A gem of invective

As Wanda Jackson sang: he’s a mean mean man.

I don’t think most people realize how many random jerkoffs show up to scream at me anytime I post anything. Which is why I get all these other well-intentioned types going “tsk tsk, Larry Correia is SO RUDE on the internet. He should be nicer.”

Of course, if these people who chide me about my rudeness had to put up with my social media feed for 24 hours, they’d either be curled up the fetal position on their shower floor, weeping. Or they would lose their shit and go on a tri-state killing spree.

I don’t think some of you realize what it is like to be a little bit famous with the wrong politics, but here, let me try to help. Let’s say that you put up a post about anything from current events which is even sort of controversial.

When I do that, people start to share it to their pages, where various strangers see it, and are inevitably compelled to come back to my page to tell me how I’m a horrible person who should die. Then the morons come flooding in. An endless stream of idiots, barking, hooting, screaming, throwing their feces, and dragging their diseased anuses on my carpet. And all of them feel compelled to share their bullshit hot takes with me, a total stranger, in the mistaken belief that they’re going to browbeat me or shame me into silence.

Good luck with that!

I’m pretty sure there is a mathematical formula to this. Y number of shares, R is the rate of controversy, find for X, which is the number of vapid morons blundering onto my page.

Three days ago I put up that post refuting the meme about the RNC speakers. By the time it got shared a thousand times, off the top of my head I think that thread got me an insane healing power of crystals hippie, five morons calling me names who were so incoherent that I couldn’t actually tell what they were upset by, a couple Common Internet Shit Gibbons, a Socialist Lemming, some pseudo-intellectual gotcha attempts from people who aren’t smart enough to pick up dog turds in the park for a living, and one incredibly boring dope who babbled about his asinine philosophy on EVERYTHING for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT. By the end I was reading all his posts in the voice of Colin Robinson.

That was ONE POST. But not a single death threat, or anyone wishing for me to get cancer… So that was actually kind of nice. I had one last month, with 8,000 comments, where I ended up blocking over 100 people in 24 hours. That was nuts. Apparently, where all these people come from, blundering into a stranger’s living room and screaming in his face is a “conversation”. And if you don’t put up with their endless abuse, you’re obviously a bad person.

Awesome. I’ll be the bad guy.

And THEN he takes the gloves off.

More Depends, STAT!

Should she have to drop out of the race for any reason, I have a suggestion for who Kamala Harris’s replacement might be.



What with Biden pissing himself and now Nadler shitting himself, the Democrat-Incontinent Party appears to have its hands pants full. Reminds me of this deathless act of revenge:



If you’ve never seen it before, trust me: stick with it. Great scene, great movie.

Laff riot!

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!



In case you can’t see the vid—which you will deeply regret missing, believe me—the deranged shitlib was actually hanging to the hips out of the driver-side window, turned sideways and flipping off the Trump rally-goers with both hands, screaming profane epithets at them.

Then she rearended the car ahead of her.

Then the cops walked up, hopefully to cite her stupid ass for reckless driving, negligence, reckless endangerment, and any and every other charge they could come up with.

Dumb fucking bitch.

Proud Boys just out and out fucking with their heads now

Living rent-free in empty Pantifa skulls.

The Proud Boys advertised a fake rally in West Philadelphia’s Clark Park on Saturday, causing Antifa to flood the streets.

When the Proud Boys did not show up, they attacked conservative independent media instead.

As the Gateway Pundit reported earlier in the day, the militant leftists attacked two conservatives who were filming the protest. They also attacked a vehicle they believed to belong to the conservatives, but actually belonged to someone who was there in support of their cause. There was a frightened dog inside while they smashed the windows out with hammers.

Speaking to the Gateway Pundit about the fake rally, Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio said that “SOMETIMES…all it takes for evil to fail is for good men to do nothing.”

“The Philly ProudBoys decided this was the best approach today. They wanted to show the world exactly what unchecked domestic terrorism does to a city. It’s incredibly sad that in 2020 America all someone has to do to be threatened with violence is say they’re going to a park to practice their first amendment rights. Besides attacking journalist that were on the scene they attacked themselves. They beat and broke windows on what seemed to be a vehicle owned by an Antifa militant. So I’m extremely Proud of my boys today. Some of these boys had a hangover and watched Antifa on Antifa violence from the comfort of their living rooms,” Tarrio said.

