Elongate!!!

So of course the shitlibs are now trying desperately to gin up some kind of sex scandal they can use to lay Elon Musk low, the cheeky iconoclast having proven to be completely impervious to everything else they’ve tried so far to bring him to heel and put him back in his proper place. To wit:


Bless his heart, he doesn’t seem to give a fart in a whirlwind about any of that horseshit, either:


Between Musk, DeSantis, Tucker, Trump, and a handful of others, we’re living in what could fairly be thought of as a Golden Age for smacking libtards around and making the whiny douchenozzles cry, and I for one am loving it. As Glenn quips: When you’re targeted by a clown show, the only proper response is to point and laugh. Most satisfying of all is the way they react when they get their noses tweaked like this, losing it completely in paroxysms of spluttering, stammering rage. Being aggressively taunted, disregarded, and openly made sport of—especially when it’s coming from the kind of people whose habitual passivity, obsequiousness, and reflexive assumption of the defensive crouch they’d long since come to take for granted—is such an alien sensation for them they simply can’t help but blow their stacks every time it happens to them anew.

6

OOOOOOPS!

Quite possibly the most hilarious Freudian slip in all of recorded history.


More:

On Wednesday, former President George W. Bush made an unfortunate slip up during a speech condemning Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Bush was discussing democracy’s importance and the threats it faces in the U.S. and abroad when he made a gaffe that has since captured a significant amount of attention.

“In contrast, Russia elections are rigged,” said Bush. “Political opponents are imprisoned or otherwise eliminated from participating in the electoral process. The result is an absence of checks and balances in Russia and the decision of one man to launch a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq – I mean, of Ukraine.”

Bush then laughed it off, shrugging as he said “Iraq, too” under his breath.

“Anyway– 75,” said Bush, making a joke about his age.

By way of useful comparison, please note that the current illegitimate White House occupant has been attached like a remora to the Deep State teat for half a century, is three years older than Bush is, and beclowns himself far more severely than Bush’s little brain fart above multiple times every day.

5

Tender mercies

Greatest. Auto. Review. EVAR.

‘Suffice to say the A110 absolutely crushes expectations, and your berry hanger’
The absolutely brilliant Alpine A110 is anything but sterile to drive
You’ll have heard how the Alpine A110’s combination of lightness and rightness has earned the admiration of evo’s tillermen. And that’s all well and good, but what’s it like if you’ve just had a vasectomy? To find out, I went to a central London clinic and invited a large, medically qualified man to have a good rummage amongst my underparts, then realised with dismay that I had booked to borrow a low-slung French sports coupe almost immediately afterwards.

The first thing to cross your mind upon seeing the A110 is just how little it is and also how much your balls hurt. You can immediately sense that this is a car from which all excess has been banished, and this impression is reinforced by opening the featherweight aluminium door, which is so lacking in mass that it puts no strain whatsoever on your mangled knacker sack, unlike its low-slung driving position, which is absolute agony.

Once in, you can take a moment to admire the bespoke seats with their one-piece backs and upsettingly unpillowy cushions. You might be interested to learn that these chairs weigh just 13.1kg each, despite fine detailing including quilted leather and a grippy central section that expertly rides your jeans up into the tenderest parts of your plum pouch.

The rest of the interior is, perhaps, a little less successful, featuring a smattering of Renault parts bin components, including remote audio controls seemingly taken from the Renault 19, and the flat keyless entry card from the Laguna, though wrapped in a smart leather case that makes it both more attractive to look at and better equipped to shift awkwardly across your pocket and nudge stoutly into your tenderised clacker hammock.

Okay, that there is some truly inspired stuff. Hats off to Richard Porter for his dedication to his craft, taking one for the team and putting his boy beans in harm’s way to bring us this truly stellar article. Well done, young feller, well done.

“Clacker hammock.” I swear, I just can’t stop laughing at that one.

1

The sweet, sweet nectar of Progtard tears

Arthur on what the Musk/Twitter brouhaha really means for us.

It is glorious. There hasn’t been this much overwrought reeeeing on social media since the 2016 election and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

Let’s be clear. Elon Musk is not one of us, he is not /ourguy/. Mostly he seems like he is a bit crazy. What he is should be enough though, he is an agent of chaos in many ways like Trump: a goofy billionaire who has enough resources to do crazy crap like becoming President or buying a social media company for $44 billion.

I don’t know if he will make the moderators allow free speech or not. I doubt you will be able to tweet “nigger” on Twitter even with Musk in charge. Maybe old suspended accounts will be reinstated, that would nice so I could have my original account with my real name back although I don’t know what I would do with the other half dozen old suspended accounts. At a minimum I expect to see the Babylon Bee reinstated and hopefully Project Veritas and others on the dissident right who have been suspended like Jared Taylor.

It is a little win for /ourside/ not because Elon is /ourguy/ but because this makes the Left so angry and exposes once again how hypocritical they are. I will bask in the tears, sweet and salty tears, for a day or so but the real fight won’t be won on social media.

Bingo. Musk is an ally of convenience, most likely a very temporary one at that. I can’t say I’ve paid a great deal of attention to the guy until this most recent dustup, and I definitely don’t give a damp fart about Twatter. I do seem to recall that Musk is, or was at least, pretty gung-ho on the Climate Change (formerly Global Warming, formerly Global Cooling, formerly “the weather”) scam, one of the leading indicators of latent shitlibbery.

But after watching Musk dangle the Left entire from his finger like the world’s whiniest yo-yo for the last couple of weeks, Mr Musk is all right with me. As I always say: any time Leftists are upset, Americans are winning. No matter how fleeting the victory is, how insubstantial it seems to be, we should still celebrate each win to the fullest. If nothing else, our revelry is sure to make the agony of Le Progtarde last longer and hurt more. Time for this old CF favorite once again, I do believe.



