Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Al Greenleaf Wordsworth Whittier Tennyson Silverstein Gore


Al Gore has written some poetry. And it’s pretty good–except for the endings. Let me show you what I mean:

One thin September soon
a floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

That’s a little too artsy, Al. Here, let me help:

One thin September soon
a floating continent disappears
In midnight sun
If you’re going to leave the lights on all night
you’ll have to buy some carbon credits

Of course, you’ll have to buy Al’s carbon credits even if you turn the lights off. That’s the beauty of carbon credits. And of poetry about carbon credits.

I fixed the rest of these, too:

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune’s bones dissolve
just like the other bones
in Tipper’s crawl space

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly
Man, that Bill Ayers
sure can write

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning’s celebration
Did I mention
I invented lightning?

Unknown creatures
Take their leave, unmourned
Horsemen ready their stirrups
Too bad we banned horses:
non-native species

Passion seeks heroes and friends
The bell of the city
On the hill is rung
But no one could hear
a bell made from hemp

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools
That will be
$1.1 Trillion


And still the snowflakes fell
just as predicted
it must be “science”

Posted in Art!   

3 thoughts on “Al Greenleaf Wordsworth Whittier Tennyson Silverstein Gore

  1. See, this is a good example of why all poems should start out with

    “There once was a man from Nantucket.”

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