Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

Wait, what?

You know a certain threshold for something or other has been reached when Piers Morgan is a voice of sanity and reason.

British T.V. host Piers Morgan called out a climate activist about her lifestyle choices, which are not helpful for the planet, as protesters are staging demonstrations across the United Kingdom.

The ongoing protests has been organized by Extinction Rebellion, who want the United Kingdom’s Parliament to take action on climate change. Demonstrations include clogging roads and blocking bridges with their bodies and other big objects. 

Morgan asked Extinction Rebellion’s co-leader Skeena Rathor how she arrived to their studio. Rathor said a car sent by the station had picked her up.

When Morgan then asked her if she had a T.V. at her home and if her children use computers, Rathor said she did not think it was relevant to “the planet emergency.”

“Do you see the problem with all this? You go on about ‘My kids can’t get out of bed because they’re all so terrified,’ I’m not surprised they’re terrified because your mum’s telling them everyday the planet’s about to end, and yet, I bet your own carbon footprint, for all the stuff I’ve just mentioned is terrible,” Morgan said.

“So why don’t you give your computer, give up your television, give up your air conditioning, walk your kids to school, get a bike to the studio. Why don’t you practice what you preach?” he added.

The shrike’s response is every bit as feeble, self-serving, and pathetic as you’d expect.

Reynolds laid out one of his good, pithy rips a week or two ago (I have no link for it, sorry) noting that most of the Climate Change (formerly Global Warming, formerly Global Cooling, formerly “the weather”) tards were college kids, then going on to ask why, if the world is ending in ten or twelve years, they’d be staying in college at all.

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Northern California liberals finally get what they hope to inflict on the rest of us

Enjoy the 19th Century, asstards.

Will the last conservative to escape from Liberal Utopia please turn off the…oh wait, PG&E just did that for us. Maybe they’d be willing to consider making it permanent—y’know, f’r Gaia, duuuuude.

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Justice served to Social Justice Warriors

Get “woke.” Go broke.

Do you ever wonder what happens to someone after they self-destruct on national television or social media? We always see the explosion, but rarely the tragic consequences of their poor decision.

Remember Adam Smith?

He was the CFO of Vante, Inc. who decided to record his visit to the Chick-Fil-A drive-through window for a free cup of water, during which he tried to shame the female employee serving him for “working for a horrible corporation with horrible values” because Chick-Fil-A’s owners, the Cathy family, are devout Christians who support traditional marriage. Smith openly admitted that the only reason he had visited the restaurant was because the business would incur an expense for serving him and he wanted to hurt the company because of a personal political stance.

How did that work out for him?

At last report, Smith claimed to be homeless and living on food stamps after he was fired from his job making $200k per year and lost a million dollars in stock options after massive public backlash threatened his employer’s revenue stream. Smith wanted to hurt Chick-Fil-A, but ended up hurting himself and his own family. He wrote a book about the experience titled Million Dollar Cup of Water. At his personal website, Smith divides the story of his life into a five-part series, with the infamous Chick-Fil-A protest and gay rights being the last two segments.

It would be easy to feel sorry for Smith, except for two reasons I’ll talk about in a moment. After all, in two minutes the guy literally destroyed his own life, as he had known it. Not only was Smith fired from his job at Vante, he was also terminated at his next job when that employer realized Smith was the infamous “star” of the Chick-Fil-A video. It seems roughly the equivalent of kicking a man when he’s already down.

Yeah, fuck that “sympathy” noise. The obnoxious douchebag got exactly what he deserved; he brought his troubles on himself, and he’d happily do the same and worse to each and every one of us who dared to disagree with him if he ever got the chance. He can damned well stay homeless until he starves or freezes to death for all me. And if that complete lack of sympathy amounts to kicking him when he’s down, well, I’d be happy to kick him as many times as it takes to ensure he doesn’t ever get up again.

Until sane people are willing to see to it that the unacceptable behavior of our supposedly more evolved and enlightened adversaries carries a hefty price tag, we’ll go right on being harrassed, hectored, lectured, threatened, beaten, and shot by them. Stupidity should be painful; liberal-fascism, on the other hand, MUST be.

Just another story that makes a fella want to go out and get himself some more of that good ol’ Hate Chicken™, don’t it?

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“Whistleblower” unmasked!

Our ol’ pal Baldilocks has got the goods.

whistleblower-unmasked.jpg

Juliette also has a theory about this whole whistleblower/impeachment contretemps: she thinks Trump is behind all of it. Yeah, I know, I know, Nth-dimensional chess, stable genius, all that unlikely stuff everybody seems to be tired of and is pooh-poohing now. But hear the lady out.

The thing is this: it is probable that Donald Trump set this soap opera into motion and did so on purpose. What follows is my theory on how it went down.

Last week, it was reported that Secretary of State Pompeo was sitting in on the call between President Trump and Ukrainian President Zelensky.

After the call – or maybe before – the president tells Pompeo to get one of the latter’s people to drop some bait about the call in the presence of the right person — someone who is likely to spill the beans to the Democratic Party honchos.

This gets done and thus is born the “whistle-blower,” who so is excited about it that she doesn’t bother with the whistle-blower procedure. Instead, she runs to Congress in order pass the bait along to the other fish — especially to Adam Schiff — and they, of course, swallow it. What about the change to the whistle-blower statute regarding first-hand information? Trump changed that.

Why would President Trump do this? Simple. He knows that the Democrats have been after him since he announced his candidacy; they pre-conjured a reason for his impeachment, for Heaven’s sake. Therefore, he is forcing an impeachment at the time of his choosing rather than theirs.

Now, some might say that there’s simply no way Trump could be this wily, cunning, and slick. To that I say: based on what? Particularly after we’ve seen this uncut amateur nimbly outmaneuver his putative “betters” in the professional-politician Ruling Class time and time again? Baldilocks is a smart woman, for sure. But if she was capable of coming up with this, do you really want to argue that Trump isn’t?

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Ouch!

A righteous rip on Her Herness that stings like an enraged hornet.

With Bernie Sanders last seen in an ambulance and none of their other 2020 candidates looking like a proven national vote getter, it’s easy to imagine desperate Democrats turning to the former First Lady and two-time loser to save the party from a disaster she helped to create.

But when Hillary Clinton is the solution to your problems, your real problem might be problem solving itself.

If she does get in the race, Hillary will need a lot of money. At the moment that’s an issue, since many of the benefactors who were there for her in the past, are spread thin or—like Hollywood movie mogul Harvey Weinstein—sidelined by the #MeToo movement.

So until the field narrows and more funds are available Hillary’s working her blue-state base in community centers, churches, and lesbian bookstores while her publisher picks up the tab.

It has to feel a little like old times to the aging grifter. In 2000, she listened her way through every county in the state of New York before elbowing Caroline Kennedy aside to win a seat in the Senate. In 2008, she tried the same thing in her first run for the White House.

Even though Barack Obama proved to be the better con artist that year, Hillary was the first to cash in, turning her job as Obama’s secretary of state into the most lucrative pay-to-play operation Washington’s ever seen.

That’s one reason she lost the 2016 election to Donald Trump. Another was the fact that too many voters, for obvious reasons, found her “cold,” “aloof,” and “untrustworthy.”

This time things will be different, a familiar refrain whenever the Clintons are up to something.

And then it really gets vicious. And hilarious.

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Fed up, fighting back

How it’s fucking DONE, people.

Vegans Storm Spanish Rabbit Farm, Surprised When Farmers Fight Back
Videos of the activists show them covered in blood and their car windows smashed in.

And just like that, you know already this is going to be the feel-good story of the year.

Vegan activists stormed a Spanish rabbit farm this weekend, and were surprised when the farmers fought back when they attempted to steal their property.

A video posted to Twitter shows a British vegan activist with her face covered in blood, who goes on to detail why they are in such a state.

On the description of the original Instagram post, Mythical.Mia details what happened when they attempted to “rescue” 16 rabbits from the farm:

The farmer was extremely aggressive and attacked us, strangling activists and smashing their heads with metal poles. The police came and told us to leave peacefully, which we did. After we left the farmers chased us down the motorway at 200km for an hour. We tried to lose them down a side road but they were on our tails. They blocked us into a dead end and surround the car with 5 other farmers’ cars. They were banging on the windows, shouting and threatening us. We called the police who arrived after an hour. They diffused the situation and escorted us to a ‘safe place’. We asked them to escort us home but they refused and said we would be okay. They let us go and 10 minutes later back on the motorway one of their call pulled up alongside us and shot at us. The window exploded in my face and there was a lot of blood from all the glass. We’re currently at the hospital and waiting to go to the police station to report this crime.

I hold out little serious expectation of it, but I do hope the boys down at the cop-shop laughed their asses silly before tossing you out on yours, bint. Along with a hilarious photo of said whiny bint’s blood-spattered mug that’s guaranteed to inspire a frisson of sheer delight in sane sorts, there’s more good news from other places also:

A group of vegans in Argentina were also whipped and humiliated by cowboys, after they attempted to disrupt a rodeo event. A vegan woman in Australia also made headlines after she sued her neighbours for barbecuing.

