Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

A Problem of Grammar, and a Problem of Graham-er

We are told that the White House and the Senate are not going to call the ‘comprehensive’ immigration deform bill what it really is, which is an amnesty program. Sure, I could get into some criticisms of it. For one thing, when all those illegals file back tax returns, they’ll probably find out that they’re eligible for substantial tax credits – so we’ll be paying them to file back taxes. It’s kind of the opposite of how it works for the rest of us, but hey, they’re just honest hard working future Republican voters, right? (Stop choking on your Pepsi, Bannion). I could go on about how the bill will almost certainly contain a hardship provision, permitting the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to waive payment of the $5,000 fine, where they determine it would pose a hardship on the illegal alien – an easy showing to make, when you’re receiving tax credits because your ass is poor, or underreporting your cash income over the last 5 years. No, I’m not going to criticize. I’m going to try to help the Administration out here.

If you listen, there have been some really clumsy descriptions of what the bill is, what it will do. Y’know, if they actually get around to drafting it before the Senate votes on it – but that’s another story. I simply can’t stand to hear them keep referring to this as the “it’s not an amnesty bill.”

This cringe-inducing phrase is not unique. In fact, that kind of phrasing has a history in surrealist art. “This is not an amnesty bill” is strikingly reminiscent of Michel Foucault’s famous book, titled after one of surrealist painter Rene Magritte’s seminal works, “Ceci n’est pas une pipe” (“This is not a pipe.”)

Sometimes, a Pipe is Just a Pipe.

The joke of course, is that it isn’t a pipe, it’s a print of a pipe. But it’s a pipe too. Yet the treachery of this or any other image, something the surrealists explored and played with at great length, is that any image or label conveys the reality or true meaning of a thing portrayed only with great difficulty. For Magritte, the picture is only a picture of a pipe. We all know, however, the real underlying object is still a pipe, regardless of how it’s portrayed, and the picture is as near as we can come in representational methods, to depicting a pipe without producing a full scale model of it. Yet despite our knowledge about the situation, the cognitive dissonance is still quite irritating. And I think that’s why we’re all upset about the immigration deform bill. I think that if we could find a way to more accurately describe this bill, everybody would find it more palatable.

In keeping with the Surrealist spirit of Magritte, and the surreal thought modalities of the modern Republican Party, I’d like to help the Administration and its little buddies in Congress come up with a better label for this bill to reduce that painful cognitive dissonance (best illustrated by Arlen Spector’s comments that forgiving the lawbreakers will ‘restore the rule of law;’ try thinking about that in terms of clemency for murderers and rapists, and tell me how it non-enforcement works to restore the rule of law in the small beans crimes of illegal immigration and immigration document fraud.) Yes, we need to find a substitute for “This is not an amnesty bill,” or as it’s called in its native tongue, “Esto no es una cuenta de la amnistía.”

My immediate thought was that we should call it, “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Amnesty!” But that would play into the hands of the Administration’s opponents. So we need some better terms, preferably a catchy one-word portmanteau describing what this thing is. Here are my suggestions – and I hope Captain Ed is reading this, since he seems to have piped the bill on board his ship with honors.

– Shamnesty

– Flim-flamnesty

– LindseyGrahamanesty

– Scamnesty

– Goddamnesty

– Electorate-Can-Go-Pound-Sandnesty

The sad truth of the matter is, no matter how witty I try to be, this bill really doesn’t need a portmanteau to distill its fundamental essence. There is one word that describes it well, and even though it sounds like a portmanteau, it is not. A mere simple noun completely encompasses what Congress is about to do to us in a very thoroughgoing manner. I suggest you use this term to describe the bill in the future and will email Tony Snow and suggest that it’s a good alternative word that he can use in place of the term “amnesty” in describing the bill. What is that word, you ask?


[Update: I note with admiration that George Borjas – pronounced “jorj,” I presume, not “whore,hey,” describes the bill as a travesty of a mockery of a sham. While this is excellent, he fails to use the description in the form of a noun to describe what the bill is. That’s right. It’s a Traveshamockery. Still, he gets points for raising the issue broadly.]


I Got You, Beeb

“…this copious stream of pontifical, anonymous mugwumpery with which we have been dosed for so long.”–Churchill, on the BBC

The Telegraph:

Private Johnson Beharry’s courage in rescuing an ambushed foot patrol then, in a second act, saving his vehicle’s crew despite his own terrible injuries earned him a Victoria Cross.

For the BBC, however, his story is “too positive” about the conflict.

