OOOOOOPS!

Quite possibly the most hilarious Freudian slip in all of recorded history.


More:

On Wednesday, former President George W. Bush made an unfortunate slip up during a speech condemning Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Bush was discussing democracy’s importance and the threats it faces in the U.S. and abroad when he made a gaffe that has since captured a significant amount of attention.

“In contrast, Russia elections are rigged,” said Bush. “Political opponents are imprisoned or otherwise eliminated from participating in the electoral process. The result is an absence of checks and balances in Russia and the decision of one man to launch a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq – I mean, of Ukraine.”

Bush then laughed it off, shrugging as he said “Iraq, too” under his breath.

“Anyway– 75,” said Bush, making a joke about his age.

By way of useful comparison, please note that the current illegitimate White House occupant has been attached like a remora to the Deep State teat for half a century, is three years older than Bush is, and beclowns himself far more severely than Bush’s little brain fart above multiple times every day.

5

Diversity-Americans: not up to snuff

Forget it, Jake, it’s Coontown.

When you order ice cream, you don’t want to hear “We’re out” or “It’s broken,” yet it has been happening so often across the United States in recent years that it became somewhat of a cultural meme that spawned considerable media interest. Reports indicate that up to a quarter of McDonald’s ice cream machines are not operational at any given time.

Ice cream sales make up 3% of total McDonald’s sales (over $22 billion annually), amounting to about a quarter of a billion dollars a year. If the company is losing out on roughly 25% of that, we have a $56 million question on our hands every year.

Media outlets looking to cover the story and capitalize on the “McBroken” meme published dozens of quite lousy pieces concluding that the extensive cleaning process and heat sanitization cycle are to blame for the machine’s maladies. I never bought that story for a few reasons. One thing that doesn’t add up with the “cleaning” explanation is why any restaurant would clean a machine while it is open, and how it could be true that ten to 25% of all working hours in them are dedicated to “cleaning.” Perhaps nobody wants to clean the machines, so they merely say that it is not working.

Then, in April 2021, a YouTuber named Johnny Harris uploaded a now-viral video with over nine million views titled, “The REAL Reason McDonald’s Ice Cream Machines Are Always Broken.” In this 30-minute exposé, Harris elaborates a new theory that has gained acceptance as the actual reason for the McDonald’s ice cream downtime. Harris explains that the manufacturer of the ice cream machines, Taylor, is to blame. Taylor is the industry standard and the same company that makes ice cream machines for most quick-service restaurants, and has been supplying the equipment to McDonald’s since 1956. The next time you see an ice cream machine, look for the manufacturer’s name. It’s probably a Taylor.

Harris posits that Taylor has made the machines intentionally onerous to operate so they can generate future revenue out of repair contracts. The theory is that Taylor deliberately makes ice cream machines that are always in need of service and are generally too complicated for restaurant workers to understand. Hence, they call Taylor’s service technicians, which keeps the company flush with cash flow. It’s an interesting theory, and the video hams it up. There are plenty of suspenseful cuts, long stares into the camera, and moments when you are supposed to be in shock as facts are uncovered, such as the long working history between McDonald’s and Taylor. Harris wants you to believe that corporate greed on Taylor’s end is to blame. In a way, Harris created the perfect scapegoat: shifting the blame from restaurant workers to shadowy business practices. People loved it, too. And it is entirely wrong.

There are some holes in this story as well…

Of all the outlets to cover the story, none of them got close to what I found, including The Wall Street Journal, Business Insider, Mashed, Boston Globe, Wired, and Inc. Vice News almost got there; they had the proper dataset to solve the mystery, but they fumbled, as expected.

First, I had to dig back a couple of years to find an article I remembered seeing which confirmed something we already know: restaurants owned by blacks, in black areas, do not perform as well as those in “less diverse” communities. McDonald’s has over 200 black franchisees out of the 1,700 or so owners — enough to make the data statistically reliable. Stores that the black franchisees own an average of $68,000 net less per month than all franchise stores. That’s $816,000 per year, per store, lower than the chain’s average.

There are probably many reasons for this disparity. Some black franchise owners postulated that a lack of black leadership in the McDonald’s corporation is an issue. I’m not sure there is a connection. Another issue raised was that black owners tend to own stores in black neighborhoods, where costs are high and sales are lower. There is a notion that nebulous socioeconomic issues tied to things like “white privilege,” “white supremacy,” and “systemic racism” are to blame: i.e., blacks have less money as a whole to spend on fast food, therefore making the sales of black-owned McDonald’s restaurants lower. To the extent that socioeconomic forces are genuine and legitimate, I will say the issue is not systemic racism or white people, but sub-Saharan genetics.

One of the black franchisees was interviewed about his experience. He said “my stores are hellholes,” and lamented that they are robbed once or twice per month. His further comments revealed that his stores are often vandalized: people destroy the bathrooms and break the windows, and a murder had even taken place on the premises of one restaurant.