I seem to recall reading another story the other day on that last brouhaha that mentioned the neighbors’ response to the wretched, whey-faced Aussie twat and her nuisance lawsuit: throwing a huge BBQ bash that wound up hosting over a thousand attendees. I ain’t gonna go pawing through the browser history to find it right now, but I desperately hope it’s true. They ought to hold one each and every damned Saturday henceforth, until the already-enfeebled vegan either busts a blood vessel and dies from sheer spastic rage, or moves the hell away to pester some other poor soul.

The moral of the story: the sole reason we now suffer these ever-more-outrageous encroachments on our rights, our liberty, and our very lives from such obnoxious idiots is that, for far too long, they’ve been allowed to get away with it unscathed—the most important and telling word in the above headline is, after all, “SURPRISED.” I just bet they were, and why wouldn’t they be? They’ve never had any of their own shit splashed back on them, by anybody. Not in many, many a year, they haven’t. Our indulgence has only unleashed their demonic insanity.

Plus, being Leftists, they simply cannot stop themselves from using each unanswered infringement as a springboard for the next—an eternal escalation which is written into Progtard DNA the world over. They cannot and will not be content until every dissenting voice is silenced, every dissenting opinion suppressed, and every dissident cowed, controlled, crushed. Maybe not even then, in truth.

All of which means that until we start seeing a lot more Lefty heads smashed with metal poles, strangled activists, and Leftists in high-speed car chases fleeing for their lives in leg-wetting terror, what we’re going to keep seeing instead is more and worse nonsense from them. None of us are happy about this sorry state of affairs, nor should we be. Being non-Leftists, all any of us Normals really want is to simply be left alone. But this is the corner they’ve forced us into just the same, and we’re never, ever going to be allowed out of it. That corner is going to get smaller and smaller, drawing in on us all with every successive Leftard win, until there’s no ground left for us to stand on at all. If we want out, we’re going to have to fight our way out.

So be it, then. Those stout Spanish farmers, Argie cowboys, and Aussie BBQers have shown us the way. It’s a pretty safe bet that the next larcenous “protest” held by pushy vegan “activists” will be a lot sparser attendance-wise; I expect the female Limey contingent in particular will find themselves with something a lot more pressing to do on that date next go-round. The farmers’, cowboys’, and BBQ fans’ sterling example ought to be followed to the letter hereabouts, lest we soon find ourselves in a much worse fix than we already are—with a much longer, harder, and more desperate fight to get out of it on our hands.

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Eat moor Hate Chicken!

I ask you, how can you not absolutely love this?

There is something magical and quietly hilarious about the ability of a fast food chain peddling chicken to arouse deep outrage from the alienated few and yet record-setting patronage by the greater public. Chick-fil-A manages to do the seemingly impossible: it enjoys the largest per store sales of any fast food chain, despite being closed on Sundays. And that religious observance is related to the hatred directed at it from those who resent its support for causes related to promoting biblical constraints on sexuality.

Yesterday, Chick-fil-A ventured beyond the borders of the United States for the very first time, opening the first of 15 planned stores in the Greater Toronto Area, and militant homosexuals as well as animal righties attempted to obstruct customers, some of whom started lining up as early as 6:30 A.M., from entering the store. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what the fuck ever. But then the hilarity kicks in.

The display of self-righteous anger backfired, as customers calmly stepped over and around the bodies attempting to block access and entered to enjoy delicious chicken sandwiches and nuggets.

Inexplicably, the attached photos do not include even one of a mildly-inconvenienced and annoyed customer planting a size-12 hobnailed jackboot squarely on one of the shrieking moonbats’ pallid, pimply faces and pressing down with vigor, instead of too-considerately stepping around the flabby wretch. Must have been an oversight on somebody or other’s part, I guess; next time, maybe. Funnier still:

Though most activists took issue with the chain’s reported anti-LGBTQ-stance at the Friday event,

Which, of course, is a complete damned fabrication.

others called out the chain’s alleged treatment of animals. Some staged a “die-in” to honor chickens slaughtered by the business, as per BlogTo.

The trouble with all these supposed “die-ins” is that we never get to enjoy seeing any of these useless ninnyhammers actually die in one.

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A small victory

The usual routine: Left goes after Trump appointee, Trump caves, appointee either withdraws or is fired—lather, rinse, repeat. Thankfully, though, not this time around.

A senior policy adviser at the Department of Labor who was forced to resign last week after a Bloomberg Law reporter smeared him, was reinstated Wednesday night, the Daily Caller’s Luke Rosiak reported in an exclusive.

According to a senior Labor Department official, Acting Secretary Patrick Pizzella “personally made this decision after carefully reviewing all the facts and circumstances.” The official added, “he concluded that a correction is much better than an injustice.”

More importantly, a victory over the Left—ANY victory, anytime, on any issue—is much better than a defeat, and is something to be celebrated.

Olson’s ouster was immediately criticized because the posts in question were quickly revealed to be an obvious attempt to mock the alt-right using sarcastic humor.

Rather than an exposé on a Trump administration official’s latent antisemitism, Penn’s “scoop” turned out to be more of an exposé on how low a liberal media operative will go to take out a political adversary.

Anybody who doesn’t understand by now that there is absolutley NO depth they won’t plumb, no sewer they won’t crawl through, in order to score a win is a damned fool. Next, Penn ought to be doxxed, he and his family hounded and terrorized to within an inch of their miserable lives, his Bloomberg bosses pressured to fire him, the possibility of his ever again being gainfully employed in the Enemedia industry utterly and forever destroyed. Although that appears likely to require a tremendous amount of pressure:

Bloomberg stood by Penn’s story, suggesting that Olson’s ouster was tantamount to an admission of guilt.

“We stand behind our reporting,” spokesman David Peikin told the Washington Post. “We contacted the White House and the Department of Labor asking for comment on Mr. Olson’s Facebook posts. Within four hours, the Department of Labor responded that Mr. Olson had resigned.”

Now that Olson has been reinstated, it would seem incumbent upon Bloomberg Law to retract Penn’s shoddy report, but that remains to be seen.

Oh, I think we can all pretty easily guess which way THAT wind’s a-gonna blow. No matter, though; we already knew what Bloomberg is, and a win is a win. Personally, I’m happy to take it.

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Hold onto your hats

Better sit down for this one, folks. It’s bound to come as a profound shock, but…the NYT’s “1619 Project,” wherein they intend to tie absolutely everything under the sun to American slavery, is based entirely on lies.

I know, I know. You coulda knocked me over with a feather too.

A Cornell University scholar cited in a recent New York Times piece tying slavery to capitalism was previously found to have inflated statistics, invented facts, and altered quotes, according to fellow academics in his field.

In an October 2016 paper, scholars Alan Olmstead of the University of California Davis and Paul Rhode of the University of Michigan harshly criticized the research of Cornell’s Edward Baptist presented in Baptist’s 2014 book “The Half Has Never Been Told.” In the book, Baptist argues that modern capitalism still contains many of the remnants of slavery and America’s current economy is still influenced by the exploitation of slaves.

“What bothered me was when Ed Baptist dropped out of public debates about his work (methods and findings),” Rhode said.

Because of course he did. I mean, isn’t that what they all do? Loathsome climate -pseudoscience fraudster Michael Mann jumps immediately to mind as Exhibit A, but there are others.

Yet Baptist was quoted approvingly by Princeton Professor Matthew Desmond in a recent essay for the New York Times’ “1619” project, which is intended to reframe the nation’s history around the narrative of slavery. Desmond’s piece states that in “order to understand the brutality of American capitalism, you have to start on the plantation,” and he then quotes Baptist saying that before the Civil War, Americans “lived in an economy whose bottom gear was torture.”

Baptist has also been cited by influential opinion journalists such as Ta-Nehisi Coates, who recently used the scholar’s figures to argue in favor of reparations for African-Americans.

Because of course he did. Chapter and verse follows, and then this:

Baptist did not respond to a request from The College Fix to comment.

Because of course he didn’t. He’s a liar, and since his lies are indefensible—his spurious contentions propped up entirely on a flimsy foundation of fraud, chicanery, sub rosa jiggery-pokery, and pure balls-out deceit—he doesn’t intend to be caught dead defending them.

The interesting thing is to see whether the NYT prefers to brazen this out and keep their despicable project going, or whether they decide to evade accountability by letting the whole thing quietly die the death and hope nobody notices. Which way they jump will reveal a lot about them, not that we don’t already know it full well anyway.

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Intervention needed

Can’t SOMEBODY stop this poor, addle-pated old megalomaniac from continuing to shit and fall back in it in public? Of course, metastasizing senility; a lifetime of corruption, graft, and dishonesty; the unshakeable miasma of perpetual also-ran status; and a trustworthiness quotient rougly equivalent to that of the scorpion riding across a flooded river on the frog’s back are hardly Gropey Joe’s only problems.

His appeal used to be that of someone who liked Budweiser and talking about sports and who did not give off the kind of smarmy condescension vibe to normal people who work for a living that is now so typical of blue state libs. You were talking about the old Joe when you talked about old school Dems, the party of the workin’ man instead of the party of the illegal alien, government drone and bitter SJW. These salt-of-the-earth folks were the very people that Trump – who spent his whole career working with union guys to build stuff instead of bloviating for a living like the New Class elites are wont to do – appealed to and stole right out from under the Democrat coalition. Not that many Democrats minded losing the white working class – Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit famously wrote off people who sweat when they work, probably because of all that unjust privilege held by guys who drive Mac trucks or fix toilets.