The corporation has cancelled the commission for a 90-minute drama about Britain’s youngest surviving Victoria Cross hero because it feared it would alienate members of the audience opposed to the war in Iraq.

As usual, Ace nails it:

“Remember, these are the people who are always calling for entertainment and art that “challenges people’s beliefs.”

Except their own, of course.”

In fairness to the BBC, they do not have a blanket ban on sympathetic coverage of the troops at the front. For example, here’s a heart-tugging piece from Afghanistan by a Beeb reporter embedded with those brave, selfless warriors…of the Taleban.

From the Telegraph, here’s Pvt. Beharry’s story:

He was cited for “valour of the highest order” after he drove a Warrior tracked armoured vehicle through heavy enemy fire in May 2004 to come to the rescue of a foot patrol that had been caught in a series of ambushes. The 30-ton Warrior was hit by multiple rocket-propelled grenades, causing damage and resulting in the loss of radio communications. Pte Beharry drove through the ambush, taking his own injured crew and leading five other Warriors to safety. He then extracted his wounded colleagues from the vehicle, all the time exposed to further enemy fire.

The following month, Pte Beharry was again driving the lead Warrior vehicle of his platoon through al-Amarah when his vehicle was ambushed. A rocket-propelled grenade hit the vehicle and Pte Beharry received serious head injuries. Other rockets hit the vehicle incapacitating his commander and injuring several of the crew.Despite his very serious injuries, Pte Beharry then took control of his vehicle and drove it out of the ambush area before losing consciousness. He required brain surgery for his head injuries and he was still recovering when he received the VC from the Queen in June last year.

There may yet be hope for England.

Churchill: “Nations which go down fighting rise again. Those who surrender tamely are finished.”

Who will tell the Admiralty?


The Seinfeld Sovereign


The question is not whether the British Navy can still defend Britain.

The question is not even whether the British Navy can still defend the British Navy.

The question is this: Is there such a thing as England, and if so, is it worthy of being defended?

Because in all cases the answers seem to be “No”, “Hell, no!” and “‘Winston’ who?”.

While British officialdom could not be bothered to prevent its sailors from being kidnapped on the high seas, it did find the time to take other vigorous and vital law-enforcement action:

“The Daily Mail reported this week that police tracked down and nearly arrested an 11-year-old boy for calling a 10-year-old boy “gay” in an e-mail. This was considered a “very serious homophobic crime” requiring the full attention of police. The article explained that this sort of thing happens quite a bit. Last October, the coppers fingerprinted and threw a 14-year-old girl into jail for the crime of racism. Her underlying offense stemmed from the fact that she refused to join a class discussion with some fellow students because they were Asian and didn’t speak English.

The same day the Daily Mail reported the tale of the homophobic 11-year-old, it also reported that schools across the country have been dropping discussion of the Holocaust in the classroom for fear of offending Muslim students.”

In other words, an act of war such as piracy is fungible…but if a child says “gay” in a unapproved manner, it will get the police pounding on the door in short order.

British authorities are stealing that 14-year-old schoolgirl’s moral, cultural and national heritage from her–and yet she’s the one who is jailed?

But at least in jail, unlike school, she will not be subjected to the Soviet-style air-brushing of the Holocaust from the pages of history. This is, of course, tantamount to Holocaust Denial.

Note to British educators: Why not just have Hitler Appreciation Days and be done with it?

It’s interesting; in the game of geopolitics, Bush is the Left’s Designated Hitler. Yet for Ahmadinijad, to call someone “Hitler” is a compliment. One can easily imagine this conversation:

MICHAEL MOORE: “George Bush is evil.”
MICHAEL MOORE: “He’s a war-mongering bastard.”
GEORGE GALLOWAY: “Indubitably.”
AHMADINIJAD: “Also true.”
MICHAEL MOORE: “And Tony Blair is his poodle.”
GEORGE GALLOWAY: “Quite so…’Arf’!”
AHMADINIJAD: “Again, you speak truly.”
MICHAEL MOORE: “George Bush is Hitler and Blair is Mussolini!”
GEORGE GALLOWAY: “Indeed! ‘Seig Heil’!”
AHMADINIJAD: “No. Hitler and Mussolini were great, great leaders, the Holocaust never happened…and we should do it again!”
MICHAEL MOORE: “Uhh…George Bush is evil!”

The speed with which the hostages made propaganda videos was also disheartening. Recall that John McCain had his arms broken rather than submit. Also recall that this is a clear violation of the Geneva Conventions to which Iran is a signatory–although the press dutifully failed to report it.