The murder in the McDonald’s reminded me of a grocery store in Atlanta called “Murder Kroger.” The Ponce de Leon Avenue Kroger earned that nickname by being the stage for many violent crimes. Some Kroger stores actually left black neighborhoods not far from where I live because their outlets there were the worst in the company, suffering from extreme shoplifting and security issues. After pulling out of these neighborhoods, the company was declared “racist” and blamed for contributing to “food deserts” in black communities. The stores were simply not profitable and not worth the headache to keep open. Although some argue there is a white supremacist conspiracy theory keeping blacks from having nice grocery stores in their neighborhoods, the black community itself runs them out of business through their behavior. As states and cities continue to decriminalize shoplifting, this trend will continue.

Another black McDonald’s franchisee said that his stores were among the worst in the company. They have low cash flows, serious staffing problems, and are often robbed. The black owners often blame McDonald’s corporate. Still, they did not seem to realize that their real gripe is with their own community and the behavior of their racial cohort. Part of the extra costs that the black franchises have to pay are for security, high insurance premiums, and constant repairs.

I interviewed a McDonald’s employee who works in a very “diverse” restaurant. He confirmed some of my theories and observations and added great additional insights. He mentioned that the restaurant where he works often has to repair bullet holes resulting from drive-by shootings in the street where they are located. Sure, racism could be blamed for the lack of sales in black stores in black neighborhoods, but one might also suggest that many people don’t want to put their lives at risk for a McFlurry or Big Mac.

With that information in mind, and knowing that demographics affects the rate of “broken” ice cream machines, we can draw further conclusions.

Ice cream machines do not know they are in black and Hispanic neighborhoods. Thus, we can probably rule out the existence of “racist ice cream machines” that make a conscious decision to stop working so they can deprive black and Latinx communities of ice cream.

Here is where we intersect with the meta-story about journalism. The objective of journalism is no longer to inform the public, but to weave a story of their choosing into a larger tapestry. Here, we see that the mainstream media was not willing or capable of telling the full story. Millions of people reading and watching the dozens of articles and videos on the matter have been led to believe in a conspiracy theory about ice cream machines and corporate greed, when the reality — and much more plausible tale — is one of basic biological differences between groups of people.

Further, it’s possible, and perhaps even likely, that the current mainstream journalist class is made up of people entirely incapable of uncovering deeper truths and unwilling to process any information that might contradict a larger societal theme. Much like the black franchisees, I’m sure they found a way to blame anybody but those actually responsible.

As is the case with everything else in my “social capital anthology,” this isn’t an article about broken ice cream machines. This is about what happens to a society when even the base level of social functionality — the bare minimum standard required to have something that looks like a real society — cannot be met.

At some point along this trajectory, there will no longer be any upside rationalizations to be found. There will come a time when the people who cannot run the ice cream machine are not doing you a favor by making you choose better food options. There will come a time when the people who cannot run the ice cream machine are running things of a much greater importance. What will society look like when the person who is today a McDonald’s Assistant Manager who can’t or won’t ensure that the fries are hot is tasked with staffing air control towers or repairing bridges and roads? What happens when the worker who decided it “wasn’t his job” to clean the ice cream machine feels the same way about inspecting the brakes on your car? What happens when you very much need something to be done correctly, but everybody at the department in charge of whatever you need are those people who could barely keep an ice cream machine running for a full day?

How does that society look?

A very easy question for contemporary Americans to answer, most especially those unfortunate souls trapped in our urban hellholes. All they need to do is look out their window to see it crashing and burning all around them.

A lengthy excerpt from a lengthy article, of which you simply must read the all.

(Via WRSA)

3

It’s funny ’cause it’s true

Swiped from one of Glenn’s commenters, via WRSA.

CovidAbortion.jpg

If Leftwits couldn’t contradict themselves eighteen to twenty times before lunch every day, they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. For them, inconsistency isn’t an aberration, a simple error, or an intellectual shortcoming or oversight; it’s a lifestyle.

Drool, Britannia

I’m thinking Vera Lynn is probably doing some serious reconsideration of that old “There’ll always be an England” chestnut of hers right about now.

Women can be strip-searched by trans officers who were born male, say police

  • Guidelines issued to forces urge chief officers ‘to recognise status of transgender colleagues from the moment they transition’
  • The policy says it may be ‘advisable’ to replace officer carrying out search if detainee objects
  • But if ‘the refusal is based on discriminatory views’ it could be ‘recorded as a non-hate crime incident’
  • The guidance, quietly issued in December, was brought to light by retired Superintendent Cathy Larkman

Female suspects can be strip-searched by police officers who were born male but identify as women – and could be accused of a hate crime if they object, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

New guidelines issued to forces around the country state: ‘Chief Officers are advised to recognise the status of Transgender colleagues from the moment they transition, considered to be, the point at which they present in the gender with which they identify.

‘Thus, once a Transgender colleague has transitioned, they will search persons of the same gender as their own lived gender.’