4
1

Can’t hide this decline

More Blibberin’ Biden.

Something is wrong with President Joe Biden, and everyone knows it.

Last week, Biden was asked if his administration will consider delaying the end of Title 42, a pandemic immigration restriction that allows for fast deportation of migrants illegally crossing our border in the name of stopping the circulation of COVID-19.

Biden started rambling. “No. What I’m considering is continuing to hear from my — my — First of all, there’s gonna be an appeal by the Justice Department. Because as a matter of principle, we want to be able to be in a position where if, in fact, it is strongly concluded by the scientists that we need Title 42 that we’d be able to do that. But there has been no decision on extending Title 42.”

It turned out he was talking about mask mandates on airplanes and other forms of transportation. That raises the issue of consistency: If the administration will continue to push masks on planes because COVID is still a threat, isn’t Title 42 protecting against that same threat?

But it would at least be nice if the president knew what he was talking about.

Who would seriously expect any such thing from a lifelong ProPol marionette like Howdy Doody Biden? Moreover, WHY would they? It’s not as if Gropey ever DID know what he was talking about, even back in the days before the Alzheimers had taken him completely off his chump and he’d started angrily hooting and cawing at lawn statuary out of the clear blue sky, or attempting to engage parked cars, restaurant awnings, and manhole covers in casual conversation.

This isn’t simply misspeaking. He seems fully out of it, and we’re all watching quietly.

So? What’s anybody supposed to do about it, anyway? Vote for Romney or something?

On Friday, Biden tried to comment on Florida’s new Parental Rights in Education law and came out with this word salad: “There’s nothing conservative about deciding you’re going to throw Disney out of its present posture because Mickey Mouse? In fact, do you think we should be not be able to say, you know, ‘gay’? I mean, what’s going on here?”

Yeah, like you’d have the vaguest clue about that.

On Easter Monday, a reporter at the White House asked Biden about Afghanistan. As he started answering the question, a staffer in an Easter bunny costume appeared, waving her arms in front of Biden’s face and ushering him along to a different part of the event.

It’s funny, sure, but it’s also kind of scary.

But mostly funny. It’s only scary to the kind of nebbish thumbsucker who still thinks the President has anything much to do with actually running the country.

Who is really running the show at the White House? The president often makes comments about what he’s “allowed” to say, how many press questions he’s permitted to take and which specific reporters he can call on. Who is making these decisions? Is Joe Biden the president or not?

Sure he is, for the time being at least. But he’s exactly the kind of “President” The Power always wanted for itself, and finally has: a shambling, stumbling, biddable meat-puppet who goes where he’s told to go, does what he’s told to do, and says what he’s told to say. He knows his part in this theater production and is content to play it, leaving him no reason to offer the Men Behind The Curtain any resistance or grief about it except maybe when he’s having one of his “episodes,” or coming out from under the reanimation drugs.

A half-century spent assiduously licking Deep State ass; learning every twist and turn in the Swamp there is; and enlisting his entire family in building one of the most brazen and barefaced influence-peddling, baksheesh, logrolling, and out and out bribery operations the world has ever seen prepared one Joe Robinette Biden, hack of all hacks, to do the bang-up job of pretending to govern the nation while lining his pockets, rewarding his friends, and punishing his enemies we’re now witnessing. The soulless, witless empty suit is certainly no statesman. He isn’t admirable, honorable, nor particularly personable, at least from what I’ve seen and read of him. What he IS, though, is infinitely malleable, unimpeded by any of the usual traits that would tend to cause a normal person to hesitate, hold back, or stay his hand: ethics, empathy, dignity, basic human decency.

Is Joe Biden the President? Of course he is; as a senescent figurehead guiding a senescent country gently into That Good Night, he’s one of the very best fits for the job there could possibly be in America’s twilight years. It’s just that some of us old dogs need to let go of the archaic notions concerning what a President is supposed to be and to do which we had hammered into us all these years and get ourselves right with contemporary reality, that’s all.

4

Freedom of speech: Yer doin’ it wrong

Just in case there was still a shred of doubt left: free and unfettered speech, open debate, and respect for dissenting opinion are NOT the essential cornerstones of Leftist ideology. Quite the oposite, actually; they are to the Left what garlic is to vampires.

Human Rights Watch, ACLU, Amnesty International Clutch Their Pearls in Horror At Elon Musk’s Purchase of Twitter
There has been one salutary effect of the weeks-long efforts of Elon Musk to gain control of Twitter, and the debate over the freedom of speech that ensued: now the Left’s foremost individuals and institutions are out in the open about their hatred for the freedom of speech.

What, they weren’t before? My God, how much more “out in the open” could they have possibly been? Why, next, you’ll be telling me that their affinity for naked tyranny, Red in tooth and claw, is no longer a closely-held secret or sumpin’.

The authoritarian heart of the Left has been exposed, as has their war against the foundational principle of any free society: the right to express oneself even if one’s opinions don’t coincide with those of the powerful and/or moneyed elites. Barack and Hillary hate the freedom of speech and want you to think it’s a dangerous toy, too dangerous for you to play with. And now three pillars of the unctuous and hypocritical Leftist “human rights” establishment, Human Rights Watch (HRW), Amnesty International, and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), have come out against it as well.

Reuters, adopting the solemn, even funereal tone it reserves for significant Leftist setbacks, noted Monday that Musk has described himself as a “free speech absolutist” and has called the freedom of expression the “bedrock of a functioning democracy.” That’s exactly what it is, and that’s why Leftists are enraged that someone who believes such things has gained control of one of the foremost means of mass communication in our age. They had become complacent in their control of such outlets, as confident of the rightness of their power as much as any medieval king was in his divine election; but now their hegemony has been severely challenged, and so it’s time to try to shape public opinion by calling out the self-appointed and reliably Leftist “defenders of human rights” to explain to us why this is so very, very wrong.

