Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

“We Must Elect Senator Kid Rock”

Yes. Yes, we surely must.

The news that Southern-fried rock/rapper Kid Rock will be running for some timeserving Dem hack’s Senate seat in Michigan should make every normal American smile and spill a 40 to his homies. The future Senator Rock deserves your eager support for two critical reasons: First, it will drive the liberals insane. Second, it will make George Will and the rest of Team Fredocon soil themselves.

Kid Rock? Oh, well I never!” You simpering sissies. I’ll take his nasty stringy mop and torn wife beater over your preferred weasels’ coiffed politician/newscaster hair and Gucci loafers.

No, he didn’t go to some Ivy League snob factory and all he’s got to rely on are attitude, common sense, and a love of actual Americans (especially our troops). But wait – you want “conservatism.” A fat lot of good your version of conservatism’s done us. It’s always waiting up there ahead, just after the next election cycle, and in the meantime, we’ll compromise and make some more excuses.

No, we’re past voting for the ideology. Now we’re ready to vote for the id.

Or, y’know, the Kid.

Yeah, I know; sorry, but I just couldn’t resist that one.

Seriously though, aside from the big fat thumb in the eye it would be to the Uniparty establishment (and just wait till Senator Al Franken starts complaining about the complete lack of “gravitas” a mere entertainer such as the Kid will bring to the stultified halls of Congress), I can state with complete confidence that the danger of Senator Rock suddenly turning up to a floor vote in a dress and declaring his gender to be “mixed or uncertain” is pretty close to nil. That alone is qualification aplenty for me.


I may not know art…

But I know I just LOVE this.

In 1989, the sculptor Arturo Di Modica placed a huge statue of a “Charging Bull” right in front of the New York Stock Exchange on Wall Street. The bull symbolized financial optimism and prosperity, but then in March of this year, the investment firm State Street Global Advisors (SSgA) commissioned “Fearless Girl,” a statue that changed the meaning of the bull. In protest this weekend, sculptor Alex Gardega responded with a statue of his own.

“I decided to build this dog and make it crappy to downgrade the statue, exactly how the girl is a downgrade on the bull,” Gardega told The New York Post. The artist poo-pooed the “Fearless Girl” statue, which many have taken as a symbol of feminism.

“This is corporate nonsense,” Gardega told The Post. “It has nothing to do with feminism, and it is disrespect to the artist that made the bull. That bull had integrity.”

His statue, entitled “Pissing Pug,” took aim directly at “Fearless Girl,” specifically at her left leg.

And the libtards responded exactly as you would expect: with their usual grim, OUTRAGED!™ PC humorlessness. Which just makes it even more delicious.

“Forget artistic integrity. If you put a statue of a dog peeing on a little girl, you’re a huge asshole,” tweeted a social media editor at TED Talks.

It isn’t peeing on a little girl, shrieker. It’s peeing on a statue representing your cuntish little political statement; it was designed to do nothing more than send your delicate ass into frothing fantods, it worked beautifully, and plenty of us think that’s totally hilarious. Leave it to our old bud Iowahawk, a/k/a David Burge, to nail them to the cross:

By far the best response came from David Burge. “I am so angry Imma make a Fearless Flea for the Urinating Dog peeing on the Fearless Girl blocking the Charging Bull,” he jokingly tweeted.

Heh. As always, juiceless, joyless, hysterical Progressivists can’t help but prove the very point being made by those mocking them.

They just keep right on losing, again and again and again. And they can’t for the life of them figure out why.


Drunk, bitter, personally-unpleasant, critically-ill harpy still whining about having her empty head handed to her

In other words, just another day in this sad bitter Harridan Nixon’s drunk and unfulfilling life.

As with Obama: how can we miss you if you won’t go away?

Elsewhere, Ace apologizes for and appropriately condemns all the unseemly Right Wing Violence™ of late:

You can find my condemnation of Greg Gianforte’s bodyslam right next to CNN’s condemnation of the professor charged with three accounts of attacking peaceful Trump supporters — with a bike lock. Which is a heavy metal improvised weapon.

Note the three attacks hit the victim in the neck or head — which is the target point which could kill someone with a steel bludgeon — and also note that it does not appear to be the cops or the media which ferreted out this guy’s identity, but 4chan.