The controversial advice, issued by the National Police Chief’s Council (NPCC) — the body representing British police chiefs — says it may be ‘advisable’ to replace the person carrying out the search if the detainee objects, but adds: ‘If the refusal is based on discriminatory views, consideration should be given for the incident [to] be recorded as a non-crime hate incident unless the circumstances amount to a recordable crime.’

Fantastic, I love it. Andrea Widberg strongly disagrees with my tres cynical, serves-ya-right attitude on this delightfully preposterous story:

What this means is that fully intact male police officers who identify as “lesbians” can be in charge of strip-searching female suspects.

It’s no joke about them identifying as “lesbians.” After all, just yesterday, news broke about two women in an all-women’s prison getting impregnated by a fellow inmate. This was not a miracle. These pregnancies reflected the fact that this inmate was a fully intact man who finagled his way into a women’s prison (a place I’ve heard is cleaner and safer than a men’s prison) by announcing that he is a woman.

There are few things more misogynistic than the pretense that men who claim to be women actually are women, rather than being merely mentally ill or opportunistic men. If you want a comprehensive list of women who have been abused by these sick, often psychopathic men, check out the site Women Are Human.

What’s happening in England is disgraceful, but England is scarcely unique. Gender madness has infected America, too. This must stop. Men are men, and women are women, and that’s true regardless of how they feel. I’m not a religious person, truly, but I can’t help but feel the presence of a great evil behind this press to destroy the biological binary genders that have helped define the entire mammalian world since time immemorial. 

As far as I’m concerned, the further we go off into the deep end with this nut-hatchery, the sooner Western Civ might possibly come to its senses, put a halt to it, and stop prostrating itself before a stastically-insignificant proportion of the population, one facet of whose mental disorder is a stubborn determination to be miserable no matter how humbly they’re kowtowed to. Personally, I won’t consider the battle to be truly won until cringeworthy desecrations of the English tongue like “their own lived gender” are stricken from the language, never, ever to be spoken again.

Oh, and y’all enjoy a pic of one of these fetching “transgender” English coppers. No need to thank me, I’m glad I could do it for ya.



Now just you TRY and convince me this delicately beautiful feminine confection is anything but all woman. Go on, I dares ya.

4

Now you know

As Divemedic quips: That explains it.

Disney heir comes out publicly as transgender, condemns anti-LGBTQ bills
Charlee Corra, a high school science teacher, regrets not having done more to advocate against Florida’s bill limiting LGBTQ classroom discussion.

Charlee Corra, a member of the Disney family, came out publicly as transgender and condemned anti-LGBTQ bills in a recent interview.

Corra, who uses “he” and “they” pronouns, announced that their family would match up to $250,000 in donations to the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBTQ advocacy group, during the organization’s annual gala in Los Angeles last month.

Roy P. Disney, Corra’s stepfather and the grandson of Roy O. Disney, a co-founder of The Walt Disney Company, upped that amount to $500,000 last week.

“Equality matters deeply to us,” Disney said in a statement, according to the Los Angeles Times, “especially because our child, Charlee, is transgender and a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community.”

Corra, a high school biology and environmental science teacher, told the L.A. Times that the HRC gala was sort of a public coming out for them, since they had come out privately as trans four years ago.

Wonder if anybody’s done a study yet on what percentage of these pitiful lunatics might be employed as K-12 public-school teachers? Chalk that one up to Sutton’s Law, I guess.

What’s in a name?

Hey, I don’t call ’em Demonrats for nothing, you know.


Heh. Nice catch, Kev.

1

Authentic frontier White House gibberish

Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, as is evidenced by how fast Blibberin’ Biden keeps moving right along.

Joe Biden made a series of strange and incoherent remarks during a rant against the Second Amendment on Monday, and at one point told Americans to imagine a scenario where the tobacco industry had been “immune to prostitute to being sued.”

At one point during his erratic tirade, Biden mentioned the tobacco industry and prostitution, ostensibly confusing the word “prosecute” with “prostitute.”

“The only outfit in the country that is immune, imagine had the tobacco industry been immune to prostitute, from being sued,” Biden screamed. “C’mon!”

As Valiant News reported Monday afternoon, Biden yelled about “ghost guns” on the White House lawn, confused the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms with the American Federation of Teachers, and called federally licensed firearms dealers “merchants of death.”

“Take a look at this, it comes in this package,” Biden yelled during the remarks. “You can see the picture down here maybe. This is the gun. It’s not hard to put together. A little drill, a hand drill at home, doesn’t take very long. Anyone can order it in the mail. Anyone.”

The remarks left some Americans scratching their heads with concerns over the president’s cognitive abilities and overall respect for the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, coming after Biden appeared to invent a few new non-english words lask week.

“President” Make Believe HAS no cognitive ability to be concerned over, and his sentiments regarding the 2A begin and end at pure, unrestrained loathing, same as every other shitlib. Entertaining as the above verbal diarrhea is, though, does it get even better than that? Why, I thought you’d never ask.