I say again: I just love these guys so much. I really, really do.

The Proud Boys have also launched a new website opposing Antifa, where you can keep track of their upcoming rallies.

“The threat from Domestic terror groups like Antifa and BLM are on the rise. That is why we started EndAntifa.com. The ProudBoys will return to Portland on the 26th of this month despite the death threats and calls for violence,” Tarrio said. “We intend to have a peaceful event and shine even more light on these acts of terror. The reason why Philly is so violent is because they have taken a page from the Portland playbook. It’s time for the mayhem to end…The American people have had enough.”

Duly bookmarked and blogrolled, Mr Tarrio sir. Bless every one of y’all’s valiant hearts, most sincerely, from me to you. Long may the Proud Boy standard wave.

No easy answer

Californy’s political “leadership” ponders the imponderable.

SACRAMENTO, CA—California is currently on fire, having also been plagued by darkness, earthquakes, and hippies. State leaders are claiming they have “no idea” why God keeps lighting them on fire, though they just voted to reduce penalties for pedophiles in the name of equality for the LGBTQ+ community.

“It’s unclear here what exactly we’re being punished for,” said Governor Gavin Newsom at a press conference as the state burned down around him. “We are a progressive utopia. We’re the other states in fast-forward. We pass amazing legislation that shows our love and inclusiveness of pedophiles of all sexual orientations. We are doing exactly what Socialist Jesus would want us to.”

Hm. I believe I see your mistake here, fellas. I boldfaced it to help y’all out. No need to thank me; in fact, I’d kinda rather you didn’t, and just carried on. As you were.

Mask ON

Sure, what the hell, why not.

SACRAMENTO, CA—Fresh off his fireside chat to the state of California last week, Governor Gavin Newsom is announcing swift action to combat the spread of wild global-warming fires in his state. According to sources, Newsom will be signing an executive order requiring all trees to wear masks so that they don’t catch fire.

“My proposal is proven and grounded in SCIENCE,” said the governor in a statement. “Everyone knows masks work. They stop things from spreading. They stop COVID from spreading. Of course, they would also stop fires from spreading! SCIENCE tells us that masks solve almost every problem that has ever existed. This isn’t that difficult. These are facts. It’s just SCIENCE!”

Starting this week, Police, Firefighters, and Forest Management Personnel will be tasked with applying a giant mask to every single tree in the state. The governor is also considering requiring all sea turtles in California to also wear masks to prevent straws from getting stuck in their noses.

Makes as much sense as anything else does these days.

Street protest

Street justice, more like. As SteveF quips, the title says it all.

Peak 2020: Man Takes Dump on Pelosi’s Driveway in San Francisco – Live-Streams It

Man, I’m loving this story already. There’s video, which you may be forgiven for not being terribly interested in viewing. Steve continues:

Normally I disapprove of open defecation on hygiene grounds but I’ll make an exception for every politician in and of San Francisco. (And Portland, Seattle, Minneapolis, New York City, and Atlanta, on the chance that someone reading this is near one of these cities, knows where a politician lives, and is willing to take leave one for the team.)

Add Chicago to that list, buddy. Just for starters.

Checking out, the hard way

Haven’t posted a Bee of late. But after possibly busting a couple of ribs laughing at this one, I gotta fix that.

UhaulWarRig.jpg


U-Haul Introduces Armored War Rigs For Californians Trying To Flee State’s Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland
CALIFORNIA—To help meet the demand of millions of people desperately trying to escape the dark, ravaged wasteland of California, U-Haul is introducing a new product in its moving van line-up: the War Rig. These weaponized, armored moving vehicles will ensure you and your belongings stay safe during the long and perilous journey out of the state.

“We knew it was time to introduce some more serious vehicles to our fleet,” said local U-Haul franchise owner Glax Destroyer, who manages 12 locations in Southern California. “We brought in the War Rig to supplement our completely depleted fleet of moving vans. With everyone leaving in droves, we don’t have much left. We’re pretty much salvaging old trucks from the junkyard and then adding armor plating and mounted weapons.”

Sources confirm that each War Rig will comfortably seat a traditionally-sized California family of one person. They boast a fuel economy of 6 miles per gallon of guzzoline, which the U-Haul location will provide.

“I live! I die! I live again!” cried one patriarch as he led his family through the desert and toward Arizona in one of the new U-Haul War Rigs. “Witness me!”