Apparently the media couldn’t give any fucks about it, and still doesn’t.

You can also find my scathing rebuke of violence by the right next to CNN’s denunciations of the mob attackers at Middlebury College, at least one of whom participated in an attack on a woman causing her enough injury to need a neck brace.

Oh, and you can also find my denunciation in the same common repository in which CNN scolds Middlebury for promising to punish the violent felons, but then not really punishing them at all.

Still wondering why so many of us on our side were enthused by Gianforte’s brilliant and heartwarming smackdown of one of you shitweasels, are ya? Well, just carry on as usual and there’ll surely be lots more opportunities for you to get things figured out.

Like I said earlier: we’re fed up. You libtard propagandists don’t have to respect that, I guess. But you damned sure better wake up to it, at least. For your own sorry sakes.


Smarterer than you!

Gotta love this one.

NYU physicist Alan Sokal thought very little of the research performed by his colleagues in the social sciences. To prove his point, he wrote a paper that used plenty of trendy buzz words but made absolutely no sense. As he later explained, Dr. Sokal wanted to find out if a humanities journal would “publish an article liberally salted with nonsense if (a) it sounded good and (b) it flattered the editors’ ideological preconceptions.”

It would. His paper, “Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity,” was published in the journal Social Text in 1996, and his hoax has earned him a place in scientific history.

Dr. Sokal inspired copycats. Several years later, according to an MIT news report, three students developed software that “randomly generates nonsensical computer-science papers, complete with realistic-looking graphs, figures, and citations.” One of the papers used terms like “Byzantine fault tolerance.” It was submitted to — and accepted by — a global computer science conference.

One would think that the world of scientific publishing would have learned from these hoaxes. Alas, that does not appear to be the case.

Just wait til you see what the latest one is. And yes, there’s a climate-change tie in, as there truly ought to be. In a nutshell: “After completing the paper, we read it carefully to ensure it didn’t say anything meaningful, and as neither one of us could determine what it is actually about, we deemed it a success.” Well done, fellas. DAMNED well done.


What desperation looks like

It’s wafting off them like a bad, bad funk.

The Democrats and their accomplices in the Republican Party have peddled the vast left-wing conspiracy that the president and Vladimir Putin “colluded” with one another in the months leading up to Election Day since late last summer.

Though I have already spilled exponentially more ink on this topic than it deserves, a few more syllables can’t hurt.  

Julian Assange insists that there was no “hacking” of DNC emails, that a Democratic Party insider (undoubtedly a discontented Bernie Sanders supporter) leaked them. Nevertheless, even assuming, for argument’s sake, that Russians are guilty on this score, the Russophobic war mongers in the Democrat and Republican parties want for us to think that by way of arranging for Wikileaks to make public their contents, Putin enabled Trump to win 30 of 50 states and more than 2,600 of America’s 3,100 counties—including 220 or so counties that voted for Obama in 2012.  

If only Putin hadn’t intervened, Clinton would be president right now and Trump would have lost by the 12 points or so that all of the “experts,” as recently as days before Election Day, assured us would be the outcome.

The vast left-wing conspiracists also want for us to overlook that if their insinuations are correct, this convicts Barack Obama and his party of gross incompetence. Given their expressions of certitude until the 11th hour that Clinton would clean Trump’s clock, they clearly had no clue that a hostile foreign power was “undermining” the integrity of our electoral process right under their collective nose.

How, on their watch, was Putin able to sabotage their electoral prospects and subvert the votes of the nearly 60 million or so Deplorables who, according to the (il)logic of the conspiracy theory, would otherwise have voted for Clinton?

Yet, somehow, Putin and the buffoon “colluded” so as to make all of this happen.

Second, even the most toxic among Trump’s nemeses, like the contemptible Maxine Waters, acknowledges that, to date, there is zero evidence of any “collusion” between the President and Putin.

If a despicable moron like Maxine Waters—who really ought to be cleaning hotel rooms somewhere or running a drive-thru window, although she’d barely be qualified to do even that—can’t even make your case for you, well, you ain’t got much of a case.

Ahh, but does it get even better, you ask? See for yourself:

And this brings us to our final point: Much more plausible than the conspiracy that Putin “colluded” with Trump is the theory that Putin and Obama had been colluding for years.