Good sum-up there, Joe, and eloquently put. Y’know, I begin to wonder how much more of such jabberwock might be emanating from this shambolic wreck’s cakehole that we never get to hear anything about.

Biden once again uttered non-english when he shouted “ToshuwiwebuilAmericawehavbabapromise” while speaking to a crowd at at the North America’s Building Trades Unions (NABTU) Legislative Conference just two days earlier.

“You know what it is, most people don’t.” Biden bellowed, “ToshuwiwebuilAmericawehavbabapromise, a promise!”

Classic, truly classic. And still there’s more of it. Ladies and gentlemen, all rise for the “President” of the United States.


“Dangerously close”? Sorry, Kev, but Joey Silvertongue left “trunalimunumaprzure” in his dust a good while back. Gabby Johnson can only envy the man.



One for BCE

Just ’cause he brought this up:

It reminded me of the old Lone Ranger joke…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are looking down the side of the mountain into the valley, which is teeming with ten thousand pissed off Apache. Lone Ranger looks over to Tonto and says “Looks like we’re in a tight spot old friend!”

To which Tonto looks at him and says “What’s this “we” shit Paleface?”

Heh. A pretty decent oldie-but-moldie that reminded me of this, from 1974…when I was all of, erm, uhhhhh…fourteen years old?!?

DAMN, but I’m old.



Yeppers, that little ditty was a solid AM radio hit in my youth, among many other off-the-wall and inexplicable novelty offerings. No need to thank me, Expat. Probably no reason to, either.

Liberalis agonistii

Mommy, it HUUUUUUURTS.

It has been unseasonably cold in Washington D.C. this spring. The blossoms on the cherry tree on my front lawn had barely bloomed when a cold snap and heavy wind-driven rain scattered the petals all over my front lawn. I stepped out front to pick up a box of herbs left there to be planted when a neighbor passed by.

I don’t know him very well, but his virtue signaling was a rather good clue as to where his sympathies lay. His lawn was peppered with signs: ”Biden-Harris,” “Hate has no Home Here,” “Build Bridges not Walls,” “Refugees Welcome Here,” “Climate Action Now,” “Gun Control Now,” “Black Lives Matter,” “Defund the Police.” By their lawn signs you shall know them, I thought. Still, I was polite — waved and said, ”Hi.”

He apparently had something on his chest he just had to get rid of and approached me.

“It’s Trump’s doing!” he shouted.

Nonplussed, I simply raised my eyebrows and let him continue.

“He only pretended to run against Biden. He wanted him to win!”

“Really?” I asked.

“It’s perfectly obvious. Getting Biden and Harris elected was his diabolical way of destroying the Democratic party for decades! They and the Democratic party’s policies are so stupid, the people can’t stand them. Can’t wait to get rid of them.”

I didn’t wish to disturb this already vexed man more, so, saying nothing, I tilted my head suggesting I wanted to hear more behind his tirade.

“I can’t think of a thing Biden’s done which doesn’t make life worse for everyone. He’s losing Black and Hispanic voters and even suburban White women with this craziness. He’s paving the way for Iran to get nuclear weapons and upset the peace in the Middle East, to detriment of our allies. He’s stirring up Putin in a way that may lead to World War III. He’s thrown out so much money that inflation is soaring, and average people are finding it hard to put food on the tables and a roof over their heads.

“Crime,” he muttered. “It’s out of control. This defund the police stuff is ridiculous. Five cars were broken into on this block in the last two weeks. There was a multiple shooting in the motel where the government has been housing the homeless three blocks away the week before. I’ve never seen anything like that in this neighborhood before!” (I looked again over his shoulder. The “Gun Control Now” sign had also vanished from his lawn.)

Aww, what a shame Shitlib Neighbor has to live in the dreadful conditions created for him by his own kindred Komrades and Kommissars. Some advice foor ya, Commieboy: next time someone tries to explain the suicidal folly baked right into your ideological cake, only to wind up losing patience, closing out the whole pointless exercise by calling you an imbecile and stalking off all purple-faced looking for something to punch a hole into, maybe you should try listening for a change.

“And then there are the absolutely moronic things he and Harris say. This week he said that if we buy electric vehicles, we’ll save about $80 a month on gas. But those cars on average cost $56,000, a great deal more than conventional cars, and electricity — largely produced by fossil fuels — costs more because he’s made it more expensive by hamstringing the production of gas, coal, and oil. So even if his calculation were true, it would take decades for someone to afford to purchase an electric vehicle to achieve such savings.