Mr. Destroyer encourages customers to come early to secure their rigs before his power goes out and everything bursts into flames. 

Kinda hate to just cop the whole danged thing entire like that, but without the image it just seemed…incomplete, somehow. After that, it was in for a penny, in for a pound, pretty much.

STRONG message follows

Scott Adams waxes uncharacteristically, ummm, vitriolic, shall we say.

Scott Adams: Brain-Dead Race Hoaxer Joe Biden Is The Biggest Asshole In America

There, see what I mean? Not that he’s wrong about any of that, mind.

Scott Adams, the creator of ‘Dilbert’ and a student of persuasion, explains why he thinks that Joe Biden citing the 2017 “fine people” in Charlottesville “race hoax” during his DNC acceptance speech disqualifies him from being the president, on his Friday morning “Coffee With Scott Adams” podcast.

Adams said “the fact that he based his campaign on being the guy of good character and the one who cares, while at the same time and in the same speech perpetuated the most divisive race hoax in American history — the fine people hoax,” is disqualifying for Biden.

“He’s basing his campaign on a debunked hoax,” he said. “What do people who believe the hoax say? ‘Oh, you right-wing crazy people are trying to tell us we didn’t hear it with our own ears. I saw it and I heard it and I can prove it. Here’s the video of what I saw and what I heard.’ And then, they’ll show the edited video — which is the hoax.”

“The f***ing ‘fine people’ hoax is the tentpole hoax that makes stupid people who believe the fake news believe that it is all true. It is the only one they think they saw with their own eyes because it got edited. And because they’re sure that one’s true, it makes all the other hoaxes seem true, and it makes everyone who supports Trump look like assholes,” he said a few minutes later. “Joe Biden, if you’re making your fellow citizens targets for violence and discrimination, and you’re doing it intentionally, you are not worthy of being a citizen of this country, much less a leader. You have not qualified at the basic level of understanding the Constitution.”

As incredible as it may seem, the usually soft-spoken, mild-mannered Adams is just getting warmed up, going on to blast away at Senile Uncle Gropey even more ferociously from there. Rightly so, too.

DNC con-Con, night one

Kruiser hilariously takes the piss out of a hot mess.

Well, the 2020 Democratic National Convention (DNC) kinda/sorta got underway on Monday night and we’re still waiting to hear from the twelve people who aren’t in political media who watched it.

Those who did were in for a real treat if they’ve never had a concussion or done hallucinogenic drugs before and wondered what either is like without having to actually experience them.

A series of individually recorded remote speeches gave it a “Gee, we’re sorry we can’t be there for your 90th birthday, Uncle Joe” vibe. That’s perfectly fine when it’s Uncle Joe’s 90th birthday but it’s not as fun if it’s Uncle Joe’s 90th attempt at becoming president of the United States. And Uncle Joe isn’t even at his own party to watch because he’s in the basement.

One of the more perplexing things was the DNC giving a speaking slot to former Ohio governor and noted mailman’s son John Kasich. Kasich brings slightly less excitement than dryer lint to any gathering he graces but what was most amusing was that during the somnambulant lead-up to the DNC, the Democrats were acting like Kasich was a real big get for them.

The DNC had a few other faux Republicans speaking on Monday. The only thing they had in common is that no Republican under 50 remembers any of them and they’re trying to feel relevant by doing useful idiot turns for the Democrats. They will be winning no hearts, minds, or voters. Other than the “LOOK! Republicans badmouthing Trump!” narrative it’s difficult to figure out what the DNC’s calculus for trotting out these losers was.

The only big surprise is that mewling liberal turncoat Mittens Romneycare (D—Whicheverstatehecangetelectedin) didn’t show up to give a fellatory go-Joe speech too. Could be that’s coming later on in the week, maybe.

Interest-piqueing update! The Demonrat convention is pure shitshow, naturally, but it’s looking like the RNC one will be…interesting.

The St. Louis couple who wielded firearms while Black Lives Matter protesters gathered outside their mansion will make an appearance at the Republican National Convention next week, a report said Monday.

Personal injury attorneys Mark and Patricia McCloskey are expected to express their support for President Trump during the virtual weeklong event, party officials told the Washington Post.

And it gets even better yet.