Still, one doesn’t wish to judge those young sailors too harshly–it’s almost as if their superiors had never informed them of the concept. Theirs is the real crime.

One doesn’t defend that which one doesn’t love. Or stated positively, one defends only that which one loves. We see that British authorities will defend their beloved homosexuality. They will defend their beloved multicult-ism even to the point of instituting a de facto curriculum of Holocaust Denial. And they will not defend their sailors in harm’s way.

Taken as a whole, one gets the impression of a nation hell-bent on national self-deconstruction.

I hope I’m wrong. I like the idea of an England. An England that gave us Churchill and Benny Hill, Maggie Thatcher and Monty Python, crumpets, strumpets and heraldic trumpets, Chesterton and Cheshire Cats, Black Watch and black humour, Holmes and hobbits, Burke and the Beatles.

Pre-Yoko, of course. And “Silly Love Songs”.

I hope…but I fear the Long Goodbye. But it is Easter. So hope it is.

UPDATE: I almost forgot, because the banal, work-a-day smears have become so forgettable…but wasn’t this supposed to be a plot by the British to give Bush his “Gulf of Tonkin” moment?

The phrase is “Short-bus rider”–Google it.


Gathering steam

Yep, Fred’s my guy alright:

I think its time for a little plain talk to the leaders of Mexico. Something like:

Hey guys, you’re our friends and neighbors and we love you but it’s time you had a little dose of reality. A sovereign nation loses that status if it cannot secure its own borders and we are going to do whatever is necessary to do so, although our policies won’t be as harsh as yours are along your southern border. And criticizing the U.S. for alternately doing too much and too little to stop your illegal activities is not going to set too well with Americans of good will who are trying to figure a way out of the mess that your and our open borders policy has already created.

My friends, it’s also time for a little introspection. Since we all agree that improving Mexico’s economy will help with the illegal-immigration problem, you might want to consider your own left-of-center policies. For example, nationalized industries are not known for enhancing economic growth. Just a thought. But here’s something even more to the point that you might want to think about: What does it say about the leadership of a country when that country’s economy and politics are dependent upon the exportation of its own citizens?

Sure kicks the crap out of that “I’ll work hard to please my Mexican constituents” bushwa RINO George was inanely spouting from south of the “border” last week.

Run, Fred. Run.

Update! John Fund speaks with the man behind the movement. He’s the Juggernaut, bitch!


Who are you, and what have you done with our President?

RINO George: he’s everybody’s President!

“My pledge to you and your government, but more important to the people of Mexico, is I’ll work as hard as I possibly can to pass comprehensive immigration reform,” Bush said during a sun-splashed arrival ceremony that opened two days of meetings with Mexican President Felipe Calderon in this Yucatan Peninsula tourist haven.

Enough is enough. Impeach the bastard.

“We fully respect the right that the government and the people of the United States has to decide within its territory what will be best for their concerns and security,” (Calderon) said as he welcomed Bush. “But at the same time we do consider in a respectful way that” migration can’t be stopped with a fence.

Well, we’ll certainly never know as long as RINO George is in office, now will we?


Rescuing our enemies from their own folly — AGAIN


The US government plans to transfer $86.4 million to the security forces of embattled Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas in the coming days, senior Washington officials said on Friday.

What is it going to take to get RINO George to realize that these thugs are in no way our friends?

According to the officials, the funds will be earmarked to beef up the security around Abbas, and to fund the PA Chairman’s stated commitment to to dismantling the terrorist infrastructure within the Palestinian cities.

OHH, yeah. And I’m sure every last cent will be used exactly as they say it will; that the State Dept will be diligent about checking up on that; and that the Paleos will be rigorous in their accounting for it.

At this point, I’m thinking that what we really need to do is just postpone all activity in the War on Something or Other indefinitely, or at least until the next big hit on American soil — at which point maybe we can see to installing a leadership in this country that truly understands what it means to be AT WAR, and doesn’t have a problem risking being disliked because they publicly noticed who the enemy was, and in fact does not regard the terms “enemy” and “ally” as randomly interchangeable.

Exactly what is it you think you’re buying here anyway, George? Not even so much as a phony “peace”, certainly; even you can’t be that stupid:

Speaking to reporters outside his home in Shati refugee camp, (PA Prime Minister – ed) Haniyeh urged all Palestinian groups to halt the fighting and to use their weapons against Israel.