And he makes a damned fine case for that, too, although you may find his closer somewhat surprising. I’d submit that rather than colluding with Putin, Obama was played like a cheap fiddle by him instead. He had Putin run rings around his stupid, arrogant ass in the exact same way Trump is now running rings around his Democrat Socialist colleagues and their Republicrat co-conspirators. He was in over his empty head with Putin, and Putin was no doubt laughing at him the whole while he was in office, just as most every other world leader was…and just as we’re laughing at them now.

Either way, this is a truly enjoyable piece, there’s plenty more of it, and you’ll be glad you read every word.


Comey chaos

If this keeps up, I’m going to need to dig out the ol’ thesaurus to find an alternative to the word “dementia,” because we’re all going to be sick of that one.

Comey’s not going to charge Hillary? What a stand-up guy! The very model of a dedicated public servant!

Comey’s re-opened the Hillary investigation? What a partisan hack! He’s just thrown the election to Trump! This is literally a police state!

Comey’s investigating Trump’s ties to Russia? Thank God! This career civil servant is all that stands between us and that fascist dictator!

Comey’s fingering Huma Abedin for forwarding emails to Carlos Danger? God, this Trump stooge won’t let up, will he?

Trump’s fired Comey? How dare he? This is a crisis for the integrity of our institutions…

As it turns out, he misspoke somewhat on the matter of Huma Abedin sending classified emails to her spambot penis of a hubby to print out during breaks from sexting middle-schoolers. Which is how we arrive at the brain-exploding scenario of Trump firing Comey for being unfair to Hillary. Boy, that Putin is always nine chess moves ahead, isn’t he?

He IS good, isn’t he? I mean, he must be: he has Trump in his back pocket, our national elections under his complete control, and driven the America-hating Left into paroxysms of patriotic fervor for the first time since…well, ever. That’s a record of accomplishment anybody might envy.


She’s baaack!

Bill summarizes Hillary!™ (no, not THAT Bill).

She was the wife of a governor and a president who, on her own, totally screwed up her husband’s efforts to impose socialized medicine on America. Afterwards, in a triumph of political nepotism, she became a bootlegging do-nothing Senator from New York, and was then appointed to the position of Secretary of State by Barack Obama as a sop for getting her ass kicked by Obama himself. In that office she distinguished herself with treachery, treason, corruption, and pathological dishonesty.

“Vastly experienced?”

At what?

Why, at being the most perfectly representative example of Democrat-Socialist competence, intellect, veracity, and integrity since Barrack Hussein Obama…or her husband.


Why the hell not?

I’m pretty sure I could guess who she would’ve voted for last time around.

Mermaids do exist – in California.

A woman with webbed toes identified herself as a mermaid named Joanna after she was found mostly naked and walking along a dark road in the middle of the night in Fresno County.

The young brunette was wearing only a black sports bra and had wet hair when cops found her near Millterton Road and Brighton Crest Drive in Friant around 3:15 a.m. Tuesday, the Fresno Bee reported.

She told cops she was a mermaid who’d just been in the water. But she answered “I don’t know” to most of their questions.

“There are some strange things that happen up here,” said neighbor Karon Renwick. “We’re in the mountains.”

Well, one thing is clear anyway: we must ensure that she, and all other mermaids, has free and open access to whatever bathroom facilities they all feel most comfortable with.

Via Glenn, who quips: “That’s where you usually look for mermaids, the mountains.” Heh. Indeed.™


Oldie but goodie

I excreted this one into the comments at DuToit’s place just now, and I’m perverse enough to think that it should be shared with you miscreants here too, sick H8TRZZZZ!! that I know every last one of y’all to be:

Q: How do you tell when a woman is having an orgasm?

A: Who the fuck cares?


I left Kim with a vague threat to drive off his readership by sharing more of this sort of thing with them unasked—I got a million of ’em, I promise you—and if anybody messes with me I just might do it, too.


How it’s DONE

I’ve said it before: he doesn’t do it all that often, but when Glenn unleashes the snark-monster, it’s a thing of beauty.

I think we need a special redistributive tax on large urban areas, to help the left-behind folks in rural communities. To fight inequality!