Covington Catholic high school student Nick Sandmann, who was viciously smeared by the establishment media and has won settlements from the Washington Post and CNN, will speak at the Republican National Convention (RNC), Trump campaign and RNC officials confirmed to Breitbart News exclusively.

In addition to Sandmann, campaign and Convention officials confirmed to Breitbart News what the Washington Post reported previously, that the St. Louis couple Mark and Patricia McCloskey will speak at the RNC next week. In addition, Andrew Pollack—whose daughter Meadow was killed in the Parkland shooting at Stoneham Douglas High School in February 2018—will speak at the Convention, a Trump campaign official confirmed to Breitbart News. Abby Johnson, a former clinic director at Planned Parenthood who is now a leading pro-life activist, will also speak at the Convention, as will South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem and GOP candidate for U.S. House and veteran Sean Parnell.

Sources familiar with the plans told Breitbart News that each of these cases—in particular, those of Sandmann, the McCloskeys, Pollack, and Johnson—illustrate the potentially disastrous consequences of Democrat governance.

As if getting to enjoy Trump slow-roasting Uncle Gropey over a roaring rhetorical fire wasn’t going to be entertaining enough.

More like this, please

Your feel-good video of the week is a real delight, folks.

[Watch] Mask-Shaming Woman Throws Hot Coffee in Face of Unmasked Man Trying to Eat a Burrito, Instantly Regrets It

Yes, by all means, heed the title’s directive and WATCH. I promise you’ll feel a warm frisson of pure pleasure. Although I do have one small nit to pick, which I’ll get to anon.




The backstory:

MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. – A bloody brawl broke out in Manhattan Beach after a couple confronted two men for not wearing masks, causing an argument that turned violent when the woman threw coffee into the face of one of the men.

The brawl was all caught on video, recorded by James Hernandez’s bodycam, which he says he has to wear as a Trump supporter.

“Because I wear a trump hat I’ve had a lot of confrontations, I guess,” he said.

His camera was rolling on Friday when he says he and his friend, Matthew Roy, were eating burritos outside without masks on, and a couple criticized them.

“Y’all need to be wearing masks,” the woman can be heard saying.

“No we don’t,” Hernandez replies. “We’re locals here but were on the other side of the fence, we don’t believe in this stuff.”

“I hadn’t even gotten to start eating the burrito yet before someone wanted to give me a mask lecture,” Roy said.

Roy says the woman then stuck her middle finger in his face, and tensions escalated further until she threw her coffee in his face.
Roy immediately gets up, and begins punching the woman’s boyfriend in response.

“She decided to slam her coffee into my head and that’s when I decided to get up and beat up her boyfriend,” Roy said.

Which he did, slinging Karen’s stupid-cunt ass around a little as well, just for good measure. Which is where my quibble comes in. The problem: He stopped with the righteous ass-whuppin’ way, WAY too soon.

I am deadly, deadly serious about this right here: There should be many, many repeats of this action, all over the country. BUT…these beatings should NEVER end prematurely. They should, they must continue until the sniveling COVIDIOTS are bleeding profusely on the ground, a bedraggled mess of torn flesh, broken bones, and loosened teeth, completely incapable of struggling to their feet and staggering away under their own power. Otherwise, the salutary purpose of ramming a most useful lesson right down the throats of these meddlesome, self-righteous busybodies will fail to really stick.

And we can’t be having that, now can we? Ah well, enjoy the vid anyway; as they say, the journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. And while we’re embedding videos here, I dunno, but somehow the star-belly sneeches getting their just comeuppance above reminded me all to hell and gone of the lyrics to this old classic.




It’s time for Kens and Karens everywhere to taste what they most fear, all right. Their recent string of unanswered victories has gotten thoroughly up their noses, as Wodehouse used to say; they’re emboldened now, and won’t ever stop until they get themselves a good bellyful of said fear.

The feel-good video of the year

“DO! YOU! UNDER! STAND! ME!!” Bet he does now, the weedy little punk-ass bitch.



The rib-rocking thud as the undernourished twerp’s back makes contact with the sidewalk—HARD—is one of the most gratifying sounds I think I’ve ever heard. Somehow, I picture the black guy wearing a black Marine BDU cap pulled low and tight over his eyes, and answering exclusively to either “Gunny,” “Senior Chief,” or most likely “YESSIRMRDRILLINSTRUCTORSIR!!!”