Aww, too bad; things had been going so well up to that point. But when she put factual words into her clearly fictitious liberal’s mouth, Clarice well and truly screwed the pooch and ruptured her verisimilitude altogether; as we all know, liberals DON’T KNOW ANY FACTS. In fact, shitlibs deeply loathe and fear them] like the cancer, scuttling away at high speed to the nearest available Safe Space™ at the merest suggestion that a Fact™ might be skulking about in their vicinity, rushing to bar all doors and windows, turning off the lights, then hiding in a closet or under a desk until the dangerous Microagressor™ has passed. Nothing wrong with a good yarn, of course, and Feldman always was a skilled spinner of ’em. But dammit, don’t piss down my leg and tell me it’s raining, ol’ girl. You can’t kid a kidder, y’know.

1

I bring you glad tidings of great joy!

Rather, Aesop does.

Breaking: Biden/Harris Resign Ahead of Impeachment
(WASHINGTON DC) After news broke early this morning of confirmed widespread election fraud in Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, with further states announcing widening probes, the House of Representatives was set to debate articles of impeachment this afternoon, when news came from the White House that the current regime would step down, rather than force a constitutional crisis, and formally conceded losing the 2020 election.

Donald Trump was sworn in at his residence at Mar-A-Lago early this morning, and is returning to Washington D.C. later today to take up his interrupted presidency where he left off. Trading on Wall Street has been suspended in advance until next Monday, and gasoline futures have plummeted to $3/gallon on the news, with further drops likely.

On hearing of the change in U.S. leadership, Vladimir Putin has announced the immediate and unconditional withdrawal of all Russian forces from Ukraine, which was confirmed by unnamed Pentagon military sources.

Ambulances have reportedly been taking staff members from all major networks, the WaPo, and the NYTimes to hospitals in Washington D.C. and New York City, where ERs are reportedly flooded with a surge of patients with chest pain and possible strokes.

Early word from Capitol Hill is that with the dissolution of impeachment hearings, the Senate is poised to take up the nomination of FL gov. Ron DeSantis as the new nominee to serve as Vice President, after former VP Pence announced he would not be joining the new administration, by mutual consent.

Ordinarily, with any news item we’d have to take at least a little bitter with the sweet. But not this time; this, my friends, is nothing but pure, unleavened SCHWEEEEET!

Go on over and enjoy the rest of it, by all means. But don’t forgot to click the link he included, but I didn’t, when you’re all done. As comedowns go, it’s a brutal one.

Update! Thanks to liberal killjoys’ standard practice of sucking all the fun out of life via “fact-checking” satire and humor articles, PJM writer and professional funnyman Kevin Downey Jr says he’s not allowed to run any April Fools stuff this year.

If you think lefty fact-checkers are GLUTEN-free, you should test them for humor.

I was up until 2:00 a.m. writing April Fools’ Day story headlines and articles only to learn PJ Media would not be posting funny stories today because angry, self-loathing, “progressive” fact-checkers aren’t familiar with humor, and we at PJ Media are too busy to explain the meaning of sarcasm to them every time we post an article.

That means we won’t be posting OBVIOUS joke stories like this:

Nancy Pelosi Injured When Rare Springtime Florida Frost Forces Lizard People To Fall From Trees
Nancy Pelosi was visiting her new home in Florida and apparently didn’t check the weather report. She was sleeping comfortably in a nearby tree when temperatures dropped to unseasonably low levels, forcing lizards of all sorts to freeze up and fall to the ground.

“I swear, Rick DeSantis purposely did this to me and my people,” an angry Pelosi stated from a local hospital, which, thanks to DeSantis, was not full of COVID patients.

Though Pelosi did suffer a concussion, her transgender physician, Dr. Mangina, said it could have been much worse.

“The aging birther Speaker is lucky she fell into a large pile of empty wine boxes, which serendipitously fell RIGHT under where she was sleeping.”

You also won’t see these tantalizing headlines:

Drunk Hillary Clinton Ejected From Jamba Juice For Demanding Baby-Blood Smoothie

Transgender Woman Loses ‘Her Penis’ in Bizarre Tampon Accident, Rejoices: Two Hours Later Wants It Back

Emoluments Clause Anyone? Joe Biden Pens Deal With Chinese Depends Adult Diapers

Biden and Kamala Impeached and Convicted, House Declares Trump President!

Oh wait, I’ll hold on to that headline for a while…

Sorry folks, don’t blame us. We are more than happy to do these all day. As usual, liberals ruin everything.

It’s who they are, it’s what they do. Time once more for me to trot out my depiction of the patron saint of all liberal/Leftism.

ChurchLady.jpg

They’ll deny it, but that’s only because, deep down, they know it’s the truth.

All over the place

This one is so great I just…just…I just can’t even.


The question confronts us: what does one even say to something like this? And the answer comes back: I have no fucking idea.

Via Bayou Peter), who seems to be about as gobsmacked by this as I am.

2
1

A becoming modesty

It ain’t bragging if you can DO it.

Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole. These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts. Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike, and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging—and I don’t like people who brag!

Oh, of course not, Mr President, sir. Perish the thought. Your well-known modesty is in fact what so many of us admire most about you.

AHEM.