Joe’s big sell is that he could get these Normals back in the fold, and that was a threat for a while, except Joe has not only dived way left with his party but the scrutiny he has invited has changed the Biden narrative, and not for the better.

Here’s the thing – you are not going to win back hardworking middle-class voters by promising to pay for the medical care of illegal aliens who shouldn’t even be here in the first place. And it’s pretty hard to trash the current medical system when it’s the system you and your boss Barack Obama forced us all into in the first place. Getting huffy when you get asked how many genders there are and then get a follow-up of “So, what’s number three?” does not help you appeal to real people either.

But it’s not his only problem. He’s got a whole bunch of problems and Trump will mercilessly twist the knife in every one of them.

Let’s start with his family. His relatives were apparently brazenly peddling Joe’s influence to the Chi-coms and the Ukrainians and probably others. While that won’t upset the mainstream media – it only cares about fake TRUMP RUSSIA TREASON baloney when it comes to foreign influence peddling – normal people will find that disturbing. And the mainstream media can no longer treat such stories the way the big Indian (no relation to Elizabeth Warren) treated Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest because we now have alternative media to get out the word on this sordid corruption.

And let’s not even get into his son Cokie’s bizarre lifestyle. “Well, Mr. Vice President, the good news is your son is no longer married to your other son’s widow. The bad news is he left her to marry someone else then knocked up yet another woman.”

Even putting aside his disturbing skinny-dipping fetish, there’s the gal-groping. He seems to be trying really hard not to get handsy with the local talent, but you know he’s going to slip up. He can’t help it. He’s not a mere hugger. He’s gross, and that’s already defining him.

Now, maybe you can survive some tarnishes on the old image. Hell, people still voted for the Clintons again and again. But it’s hard to survive being defined as an incoherent bull-Schiff-er.

Joe is the Gaffe-O-Matic, with a new embarrassment every day exuding from his ever-open piehole. One day he’s standing in New Hampshire extolling the virtues of Keene, Vermont. The next day he’s creating his own ever-morphing Sarajevo sniper story about pinning a medal on a corporal, or was it a Navy captain? There’s a significant difference, in that the corporal actually works for a living. And a “young” Navy captain? Let me assure you that no O6 in any branch qualifies as “young.”

Just one or two of those things could very well torpedo the hopes of even a better-qualified, younger, more appealing candidate; taken in toto for someone as alarmingly desperate for power and approbation as Gropey Joe is, they’re completely insurmountable. Yet even with the Ghosts of Failure Past, Failure Present, and Failure Yet To Come weighing him down like Jacob Marley’s chain-and-cashbox necklace in Schlichter’s above recounting, we still haven’t really touched on the biggest problem haunting ol’ Plugs even yet.

Which simply is: nobody needs him. Worse, nobody wants him. The old-line Democrat-Socialist hacks damned sure don’t; their transparent re-release of Biden’s Scandal Greatest Hits as a means to sabotage him from the git-go made that plain enough. The Young Commie Turks? Oh, please. No matter how far moonbat-Left Gropey might tack—and nobody should think for a moment he wouldn’t be perfectly happy to swerve so far Left he’d come all the way back up behind himself to run up his own tailpipes, because he most certainly would—it will never be enough for them. Rightly or wrongly, his carefully-crafted reputation as something of a “centrist,” burnished over long decades back when he thought that might do him some good—not only isn’t what today’s truly insane Left wants, it isn’t something they’re willing to so much as tolerate.

Nor will his association with Obama be enough to pluck his tired old ass off the ash-heap of history’s discarded liars. As reverentially as many Barrackorrhoids still claim to regard His Most Puissant Majesty and all His mighty works, the truth is even He was a bit of a disappointment to a lot of them—much less Gropey, who was never much more than barely on their radar in the first place. Sure, were they able to scam out a way to quasi-legally “elect” Barky again, they probably still would. But it’s my guess that, as time goes by and they keep on mainlining The Pure they’re scoring from hardcore street slingers like Blotto O’Rourke, Omar, Tlaib, Crazy Bernie, and even Lieawatha, even Obama’s dazzling corona will begin to noticeably dim. In fact, I suspect it already has, maybe more than Ogabe Himself might realize. Biden never even had any corona at all.

All of which leaves poor, sad old Gropey absolutely nowhere. He’s the lamed, staggering fairgrounds pony no kid wants a ride on; the ugly teen sitting unnoticed and alone at the high-school dance quietly picking his nose; the root-beer flavored Dum Dum lollipop that nobody likes, always slumped at the bottom of the reception-desk bowl at the doctor’s office. If Biden was a horse, some merciful soul would surely have shot him by now, for his own good, in an act of true mercy and compassion.

Sorry, Gropey, but you were only nominally adequate as a bit-player in the Ogabe junta, and that is as close to being POTUS as you’re ever going to get. Find the dignity and humility to accept certain harsh realities, unpleasant for you as that may be; we’ll all be better off for it. Maybe you could go look up HILLARY!™ in the Hamptons and down three or eight bottles of cheap gin with her some afternoon. Have her teach you a thing or two about self-respect, if you can find the wherewithal. Try to catch her early, while she’s still somewhat coherent.

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The Great Unmasking

I keep saying the exposure of the true nature and intentions of the Democrat-Socialist Party, Enemedia, and the Deep State is the greatest service Trump has done for his country, or could ever have done.

Well, it’s about time!

It started when the president tweeted about the deplorable conditions in some of our major urban areas. He began pin-pointing what we have all seen, namely, how Democrats have run these cities for decades, contributing to their degradation and decay, and causing severe harm to their inhabitants. The liberal “icons” that have controlled these municipalities for decades have allowed urban centers, through their enforced and sanctimonious liberalism, to devolve from once-great cities to districts akin to war zones and rubble. It’s not about the race of the leaders, but their left-liberal policies, as may be seen in parts of New York City under Bill de Blasio and in Chicago until recently under Rahm Emanuel.  

Once-untouchable liberal icons, such as U.S. Representative Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), are a major part of the problem. Trump points this out. Grandstanding about conditions along the U.S. southern border, Cummings has stood idly by as his own West Baltimore district has fallen apart. His only purpose seems to be to demand more money for the district’s power brokers. 

Similarly, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez continually shrieks about the southern border. She might pay more attention to the inferior conditions in large swaths of her Bronx and Queens district. President Trump is spotlighting these conditions as well as the actors involved.

Thankfully, President Trump is fighting back, calling them out, and not letting them get away with it. He is doing so not merely to defend himself, but to fight for us, something his predecessors and most Republican Senators are unwilling to do in our behalf.

What a difference from a few short years ago, when Barack Obama used his presidential perch to criticize and malign the United States, chide America as a racist society, weaken us around the world, diminish the importance of Christian religious freedom, and extol racialists like Al Sharpton and traitors like Bowe Bergdhal.

In contrast, President Trump, proud of being an American, is standing up for the dignity of the country. He, like so many others, is saying: It’s time to stop the baloney and farce of lionizing self-serving agitators simply because they call themselves civil rights leaders. He will not let phony charges of “racism” cow him into accepting the unacceptable and bowing to left-wing demagogues and liberal hypocrites. Neither should we.

People mischaracterize and belittle Trump’s tweets as unpresidential and unbecoming of his office. He can be crude, to be sure. In reality, the president is using the platform to deny and challenge the assertions of the people—media manipulators and rabble-rousing liberal politicians—who would disdain and debase this great country. 

Just so. Another thing I keep saying: much though the #NeverTrumpTard, phony “Right” and their Leftist leash-holders may quiver and kvetch over “gravitas,” “civility,” and Trump’s boorish, un-Presidential behavior, one of the primary reasons shabby Prole lowlifes like me still love him is the fact that he’s given us a voice at long last, using no more than the uncomplicated expedient of saying the forbidden things we’ve been quietly saying amongst ourselves for years, without hesitation, shame, or apology. As the title of the above article states, Trump is fighting the battles no one else was willing to fight.

“Neither should we,” you say? You’re damned right we shouldn’t. Let the lying Left continue screaming about our “racism,” our “bigotry,” all the usual flapdoodle until they’re blue in the face and gasping for breath. They aren’t looking for discussion; they’re looking to end it—to cow, to intimidate, to stifle, to suppress. No argument will ever persuade them, nor inspire them to regard us as decent, rational, or respectable opponents. Nothing short of our total capitulation will satisfy them. Hell, even that might not do the trick. Debating them is a waste of time, rounding them up and keeping them in pens or corrals is impractical, and killing them all is illegal.

And that leaves us with but one recourse, rhetorically anyway. The only proper response is, and ever shall be, two simple words of defiance, amounting to a blunt rejection of every one of their core premises: FUCK YOU. If one wished to elaborate, one could always go with, say, “Fuck you. Fuck your whole family, fuck your dog, fuck everybody you ever met, fuck your sister’s cat’s grandmother, and fuck the horse you rode in on too. Fuck you with a fire hydrant and sand in the Vaseline, until your fucking heart stops.”