Plus, as usual hipsters show complete lack of self-awareness: “It’s shitty how one side can dictate how the other side lives because they live different lives. It’s the same anywhere. When you live in the city, it’s different from living on a farm.”

Shut up and bake me a cake. Also, losing the last election “amounted to the bombing of Dresden in the last election. Trump committed Dresden. No one is in the mood be accommodating or easy.”

Democratic president Franklin Delano Roosevelt committed Dresden, which involved burning thousands of people to death. Donald Trump just undermined your fragile self-image.

If there’s anybody who can say so much in so few words—directly, to the point, and without belaboring it at all—I sure don’t know who it would be. They don’t call him the Blogfather for nothing, you know. I’ve been doing this for nearly as long as he has, and he still schools my ass like a newb sometimes.



Y’know, if you had asked me twenty or even ten years ago (hell, even five) I’d have sworn that I’d never, ever get tired of women talking candidly about, showing off, or otherwise calling attention to their, uhh, naughty bits—much less confirmed hotties like Gwyneth Paltrow, Cate Blanchett, and Emma Watson. But man, I just gotta say it: between all that and the relentlessly revolting pig Lena Dunham added in for what seems to be nothing but pure spite on somebody’s part, and…man, I wish they would all just dry up and blow away already.

And just don’t let’s get started on “pussy hats,” awright? Jeez.

Yep, at this point I’d have to say the mystique and fascination are gone for good, and if I never see another one—be it artistic representation, photograph, or in the flesh—well, honestly, I’m good with that. Never thought I’d say that, or could even imagine saying it, but there it is.

Thanks a pantload there, “ladies.”


Ticks latch on

Take a hike, losers; after swatting your dull blades from our backs, we don’t need you, we don’t want you, and you’re only in our way.

So-called Movement Conservatism is a zombie movement, shuffling along until someone has the decency to put it out of its misery. That does not mean the army of people who have made a living peddling it over the last few decades are going to retire. They are looking for some way to weasel their way into the new thing. They look over at the cool kids raising hell on-line, building their own thing and the old guys of Conservative Inc are naturally jealous and want to be a part of it.

This is not an easy task. Buckley Conservatism was revealed to be nothing more than the candy coating to the Progressive nut inside the prevailing orthodoxy, when they went all in on the NeverTrump nonsense. It’s not that the cool kids will not forgive them. It is that there is no point to it. These are yesterday men with nothing to offer. National Review is one of those abandoned houses in Detroit. It’s only purpose is as a reminder of past mistakes. Otherwise, it can be plowed under and not one will care.

The current relationship of this new thing on the Right to the old conservative movement is a lot like what David Horowitz described as the relationship between the New Left and the old reds from the previous generation. When the New Left got going in the 60’s and people noticed it, suddenly every old commie in the country was trying to get in on the act. They were rejected not because they were old, but because they had nothing to offer.

Now that’s just not true, and completely unfair. National Review has at least, oh, a couple dozen or so subscribers; a dysfunctional, pain in the ass website; and a fistful of mildewed dead-tree pages enthusiastically endorsing Severe Conservative Mitt Romney for president left to bring to the table.

At least.

Update! Now here’s an idea: Manhattan commercial rents being what they are, maybe NR could look into sharing office space with their dear colleagues at the NYT in their, uhh, streamlined new digs. I understand there’s lots and lots of room available.

Oh, excuse me, is that a grave I’m dancing on? Sorry ’bout that, I had no idea. Heh.



Ouch. Just…ouch.

It is often argued that the appeal of politics is that it allows people to gain power and wealth, without having to invent a better mousetrap or figure out a better way to build a mousetrap. The reality is that the main attraction for guys like Kristol is they see punditry and commentary as fields where there is no right answer. Science, math, business, these are fields with right answers and more important, wrong answers. In the productive world, wrong answers have consequences.

Third rate men will always be drawn to endeavors where everyone can claim to be right, by simply saying that everyone else is wrong. That’s how a Bill Kristol can trade on the family name and his father’s accomplishments to lever himself into positions of authority within the Republican Party. He is good at the small strategies of parlor room politics, but entirely worthless at everything else. It is no wonder that he fell for every crackpot policy idea of the last 25 years. He had no basis from which to judge them.