Whichever it is, if the PantiFa Nazis had experienced a lot more of what the Gunny was dishing out back when they were growing up and it would’ve done ’em some good, America would look one hell of a lot different right now.

Punch like a girl

Must drive ’em even more nuts than they already are, I bet. After all, he’s a white guywho beat up two black guys and a Russian.

PHILADELPHIA, PA—First, the rioters came for Andrew Jackson. Then, they came for Ulysses S. Grant. Then, they came for the Fonz for some reason. But finally, they came for the ultimate racist statue: the famous monument to Rocky Balboa in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. It’s not clear why they thought it was racist, but the guy in the statue seemed to be happy, so he was probably a conservative of some kind whenever he existed, they reasoned.

But the statue survives to fight another day, as it went a full 15 rounds against rioters and was still standing after the bout.

The weak, sissy rioters charged the statue and started punching it, hurting their little man-baby hands and running away to cry to their parents, whom they probably still live with. A second wave came in, but Rocky stood strong. Things got a little dicey in the seventh round, when one rioter threw a rope around the statue and suggested everyone start rocking it back and forth, but then their soft, buttery smooth hands got chafed by the rope and they had to call it quits to nurse their wounds with coconut oil.

“Balboa was a real champion out there,” said one witness. “It was incredible.”

Finally, after 15 waves of angry rioters charged the statue, the dust settled, and Balboa won again, having gone for a full 15 rounds without breaking a sweat. Balboa was declared the winner in a unanimous decision as the judges were appalled at the rioters’ lack of form, indicating they had never punched anything before, except maybe customers’ buy-six-get-one-free cards at Jamba Juice.

Then they all went back home to Mom’s basement for a good, long cry.

FOLLOW THE SCIENCE!!!

Whatever you do, DON’T PANIC. Unless they tell you to.

A new pandemic is raging.  Even before the Covid 19 pandemic has subsided, the WHO has now warned that a virulent form of Hoof and Mouth disease has “jumped” species in record time from horse to humans and is threatening to devastate the planet. It is even more deadly than the original.  An appropriate name for the pathogen is being considered, as we speak. A tricky task, this, as it is imperative to avoid giving offense and fostering lasting grievance on the part of those who would level the charge of speciesism.  After all, equine phobia is a thing. We must avoid maligning horses and their hoofs at all cost. Needless to say, the same consideration must apply to their owners, as well as their countries of domicile and origin.

Let us discuss the symptoms: Because we are confronted with a new disease, the syndrome and its various manifestations are still regarded as capable of impressive plasticity—that is, they are changing and changeable. The disease can rampage through every organ, bone, nerve, blood vessel and system in your body. The result is manifold noxious, painful, and deadly symptoms that appear to be unrelated to each other. Furthermore, these symptoms are similar to every disease, ailment, malady discomfort and inconvenience that you, or anyone else in the world, has ever experienced. Thus, it is easily confused with other morbidities. But, make no mistake about it, the underlying cause can only be one thing when testing indicates that the pathogen is present.

Curiously enough, the pathogen has an affinity for the right foot of its human host. At this early stage of the pandemic, we can already state, with confidence, that the microbe can be detected by the application of a simple laboratory test to the right foot. A swab administered between the big toe and second toe with a sterile Q-Tip is capable of rendering a true positive, false positive, true negative or false negative result, based on the suppleness of the skin.  In short, the test is just as efficacious as the current Covid 19 test. A small fragment of DNA of the patient’s skin is sufficient for one of the above four possible diagnoses.

However, acute observational skills are also imperative!  Let us describe what we definitively know: In addition to the laboratory test, the disease can also be diagnosed visually, if the carrier’s big right toe angulates away from the foot, upward by one fourth of an inch, in either or both directions.

Because an emergency has been declared, a vaccine is being rushed to market and will be ready between six months and two years from now.  It will be administered alongside the greatly anticipated vaccine for Covid 19. By necessity, we have dispensed with the usual safety controls required for other drugs. Fortunately, therapeutics, such as hydroxychloroquine, widely in use for over 70 years for other diseases, and proven safe for them, is frowned upon by pharmacists. They are withholding the drug from the patients whose doctors prescribe them for Covid 19. Obviously, the pharmacist’s judgment should and does pre-empt the advice of the patient’s doctor!  The pharmacist studied drugs in school.  That is why he or she is called a pharmacist. What does a doctor know?