Then just step back and enjoy watching the bastards choke on it.

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Two-Day Rule still in effect

TOLD ya he was trolling ’em.

President Trump suggested Democrats have given up any defense of the Second Amendment and pledged that he will not allow Americans’ gun rights to be swept away on the “slippery slope” of gun control.

Trump made the comments while speaking to reporters in the Oval Office on Tuesday.

He observed:

The Democrats would, I believe — I think they’d give up the Second Amendment.  And the people that — a lot of the people that put me where I am are strong believers in the Second Amendment — and I am, also.  And we have to be very careful about that.  You know, they call it the “slippery slope,” and all of the sudden, everything gets taken away.  We’re not going to let that happen.

Breitbart News reported that Trump used weekend comments to shift away from background checks.

Politico reported that Trump was asked about the background check gun control push and he said, “I’m not saying anything. I’m saying Congress is going to be reporting back to me with ideas. And they’ll come in from Democrats and Republicans. And I’ll look at it very strongly. But just remember, we already have a lot of background checks.”

However staunch a 2A guy he may or may not be, he’s nowhere near stupid enough to be oblivious to how dangerous caving in to the liberal-fascist gun-grabbers would be to him. Look for the post-mass-murder clamor to quickly fade away without much further ado, like it always does. Might be a different story if HILLARY!™ was president; probably would, in fact. But she ain’t. Elsewhere, we have other heartening developments:

President Trump on Wednesday signed a memorandum directing the Department of Education to eliminate all federal student loan debt owed by tens of thousands of severely disabled veterans.

Trump signed the directive following a speech to AMVETS at the organization’s 75th annual convention in Kentucky. The announcement drew applause from those in attendance, including Education Secretary Betsy DeVos.

“Nobody can complain about that, right?” Trump said. “The debt of these disabled veterans will be entirely erased. It will be gone. They can sleep well tonight.”

Trump said the memo will apply to more than 25,000 veterans who are “completely and permanently” disabled. Federal taxes will not be applied to the forgiven debt, he added.

It isn’t clear from the article whether FederalGovCo will be picking up the tab, but with any luck they’ll stick the colleges themselves with it, and expand the program further from there until the damnable liberal indoctrination mills are howling with pain. Another encouraging development:

The entire mass migration to our border and all its cascading ill effects can be traced to one thing: the Flores settlement’s expansion from children to family units by a single district judge. Flores is not a constitutional provision, a statute, or even a court ruling. It is a court settlement, designed as a temporary arrangement, that actually runs contrary to statute and has been used as a catalyst to undermine every bedrock law of sovereignty. After a full year of dithering, the Trump administration is finally using its unquestionable power to modify the settlement to finally end catch-and-release.

The Flores settlement, originally agreed upon in 1997 and modified in 2001, provided that government would only house alien children in “non-secure, state licensed” facilities or release them expeditiously until and unless the federal government writes a regulation to build its own licensing scheme ensuring the safe and sanitary conditions of the facilities. Given that there are no such state-licensed facilities, and the feds, until now, have not created their own scheme, it forced them to release unaccompanied minors expeditiously. In 2015, a California judge applied Flores to children accompanied by a parent as well, an order that was upheld by the Ninth Circuit the following year.

Until now, courts have lawlessly “legislated” a 20-day deadline for holding children without such certified facilities or else they have to be released. Moreover, Judge Dana Sabraw created a new edict last year contrary to law that children can’t be released alone once they come with an adult and that the adult must be released with them. Thus, the expansion of Flores and Sabraw’s ruling spawned the worst period of migration in our history, where primarily one adult would come with one child, the perfect scam.

With today’s change, the Trump administration is fulfilling one of the options laid out in the Flores settlement by publishing regulations governing the treatment of detained minors. Officials have created a process for certifying the conditions of various facilities they now believe fulfill the conditions of Flores and can be designed to hold children with their parents. Thus, no family separation – and no catch-and-release.

The reality is that very few people will wind up in these holding facilities in the long run, because the minute they hear the scam is over, they simply will not come.

Mo’ bettah still at the link. And the welcome news keeps right on a’comin’.

Sen. Lindsey Graham told Fox News host Sean Hannity on Tuesday that he plans to meet with Attorney General William Barr this week to discuss how best to roll out the SpyGate documents that will soon be released to the public.

“I’m going to meet the attorney general this week to talk to him about how best to tell the story,” Graham, who is the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said. “I don’t want people to conjecture as to what happened. I want you to read it.”

The senator said he wants the American people to see the 302s (transcripts of FBI interviews with witnesses), the full Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) warrant applications taken out against former Trump campaign associate Carter Page, and the transcripts of the “confidential informants” who spoke with campaign aide George Papadopoulos.

“I want you to hear in real time that the guy said ‘I’m not working with the Russians. If I were, it would be a crime of treason,'” Graham said, referring to the exculpatory information that the FBI left off of their FISA application.

Graham noted that the media will try its best to ignore the “damning and ugly” information when it comes out. “You’ll only find it on Fox. You may find it a little in the paper,” he predicted. “It will get ten percent of what the Mueller report got.”

He went on to suggest that investigators should start focusing on former president Obama if they want to get to the bottom of what happened.

His lips. God’s ears. Are we done with the good news yet? Why, no. No, we are not.

A judge has ordered the FBI to release the communications between Department of Justice lawyer Bruce Ohr and former British spy Christopher Steele.

The headlice dug so deeply into various pockets of Deep State resistance have been stonewalling, hoping against hope to outlast Trump until some way could be found to remove him. But now the ground under their dragging feet is beginning to crumble and crack. Too bad, so sad for them.

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Sting ’em, Bee

Shit’s starting to get real up in here.

Last month, the satire site The Babylon Bee lawyered up after liberal fact-checker Snopes tried to deplatform it by calling it “fake news” and suggesting the Babylon Bee did not rise to the level of satire. The Babylon Bee’s lawyer sent a demand letter, and Snopes altered the offending article. But last week, Snopes unloaded two more attacks on the Bee, and the Bee vowed to keep fighting back.

“Snopes is at it again. We had hoped that a demand letter from our attorneys would prompt changes. And it seemed to. Snopes did go back and edit their defamatory fact-check, revising some of the language that suggested we were deliberately misleading people. However, they’ve subsequently published a new rating for satire called ‘Labeled Satire,'” the Bee said in an email to subscribers.

“Their explanation of this rating says the label ‘satire’ is often misapplied to content that doesn’t really qualify as satire — and Snopes has made it clear that they feel our content falls into that category,” the Bee continued. “From their view, we’re just pretenders, using the label ‘satire’ to our advantage so we can hoodwink the masses. It’s really extraordinary, especially since they’ve acknowledged in private communication with us that there is a ‘clear distinction’ between our satire and intentionally misleading fake news. For some reason, they refuse to acknowledge the clear distinction in their published articles.”

That’s all due to a multiplicity of reasons: A) they’re dishonest, cowardly partisan hacks; B) you’re living inside their heads, rent-free; C) liberals such as those running Snopes, being juiceless killjoys, have NO sense of humor and thus are incapable of recognizing it; and D) you’re winning.

The Babylon Bee also pointed to a survey conducted by Ohio State University “that suggests satire is causing too much confusion, posing ‘a problem for democracy.'”

Oh for crying out loud. I suppose we know now what the libtards are going to be demanding the government step in to regulate and/or ban “for our own good” next, don’t we?

In the survey, Snopes analyzed the most popular satire articles from The Babylon Bee and The Onion, and asked a random sample of 800 Americans “if they believed claims based on those trending stories.”

The survey did not include any context about the speaker making the claims, so claims from the Bee such as “Ilhan Omar said that being Jewish is an inherently hostile act, especially among those living in Israel” and claims from The Onion such as “National Security Advisor John Bolton said that an attack on two Saudi Arabian oil tankers in the Gulf of Oman is ‘an attack on all Americans'” misled Republicans and Democrats, respectively.

But this does not prove that readers were swayed by satire from The Babylon Bee or The Onion. Those in the survey may have rated a statement “absolutely true” if it merely seemed plausible to them, and they likely would have rated the statement false had they known the source or the style of the original satire article.

Or those rating it “absolutely true” might have just been trying to be funny themselves. With truly dangerous, manipulative propaganda being injected into the American bloodstream each and every day—from newspapers to movies to Enemedia Fake News broadcasts to “The Most Busted Name In News” on every airport concourse—while being misrepresented as honest reportage, who the hell gives a damn, anyway?

Happily, the Bee being the Bee and all, this increasingly enstupidating brouhaha only inspired them to put the pedal to the metal:

U.S.—As Snopes turns up the heat on The Babylon Bee, its writers were finally forced to admit that they are not real journalists.

In a statement issued Monday, Babylon Bee’s editorial team confessed they have been making up their stories this entire time.

“The headlines, the copy, the quotes—they’re all fake,” said the site’s editor in chief, hanging his head in shame. “It started a few years ago. We made up a few stories about church culture, some about politics, some about everyday life, just for fun.” But the EIC said that things quickly got out of hand, as their completely made-up stories started going viral.