Deborah Brown, whom Reuters describes as a “digital rights researcher and advocate” at Human Rights Watch, asserted: “Regardless of who owns Twitter, the company has human rights responsibilities to respect the rights of people around the world who rely on the platform. Changes to its policies, features, and algorithms, big and small, can have disproportionate and sometimes devastating impacts, including offline violence. Freedom of expression is not an absolute right, which is why Twitter needs to invest in efforts to keep its most vulnerable users safe on the platform.”

See, it’s all about preventing violence. As the Left relentlessly insists, conservative speech not only leads to violence, but in itself amounts to violence. If Twitter allows freedom of speech, people are going to get hurt.

So fucking what? I’m A-okay with hurting them, and I ain’t just talkin’ superficial wounds neither. You shitlibs wanna kvetch, cavil, and snot all over yourselves about how “conservative speech is viiiiolence!” before crawling off to your Safe Space for a good cry, well, I gots one thing and one thing only to say to that:



Yep, I freely admit it: if being willing to stoop to any excuse at all as justification for running another clip from Tombstone—especially one featuring Val Kilmer’s matchless portrayal of Doc Holliday—I am guilty as charged, and can only throw myself on the mercy of this court. Onwards.

This argument would have a great deal more force if Human Rights Watch had ever called out Antifa or Black Lives Matter violence, or if the “white supremacists” that Biden and Merrick Garland and other Leftists keep insisting are the biggest terror threat the nation faces today actually showed themselves, or if HRW had ever shown concern about Leftist violence against those who dissent from its agenda. But HRW is not remotely consistent; it has never shown any concern for the violence that might arise from Leftist speech.

Au contraire, good sir; HRW, ACLU, SPLC, and all the rest of the letters in the shitlib pressure-group alphabet soup are consistency itself. The way they shamelessly flaunt their rank hypocrisy and self-serving double standards is the very heart and soul of the word. You could set your watch by the boneless little twerps; they’re more reliable than Old Faithful itself.

Update! Sarcasm so caustic it burns the skin.


Not so terribly weird, really. They’re afraid to say a fucking word to the Saudis, or any Muzzrat; they don’t dare, lest the outraged Muzzie(s) start hacking limbs off them, blowing them up in shopping malls, or toppling buildings onto their chowder-filled heads. Musk, not so much. They may hate his guts for being such a rock-ribbed advocate for freedom of speech, and they do, frantically, frothingly so. But they aren’t afraid of him, any more than they are of us.

(Via Stephen)

Libertad update! Sara Gonzales is having way too much fun with the newly Muskified Twitter.


Whereupon girlfriend does indeed get wild up in there, bless her heart. Scroll down and read ’em all, then weep for the agonizing trauma old-line Twatterers are suffering after being forcibly exposed to unfamiliar points of view, fresh new concepts, and opinions that aren’t necessarily congruent with their own.

Change you can BELIEVE IN!

Looks like the Great DeSantini has big plans for Disneyworld now that the rat-themed, Groomer-run abusement park has had their sketchy sovereignty arrangement rendered null, void, and defunct.

Florida legislature has revoked Disney’s self-governing status which means that some bold new changes are on the way. Disneyland in California will remain a popular site for human trafficking but the Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL is going to experience a dramatic overhaul.

Take a look at these exciting changes on the way:

  1. The Hall of Presidents will just have 46 animatronic Donald Trumps: They are the greatest robots, maybe ever. Everyone says so.
  2. Chip and Dale will now reside in separate trees: We can’t let our children be corrupted by cartoon characters having too close of a relationship.

There are ten of these, of which my own pick for top o’ the list would have to be this one:

6) All Disney princesses to be replaced with Melania Trump: Finally, real diversity!

OH HELL YEAH. That there is diversity to make a guy stand up and cheer. Maybe now Roy can stop spinning in his grave at extreme velocity and go back to sleep. Oh, and in case you guys were wondering where “The Great DeSantini” might have come from, this should help clear it up.



Just a fantastic flick, if you never saw it before. One of Duvall’s very best performances, which is really saying something. In fact, I’m not entirely sure, but I believe he won an Oscar for it.

1

The operative word in the phrase “chicks with dicks” is “dicks”

Reality is that which doesn’t go away when you decide to stop believing in it.

NJ women’s prison inmates pregnant after sex with transgender prisoner
Two inmates serving time in New Jersey’s only state prison for women became pregnant after they had sex with a transgender inmate, according to a report Wednesday.

The unidentified jailbirds became pregnant at the Edna Mahan Correctional Facility after engaging in “consensual sexual relationships with another incarcerated person,” the state Department of Corrections told NJ.com.

In 2021, New Jersey enacted a policy to allow prisoners to be housed in accordance with their preferred gender identity.

The policy was part of a settlement from a civil rights suit brought by a woman forced to live in men’s prisons for 18 months.

There are more than 800 prisoners, including 27 transgender women, at the Jersey correctional facility, which does not require trans women to undergo gender reassignment surgery in order to be housed there.

I’ve been railing about this ever since the beginning of the current “transgender” fad, and everyone just goes right on ignoring me: if your male-type courting tackle is still in place and intact, you can call yourself “trans” this, “trans” that, or any other flavor of “trans” you like…but what you in fact ARE is still a garden-variety, Mark 1-Mod 0 transvestite. Nor more, no less. Sorry to have to be the one to break it to ya and all, Butch.