Bill Kristol imagines himself as a hawk, soaring the skies looking down upon the world and seeing its parts move before him. In reality he is just a frog leaping into the air, catching glimpses of the world on his way down.

Man, that one stung from all the way over here.



They’re insane.

There is no logic. There are no facts. You can say blue, and they will hear white. One plus one equals cat. Calling the left mentally ill is truly a disservice to those who are mentally ill. At least with mental illness there’s a reason for the madness and a hope for a cure. There is no hope for the left. They are suffering from a deep-rooted spiritual sickness, one for which, I’m afraid, there is no cure.

When you compare a United States President to a creature who killed 6 million Jews and 5 million others, what exactly is the starting point for a logical conversation?

They’re not interested in starting a conversation. They’re interested in shutting it down.

It’s like the idea of negotiating, or nation building, with people who live in caves. What exactly will we be offering, bigger caves? How do you converse with people who are more offended by a Holocaust Remembrance statement than they are with a nuclear deal negotiated with a country that not only denies that it happened but who now calls for the extermination, and mass annihilation, of 6 million more?

How do you talk to people who use the Holocaust as a prop? The Jews, the disabled, the gays, and those who were different were all exterminated. They have now become a straw man for the spiritually depraved, demonic left. What do you say to people who chant “We are all Muslim” when the Muslim is looking at them, going: “Yes, that is the goal isn’t it, dead or alive?”

When you are spiritually dead, the level of depravity, as to how you treat others, has no limits. There is no low to which you will not stoop. Let’s be clear. This is the left, not Democrats, not liberals, but the left.

Gotta quibble with that one a bit. They’re damned near indistinguishable at this point; if you hope to make a distinction between Pelosi, #BlackLiesMurder, Al Franken, and any recent random urban rioter you’d care to name, well, it seems to me you’ve got your work cut out for you splitting those hairs. In the end, it’s a waste of time, and a fool’s errand.

The protesters, the media, the celebrities, and the leaders are the “Walking Dead.” How soulless and lifeless can one be, calling for a military coup against a President (Sarah Silverman)? Or, comparing the President to the Taliban (Whoopi)? Anything and everything comes out of Nancy Pelosi’s non-moving mouth. Are you serious, encouraging protesters to be more violent (Judd Apatow)? Does watching the Apatow produced Girls count as extreme torture? I guarantee you that the radical Islamist extremist would rather be waterboarded than see Lena Dunham naked.

Okay, well, I guess even the Muzzrats can’t be wrong about everything.


Moderation: no virtue

A parable of effete haplessness and ineffectuality:

Moderate: Okay, gentlemen… take 5 paces, then turn and shoot. SJW has won the coin toss and will shoot first. Understood?
Conservative: Yes.
SJW: Whatever.
Moderate: One…
SJW: turns and points pistol, hand trembling in terror
Moderate: looks at SJW scornfully Two…
SJW: CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE! shoots in Conservative’s general direction… misses horribly
Conservative: What the deuce? turns around You bastard!
SJW: How dare you turn around! You’re not a gentleman!
Moderate: Conservative! You must take three more paces before you may turn around!
Conservative: That coward shot at me after two!
Moderate: Do not lower yourself to his level! Death before dishonor!
Conservative: That doesn’t mean what you think it does! aims at SJW
SJW: EEK! cowers
Moderate: How dare you! draws pistol on Conservative If you do not turn around this instant, I shall shoot you myself, you dishonorable cur!

In my version, the conservative would have just shot both of them immediately. It’s the only way to be sure, you know.


You might be a Democrat….