Now that we know what we are dealing with, what do we do to prevent the spread?  We cannot simply wait for the vaccine. Patience is not an option. There is no time for that. We must act now!

Fortunately, our experience with Covid 19 has paved the way for imposing the additional discipline required for battle against the soon to be renamed disease originating from the beloved horse. First of all, we have become accustomed to sheltering in place. We now have learned to distinguish between essential and non-essential businesses.  We wear a mask and we maintain social distance. Furthermore, we are intensely motivated to continue to observe the above admonitions, rules, and guidelines, thanks to our recent and current riots.

The riots have taught us that the nonessential businesses are the ones that the rioters have looted, ransacked, and burned.  We know that they are nonessential because we are still alive even though those businesses are gone. If they had been essential, I would not be writing this essay and you would not be reading it. 

This would seem to be satire worthy of the Bee itself…OR IS IT?!? No matter what, we must all proceed with extreme caution to eliminate all risk until we’re absolutely certain one way or the other. Therefore, I am pleased to join the author in her urgent call for a new national and/or state and/or local and/or neighborhood decree requiring every American to…

No, I can’t do it; you gotta go read the whole thing to find out.

National chaos worsens

I repeat: hey, sure, why the hell not.

Fort Rucker in flames after Black Hawk Lives Matter protest
What began as a peaceful demonstration by Black Hawk pilots frustrated after years of being marginalized by Chinook pilots turned suddenly violent.

As crowds of aviators were shouting, “Justice for Igor Sikorsky!” a few broke away and began vandalizing CH-47s spray painting “Black Hawk Lives Matter!” on their fuselages. “That’s when it all hit the fan,” said an anonymous warrant officer who was used to remaining anonymous. Suddenly offended by the presence of fixed-wing aircraft and any design that deviated from the main rotor/tail rotor configuration, the swelling mob descended on Fort Rucker’s aviation museum toppling and burning anything with a propeller or more than one main rotor.

In an effort to deescalate the situation, the base commander, Lieutenant General Durkan, ordered military police to evacuate the museum until things cooled down. Almost immediately barricades were erected by angry Black Hawk pilots who began spray painting “AMPAB” and “F*** 31B” on the museum walls and displays that were still standing. Declaring the museum an independent country, the pilots called it the “Black Hawk Autonomous Landing Zone” and posted signs reading, “NO MP LZ.” The name was then changed to the “Black Hawk Organized Protest” or BHOP for short. In an effort to show solidarity and understanding, Captain Carpenter who is an Apache pilot, joined the crowd but was shortly beaten into a coma.

Meanwhile, Brigadier General Cathy, a career CH-47 pilot, offered to shine the boots of a Black Hawk pilot and urged other CH-47 pilots to follow his example. His efforts were hampered when he realized that nobody in the army any longer wears boots that can be polished. Nevertheless, General Cathy maintained that his offer was sincere.

“This isn’t ending,” said Lieutenant King, “until everything that flies looks like a Black Hawk and every former Chinook driver buys us a beer whenever we walk into the officers’ club.”

Makes as much sense as anything else does these days.

What the hell, why not?

Sure, he’s kind of a nut. But he’s an all-American nut just the same.

Grammy-winner rapper and fashion mogul Kanye West took to Twitter on Independence Day to announce that he is “running for president of the United States.”

“We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am running for president of the United States!” tweeted West on Saturday. While the rapper did (not) elaborate on when he would try to run for president, he did include the hashtag #2020VISION in his tweet.

West has teased his intention to run for U.S. President for years.

In 2019, the rapper stated, “there will be a time when I will be the president of the US, and I will remember… any founder that didn’t have the capacity to understand culturally what we were doing.” The “Jesus Is King” rapper made headlines in 2018 after delivering an impassioned 10-minute speech from the Oval Office as he sat across from President Trump.

“Let’s stop worrying about the future. All we really have is today,” he said, before adding: “Trump is on his hero’s journey right now, and he might not have expected to have a crazy motherfucker like Kanye West.”

Before you dismiss this as just another slice of cray-cray and/or self-aggrandizing silliness, remember that he and Trump get along famously. Consider that for a minute, then note Glenn’s suggestion that there might indeed be a method to the apparent madness here: “HE’LL STRIP BLACK VOTES FROM BIDEN IF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS, AND HE KNOWS THAT.