1

Tilting at windmills

An idea whose time has come—but will never arrive.

It is time to impeach and convict Joe Biden.

The nation and the West cannot take another two-three years of this criminally corrupt and inept disaster.

They’re gonna have to, alas. The chances of the House actually sending articles of impeachment to the Senate, even moreso the Senate voting to convict, hover somewhere between “Zip, zero, nada” and outright “Laughable.” That sad fact notwithstanding, there’s an airtight case to be made in favor of it.

Every day it seems, despite the censorship and the fake de-bunking, we get more and more evidence of Biden’s criminality. He and his family, of course, have been long known as crooks and liars in the pockets of Delaware-based credit card companies.

The lies told by Joe are legion. His brother is a well-known and unsavory character as is his son, Hunter; and they have dealings with Joe, the “big guy” who gets ten percent.

We now suffer the worst presidency in our history; none other comes close.

Biden moved into the White House thanks not only to massive electoral fraud, but to an unprecedented support by big tech and media firms who carefully edited and suppressed information hurtful to Biden. In addition, Biden, and many of those around him, e.g., Jake Sullivan, helped created the fake Trump-Putin hoax, which not only almost brought down the Trump presidency, but made it impossible to have normal relations with Russia–and we are paying for that now as we face the possibility of a major war in Europe. The DNC, with the active participation of Joe Biden, FBI, CIA, and the media engaged in a massive criminal conspiracy against a sitting president.

Let us not forget that Trump’s great “crime” in the second impeachment was to ask too many questions about the Biden-Ukraine link. That, my friends, was the great driver of that most fake of fake impeachments. Trump was getting close to upsetting the whole cart of rotten apples. He was asking dangerous questions.

Which reveals the main reason impeaching Biden is the real-world embodiment of Don Quixote’s Impossible Dream: it ain’t just Biden that should be impeached; in fact, removing him from office would do little or no good. It’s the federal government entire that needs to be removed. Until it is, we’re doing no more than shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic. Biden is merely the frontman for the true source of our problems, the Invisible Ones who cannot be touched.



The banality of evil update! Is unleashing the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse an impeachable offense?

The four horses and four afflictions, conquest, war, famine, and pestilence, neatly encapsulate the administration of Joe Biden. Old Joe himself is to a great degree responsible for this impression, as he seems to like to sound apocalyptic notes. He certainly has done so more than once, particularly when he declared on Dec. 16, 2021, “For unvaccinated, we are looking at a winter of severe illness and death — if you’re unvaccinated — for themselves, their families, and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm.” There’s the Biden pestilence. Yes, COVID-19 came upon us during the Trump years, but Biden promised to end it, and that turned out to be yet another of his empty promises. With Anthony Fauci threatening that “more rigid” restrictions are in the offing, pestilence looks as if it’s going to be a permanent feature of the Biden era.

The Biden famine is more of a threat than reality as of yet, but it could come to us any day now. As PJM’s Athena Thorne noted, Biden said Thursday, “With regard to food shortage, yes, we did sss- re- re- s- talk about food shortages. And, uh, and it’s gonna be real. The price of these sanctions, ahem, is not just imposed upon Russia, it’s imposed upon an awful lot of countries as well, including European countries and our country as well.”

Biden’s war is obvious: it is happening in Ukraine now. However much the establishment media tries to blame Trump for Putin invading Ukraine, and pretend that Trump would be applauding his move if he were still president, the ineluctable fact remains that Putin moved against Ukraine and occupied Crimea while Barack Obama was president, did nothing while Donald Trump was president, and launched the present invasion while Old Joe Biden was pretending to be president. And conquest? Look at the people streaming into the country across what is officially known as the Southern border. If they keep coming at the rate they came in 2021, Biden’s threat to transform America fundamentally will be a reality.

Joe Biden has not just unleashed the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. His entire political career as a serial liar of marginal (at best) competence, cheerfully savaging Clarence Thomas and others for political gain, parading his religiosity while going to war against actual religion, presents us once again with the age-old theological problem: why do the wicked prosper? Whatever the answer may be, Joe does prosper, and that means we don’t.

The entire premise driving Mordor On The Potomac could be put thusly: Here, the Wicked shall prosper, to the enormous cost of those they falsely purport to “serve.” So Uncle Gropey didn’t have to unleash the Four Horsemen; that was done long, long ago, a preexisting condition he merely inherited, that’s all. Which, naturally, would never stop him from claiming credit for it anyhow, as we already know.

Alternate reality update! For God’s sake, this man cannot remain in power.

Last week, Joe Biden made three serious gaffes, forcing the White House to “clarify” or walk back his statements. But when he was called out on them on Monday by Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy, he denied that any of his remarks were ever walked back.

“Are you worried that other leaders in the world are going to start to doubt that America is back if some of these big things that you say on the world stage keep getting walked back?” Doocy asked?

“What getting walked back?” Biden demanded, apparently seriously.