Ahh, the cognitive dissonance is strong with these ones:

If you’re more offended that Donald Trump once said the word ‘pussy’ than Bill Clinton getting blow jobs in the Oval Office by a 21-year old intern…

If you can listen to Madonna, Miley Cyrus, and Lady Gaga complain about how Trump degrades women and not burst out laughing…

If you think a person’s gender is fluid but sexual preference is permanently fixed…

If you’re against the death penalty but are OK with abortion…

If you believe Russians hacked the election, but there’s no need to investigate the possibility of voter fraud…

And then the reader contributions, which are just as good:

If you think Lena Dunham is attractive but Melania Trump is not…
(h/t SMFH)

if you want to ban tobacco and legalize marijuana
(h/t duncan)

…if you think every man is a rapist, but if he puts on a dress your daughter is perfectly safe with him in a locker room
(h/t Chris Taylor)

If you believe your actual violence is protected free speech but my protected free speech is actual violence.
(h/t Flyboy)

If you believe that cops are mostly corrupt and violent and racist, but you also believe that they’re the only people who should be allowed to have guns…

If you love to gloat about how “dumb” Americans are, while insisting that our public school system is perfect and can’t be improved (except by throwing more money at it)…
(h/t Prothonotary Warbler)

If you think “piss Christ” is an important artistic achievement, but “piss Mohamed” is a hate crime, you might be a Democrat.
(h/t Dave_in_fla)

If you voted for Ted Kennedy every time he ran, but wouldn’t vote for Trump because he said pussy, you might just be a Democrat.
(h/t Tammy al-Thor)

If you think a hundred-year-old ideology that has failed every time it’s been tried, by a multitude of nations all across the globe, counts as a “new idea” and is in any way truly progressive


Oh, irony!

Totally lost on them, of course.

RUSH: This John Lewis business, Trump… I’m telling you, folks, the guy… They just can’t intimidate him, they can’t scare him, they can’t shut him up. He’s back tweeting about John Lewis. Now, you would think that after the press barrage of the last couple of days their effort to shame Trump for, “How dare you attack this man who was beat up on the Pettus Bridge in Selma 50 years ago? How dare you attack him! How dare you?” Trying to shame Trump. “You attack John Lewis, civil rights icon?” So Trump tweets out, “John Lewis lied. He said mine is the first inauguration he’s not gonna attend.

“He didn’t attend the George W. Bush inauguration. John Lewis lied.” Can you say the media is having a cow? My gosh, “Trump doubled down on it!” And the John Lewis office had put out a statement: Yes, that’s true. Congressman Lewis did boycott the inauguration of George W. Bush because he also didn’t think that election was legitimate. Trump was right. So this is the Trump pattern. Do something, the press has a cow, and Trump doubles down. He doubled down. And then, do you know he had a meeting yesterday with Martin Luther King’s son at Trump Tower?

Martin Luther King’s son entered Trump Tower, got in the elevator, went up, met with Trump. They prayed. And Martin Luther King III came out and talked about how it was very constructive. They prayed, they talked about Martin Luther King Jr. and his great work, and the left is having collective heart attacks. And now Martin Luther King III’s a sellout. “How dare he! In the middle of this John Lewis conversation, how dare he side with Trump against John Lewis?” Who, again, was beat up on the Edmund Pettus Bridge.

Yeah, beat upside the head, 50 years ago on the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, by a bunch of Democrats. Bull Connor. It was Democrats who turned the fire hoses on John Lewis. It was the Democrats that beat John Lewis upside the head. It was Democrats turned the dogs loose on the protesters. It was the Democrats that made up the KKK and still do.

The Democrat Socialists haven’t been this pissed off since a Republican freed the slaves. All of which would go right over the head of a hopeless, barely-sentient dolt like John Lewis, of course.


Holidays officially over

It is with great heaviness of heart and something close to real grief that I take down the good old Scrooge Picard theme every year. It’s one reason I haven’t done much posting the last week; I just couldn’t bear the thought of it. As long as I stayed away from here, Picard would remain up, and the holiday season was still in some small way extant. The long dark night of January and February was knocking at the door, but I just wasn’t into opening the damned thing.

But like it or not, the fun, warmth, and peaceful reflection of the holidays is well and truly over; the wonderful music is off the radio, the cheerily colorful lights and decorations are put away until next year, and now we settle in for the long, grim haul of winter. There’s actually snow on the ground here in the sunny South, and temperatures this week have struggled to break out of the teens, although it’s supposed to be up to 75 this weekend, thank God.

I dunno, I always loved winter best as a young ‘un, but the older I get, the more miserable it seems to me. I was watching a neighborhood kid ride his dirt bike through the fresh snow the other day, just sliding and brodeying and blasting up roostertalls all up and down the street. He was having a ball, and I can remember doing the exact same thing when I was his age, and loving every minute of it. Now, my only thought was, “Lord, that looks AWFUL. I would no more do that shit than…”

Getting old ain’t for pussies. Except when it is. Could be worse, though; I could be in Buffalo.