“It all happened so fast,” he said. “We just wanted to have a little fun and make some jokes, and I guess it got out of hand.”

Sources confirmed The Babylon Bee even hired a professional Photoshop guy full time to fabricate images of events that did not actually occur, such as Joe Biden getting hit with a blue shell, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez going on The Price is Right and guessing that everything is free, Ruth Bader Ginsburg coming back as a cyborg, and monkeys throwing poop at each other in the Senate’s chambers.”

The closing ‘graph is a real gem, so don’t miss it. And can it possibly be coinkydinkal that this repost from 2017 also turned up on the front page when I looked in?

U.S.—As part of a detailed review of prominent online news outlets, a large team of fact-checkers at Snopes.com unanimously voted The Babylon Bee as the world’s most accurate news source, Snopes editors revealed Friday.

After reviewing over 1,200 of the Bee’s articles, opinion pieces, and exclusive news stories published over the site’s eighteen months of existence, the Snopes team all agreed that the Bee was “far more accurate” than competing news sources.

“It’s not even close,” Snopes writer Kim LaCapria wrote as part of the announcement. “Whereas sites like CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC are constantly dropping the ball, The Babylon Bee has never gotten a single fact wrong.”

“They are the one true news source, the pinnacle of trustworthy journalism,” she added reverently.

“Their stories are just too good to be made-up. They’re excellent,” another Snopes writer said.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that several Bee writers had been shortlisted for a Pulitzer Prize.

Heh. No wonder the vinegary Church Ladies at Snopes hate ’em so much. Mockery and derision are to the Left as garlic and sunlight are to vampires, or so it would seem. And OHHH, how they just hate seeing anybody having fun…particularly when the merriment comes at their expense. So yeah, y’all take it to ’em, Bee-bugs; let a buzzing swarm of lawyers show those Snopes dopes they shoulda left this hive the hell alone. In the immortal words of fellow happy-warrior Andrew Breitbart, a man who also well understood the effectiveness of humor as a weapon against the Left: Fuck you, WAR!

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Prog-nosis: piss poor

More like an endlessly-metastasizing tumor, I think. Or a parasitical infection, like tapeworms, maybe. But still, the man…uhh, gorilla has a point.

I was thinking the other day that progressivism is like a virus. This is no doubt a bit of an oversimplification, but this is how viruses work: when they come in contact with a cell, they trick it into thinking it’s something they need, like a nutrient, so the virus gets pulled in. Once inside, the virus repurposes the cell’s DNA into making more viruses. The cell gets turned into, literally, a virus factory. Eventually, so many viruses will be manufactured that the cell will burst, releasing all of the new viruses to infect other cells.

You can see the parallels with progressivism. First, unlike a normal cell, which has a function as part of some larger organism and can reproduce itself, viruses can’t exist independently. They’re kind of like a parasite. Similarly, progressives don’t really do anything useful or productive.

Also, viruses don’t do anything except cause illness. I guess there are some viruses that have been indentified as beneficial, but not many. So, generally speaking, if you have a virus, it’s bad. And any time a progressive shows up and wants to do something or be in charge of something, it’s bad. When left unchecked, viruses will reduce healthy organisms to a sickly caricature of what they formerly were. Case in point: The Star Wars franchise. Or the State Department.

Second, progressives also gain entry into institutions and organizations by deception. They trick the unwary into opening the door for them by using words such as ‘peace’, ‘justice’, ‘equality’ and ‘fairness’ as if they are actually interested in peace, justice, equality, and fairness. Which they’re not. Everything they tell you is a lie.

GP goes on to lay out several more good points of comparison, winding up with this:

Finally, like most viruses, science hasn’t really found a cure for progressivism.

Well, maturity usually does the trick. As Churchill put it (or, possibly, didn’t): if you’re not a liberal at 20, you have no heart; if you’re not a conservative at 40, you have no brain. Failing that, a single dose of lead in a copper or steel jacket, topically applied to either the head or the Sniper’s Triangle area, would work nicely too.

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Taking it to ’em

What fighting back looks like.

Antifa-duct-taped.jpg


That one’s hilarious all right, but this might be even better.

#ShutDownICE Protesters Shocked When Pick-up Truck Drives Through Their Blockade

A pickup truck drove into a row of protesters who were blocking the entrance to an ICE detention center in Rhode Island, Wednesday night, forcing them to scatter. “The whole world is watching!” the shocked crowd chanted in response. The truck reportedly belonged to a guard at the facility.

To add insult to injury, guards from the detention center later came out and pepper-sprayed the protesters.

Alas, it ain’t all happiness and joy; as so often happens in this life, we must take some bitter with the sweet.

No one one was seriously injured, the Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA) reported.

Well, that’s a damned shame. Better luck next time, I guess.

Video of the incident shows people screaming and running as the car moves slowly into the crowd. The crowd then broke out into a chant of “The whole world is watching.”

And pointing, and laughing.

“It was shocking, it was unexpected,” Rofeberg told JTA. “There’s some amount of risk when you go to an action like this. You don’t expect it to unfold like this.”

Not up until now you didn’t, more’s the pity. It is to be hoped your expectations will need to be adjusted accordingly from here on out. And the glad tidings just keep rolling in.

Proud Boys, Antifa Will Square Off in Portland This Weekend
If you’re going to be visiting Portland, Oregon, this weekend, the city fathers want you to know that despite Antifa and the Proud Boys confronting each other in rival demonstrations, you shouldn’t let that ruin your weekend.

If I’m in Portland, I figure my weekend is pretty much ruined anyway. A righteous PantiFa beatdown dealt out by the Proudies might be the only thing that could keep it from being a total loss.

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DAMNED PESKY ((((JOOOOOZ!!!)))) STRIKE AGAIN!

Cavil and kvetch all you like about ((((DEM JOOOOOZ!)))) and Israel. I’m all for ’em myself.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu:

No country in the world respects America and the American Congress more than the State of Israel.

As a free and vibrant democracy, Israel is open to critics and criticism with one exception: Israeli law prohibits the entry into Israel of those who call for and work to impose boycotts on Israel, as do other democracies that prohibit the entry of people who seek to harm the country.

In fact, in the past the US did this to an Israeli member of Knesset, as well as to other public figures from around the world.

Congresswomen Tlaib and Omar are leading activists in promoting the legislation of boycotts against Israel in the American Congress.

Only a few days ago, we received their itinerary for their visit in Israel, which revealed that they planned a visit whose sole objective is to strengthen the boycott against us and deny Israel’s legitimacy.

For instance: they listed the destination of their trip as Palestine and not Israel, and unlike all Democratic and Republican members of Congress who have visited Israel, they did not request to meet any Israeli officials, either from the government or the opposition.

A week ago, Israel warmly welcomed some 70 Democratic and Republican members of Congress, who expressed broad bipartisan support for Israel, which was also demonstrated a month ago in a resounding bipartisan vote against BDS in Congress.

However, the itinerary of the two Congresswomen reveals that the sole purpose of their visit is to harm Israel and increase incitement against it.

In addition, the organization that is funding their trip is Miftah, which is an avid supporter of BDS, and among whose members are those who have expressed support for terrorism against Israel.

Therefore, the minister of interior has decided not to allow their visit, and I, as prime minister, support his decision.

Ace helpfully provided the above transcription of Netanyahu’s most edifying Tweetstorm, which I fucking love every word of. For his own part Da Prez is fully on board too, bless his heart:


“Disgrace” is right, along with every other word. Now if only Trump could see his way clear to barring them entry back into the States and send their worthless asses off to “Palestine” instead, where the two wretched, hateful shit-stirrers can sit and stew among their own people and leave civilized folks alone. Like I said: bitch about ((((DEM JOOOOOZ!!!)))) to your heart’s content for all me. I’ll happily take a single Netanyahu over ten thousand Omars and Tlaibs every time—six days a week, thanks, and twice on Sundays.

Ace also chronicles the predictably unhinged reaction from the despicable Left and their #NeverTrumpTard rumpswabs, if you have a strong stomach. If I wasn’t firmly in the “I stand with Israel” camp already, the thought of being associated in any way with the whole clown-car full of such asshats would be plenty enough to drive me there all by itself.

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Dullards and dimwits and dolts, oh my!

Oh, how I love this one.

A case out of South Carolina is highlighting the fact once again the drug-testing kits used by local police officers can be wildly inaccurate. On Thursday, drug charges were dropped against Shai Werts, Georgia Southern University’s starting quarterback, after he and his attorneys battled against accusations from Saluda County police earlier this summer that a white substance found on the hood of his car was cocaine.

Okay, everybody, wait for it…wait for it…WAIT FOR IT…

It turns out, it was bird crap. 

WHOOOAA, that’s good squishy! More details at the link, which lead me to conclude that the kid was probably lucky he didn’t get himself shot. But still: who on earth spends a wad of cash on blow, dumps it on the hood of his car, and then drives merrily on down the road that way? I mean really, people; cocaine is, y’know, a powder. You don’t foot the bill for that buzz and then just idly watch as the wind scatters your stash all over the friggin’ roadbed. Or not that I ever heard tell of, you don’t.