3

Drool, Britannia

I’m thinking Vera Lynn is probably doing some serious reconsideration of that old “There’ll always be an England” chestnut of hers right about now.

Women can be strip-searched by trans officers who were born male, say police

  • Guidelines issued to forces urge chief officers ‘to recognise status of transgender colleagues from the moment they transition’
  • The policy says it may be ‘advisable’ to replace officer carrying out search if detainee objects
  • But if ‘the refusal is based on discriminatory views’ it could be ‘recorded as a non-hate crime incident’
  • The guidance, quietly issued in December, was brought to light by retired Superintendent Cathy Larkman

Female suspects can be strip-searched by police officers who were born male but identify as women – and could be accused of a hate crime if they object, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

New guidelines issued to forces around the country state: ‘Chief Officers are advised to recognise the status of Transgender colleagues from the moment they transition, considered to be, the point at which they present in the gender with which they identify.

‘Thus, once a Transgender colleague has transitioned, they will search persons of the same gender as their own lived gender.’

The controversial advice, issued by the National Police Chief’s Council (NPCC) — the body representing British police chiefs — says it may be ‘advisable’ to replace the person carrying out the search if the detainee objects, but adds: ‘If the refusal is based on discriminatory views, consideration should be given for the incident [to] be recorded as a non-crime hate incident unless the circumstances amount to a recordable crime.’

Fantastic, I love it. Andrea Widberg strongly disagrees with my tres cynical, serves-ya-right attitude on this delightfully preposterous story:

What this means is that fully intact male police officers who identify as “lesbians” can be in charge of strip-searching female suspects.

It’s no joke about them identifying as “lesbians.” After all, just yesterday, news broke about two women in an all-women’s prison getting impregnated by a fellow inmate. This was not a miracle. These pregnancies reflected the fact that this inmate was a fully intact man who finagled his way into a women’s prison (a place I’ve heard is cleaner and safer than a men’s prison) by announcing that he is a woman.

There are few things more misogynistic than the pretense that men who claim to be women actually are women, rather than being merely mentally ill or opportunistic men. If you want a comprehensive list of women who have been abused by these sick, often psychopathic men, check out the site Women Are Human.

What’s happening in England is disgraceful, but England is scarcely unique. Gender madness has infected America, too. This must stop. Men are men, and women are women, and that’s true regardless of how they feel. I’m not a religious person, truly, but I can’t help but feel the presence of a great evil behind this press to destroy the biological binary genders that have helped define the entire mammalian world since time immemorial. 

As far as I’m concerned, the further we go off into the deep end with this nut-hatchery, the sooner Western Civ might possibly come to its senses, put a halt to it, and stop prostrating itself before a stastically-insignificant proportion of the population, one facet of whose mental disorder is a stubborn determination to be miserable no matter how humbly they’re kowtowed to. Personally, I won’t consider the battle to be truly won until cringeworthy desecrations of the English tongue like “their own lived gender” are stricken from the language, never, ever to be spoken again.

Oh, and y’all enjoy a pic of one of these fetching “transgender” English coppers. No need to thank me, I’m glad I could do it for ya.



Now just you TRY and convince me this delicately beautiful feminine confection is anything but all woman. Go on, I dares ya.

4

“Satanic vector of disgrace”

Wh-eeeelll DOGGIES, but I sure wish I’d come up with that one myself.

The go-to lever of concerted mind-fuckery has been the term-of-art misinformation, applied especially to things and propositions that are truthful — thereby confounding the public’s ability to discern truth in anything, or to discover how they are being misled in matters of life and death. We’ve allowed the worst in human nature to disgrace ourselves. Satan, Father of Lies, is Western Civ’s paragon of disgrace, and so American life appears more and more Satanic and disgraceful.

All this was epitomized in the operation of Twitter, the cheerful little bluebird of social messaging which evolved in a very few years into an instrument of coercion, punishment, deception, and lying, until it became clear that Twitter’s misinformation was misinformation itself. Half the nation doesn’t believe anything it is told by those in authority and the other half revels in its reckless abuse of authority.

And so, it’s refreshing to see one Elon Musk act to seize control of this Satanic vector of disgrace. Mr. Musk appears motivated to defeat the culture of lying by restoring open debate in the ubiquitous online public arena. It’s a heroic deed. But, you see, it’s not merely Twitter’s management or its biggest shareholders that Mr. Musk is messing with, but malign forces in the US government, which have surreptitiously taken control of Twitter and other social media to work its will on events. If you don’t know that Twitter, Facebook, and Google are proxies serving the US Intel Community, then you have not been paying attention.

Which only serves to underscore Musk’s most endearing trait: his devil-may-care nonchalance, his flat refusal to be intimidated by anything or anybody—even on those occasions when he probably should be. Musk is a man driven to spit in the eye of the Devil himself, then dare him to offer a single murmur of complaint. Even better, you can easily see that, far from being afraid, Elon is thoroughly enjoying himself. Love him or hate him, the man is a 100 percent, bona fide badass, of a stripe America used to be quite damned adept at churning out, but seems frightened half to death of now.

What the heck, having obliquely mentioned the Clampetts up yonder, here’s a clip Buddy Ebsen would probably rather everybody would forget about if he was still around. Take it, Jed:



Forget? Hell!

Good deal

Mr Torba suggests an alternative route for Mr Musk.

This morning Elon Musk sent Twitter’s Board an offer to buy the entire company for $40B+. As I wrote last week, anything that explicitly has the aim of bringing more free speech to the internet for more people is a good thing.

Twitter has legacy problems that Gab doesn’t. They are fully dependent on third-party infrastructure. We are not. We “built our own,” everything. Hosting, email services, analytics tools, ecommerce, payment processing, all of it. We built it all.