I like it. I like it a lot.

Vicious cycle indeed

As the title says:

An Unexpected Cultural Clue About America Today, from…Elvis
Elvis Presley’s 1969 hit, “In the Ghetto” provides a prescient glimpse of what would later happen to generations of young black men who lived out their short lives on the mean streets of America’s urban ghettos.

As his first big hit in more than eight years, “In the Ghetto” played a key role in resurrecting his singing career, which floundered in the 1960s when he transitioned away from live performances to pursue an acting career in Hollywood.

Written by singer/songwriter Mac Davis, the song was originally titled “The Vicious Cycle,” an apt description of the endless trail of tragedies that would befall millions of young men fated to be born in the ghettos of America’s biggest cities. 

Now, the article itself is good, and you should definitely take a gander at it. Needless to say, the song is a bona fide classic—a powerful, unforgettable piece that Elvis did a most moving rendition of, rightly vaulting the once and forever King back to the pinnacle of artistic and commercial success after his long 60s drought.

But it immediately put me in mind of the parody version Paul Shanklin did for Rush Limbaugh years ago, too. So I did a quick Duck Duck Go search just for the hell of it, and looky what I found.




HOWLINGLY funny, a real scream. Stick with it all the way through and I’m confident you’ll recognize which part has had me choking with laughter all damned day long. Shanklin’s rip is funny enough all by itself, but whoever put this video together is nothing less than a damned genius.

TRAGEDY!

What little is left of my heart is not quite breaking for them.

With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters
U.S.—With more and more statues across the country being pulled down, pigeons are being forced to redirect their payloads to different targets.

As soon as statues are pulled down, the pigeons turn toward the nearest available target: angry rioters.

“Yes! Down with racism–AHHHHH!!!!” screamed one rioter just after pulling down a statue of Christopher Columbus. The pigeons immediately turned on him, with a squadron of the birds divebombing him to unload hundreds of pounds worth of excrement. “Run!!!”

Rioters frantically tried to put the statues back up as they were attacked by the feral flocks. “Put Christopher back! Quick!” cried one Antifa group as they were swarmed by a whole fleet of pigeon bombers. But try as they might, their weak liberal arms could not lift the statue and they were forced to flee the scene.

Those unintended consequences remain the bane of liberals everywhere.

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Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site and may be deleted, ridiculed, maliciously edited for purposes of mockery, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. The CF comments section is pretty free-form and rough and tumble; tolerance level for rowdiness and misbehavior is fairly high here, but is NOT without limit. Management is under no obligation whatever to allow the comments section to be taken over and ruined by trolls, Leftists, and/or other oxygen thieves, and will take any measures deemed necessary to prevent such. Conduct yourself with the merest modicum of decorum, courtesy, and respect and you'll be fine. Pick pointless squabbles with other commenters, fling provocative personal insults, issue threats, or annoy the host (me) and...you won't. Should you find yourself sanctioned after running afoul of the CF comments policy as stated and feel you have been wronged, please download and complete the Butthurt Report form below in quadruplicate; retain one copy for your personal records and send the others to the email address posted in the right sidebar. Please refrain from whining, sniveling, and/or bursting into tears and waving your chubby fists around in frustrated rage, lest you suffer an aneurysm or stroke unnecessarily. Your completed form will be reviewed and your complaint addressed whenever management feels like getting around to it. Thank you.

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Notable Quotes

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

"There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters." — Daniel Webster

"It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged." - GK Chesterton

"The only way to live free is to live unobserved." - Etienne de la Boiete

"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid." — Dwight D. Eisenhower

"To put it simply, the Left is the stupid and the insane, led by the evil. You can’t persuade the stupid or the insane and you had damn well better fight the evil." - Skeptic

"There is no better way to stamp your power on people than through the dead hand of bureaucracy. You cannot reason with paperwork." - David Black, from Turn Left For Gibraltar

"The limits of tyranny are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." - Frederick Douglass

"Give me the media and I will make of any nation a herd of swine." - Joseph Goebbels

“I hope we once again have reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: As government expands, liberty contracts.” - Ronald Reagan

"Ain't no misunderstanding this war. They want to rule us and aim to do it. We aim not to allow it. All there is to it." - NC Reed, from Parno's Peril

"I just want a government that fits in the box it originally came in." - Bill Whittle

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