Again, though, there’s a more serious point to be made here about the incompetence and stupidity rampant amongst our authorities, wardens, and rulers. Which puts me in mind of an observation made in this Popehat Tweetstorm, via AP:


I remain convinced that Epstein’s alleged “suicide” was something far more sinister than just that, mind. But in most cases, it does indeed pay to bear Occam’s Razor closely in mind, along with the corollary adage about not attributing to malice things that can readily be explained by incompetence and stupidity.

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Crime and (no) punishment

Good ol’ Tucker lays it all out clean and tight for us.

The Russia hoax ended on Wednesday — we can say that. It ended not with a bang, but with the muddled half-memories of a fading old man slipping in and out of focus.

America sat transfixed by Robert Mueller’s halting testimony before Congress. No honest person could have come away at the end believing that the president of the United States colluded with the Russian government to steal an election. That was the allegation, you’ll remember.

And then, after the most extensive investigation in modern American history, we found the truth. And so, we can say conclusively, once again, what we told you the day this all started, the whole thing is a crock. It never happened. They were lying to you. That’s clear now. The debate is over.

What should happen to these people now? Congressman Adam Schiff, for example. Schiff claimed he possessed actual evidence of Russian collusion. And he didn’t just say that one time, he said it repeatedly.

In the end, you know what happened — or didn’t. Schiff did not produce the evidence. He didn’t have it because it doesn’t exist. Schiff was bluffing, which is to say he was lying. He still is, actually. As of Wednesday, Schiff was continuing to claim that the Trump campaign “embraced foreign help, made use of it and covered it up.” In other words, collusion. Schiff still believes the collusion hoax.

Or does he? On Thursday, Adam Schiff went on CNN to carry water for his boss, Nancy Pelosi. “Impeachment might not be a great idea,” he told CNN’s viewers.

But wait, that doesn’t seem to make sense. If Donald Trump is working for a hostile foreign power, as Adam Schiff has told us countless times that he is, how can we not impeach him? No one on CNN asked Adam Schiff to explain that contradiction, unfortunately. Not that it matters. Think about it for a second, and you’ll see exactly what’s going on.

Adam Schiff never believed a word he was saying about Russian collusion. I suppose the good news is Schiff is not delusional. The bad news, though, is that Adam Schiff is a soulless liar. He is a man willing to say literally anything for political advantage, and that’s really the worst of all. Being a lunatic would be much more appealing than that.

For my money, Schiff is probably the lowest, most detestable piece of shit besmirching American politics today. To call him a dirty scumbag is to gratuitously slander dirty bags filled with scum. He is ten pounds of rancid sputum in a five pound sack. Apart from such damning traits as his nonexistent integrity or treacherous nature and speaking purely in physical terms, his bulbous, misshapen head and unpleasant face perfectly bespeak the noxious, calculating character festering within. The greasy, phony, off-kilter smile only adds to the broader nausea. Democrat-Socialist Rule Numero Uno applies tenfold to this asswart: when he’s smiling, it means capital-T Trouble for America.

“Soulless liar” is likely the most positive description a scrupulously honest person could ever offer of him. And even that is probably being overly generous to the abominable wretch. Of course, being the kind of (ulp!) “man” he is, Schiff would probably be quite pleased with the moniker, no doubt considering it flattery most ebullient. And he might just be right, considering; as condemnatory as it is, it doesn’t go far enough, is way too polite, and still far better than he deserves.

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The Democrat-Socialists’ most spectacularly, awesomely awesome self-beclownment yet

One for the record books, people. Yes, it’s difficult to see how they’re going to top yesterday’s total fiasco. But we all know they will—and that right soon, likely enough.


Ahh, but before they all get their ducks in a row and start trying to claim they never really expected all that much from this “hearing” con-job, remember:


Next: is it parody? It just gets ever harder to tell, don’t it?

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Robert Mueller was being criticized for seemingly answering questions slowly, not recalling key details of his investigation, and appearing to be confused throughout his testimony Wednesday.

After a brief recess, Mueller insisted he was entirely lucid.

“I hear a few murmurs out there that I’ve lost it,” he said. “Well, I haven’t lost it. I’ve still got it. In fact, I’m still sharp as a tack.”

Before testimony could resume, however, Mueller interrupted the proceedings, appearing to reach for his cell phone. “I really have to take this,” he said apologetically as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a banana. “Yeah, go for Bob.”

Mueller proceeded to have what appeared to be a five-minute conversation on the fruit as bewildered congresspeople looked on. “Well, tell them I don’t want to be there this Friday. Matlock’s on, you know that. You know I don’t go out when Matlock is on.”
He shrugged apologetically at those in the room, mouthing “sorry.”

At publishing time, Mueller was seen giving clear, concise, lucid testimony to a soap dispenser in the restroom.

Heh. I do have a slight problem here, though. I admit I haven’t watched a single moment of Mueller’s “testimony,” and I don’t plan to either. But for whatever it’s worth, here’s my idea: Mr Integrity’s senile-old-fool act was just that: an act.

Since his bogus report came out, he’s been sliming around tossing out innuendo and insinuation right and left, broadly dropping hints about not being able to “exonerate” Trump—a legal standard accepted precisely NOWHERE in the entirety of American jurisprudence, as such the one and only thing truly NOT “in his purview” as special witch-hunter—and casting aspersions to anyone willing to listen about Trump’s guilt, particularly on the issue of “obstruction”—another non-issue irrelevance, since, as declared explicitly in his own fucking report, there was no underlying crime for Trump to have “obstructed” the investigation of.

No. Just…no. The Mueller “investigation” was from the beginning no more nor less than exactly what Trump said it was all along: a partisan witch-hunt whose goal was NOT to look into “Russian collusion,” but to: A) obfuscate the Obama admin’s and Hillary campaign’s multiple illegalities; B) smear Trump, shift attention away from their actual crimes to his nonexistent ones, also protecting dirty co-conspirators like Comey, Brennan, et al; and C) provide a pretext for removing Trump from office via impeachment, the 25th Amendment option, or whatever else they could somehow cobble together.

Notice how nobody, not one living soul, made any mention at all of Mueller’s putative mental difficulties back in May, when the report came out? Nor have they since then, when he was casting his slippery little aspersion hither and yon, going to such extremes with the campaign to “keep hope alive” that Barr felt it necessary to call ol’ Honest Bob directly, with recorders running and witnesses present? Barr doesn’t seem to have noticed Mueller being incoherent, confused, and out of touch during that conversation, did he? Odd, that.

Next, the Congressional Democrat-Socialist coup plotters spent the last two weeks coaching Mueller on his testimony, a breach of ethics so broad you could drive a Hummer through it. And guess what? Not one peep from anyone about Mueller’s sudden-onset Alzheimer’s. Not that I would have expected the conniving Demonrats to public acknowledge it were it true, mind. But given how important this was to their coup plot, don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, they would have tried to postpone the thing, or something else along those lines, in order to avert the looming disaster?

And make no mistake, folks, disaster it most certainly was. But you don’t have to take my word for it.


How bad was it? Even Hitler himself knows. A grief-stricken Chris Wallace, Fox News’s senior NeverTrumpTard, also acknowledged the catastrophe, however heartbrokenly:

Wallace said, “This has been a disaster for the Democrats and a disaster for the reputation of Robert Mueller. He has seemed very uncertain with his brief. He doesn’t seem to know what things are in the report.”

Bingo, and no accident. Mueller even made a completely spurious and risible claim to total ignorance about Fusion GPS—which, along with everything else I just mentioned, bolsters my belief that his “I’m old, I’m confused!” routine was nothing but subterfuge; there can’t be a single soul in the whole country who’s paid even cursory attention to the news these last two years who doesn’t know perfectly well who Fusion GPS is, and what their role was in this whole flea circus. Mueller was lying—full stop, end of story. His stated reluctance to testify at the Democrat-Socialists’ dumbshow, along with his testimony, can be put down to a last-ditch, desperate attempt to evade the perjury trap he had already laid for himself. Brandon Weichert says don’t be fooled:

What Americans saw Wednesday was an act by Mueller to deflect attention away from the fact that his investigation was never going to “prove” any “collusion.” The entire thing was a grotesque act of political theater designed to give the anti-Trump forces of the establishment the boost they needed going into 2020.

Mueller also wanted to protect critical intelligence sources from deeper public scrutiny, meaning that those responsible for initiating the absurd investigation into Trump will not be punished for their wrongdoing and, further, that these same people will be free to attempt similar shenanigans in the future. That’s right. The deep state will live to fight another day. Now that their attempt to defeat Trump through investigations and false accusations has faltered, Mueller would rather be viewed as a hapless hack than as the corrupt top cop he is.

Mueller, I believe, accepted the role as special counsel investigating claims of a conspiracy between the Trump campaign and Russian intelligence because his ego would not allow him to pass up the chance. Not only did Mueller personally and politically dislike Trump (being a “Republican,” as we know, does not preclude NeverTrumpism), but as a career federal prosecutor, Mueller could not help but to envision himself the man to take down this much-maligned president.

Pride goes before a fall, though, and Mueller has suffered through the greatest ego deflation of any public figure in recent memory. Touted as the purest of the pure; proclaimed to be the most respected man in Washington; portrayed as being too smart and tough for Trump to handle, Mueller has been stymied at every turn—and had minimal effect on Trump.