Or Chicago, heaven forbid. And just like that, I suddenly feel a lot better about things.


Ahh, Finland

I’ve been to Finland a couple or three times, still have friends that I keep in touch with there (including one guy who has all the Playboys CD covers tattooed up and down his arms), and I can tell you that to anyone who knows those wild, crazy, and tough-as-nails Finns, this should come as no surprise at all.


Rock on, Finlandia.


A different take on Pizzagate

I mean, completely different.

Pizzagate represents another, slightly less detectable shift, and frankly, I can’t say that this one displeases me. Indeed, I’ll make a confession: There’s a part of me—the dark, nasty part that I only allow out every now and then and only for the basest of reasons—that is taking a bit of delight in seeing the D.C. leftist elites at the center of this non-scandal having their lives turned upside down because a horde of trolls has decided to misrepresent a bunch of pictures, paintings, and flippant comments in order to spin them as proof of a “pedo” ring.

The cloddish sleuths of Pizzagate have been egged on by the fact that many of the leftist elites who hover in or around Comet Ping Pong (the “epicenter” of the supposed conspiracy) enjoy showing off how “evolved” they are by being cheeky little monkeys when it comes to mixing sexual imagery and children. “Oh, look how very progressive we are. We run a pizza shop for kids, but we book sexually explicit music acts and post violent and lewd pics on our Instagram! Look at my art collection; the sexual images of children prove how fearless I am! A night of ‘spirit cooking’ would frighten those superstitious evangelical throwbacks, but I get the joke, because I’m an impish little centaur who absolutely loves having fun with dark imagery in order to show off how non-demon-haunted my superior mind is.”

Make no mistake—these leftists, these targets of the Pizzagate gumshoes, are indeed misunderstood by their tormentors. Their “cheekiness” regarding kids, sex, Satanism, etc. is not proof of a “pedo ring”; it’s just leftists wallowing in the last remaining sty that has yet to be cleaned out by their own PC morality police. Invoking imagery of children, sex, and the “dark arts” is the only remaining bit of “edginess” they’re allowed, the only time they can playact at being Lenny Bruce. So yes, the “cheeky monkeys” of the left have been misread by a group of conspiracy-minded oafs who have queered the fun by spinning every Comet Ping Pong-related word and image into something diabolical…and I hate myself for saying this, but good. The left has been doing this to the right for years—taking every off-the-cuff comment, every word uttered in the heat of the moment, every successful or failed attempt at humor, on the part of conservatives, and spinning it to “prove” how secretly racist, sexist, and homophobic we are. What the left has done to conservatives, especially in the internet age, is Pizzagate exactly. Everything we do, everything we say, is interpreted in the worst possible way in order to paint us as vile creatures with malicious intent. With Pizzagate, some high-profile leftists are finally getting a taste of what that’s like.

Hopefully, they’ll have many more opportunities over the coming days and years to have their own bullshit crammed down their throats by the shovelful.


Civics lesson, anyone?

SE Cupp whimpers from the typically prone, cheeks-spread Cuckservative position about Trump; Bill reminds her of a little something she seems to be glossing over:

Trump is a political neophyte in every sense. Time and again he has proved he’d need a basic civics lesson before taking the oath of office.

This, from noted Kookservative S.E. Cupp, is typical of the sort of steaming nuggets Kookservative commentators love to litter their prose with.

She is, whether she realizes it or not, actively working to get Hillary Clinton elected president. Since she makes no mention of Clinton needing a “basic civics lesson” before taking the oath of office, one must presume that she doesn’t think Clinton needs one.

On what fucking planet is that, you blart-brained nitwit?

Here’s the “basic civics lesson” HIllary Clinton needs, and most definitely before taking office.

Thirty years to life.

“Restore” conservatism—elect the treasonous felon!

Hey, makes sense to me—for certain values of “sense,” that is. Ace takes it from there:

They talk all day about “Principles,” but discard the most basic principles — such as keeping a proven lawbreaker out of the White House, or just honestly admitting which candidate they’re actually supporting to their readers — as convenience may recommend.

