dictator!
Comey’s fingering Huma Abedin for forwarding emails to Carlos Danger? God, this Trump stooge won’t let up, will he?
Trump’s fired Comey? How dare he? This is a crisis for the integrity of our institutions…
As it turns out, he misspoke somewhat on the matter of Huma Abedin sending classified emails to her spambot penis of a hubby to print out during breaks from sexting middle-schoolers. Which is how we arrive at the brain-exploding scenario of Trump firing Comey for being unfair to Hillary. Boy, that Putin is always nine chess moves ahead, isn’t he?
He IS good, isn’t he? I mean, he must be: he has Trump in his back pocket, our national elections under his complete control, and driven the America-hating Left into paroxysms of patriotic fervor for the first time since…well, ever. That’s a record of accomplishment anybody might envy.