You also have to consider that bringing free speech to Twitter isn’t as simple as buying it. Apple and Google do not allow free speech, so if you stop the censorship they will kick Twitter from both app stores. We already solved that problem and overcame it.

Twitter operates in countries where mass censorship is required by law. They have offices in these countries. They have no choice but to comply with the censorship demands of those countries or risk being shut down, fines, etc.

We understand this very well and have dealt with it, telling those countries to get lost.

Then there is the problem of Twitter’s community itself. It skews massively left and thus anti-free speech. If you allow free speech on Twitter again, those people are absolutely going to leave because their fragile worldview can’t handle the reality that free speech brings.

As a good friend pointed out rightfully to me this morning: “I highly doubt they will accept his offer. They would rather shares go to zero than hand over narrative control. If they do accept they will sabotage internally and to whatever degree he makes good changes Twitter will get the Gab treatment from the globohomo.”

In light of these truths, I’d like to offer Elon a counter offer to his very expensive and overpriced Twitter deal.

That’s from the Gab News email list I subscribe to, so no link, alas. Out of nothing more than force of habit I was gonna leave off there, just as I would with any article or blog post I was using as my jumping-off point. But since I’m quoting here from an email list that most of y’all probably ain’t on, it occurs to me that fair use is right out the window, liberating me to expand the excerpting so as not to leave any of my valued CF Lifers hanging like that.

Ladies (!) and germs, I give you The Rest Of The Story (/PaulHarveyvoice).

Elon,
I founded Gab in 2016 because I believe in its potential to be the platform for free speech around the globe and I believe free speech is a societal imperative for a functioning constitutional federal republic.

However, since founding Gab I realized that in order to provide a free speech platform you must also have free speech internet infrastructure. Gab has since transformed from merely a social network into a free speech internet infrastructure company. We built our own servers, our own email services, our own payment processor, and so much more not because we wanted to, but because we had no choice if we were going to continue to exist.

What we are missing at the moment is an ISP. I fear that the next big leap of censorship is at the ISP level, with ISP’s blocking access to Gab.com. You solve that problem with Starlink. Together we can build infrastructure for a free speech internet.

I am willing to offer you a Board seat along with equity in the company in exchange for you selling your Twitter position and investing $2B into Gab. My offer is my best and final offer.

Gab has extraordinary potential. Let’s unlock it together.

Man, I’d giggle myself hoarse and dance around like a giddy schoolgirl if Musk jumped all over this excellent offer, but he probably won’t. Honestly, it reminds me a great deal of how puzzled I was as to why the hell Trump, back when he was Preznit and Twatter and Fakebook were dicking him around right and left, didn’t just tell Fuckerburg and Dorksnort to go piss up several ropes while watching him make the jump to Gab and Parler or one of the other options that were popping up all over the place at the time. DJT would easily have brought several million followers right along with him in the first ten minutes, thereby killing two birds with one stone: Bird #1) an internet home for our 1A right to freedom of expression would thus be secured, and Bird Numero Dos) Twatter and Fuckstickbook would at last have ha dsome legitimate, credible competition to fret their sorry asses some.

Goon squads update! And as if on cue, they come for him.

Elon Musk hit a nerve in Washington DC as the Biden-Harris regime scrambles to intimidate him following his announced plans to acquire Twitter and make it a private company. Reports are coming in that they’ve suddenly launched several investigations into his dealings, none of which seem to have anything to do with Twitter.

It is unclear what the Department of Justice wants with him, but one thing is very clear. The Biden-Harris regime desperately wants to take him down before he does something that hurts them such as buying Twitter and opening the door to free speech on what he has described as the “digital public square.”

Well, if Musk didn’t know he was in a war before, he damned well ought to now.

Yer doin’ it wrong update! I thought I was all done with this topic for tonight, until liberal dumbass Max Boot decided to put his oar in.


Uh HUH. So according to this self-proclaimed Supergenius!!!™, the only chance for the survival of “democracy”—the US ain’t one, never was one, and hopefully never will be—is via more censorship and less free speech and debate? Forgive me and all, but does that seem like kind of a DIRECT FUCKING CONTRADICTION IN TERMS on its very face? Just admit it, shitlib poltroon: like all Lefty fascists, the only kind of “free speech” you support is your own, and that of the pig-ignorant, back-asswards fools who agree with you. In Leftard circles, dissent simply is NOT countenanced; you either endorse their opinions or you sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up, that’s all.

There there, Maxie-boy, is hims all fwightened by the howwible, howwible “impact on society and politics” caused by the Bad Rich Man buying his pwecious widdle social-media playpen and then kicking his dainty ass out of it, in effect, just by making it a less comfortable place for weak sisters like you to strut, swagger, and bullyrag other kids in? Too bad, so sad. I hate it for ya, I really do.

Oh, and…nice hat, dickhead. Offsets the geek-goggles just right, methinks, especially with the way you’ve so laboriously positioned said fedora on your oblated head with just the right jaunty tilt. Taken with the saggy, baggy overcoat, you somewhat resemble what some effete urban hipster-douchebag thinks an old-school, rough-and-tumble, whiskey-swilling REAL journalist might look like. Of course, if said douchebag had ever encountered such a frightful thing in the flesh, he/she/it would have run away from the apparition as fast as his/her/its pudgy, dimpled legs would carry him/her/it, pissing his/her/its pants every step of the way just from the mind-bending terror of the thing.

Sorry, Waxey Maxie, but fearless correspondents like Ernie Pyle, Frank Bolden, Bill Mauldin, and Joe Galloway wouldn’t deign to piss in the mouth of a sniveling worm like you if your goddamned gums were on fire. How sad for you that your lifelong heroes would never be caught dead associating with you in public, no matter how extravagant a bribe you offered them to disgrace themselves so badly.