The world did not witness the public nervous breakdown of a once-powerful member of the elite in that hearing. Instead, we saw the shiftiest move an inside operator could make in these tough circumstances. Mueller played dumb; he allowed himself to be the center of a partisan feeding frenzy, while ominously insisting that the president was neither guilty nor innocent—a sort of legal purgatory, awaiting final judgement. 

Yep, that’s about it. Mueller squirmed, wriggled, and gyrated like a worm on a hot griddle, doing his level best to avoid speaking the truth, which remains exactly as was stated in the report which bears his now-blackened name: “The investigation did not establish that members of the Trump Campaign conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in its election interference activities.”

Ultimately, the whole doomed farce was never about “Russian collusion” anyway, really. In the end, it all comes down to one, thing and one thing alone: the Democrat-Socialist Party, a criminal enterprise masquerading as a legitimate political party, flatly refuses to abide by the results of any election they lose. They sought to overturn Trump’s 2016 victory right out of the gate, as free and fair an election as any can be that has the Democrat-Socialists participating in it. So far, they’ve failed. But there’s a cautionary note to be sounded as well, and Francis does so:

The Left is desperate. Desperate people do desperate things. They stake it all on long odds. They grasp at their sole remaining chance to prevail, however slender, and refuse to look past it. And if possible, they shave the dice, tilt the pinball machine, bribe the refs.

This is the hour of maximum danger.

Recall how many Left-inclined commentators and spokesmen have worried publicly about the outbreak of a second civil war, fomented by us in the Right. Leftist mouthpieces have a history of “worrying” about what the Right will do, while (or just before) the Left does that exact thing. That is where the Republic stands as you read this.

There’s no need for me to wrap hundreds more words around this matter. The writing on the wall is large enough to be read from orbit.

He ain’t wrong about that. Powder dry, mags loaded, y’all. That said, though, I just can’t resist a little pointing and laughing, in the form of my own message to the shitlib Left; the Democrat-Socialist seditionist politicians; the NeverTrumpTard phony conservatives; despicable cucks of all stripes; Enemedia hacks; and every other huckster, Swamp rat, and general reprobate guilty of either foisting this pustulent parade of scoundrels on us or cheerleading the damned thing from the wings. STRONG message follows, on behalf of Da Prez and all of his loyal, much-put-upon supporters:

SUCK IT, you goddamned motherfucking cretinous reptiles. Suck it long, suck it deep, suck it hard, suck it good. And when you’re done lip-locking my schlong, don’t you even DREAM of spitting back any spunk. You’ll swallow every motherfucking drop, lest I clout you right upside your fucking head with a nail-studded Louisville Slugger and make you do it all over again. Then DROP DEAD. And I DO mean dead, dead, dead. You filthy pieces of shit. You bottom-feeding, loathsome scumsuckers. You treasonous, contemptible fuckwits. You cancerous polyps on a warthog’s asshole. Fuck every last one of you all to Hell and gone. EVERY. LAST. ONE.

There, I think that about covers it.

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Mo’ bettah hilarity

The great Godfrey Elfwick is back, and in the very nick of time too.

Refusing to wax a woman’s balls is transphobia at its most blatant… and yet here we are, in 2019, still disrespecting trans women’s rights by denying them a smooth nutsack.

I’m referring of course to the recent publicity surrounding Jessica Yaniv, a stunning and brave trans woman who has filed complaints against more than a dozen female waxers with the Human Rights Council in British Columbia. And what is the justification these women have attempted to make in order to disguise their obvious bigotry? Well, among other flimsy excuses, ‘religious grounds’ (the majority of these women are immigrants) and the bizarre claim from one of them that her husband feared for her safety due to the fact that she works from home and has small children to take care of. What on earth does a woman have to fear from a 200+ lbs trans woman who is simply asking to come round to her home and have the hairs removed from her testicle satchel? 

As a trans woman myself, I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve been misgendered in Dorothy Perkins because of my beard, and so I have skin in the game here, so to speak. I understand all too well the shame that a denial of service can bring. For the past two years I’ve been trying to get my doctor to give me a Pap smear which he has point blank refused purely based on his misguided logic of me ‘not having a cervix’. As a medical man, I would expect him to understand that biological sex has nothing to do with gender and if I feel that I have a cervix, that should be more than enough for him to throw his anatomy charts into a bin and never refer to them again. These days, doctors know nothing compared to people like myself who have spent six months doing Gender Studies before being forced to quit due to the stress of being made to write essays twice a month.

Okay, that oughta be plenty enough to convince y’all you need to read the rest of it, which is not nearly as long as I’d like it to be. Don’t be such a stranger, Godfrey, the world needs you now more than ever before.

(Via MisHum)

How you slide down a slippery slope update! Gradually at first, then all at once.

One of the first articles I ever wrote about the transgender movement was in 2014, when I argued that the Chicago Tribune was wrong to retract Kevin Williamson article in which he stated that trans women are in fact men. This particular trans-identifying man was actor Laverne Cox, and pulling the plug on Williamson’s sensible column was an early salvo in a fight that has gone on now for five years.

At that time, most of the blowback I received from the left had to do with minding my own business. What did it matter to me, this early line of argument went, if men become women or women become men? Why couldn’t I just live and let live? It was such a tiny group of people, after all. Why was this such a big deal?

In response, I began to argue that if society allowed this monumental change to the very nature of sex and gender, then there would be policy implications. I talked about women’s sports, set-aside programs for women-owned businesses, and women’s-only spaces. Shortly thereafter, the bathroom wars began.

But hey, the past is the past. What seemed obvious and troubling to conservatives seemed impossible and nonsensical to progressives. What else is new? But here we are. Right now, the leftists who promised that it would never come to this, that it would never come to men forcing their penis and testicles into the faces of unwilling women, need to address the fact that, to their shock, this is exactly what happened.

I’m all for letting bygones be bygones. But can we now please finally all realize that there are real policy and personal implications to this rash decision to suddenly change the definition of men and women? Can the left stop pretending that none of this matters? Can we protect women who don’t want to wax the testicles of men, or women, or whatever the left wants to call them?

No, you BIGOTED HHH888RRR BIGOT, we most certainly can NOT. We must now move on to the next step: forcing MEN to wax the testicles of men. After that, we’ll move on to forcing cisgender het binary HHH8888RRRR men to date gay men, transgender mish-mashes, and eventually, say, squirrels.

Yeah, you readers probably think I’m being facetious here. You just wait.

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Diversity comes to Disneyland

Never a Marlin Perkins with a trank gun around when you really need one.

Parkgoers enjoyed a heartwarming spectacle at Disneyland’s Anaheim location last weekend. It all started in extremely implausible circumstances, when a young black man felt that he and his daughter had been “disrespected,” something he warned a certain supernaturally fat black woman not to do. Ah, in vain. For she proceeded to spit in the poor man’s face, whereupon he cursed at her and punched her several times. Then another black man—presumably her baby’s daddy—got involved, gallantly slugging the other fellow.

What followed seemed like it was taken from the pages of National Geographic, the disrespected man doing a kind of elaborate fighting dance while taunting his opponent with sublime pride—“What’s up?!” and “What’s happenin’, bro?!”—before he and the bro traded haymakers.

Basking in their privilege, the white onlookers recalled black comedy skits from the ’80s in which blacks mock the extravagant manner in which they fight, in order to intimidate honkies. Several whites captured the melee on their iPhones, and some of the footage will be used in the upcoming documentary on the American melting pot, What Happens in the Wild.

“Hold my daughter,” the rotund black woman ordered a convenient stranger nearby, who hoped she would not be obliged later to adopt the excited little demon who managed to throw some animal crackers in the direction of the scuffle.

The fight now became rather complicated, for the black woman was joined by another sister, so that there were four persons swinging wildly at one another, all while trying not to slip on the gathering puddles of cocoa butter and the fat black woman’s sweat below them. There was even more profanity, even more evidence for white liberals that diversity is our strength.

“I’m ready to go to jail tonight!” declared the disrespected man thoughtfully, who perhaps had been there before. “I don’t give a fuck ’bout no video! You put yo’ hands on muh bitch, nigga!” he added in the elegant African-American vernacular. For her part, the bitch was charmed by this chivalry, and made a mental note to reference it during her next spoken-word performance.

The violence went on for several minutes, until some white people, meddlesome as ever, infringed on the black efforts to administer justice among themselves, a high school football coach and some others breaking up the rumble in Disneyland. During the course of this, the disrespected man was choked out and briefly lost consciousness. But happily, upon coming to, his virtuous character remained intact, as he repeatedly demanded to know who had choked him out—was it not a cop?—and was eager to settle the score.

Having refrained from arresting the oppressed blacks, the police are now conducting an investigation. The mother of some of the four brawlers, herself considerably fat, is disabled, and gets around via a taxpayer-funded motorized wheelchair. She was knocked to the ground toward the end of the fight, but it is not known whether anybody will be charged with a hate crime.

I read about this incident in the immediate wake of its occurrence and decided to pass it on by without a mention here, because who gives a shit. DeGroot’s recounting, though, is so sidesplittingly funny I just couldn’t shine it on. He uses this shitshow as a waystation on his way to making a larger, even funnier point, and the whole thing is a scream.