Against Israel — who, may I remind our Knot On A Log In Chief, is our only ally, and the only functioning democracy, in the entire region. And this money, American blood money, will surely help fund attacks against them.

But hey, maybe this time the Jew-hating liberals will finally decide you’re A-OK by them — right, George? Hey, maybe the NYT will at last say something nice about you. Maybe Congressional Dems will grudgingly give you points for your fairness and even-handedness to people who curse our very existence, and celebrate wildly every time large numbers of us are killed in the most grisly fashion imaginable.

Revolting, that’s what.

Update! And in a barely-peripherally-related installment of “Has the whole world gone nucking futs?!?”, Dan says:

If this was a diversion, as one scenario suggests, we can only hope that something even more dangerous wasn’t smuggled in. And if you need a better example of an alleged super power so hobbled by political correctness and weak political leadership that it can hardly protect itself, let alone wage a war – you may be waiting a long time for better than this.

Or, y’know, worse. Reach for the nitro tabs, bend over, grab your ankles, and read all about it. Anybody want to speculate on the possibility we’ll be hearing more about this one later…as part of some commission or inquiry or hearings or something like?

Didn’t think so.


How you do it

I’m not sure which is more amazing: that we appear to have forgotten the obvious lesson here, or the highly politically-incorrect choice of words acceptable back then:

Fifty-three years ago, when newly elected Dwight Eisenhower moved into the White House, America’s southern frontier was as porous as a spaghetti sieve. As many as 3 million illegal migrants had walked and waded northward over a period of several years for jobs in California, Arizona, Texas, and points beyond.

President Eisenhower cut off this illegal traffic. He did it quickly and decisively with only 1,075 United States Border Patrol agents – less than one-tenth of today’s force. The operation is still highly praised among veterans of the Border Patrol.

Influential politicians, including Sen. Lyndon B. Johnson (D) of Texas and Sen. Pat McCarran (D) of Nevada, favored open borders, and were dead set against strong border enforcement, Brownell said. (Dems standing up for illegal immigrants and against American security; some things never change — ed)

Then on June 17, 1954, what was called “Operation Wetback” began. Because political resistance was lower in California and Arizona, the roundup of aliens began there. Some 750 agents swept northward through agricultural areas with a goal of 1,000 apprehensions a day. By the end of July, over 50,000 aliens were caught in the two states. Another 488,000, fearing arrest, had fled the country.

By September, 80,000 had been taken into custody in Texas, and an estimated 500,000 to 700,000 illegals had left the Lone Star State voluntarily.

Mr. Coppock says he “cannot understand why [President] Bush let [today’s] problem get away from him as it has. I guess it was his compassionate conservatism, and trying to please [Mexican President] Vincente Fox.”

There are now said to be 12 million to 20 million illegal aliens in the US. Of the Mexicans who live here, an estimated 85 percent are here illegally.

As per usual, the complexity of the problem has been misrepresented and thereby disproportionately exacerbated, by people with no real interest in truly solving it. Like, say, our current President.

(Via Lastango)


TCB, the American way

Why wait till we’re forced to “Press TWO for English…” anyway?

FARMERS BRANCH, Texas – This Dallas suburb could become the first city in Texas to adopt a sweeping ordinance intended to keep out illegal immigrants, a cause for concern among its large minority population.

More than 50 municipalities nationwide have considered, passed or rejected laws banning landlords from leasing to illegal immigrants, penalizing businesses that employ undocumented workers and making English the local official language.

But until now, that trend hasn’t been matched in the Lone Star State.

“This is the first town in Texas that had the guts to do what’s right,” Susie Hart, who grew up in Farmers Branch, said during a recent demonstration outside City Hall. “The education system is tanking, health care has gone through the roof, everybody is bilingual.”

Critics fear the spread of anti-illegal immigration rules will lead to sanctioned discrimination and racism.

“It’s basically saying those people are illegal in their very nature; it is all right to be against them because they are lawbreakers. Many people are assuming that all immigrants are lawbreakers, and that people who are different, who speak a different language, are to be shunned,” said Cesar Perales, president and general counsel of the Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund.

Nobody assumes that “all immigrants are lawbreakers,” or any of the rest of that stupid liberal cant. The only ones we “assume” are lawbreakers are the ones who, y’know, have BROKEN THE FUCKING LAW, you sneaky, disingenuous creep.

And with that, I’m inaugurating a new immigration-issue category: Press Two for English.

(Via Lastango)




"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil." - Skeptic

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine." - Joseph Goebbels

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