Fuckin’ punk-ass bitch.

Abbott follows through

Guess the ancient question, “is that a threat or a promise,” has now been answered in at least one context.

Texas begins dispatching buses to the border to transport illegal immigrants to DC
The Texas Division of Emergency Management tells Fox News Digital each bus can ‘carry up to 40 migrants’
Texas has dispatched buses to the southern border to retrieve illegal immigrants after Gov. Greg Abbott said this week that he planned to send those released in his state to the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C.

Within the last 24 hours, the Texas Division of Emergency Management (TDEM) has dispatched an unspecified number of buses to small Texas communities that are said by officials to be overwhelmed by an influx of migrants placed there by the federal government.

“In the last 24 hours, TDEM has dispatched buses to areas where communities have expressed concerns about the federal government dropping off migrants and has the capability to send as many as is necessary to fulfill the requests from mayors and county judges,” Seth Christensen, chief of media and communications for TDEM, told Fox News Digital.

Sweet as all that undoubtedly is, it gets even sweeter.

Christensen also said the majority of areas in the state that expressed concern over the large numbers of illegal immigrants being placed in their communities now say the federal government has “stopped dropping migrants in their towns” since Abbott’s announcement.

“From the [Rio Grande Valley] to Terrell County, a large majority of the communities that originally reached out for support through this operation have now said that the federal government has stopped dropping migrants in their towns since the governor’s announcement on Wednesday,” he said.

Well, howzabout that: as with an unruly puppy, all FederalGovCo really needed to make it straighten up and fly right again was a good, firm smack on the nose. More hilarity from PJM.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott wasn’t bluffing when he said he would bus illegal aliens dropped off by the federal government in small Texas communities to Washington, D.C. Apparently, DHS simply dropped the illegals off without warning and without asking permission. Many Texas towns were blindsided by Joe Biden’s “catch and release” policy and were begging Abbott for help.

White House press secretary Jen Psaki whined that Abbott’s voluntary bus rides were a “publicity stunt.” Well, duh. But immediately after Abbott’s announcement, the federal government stopped dropping illegal aliens in the towns that had been pleading for help.

Senator Ted Cruz thought Abbott’s idea was so good he introduced legislation to expand the illegal alien transport program to what he considered to be other rich, Democratic enclaves.

Those enclaves include Martha’s Vinyard, Palo Alto, CA, Greenwich, CT, Scarsdale, NY—all wretched hives of shitlib villainy, thus deserving of having a few busloads of illegal aliens dumped at their doorstep. The wrap-up:

Abbott feels backed into a corner by the Democratic president. His choice is to fight the government using the tools of insurrection — publicity stunts and economic disruption. It’s all he has left before the human tidal wave is upon his state.

Ahh, but see how easy it is? All it took was just a small dose of tit-for-tat to get the goobermint to back down. Not to say they won’t try to wait Abbott out a while, to later on resume their on-the-sneak skullduggery when they figure attention has waned and they can get away with it. At which point Abbott must get his Wetback Coach Express Lines on the road again right away, perhaps even double down and escalate things in some way. And then, should that fail, I can think of a few other, less subtle “tools of insurrection” that might be resorted to in a pinch.

Good on ya, Governor Abbott. Your move now, Gov DeSantis. Make us all proud.

1

What’s in a name?

Hey, I don’t call ’em Demonrats for nothing, you know.


Heh. Nice catch, Kev.

1

Authentic frontier White House gibberish

Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, as is evidenced by how fast Blibberin’ Biden keeps moving right along.

Joe Biden made a series of strange and incoherent remarks during a rant against the Second Amendment on Monday, and at one point told Americans to imagine a scenario where the tobacco industry had been “immune to prostitute to being sued.”

At one point during his erratic tirade, Biden mentioned the tobacco industry and prostitution, ostensibly confusing the word “prosecute” with “prostitute.”

“The only outfit in the country that is immune, imagine had the tobacco industry been immune to prostitute, from being sued,” Biden screamed. “C’mon!”

As Valiant News reported Monday afternoon, Biden yelled about “ghost guns” on the White House lawn, confused the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms with the American Federation of Teachers, and called federally licensed firearms dealers “merchants of death.”

“Take a look at this, it comes in this package,” Biden yelled during the remarks. “You can see the picture down here maybe. This is the gun. It’s not hard to put together. A little drill, a hand drill at home, doesn’t take very long. Anyone can order it in the mail. Anyone.”

The remarks left some Americans scratching their heads with concerns over the president’s cognitive abilities and overall respect for the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, coming after Biden appeared to invent a few new non-english words lask week.

“President” Make Believe HAS no cognitive ability to be concerned over, and his sentiments regarding the 2A begin and end at pure, unrestrained loathing, same as every other shitlib. Entertaining as the above verbal diarrhea is, though, does it get even better than that? Why, I thought you’d never ask.


Good sum-up there, Joe, and eloquently put. Y’know, I begin to wonder how much more of such jabberwock might be emanating from this shambolic wreck’s cakehole that we never get to hear anything about.

Biden once again uttered non-english when he shouted “ToshuwiwebuilAmericawehavbabapromise” while speaking to a crowd at at the North America’s Building Trades Unions (NABTU) Legislative Conference just two days earlier.

“You know what it is, most people don’t.” Biden bellowed, “ToshuwiwebuilAmericawehavbabapromise, a promise!”

Classic, truly classic. And still there’s more of it. Ladies and gentlemen, all rise for the “President” of the United States.


