The shakiest guns in the, umm, East
Q: Are cops in FLA the worst in the known universe?
A: Apparently, yes. Yes, they are.
Cop resigns after mistaking falling acorn for gunshot, firing at unarmed suspect cuffed in patrol car
A Florida cop resigned after opening fire on an unarmed black man who was handcuffed in his patrol car — because he confused the sound of an acorn hitting the vehicle with a muffled gunshot.Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Deputy Jesse Hernandez handed in his badge in December following the Nov. 12 Fort Walton Beach incident, officials said Friday.
Sgt. Beth Roberts, who also opened fire, was exonerated in an internal investigation and remained on the job, according to police.
The suspect, Marquis Jackson, was luckily uninjured, but the “situation was traumatic” for him, police acknowledged.
The video of the incident is…well, quite frankly, it’s pathetic.
New bodycam footage shows Okaloosa County, FL Deputy Jesse Hernandez declaring “shots fired!” and “I’m hit!” and shooting at the handcuffed, unarmed suspect inside of his police car.
He had not been shot, rather, it was determined that he heard an acorn drop onto the car. pic.twitter.com/D71fddl5V7
— Ford Fischer (@FordFischer)
If you look closely, you can see the falling acorn highlighted against one of the light-grey rowhouses in the background, just before it hits the roof and scares Officer Pissypants out of his meager wits. Next up, vid of the other trigger-happy Deppity Dawg blasting away in “support” of her panicky fellow Offissa Pupp and likewise hitting nothing much.
Sgt Beth Roberts responded quickly to Deputy Hernandez erroneously calling "shots fired" in response to an acorn dropping from a tree.
"Where? Right there?" Roberts asked before also firing at the handcuffed, unarmed man in their car.
Luckily, both cops missed every shot. pic.twitter.com/S0WyadTakX
— Ford Fischer (@FordFischer) February 13, 2024
Uh huh, luckily. A pair of regular Deadeye Dicks, these two. And just never anybody mind that these shooty-shooty knuckleheads popped off thirty rounds most ricky-tick (depending on issue mag capacity, natch; it coulda been sixty)—smack dab in the middle of a residential neighborhood, mind—at a handcuffed “shooter” who, presumably, had been patted down by Sooperdoopercop before he was ever put into the patrol car, thus already verified to be unarmed.
Presumably.
So guess what the PD review board “investigation” concluded regarding this disgraceful fiasco? Go on, guess. I dares ya.
Investigators concluded that Hernandez was culpable for a “policy violation regarding excessive use of control to resistance,” but that Roberts’ “use of deadly force was objectively reasonable.”
No criminal charges were filed against either officer.
Yeah, I thought not. But…“control to resistance”? SRSLY?!? There WAS NO resistance, of any kind. How the hell could there have been? The “shooter” was securely cuffed and locked in the squad car’s perp seat, behind the standard doors without handles, therefore posed no conceivable threat to anybody, badged/heeled or no.
Meanwhile, according to another Tweet I saw, Marquis Jackson (who will doubtless be known as “Lucky” to the other hoodrats forevermore), was cleared of his vengeful ex-ho’s firearms-possession accusations against him.
So at the end of the day it’s a happy ending, I suppose: Hernandez is off the force and out of a job he was manifestly unsuited for, and Jackson is none the worse for wear. Well, apart from the heart-attack-inducing levels of stress brought on by being the helpless, immobilized schnook used for target practice during a hot-range double mag-dump by two (2) cops, neither of whom had any business ever being handed a badge and a gun in the first place, that is.
For 2A folks as well, there’s a cherry on top of this shit sundae: we can take some small comfort that if it’s timorous, overwrought, weak-sister incompetents such as Hernandez and Roberts who’ll be tasked with tippy-toeing door to door to confiscate the guns, then we probably don’t have a whole hell of a lot to worry about. They simply ain’t gonna be up to it, and if any hot-lead-exchange should break out, the Keystone Kops demonstrably couldn’t hit the broad side of a bull’s ass with a baseball bat if you gave ‘em three tries at it. The most serious hazard to firearms enthusiasts in such an eventuality will be parting a floating rib from its moorings, from laughing so damned hard at them.
I dunno, though; kinda makes me wonder if there might not be something to all that angst, dread, and fear the boogs have for years claimed to suffer from merely being in the general vicinity of uniformed 5-0 after all, though I’ve always dismissed that shit out of hand until now. Either way, somewhere out there the infamous “Broward Coward” must be breathing a deep sigh of relief at seeing this mind-bending clusterfuck, secure in the knowledge that he’s at last been outdone by the Excessively Dynamic Duo© and their assclownish antics.
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