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Facts is facts

STOP CONFUSING ME WITH REALITY, DAMN YOU.

Segregating the sexes in sports is not unfair to women—if anything, it’s exceedingly kind.

But equality is a hill that many true believers are willing to die on, no matter how foolish it makes them look.

In a 2017 article for The Guardian, professional female golfer Anya Alvarez concedes the undeniable fact that men “are stronger than women” and that their average golf swing is about 18MPH faster than the female average. She says that despite these male advantages, “suggesting that makes females lesser athletes is ridiculous.” Then she compares the stats of select female pro golfers against that of select male pro golfers without stating where they stand in the rankings of their respective genders.

But in 2003 when Annika Sorenstam—widely acknowledged as one of the all-time great female golfers—competed in a gender-blind tournament against men, she ranked 96th out of 113 competitors.

An article in Duke Law examines track and field events for 2017 and cites how many times that year’s world-best performance for women was bested by boys under 18. There wasn’t a single event in which the best woman in the world wasn’t bested by at least 10 under-18 boys; in the 400-meter dash, 285 boys outperformed the world’s fastest woman.

When compared to adult males, it looked even worst for the gals: In 2017 alone, the best woman’s result in the 100-meter dash was beaten over 10,000 times by men; in the 800-meter race, men outperformed the best woman’s time in the world nearly 14,000 times.

When it comes to men’s and women’s power-lifting world records, the listing for actual world records doesn’t even specify men because it’s assumed that men hold every record; it simply says “World Records.” The male record for squats is 542 pounds heavier than the female record. The pattern persists throughout all categories: It’s 415 pounds heavier for deadlifts, 298 pounds for bench presses, and 810 pounds for one person’s totals in all categories combined. In three of the four women’s categories, the world champeen is an American named April Mathis.

April Mathis was born a man and still looks like one, complete with the pattern baldness. So the best “female” weightlifter of all time is actually a man.

If you’re truly concerned about being fair to women, you should forbid male-to-female trannies from competing against them in sports.

I might be concerned about being fair to women, but I am not in the least concerned about being fair to “feminist” Leftards. Since the current ludicrous chaos is but the inevitable end-stage of Proggy’s relentless and destructive campaign to undermine families, muddle traditional sex roles and relations between them, and distort the very idea of gender itself, I want it all crammed right down “feminist” throats, just as far as it will go. I want to see them forced to abide by the spurious assertions of total, no-difference equality between the sexes they’ve been promoting for decades.

Their own toxic ideology disallows any distinction between male, female, transgender, or Other; in fact, it precludes the existence of “womens’ sports” in the first place. Fine, then. If it’s true that a “transgender woman” athlete must be acknowledged as being nothing less than a real, true woman, then zhym must be allowed to participate in xhyr’s chosen sport as one.

The original leaders of the “feminist” movement, some of them anyway, allowed themselves to be seduced by cultural Marxism and abandoned what may once have been a reasonable quest for greater automony and freedom. The rank and file went along with it. So let them live under their own New Rules. If, as Goad says, “equality is a hill that many true believers are willing to die on,” then by God let them die on it.

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Trump doubles down, Omar rows it back

Even when she’s trying to “clarify” her America-hate, she can’t help but put her foot in her big mouth.

Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar claimed Saturday that she “probably” loves America more than people born in the United States.

Omar made the comments at the progressive Netroots Nation conference in Philadelphia when asked why she often appears to be an opponent of American values, according to the Washington Examiner.

“There is something I get criticized for all the time,” she told the audience as she sat on a discussion panel.

“It is that I am anti-American because I criticize the United States. I believe, as an immigrant, I probably love this country more than anyone that is naturally born,” Omar said.

The congresswoman, who has often been accused of using anti-Semitic language because of her constant criticism of Israel, has claimed that the United States likes to talk about “American exceptionalism” abroad but it does not fulfill those values at home.

“So, that hypocrisy is one that I’m bothered by. I want America the great to be America the great,” she said.

It’ll improve by orders of magnitude the day you take the fuck off on back to Mogadishu, you slattern.

Days earlier she was jubilant about Somalia’s Independence Day.

No one should deny that she loves her country, I guess. It just ain’t this one.

Her comments Saturday come on the heels of a highly-publicized spat between her and Fox News host Tucker Carlson, who has said the congresswoman hates America.

“Omar isn’t disappointed in America. She’s enraged by it,” Carlson said Tuesday night. “Virtually every public statement she makes accuses Americans of bigotry and racism. This is an immoral country, she says. She has undisguised contempt for the United States and for its people.” (RELATED: Rep. Ilhan Omar Describes 9/11 Terror Attacks: ‘Some People Did Something)

Omar dismissed Carlson as  a “racist fool” over his comments.

Because OF COURSE she did. What else can she do now but fall back on that old-time, tried and true Democrat-Socialist blocking maneuver?

Carlson said Omar’s rebuttal was typical because “she learned young that crying racism pays.”

Not this time, I don’t think. We’ve already heard far too much of that tripe from other Democrat-Socialists, for decades now, to be in the market for more of the same from this miserable tapeworm.

As for Trump’s supposed faux pas, he remains cool, cocky, and crazy like a fox.

Omar, it turns out, is a massive liability for the Democrats. Making her the face of the Democrats is a pretty good way of triggering a GOP landslide, not just in the White House, but in the House of Representatives.

Among the working-class voters Democrats must win over to win the presidency, and, for that matter, both houses of Congress, Omar sports an abysmal 9% approval rating along with a 53% recognition rate. She’s the most unpopular of all of them. According to the Daily Wire:

A new internal Democrat poll in swing districts released on Sunday showed that socialist Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) and Ilhan Omar (D-MN) are extremely unpopular and that they may cost the Democratic Party the presidency and the House in 2020.

“Ocasio-Cortez was recognized by 74% of voters in the poll; 22% had a favorable view,” Axios reported. “Rep. Ilhan Omar of Minnesota — another member of The Squad — was recognized by 53% of the voters; 9% (not a typo) had a favorable view.”

This is deadly stuff, and clearly, Trump is targeting the weakest link among this far-left squad and seeking to get all of his Democratic opponents (blocking his border wall, refusing to pass any legislation both could agree on) personified as Omar. That’s important, because most voters who elect Democrats like their congressmen and don’t see the extremism of their votes. Omar, on the other hand, pretty well is identical in her voting patterns to them and why a GOP House majority is key for enacting his agenda.

Risk, sure. But great leaders always take risks. This is big-risk, big-reward politics. It’s the stuff from which political legends are made.

It is at that. And it’s a sheer pleasure to watch Trump so masterfully weaving it.

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Caught in a trap of their own devising

Kurt’s right: it IS delicious to watch.

The pain of your enemy should be your joy, and we conservatives are pegging the joymeter right about now watching the political sepsis that is CongressKid AOC and her merry band of idiots running rampant within the flabby body of the Democrat Party. There’s only one solution to the gangrene caused by her and that brother-marrying weirdo who cheers for the wrong side in Black Hawk Down and Ms. Palestine. You have to amputate. But the donkeys can’t do it. That would cripple or kill the patient. So, what to do about the infection ravaging their party? It’s quite the dilemma.

Quite the hilarious dilemma.

Oh Nancy Pelosi, you thought you could harness the eager energy of these Socialist Sisters of Mediocrity for your own purposes, but you didn’t quite understand the situation. For limo libs like you – literally, because you’re a zillionaire – all this “for the little guy” stuff was always just a pose and a cynical scam. You don’t believe it. You just exploit it because you figure that the shiftless saps and lay-about suckers are your constituency will like it, and they do. You talk a good game about helping and caring for the downtrodden, but if one of the local bums tried to use the sidewalk in your neighborhood as a john, you’d have the Scat Francisco PD all over him like Jerry Nadler on a doughnut.

You’ve gotten used to posing as the heroic rebel voice speaking out in a stirring defense of the status quo that made you rich n’ powerful. All the other Democrats used to feel the same way. You were all in on the scam. Wink, nod and back to business as usual. But these dummies, leveraging their youthful inexperience, actually believe the nonsense they spew – that you all spew – and they are now learning that you really don’t.

And now you’re realizing that it’s not just Normals they want to cart off to the guillotine. You’re on the tumbrel manifest too, ready to be hauled down that bumpy path to a permanent haircut.

What to do? The problem Democrats made for themselves by trying to harness the power of hate-fueled idiocy for their own purposes is coming back to bite them right on the Ted Lieu. They’ll have to either amputate the radicals, which they can’t do and survive, or submit to the radicals, which they can’t do and survive. It seems the Democrats can’t live with them, and can’t live without them.

Too bad. We’re going to need more popcorn.

Seeing as how they’re irrevocably committed to a proven-failure ideology, along with Real Americans finally having seen their worn, threadbare masks ripped off completely by Trump, I’d say their collapse into flailing, smoking ruin was probably inevitable. Long overdue; perhaps too late, even. But still a sheer delight. And to think that all it took to push them over the edge was just ONE lone, outsider Republican willing and eager to stand up to them at last.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil." - Skeptic

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