“Dangerously close”? Sorry, Kev, but Joey Silvertongue left “trunalimunumaprzure” in his dust a good while back. Gabby Johnson can only envy the man.



Winning ways

The great Ron DeSantis stays on the offensive.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced on Wednesday that he would send the illegal immigrants dumped by Biden’s administration in Florida to Biden’s home state of Delaware.

Governor DeSantis vowed to transfer the illegal immigrants to sanctuary states like Delaware, saying they now have the funding for rerouting.

It can be recalled that DeSantis introduced a proposal last December to add $8 million to the state’s budget in order to send those illegals out of the Sunshine State and into Democrat areas such as Marthas Vineyard and Biden’s home state of Delaware.

“If businesses or contractors are dumping people who are illegal into Florida from Southern Texas, you know, we’re going to go after their ability to do business in Florida,” Gov. DeSantis said Wednesday after he signed the No Patient Left Alone Act into law in Naples, Florida.

“If Biden is dumping people, which he has dumped people, they fly them in at 2 in the morning. They haven’t done it lately, but they did it many months ago. We now have money where we can reroute them to sanctuary states like Delaware. And we’re going to do that, to make sure we’re keeping people safe here.” DeSantis asserted.

On the same day, Texas Governor Greg Abbott also announced he would begin to use up to 900 charter buses or “as many as needed” to send illegal immigrants to Washington, D.C., as part of his strategy for the overwhelming influx of illegal immigrants.

“We are sending them to the United States Capitol, where the Biden administration will be able to more immediately address the needs of the people that they are allowing to come across our border,” Gov. Abbott continued.

Be sure to dump some of ’em onto the White House lawn, too, so’s ALL the architects of the forced repopulation of the US can fully enjoy the fruits of their efforts. More like this, please, just as fast as it can be done. Keep THEM on the ropes, their hands effectively tied as they wonder and worry where the next blow might be coming from. In the wise words of the Wizard of the Saddle: Get ’em skeered and keep the skeer on ’em.

5

Bye Bye Birdie Biden

Biden, bye bye.

Democrats Prepare Biden for Senocide
The end will be cold. Up the mountain, set adrift upon an ice flow, or shuttled away in silence, geronticide of The Big Man draws nigh. His days may count less than one hundred.

Prepare to say goodbye. His pack of hyenas have turned their backs.

Bye bye? Sorry, no. The self-serving, crooked scumbucket deserves a farewell nothing near as polite, especially not from the much put-upon American people he’s ridden like a rented mule for five decades. More like good riddance.

The Bidens hold no value for the party. The Bidens are white, and a liability.

As for “The Big Man,” the Japanese call it ubasute. To carry an old woman up a mountain and leave her to die.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole; t’is a consummation devoutly to be wished, as far as I’m concerned. As Glenn said in the Coen brothers’ classic Raising Arizona, somebody oughta sell tickets.

(Via WRSA)

Things you already knew; things you didn’t already know; things you’d rather you hadn’t found out about

Oh, this one’s weird all right.

Will Smith, Chris Rock, And The Weird Thing You Didn’t Know About Evolution
Sunday night’s  on-stage assault at the Oscars—in which black actor Will Smith slapped black comedian and MC Chris Rock for making a joke about Smith’s black wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s baldness—was ridiculed on Twitter as “Oscars So Black.” This reference to the earlier “Oscars so White” meme bemoaning the supposed under-representation of black people as Oscar winners [The lack of diversity among the 2020 Oscar nominees feels disappointingly familiar, by Emily St James, Vox, January 13, 2020] was particularly cutting, because it was so obviously true. As I have charted in detail in my 2020 book Making Sense of Race, African-Americans—compared to White Americans—are, on average, and for powerful evolutionary reasons, more aggressive, more violent and more sexually promiscuous, with Smith’s wife’s extra-marital affair possibly being relevant to his reaction on some level. Specifically, black people have higher levels of testosterone than Whites, when imposing relevant controls such as age and obesity. But they have smaller testicles.

My Danish colleagues Emil Kirkegaard and Prof. Helmuth Nyborg and I have demonstrated this interesting phenomenon in a recently published study in Mankind Quarterly: “Europeans Have Larger Testes than Sub-Saharan Africans but Lower Testosterone Levels.”  Our paper drew upon the Vietnam Experience Study which involved the mental and physical examination of 4,462 US soldiers. About 60% of these had served in Vietnam and the rest were controls who had served in other places such as Korea. The data were collected between 1965 and 1971 and then there was a follow-up study between 1985 and 1986. Testosterone levels were measured via blood analyses. There was a clear difference between the 3,654 Whites and the 525 blacks. Blacks had higher testosterone levels than Whites. (The study also sampled Hispanics, Native Americans and others but the numbers were too small to produce statistically significant differences).

But in addition, blacks’ testicles were significantly smaller than those of Whites. Testes were initially examined using a caliper to measure the long axis of both testes. However, after 1st January 1986, by which time approximately half of the veterans had been examined, the caliper was replaced by something called Prader’s Orchidometer in order to improve precision. This involved the medical examiner standing in front of the subject and palpating one of subject’s testicles in his hand. In his other hand, the medical examiner would hold Prader’s Orchidometer. This is a string on which are 12 testicle-shaped beads.

The following dissertation closely detailing the prescribed procedure for proper deployment of this Prader’s Orchidothingamabobber falls squarely into that last category in my post title, I think. Weirder still:

It makes sense if we understand that the pre-history of Sub-Saharan Africans is better comparable to the situation with gorillas, who have small testicles, while the pre-history of Whites is better comparable to that of chimpanzees, who have large testicles.

Hoooo BOY. NOW we’re getting somewhere. Hold onto your hats though, gang, because we’re about to leave “weird” behind altogether, stepping off smartly into “bizarre” territory.