“It may sound like, just in the last couple days—it sounded like you told U.S. troops they were going Ukraine. It sounded like you said it was possible the U.S. would use a chemical weapon. And it sounded like you were calling for regime change in Russia and we know—”

“None of the three occurred,” Biden insisted.

“None of the three occurred?” Doocy asked, shocked.

“None of the three,” Biden insisted again. “You interpret the language that way.”

Wow. I mean, just…WOW. Just when I think this duplicitous clown can no longer surprise me with shit like this, the bar gets raised yet again, leaving me speechless with stupefaction and disbelief.

1

Sticks and stones

Two funnies to enliven your Saturday evening: one via Revolver, one purloined from our chum Miguel over at GFZ. I’m happy to supply my own headline for tonight’s first selection: Dumb bint opens yap, beclowns self.

To the people who think Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump are crazy but that trans people are made up, that “cancel culture” has gone too far, that “men should be men and women should women” — congratulations, you agree with Putin. You are his ideological ally.

Yeah, okay, okay, sure. I agree with Putin, whatever. I far prefer that than ever being seen in public agreeing with the intellectually-stunted likes of you and yours. About anything at all. Ever. Now go swing that cute little butt of your’n on out to the kitchren and fetch me a beer and a samwidge, whydon’tcha.

This next one I like a lot better. It dovetails kinda nicely with my previous post, I think.

david-goliath.jpg

Continue reading “Sticks and stones”

1

As if mean Tweets weren’t bad enough

Another riotously funny move, from the Grand Master of ’em.

Trump Sues Hillary Clinton, DNC, James Comey, and Dozens of Others Over Russia Collusion Hoax
ormer President Donald Trump filed a bombshell lawsuit on Thursday, accusing 2016 Democrat Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, former FBI Director James Comey, former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, the Democratic National Committee, Democrat law firm Perkins Coie, Fusion GPS, and dozens of other bad actors of working to destroy his presidency with the Russia collusion conspiracy theory.

“In the run-up to the 2016 Presidential Election, Hillary Clinton and her cohorts orchestrated an unthinkable plot – one that shocks the conscience and is an affront to this nation’s democracy,” the lawsuit states. “Acting in concert, the Defendants maliciously conspired to weave a false narrative that their Republican opponent, Donald J. Trump, was colluding with a hostile foreign sovereignty.”

Other defendants in the case include former State Department official and spokesperson for Clinton, Philippe Reines, former FBI counterintelligence agent Peter Strzok, and former Clinton campaign advisor Jake Sullivan, who is currently Joe Biden’s National Security Advisor.

“President Trump is going on offense,” Trump spokeswoman Liz Harrington told Just the News Thursday. “He’s naming names, and he’s going after these liars who tried to rig the 2016 election, and when they failed with the fake Russia collusion hoax, when they failed to stop President Trump from winning the presidency, they used it to spy on him, to try to derail  his presidency and his administration.”

Harrington said that up until the 2020 election, the Russia collusion hoax was “the biggest political crime in our history.”

Boy oh boy, can’t wait until it finally makes its way into a courtroom, in about 2056 or thereabouts. The rest of the piece makes for entertaining reading, entertainment being about all the subject of it can ever hope to amount to in Amerika v2.0’s “swift and scrupulous” system of “justice.”

Wonder if Trump is fully cognizant of the unique position in US history he occupies: the victim of not one, but TWO, of the “biggest political crimes in our history,” he was. It’s a sort of left-handed badge of honor, to be persecuted and abused by such vile dung beetles as these “people.”

A compendium of Stupid

Having savaged the droolcase Biden, slashed Veep Kumswalla into kibbles and bits, and torn Andy Koo-mo a new squeakhole, Matt the Merciless saves the best for last.

Speaking of fossils desperately trying to rise from the tar pits, Mitt Romney is back. Like we needed this? A man too dumb to beat Barack Obama. A man who took his beating lying down and apologized to his attackers for it. A man named fucking Willard.

Yes, Mitt, you were right: Russia is the main antagonist. Unfortunately, you could not make that case during a time of bad economic policies, rising world tensions, complete catastrophe at home, the attempted destruction of the American Health Care System (COVID did that, so maybe the Chinese warranted attention, too?), and an apparent regime of compete jackasses who couldn’t find their own asses with both hands and a flashlight, on a good day, many of whom have risen from the Obama Mausoleum to reoccupy the White House.

How much it must rankle you, Willard, that the man who accused you of wanting to reintroduce slavery on the campaign trail is now sitting in the Oval Office, eating pudding and soiling himself, while you howl from the wilderness about how right you were.

Here’s your fucking cookie. Now beat it.

And then there are the (allegedly) 81 million idiots who voted for, or vigorously advocated/defended this sort of stupidity. They’re ultimately responsible for this pile of dogshit.

Where is Darwin when you need him?

Where indeed. Via MisHum.