In fact, right now they’re howling about Ted Cruz’ “calculations” in endorsing Trump, while not admitting their own pose of “Being Against Both Equally” is in fact a completely contrived lie they’ve calculated will permit them to agitate for their candidate (Hillary) while not compromising their career prospects within Conservatism, Inc. too much.

How much can I agitate for Hillary while still retaining plausible deniability?

How much can I agitate for Hillary to appease my anti-Trump donors while still keeping enough pro-Trump readers that my anti-Trump donors will feel they’re getting enough eyeballs per dollar of their patronage?

I think I’m out. And I think I’m defecting to the Democrats after this because, if I have a choice between one group of corrupt lying scumbags who think their (much over-vaunted) position gives them special rights in this democracy unavailable to the commoners, then I’ll side with the party where I get the least social grief.

If I’m to get nothing I want from either party — not even the minimum respect of being offered the truth — then I’ll go with the party where I don’t have to make apologies for my political leanings at parties.

If (they’re) both liars and elitist scumbags who think they have Right to Rule, what the fuck do I care which of them is in charge?

Annnnd bingo. Right there it is. I’ve been saying it for years now.


The more you know…

You thought perhaps I was kidding about the Gary Johnson e-mails?

From: Gary Johnson
Subject: 13 Percent!

It’s Happening!

A new Quinnipiac poll shows Gov. Gary Johnson at 13%, within the margin of error of the 15% threshold for the debates.

That’s a full 3 points higher than the last Quinnipiac poll just a few weeks ago.

What we are doing is working!

However, the same poll shows that 53% of voters haven’t heard enough about our campaign to form an opinion.

However, I have, bub. Unfortunately for you. Congratulations on this stunning milestone on your way to…wherever it is you’re going, though.


Won’t somebody help this poor woman?

A different perspective on Sick Hillary.

What the heck is wrong with her daughter, Chelsea, that she is not stepping in and telling her mom, the campaign, and the entire political world that her mother is sick and that she should not be put through all of this? Chelsea’s just a few years younger than me, with children of her own. While our financial and social positions are light years apart, Chelsea and I are in the same boat when it comes to having older parents with clear health problems and finding ourselves in that transition period where we start becoming caregivers to the people in our lives who once gave such good care to us.

Well, except that professional politicians at Sick Hillary’s level, most of whom are driven to spend almost all their time grubbing for power, have to hire it done. So if Chelsea is to become a caregiver to the person that once “gave such good care” to her, she’s going to have to find whatever nanny or attendant or other staff was paid by her biological parents to do it.

I get why all the political operatives aren’t saying anything and are blindly ignoring the ugly truth about Hillary’s collapsing health: it was her turn to be the nominee and the nominee she now is and their finances and futures depend on her staying in this race.

Plus, if they said something and managed somehow to ruin her chance at the ultimate power she’s longed and worked her whole life for in so doing, she’d have them killed.

I get why the media is working overtime to cover up events like this bizarre collapse of hers in New York: ideologically and emotionally most reporters are committed to dragging Hillary across the finish line however they can. I get why all the people who donated to her campaign need her to keep going: they expect a return on their investment, like the nights in the Lincoln Bedroom they had the first time the Clintons lived on Pennsylvania Avenue.

But I don’t get why Chelsea says nothing, watching her mom’s body give out on her in such a spectacularly degrading and demeaning way while cell phone cameras capture it all. That woman in the blue pantsuit losing her shoe in public is not just a presidential candidate or a gravy train for Chelsea: that is HER MOM.

Well. In a manner of speaking.

Where is Chelsea’s compassion and love for her mom? Not her mother’s ambitions. Not her family’s quest to retake the White House they seem to feel belongs to them. Not her political party’s hunger for power. Where is Chelsea Clinton’s basic, primal, human need for her mom to be healthy, safe, and okay? Why isn’t she demanding her mom get the care she so obviously needs?

Ah, but see, there’s where you’re making your mistake: you’re assuming actual human emotion and empathy in people who have none. That would include Chelsea, who’s spent her whole life in the toxic atmosphere of professional politics and likely has as little of those things as her godawful parents do.




"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

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