Testicles are semen factories, so testicles would necessarily get bigger. This is the situation of chimpanzees. They live together in highly social groups, meaning that there is every opportunity for a female to have sex with multiple males. So, they have larger testicles than gorillas; with gorillas not needing larger testicles because they are unlikely to ever be cuckolded.

This applies to White-Black differences. Evolved to a relatively easy yet unstable ecology, blacks, compared to Whites, don’t need to cooperate as much. They, thus, create smaller and weaker social groups with less of an opportunity for cuckoldry. Moreover, they invest less in their offspring anyway, so it matters less if they are cuckolded.

Whites create large and highly bonded social groups, investing a great deal of energy in their offspring that they have with a smaller number of females, with whom they have less sex, so that they have energy to invest in the offspring. It thus matters a great deal if they are cuckolded and there are more opportunities for this to occur. As such, they need to produce more semen, resulting in larger testicles.

Okay, that’s it. Much as I do hate to interrupt y’all’s fun and all— hey, don’t think for a minute I can’t hear you perverts laughing yourselves sick out there, damn your eyes—I’m afraid I’m gonna have to declare TMI here and call a lid, Crazy Uncle Gropey-style, at this late stage of the game.

2
1

I bring you glad tidings of great joy!

Rather, Aesop does.

Breaking: Biden/Harris Resign Ahead of Impeachment
(WASHINGTON DC) After news broke early this morning of confirmed widespread election fraud in Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, with further states announcing widening probes, the House of Representatives was set to debate articles of impeachment this afternoon, when news came from the White House that the current regime would step down, rather than force a constitutional crisis, and formally conceded losing the 2020 election.

Donald Trump was sworn in at his residence at Mar-A-Lago early this morning, and is returning to Washington D.C. later today to take up his interrupted presidency where he left off. Trading on Wall Street has been suspended in advance until next Monday, and gasoline futures have plummeted to $3/gallon on the news, with further drops likely.

On hearing of the change in U.S. leadership, Vladimir Putin has announced the immediate and unconditional withdrawal of all Russian forces from Ukraine, which was confirmed by unnamed Pentagon military sources.

Ambulances have reportedly been taking staff members from all major networks, the WaPo, and the NYTimes to hospitals in Washington D.C. and New York City, where ERs are reportedly flooded with a surge of patients with chest pain and possible strokes.

Early word from Capitol Hill is that with the dissolution of impeachment hearings, the Senate is poised to take up the nomination of FL gov. Ron DeSantis as the new nominee to serve as Vice President, after former VP Pence announced he would not be joining the new administration, by mutual consent.

Ordinarily, with any news item we’d have to take at least a little bitter with the sweet. But not this time; this, my friends, is nothing but pure, unleavened SCHWEEEEET!

Go on over and enjoy the rest of it, by all means. But don’t forgot to click the link he included, but I didn’t, when you’re all done. As comedowns go, it’s a brutal one.

Update! Thanks to liberal killjoys’ standard practice of sucking all the fun out of life via “fact-checking” satire and humor articles, PJM writer and professional funnyman Kevin Downey Jr says he’s not allowed to run any April Fools stuff this year.

If you think lefty fact-checkers are GLUTEN-free, you should test them for humor.

I was up until 2:00 a.m. writing April Fools’ Day story headlines and articles only to learn PJ Media would not be posting funny stories today because angry, self-loathing, “progressive” fact-checkers aren’t familiar with humor, and we at PJ Media are too busy to explain the meaning of sarcasm to them every time we post an article.

That means we won’t be posting OBVIOUS joke stories like this:

Nancy Pelosi Injured When Rare Springtime Florida Frost Forces Lizard People To Fall From Trees
Nancy Pelosi was visiting her new home in Florida and apparently didn’t check the weather report. She was sleeping comfortably in a nearby tree when temperatures dropped to unseasonably low levels, forcing lizards of all sorts to freeze up and fall to the ground.

“I swear, Rick DeSantis purposely did this to me and my people,” an angry Pelosi stated from a local hospital, which, thanks to DeSantis, was not full of COVID patients.

Though Pelosi did suffer a concussion, her transgender physician, Dr. Mangina, said it could have been much worse.

“The aging birther Speaker is lucky she fell into a large pile of empty wine boxes, which serendipitously fell RIGHT under where she was sleeping.”

You also won’t see these tantalizing headlines:

Drunk Hillary Clinton Ejected From Jamba Juice For Demanding Baby-Blood Smoothie

Transgender Woman Loses ‘Her Penis’ in Bizarre Tampon Accident, Rejoices: Two Hours Later Wants It Back

Emoluments Clause Anyone? Joe Biden Pens Deal With Chinese Depends Adult Diapers

Biden and Kamala Impeached and Convicted, House Declares Trump President!

Oh wait, I’ll hold on to that headline for a while…

Sorry folks, don’t blame us. We are more than happy to do these all day. As usual, liberals ruin everything.

It’s who they are, it’s what they do. Time once more for me to trot out my depiction of the patron saint of all liberal/Leftism.

ChurchLady.jpg

They’ll deny it, but that’s only because, deep down, they know it’s the truth.

All over the place

This one is so great I just…just…I just can’t even.


The question confronts us: what does one even say to something like this? And the answer comes back: I have no fucking idea.

Via Bayou Peter), who seems to be about as gobsmacked by this as I am.

2
1

A becoming modesty

It ain’t bragging if you can DO it.

Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole. These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts. Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike, and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging—and I don’t like people who brag!

Oh, of course not, Mr President, sir. Perish the thought. Your well-known modesty is in fact what so many of us admire most about you.

AHEM.

1

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