Unkinked, unserious

Or, as Arthur labels it, Justice for Cornrows.

House passes CROWN Act, banning race-based hair discrimination
The House passed legislation on Friday that would prohibit discrimination against people with hair styles associated with a particular race or national origin.

Lawmakers passed the bill, titled the Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair, or CROWN, Act, largely along party lines, 235-189. Only 14 Republicans joined Democrats in support of the measure.

Don’t ever let it be said that the US Congress can’t, or won’t, tackle the truly serious issues.

“For too long, Black girls have been discriminated against and criminalized for the hair that grows on our heads and the way we move through and show up in this world,” said Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.).

Black women in particular are more likely to report feeling discriminated against because of their hairstyles.

Or just because, y’know, reasons ‘n’ shit, nomesayin? Back over to Arthur for some closing hilarity.

I love the name, the CROWN Act, cuz dey be thinking dey dreadlocks be crownz and sheeit. See also: Kangz, We Wuz.

Criminalized you say? For your hair and the way you “move through…this world”? This is a choice example of how blaque gals move through this world…

[…a few clips of random black-beeyotch violence and mayhem…]

Whenever they “show up” in the world, chaos and violence seem to follow them. 

A serious nation doesn’t devote even a second of time to the “problem” of racist hair rules.

Nope. Then again, all sense of seriousness and mature propriety fled Mordor On The Potomac and its environs long, long ago, alas.

OUCH!

Also: OOF.

GOP Sen. Mitt Romney still has his moments,

He does, does he? Name three. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

but it seems like those moments are becoming a bit less frequent lately. He still deserves an apology from Joe Biden and the Democratic Party for being right about Russia back in 2012, because he absolutely was. But over the weekend, he made a statement for which he should be the one doing the apologizing.

Yesterday, he accused former Hawaii Democratic congresswoman and military veteran Tulsi Gabbard of “parroting false Russian propaganda” and declared that “her treasonous lies may very well cost lives.”

As we pointed out in our post about it, the Russian government apparently appreciates Gabbard’s comments about U.S.-funded biolabs in Ukraine and has in fact been airing her interview on Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show on Russian state TV. But even taking that into consideration, Romney’s tweet goes way too far.
And, needless to say, Gabbard herself is quite angry about it. So this morning, she took to Twitter to take Mitt Romney to task over it…

Follows, a long and blistering Twitter thread from Gabbard that leaves Mittens a smoking ruin. Sad to say, the Threader unroller seems to have made a deal with the devil, sold for a mess of pottage and hidden behind a paywall, so I can’t do a plain-text excerpt of this glorious and richly deserved burn and assuredly ain’t about to transcribe all that myself. But it’s well worth the click-over, believe me.

I keep saying it: yeah, I know, dear Tulsi’s a Shitlibocrat, bassackwards and completely wrong about plenty and to spare. But dammit, I still like the cut of her jib. Unlike any of her fellow Demonrats, she actually does get one right now and then.

2

Another brief check-in from Ye Olde Bloggehoste

It may not seem like it from here, but progress is indeed being made on the not-keeling-over-stone-dead front, or so I am assured by the small army of medical personnel burdened with the task of fixing my broke-down ass. In fact, some of them are so enthusiastic about my prospects as to appear almost ready to burst into song and/or go capering about in a Happy Dance over this whole thing, well over and above the usual sunny optimism a decent Bedside Manner requires.

I now have less than thirty (30) days trapped in the rehab center, while I complete a final round of IV antibiotics they tell me I simply must have. After that, I’m a free man once more, for the first time since…

uhhh…

Dec 14th?!? No, srsly? That CAN’T be right. Can it? Ah well, my thanks to all you miscreants once more anyhoo for your attendance, and another special mention for BCE, whose unwavering support and encouragement provides the pluperfect example of what the word “brother” really means.

Back soon. Mean it.

24

Comments policy

Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit. Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) and...you won't. Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar. Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

Categories

Archives

"Mike Hendrix is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged blogger in the world." ‐Henry Chinaski

Subscribe to CF!

Support options

Shameless begging

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:

Allied territory

Alternatives to shitlib social media:

Fuck you

Kill one for mommy today! Click to embiggen

Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters." — Daniel Webster

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.” – Frank Zappa

“The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.” - John Adams

"A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves." -- Bertrand de Jouvenel

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged." - GK Chesterton

"I predict that the Bush administration will be seen by freedom-wishing Americans a generation or two hence as the hinge on the cell door locking up our freedom. When my children are my age, they will not be free in any recognizably traditional American meaning of the word. I’d tell them to emigrate, but there’s nowhere left to go. I am left with nauseating near-conviction that I am a member of the last generation in the history of the world that is minimally truly free." - Donald Surber

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved." - Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid." — Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil." - Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork." - David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." - Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine." - Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.” - Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it." - NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in." - Bill Whittle

Best of the best

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS feed

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

Contact


mike at this URL dot com

All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless otherwise specified

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

Copyright © 2022