Positivity

Again: t’is an ill wind indeed etc etc.

With March Madness canceled, food industry is overloaded with chicken wings
EVANSVILLE, Ind., April 2 (UPI) — With March Madness canceled and restaurants across the country closed, the meat industry is overloaded with chicken wings it can’t sell.

“The wing business is totally in the gutter,” said Stan Neva, the owner of the Northwest Meat Co. in Chicago, which supplies meat to restaurants, hotels and clubs.

“The only way we’re selling wings is for curbside to-go. We have one pizza place in town that does carry-out and ordered some wings. But that’s been it. We probably lost 30 or 40 sports bars,” Neva said.

Ah well, even some silver linings have clouds of their own, and I’m sorry for those entrepreneurs and their staff that have had their businesses and livelihoods stolen from them. Although I can’t honestly say the loss of any number of sports bars perturbs me overmuch. I never was a sports-bar kind of guy.

Whitman said that it’s possible prices will fall low enough for wings to start selling again. The price for wings has fallen considerably. On March 1, they were selling for $1.60 per pound wholesale. On Wednesday afternoon, the price was $1.25, he said.

Usually, when the price falls enough, someone will buy them, Whitman said.

*shoots arm straight up into the air, waves hand wildly, clears throat loudly, jumps up and down* That would be ME, fellas.

In case you never have made ’em at home, there’s a very easy way to get near-perfect Buffalo wings every time: Put your frozen bulk-bagged wings in a glass baking dish—a big enough one that they’re not all piled up on each other. Scatter some butter around on ’em, and bake at 400℉ until the skin is brown and crispy. Keep an eye on ’em; despite being frozen, they don’t take as long as you might think to cook through.

Toss the wings in a generous bath of Texas Pete Buffalo Wing sauce and some chopped or minced garlic; if you can manage one without splashing sauce all over the kitchen, one of those large stainless-steel mixing bowls will work well for this. Grab the celery and carrots you sliced up while the bird parts were in the oven. The small veggies are what you dip in the bleu cheese. Do NOT dip the wings in the bleu cheese. That is just wrong. Gorge yourself wobbly on God’s Own Finger Food.

A note for you Texas Pete newbs: do NOT believe the Texas Pete website’s spurious falsehoods misrepresenting their wing sauce being “Mild,” verging on “Medium.” Delicious as it is, much as I do love it, it is NOT “mild.” It will in fact rock your world pretty good, although not as agonizingly as some other brands I’ve tried. Your eyes will tear and your nose will run freely. Your face will turn alarming shades of deepest vermilion. The less doughty among you will truly believe that you may have swallowed the Sun by mistake. But you will absolutely love every last morsel nonetheless, I assure you. The excruciating fire in your mouth will not suffice to dissuade you from eating every last one of them. No matter how many you made, you will wish you had just one or two more.

Bonus hint: unless you are some kind of urban-dwelling man-bunned pansy, or have a pacemaker, do NOT bother with their “Extra Mild” wing sauce. It’s the only thing the geniuses at Garner Foods ever got wrong. Trust me on this.

At last, some GOOD news

A silver lining finally appears.

Due to the coronavirus and a healthy dose of karma, newspaper advertising is drying up, and these same newspapers are now laying staffers off and slashing salaries while the far-left New York Times’ media columnist screams for a bailout.

Before I get to the karma part, here are the details…

On Monday, we learned the Tampa Bay Times is suspending its print publication from seven to two days a week. That’s not a typo. A newspaper that had been printing every day of the week will now print only on Wednesday and Sunday.

This, however, is not due to a lack of clicks.

“The company reported a surge in traffic to its website … and growth in digital subscriptions over the last few weeks” but “the pandemic sent advertising sales into a plunge. In just the last two weeks, [advertising] cancellations have cost us more than $1 million, and there is no sign of quick recovery on the horizon. We must act now.”

More…

Gannett, one of the largest newspaper companies in the country, publisher of, among others, USA Today, the Des Moines Register, and Arizona Republic, announced a sweeping round of furloughs. A memo from Gannett CEO Paul Bascobert asked employees to immediately make a “collective sacrifice … as soon as this week.”

Poynter points out that this is in direct response to “big advertising declines.”

Finally, Chicago’s Daily Herald is slashing newsroom salaries by 15 percent and salaries at its parent company by 20 percent.

And with this news, all released on Monday (the floundering BuzzFeed cut salaries by up to 25 percent last week), the far-left New York Times published a panicked and ludicrous bailout proposal…

Well, boo fucking hoo for them. I can’t quite see how it could be possible, but Ace is enjoying Enemedia’s pain even more than I am.

Check out this CNN whine of a headline:

Hundreds of journalists are being laid off, right when the public needs them the most

We “need” them?

We DO in fact need journalists. We assuredly do NOT need these pusnutted reprobates. In fact, we NEED to rid ourselves of them, one way or another, once and for all.

Last week, a senior “reporter” decided he would “investigate” and call the mother of a Twitter rando whose opinion he doesn’t like.

Do we “need” him? Is he “essential personnel” in a time of crisis?

As far as I’m concerned, you can all fucking starve to death. I hope you all lose your jobs and you all wind up in the gutter.

Disagree. In my opinion, starving is a WAY less painful death than they deserve. I much prefer they be eaten alive by rabid wolverines, myself.

Full coverage of the frabjous day to be made available for all free of charge, natch, in various formats. With pics and video. Let the handful of real journalists handle it.

Pussified snowflakes triggered, piddle themselves in fwight

Too, too funny.

Colorado Congressman Ken Buck wanted to have a little fun and made a 2nd amendment video using a gun he mounts on his wall.

“I have just one message for Joe Biden and Beto O’Rourke, if you want to take everyone’s AR-15s, why don’t you swing by my office in Washington, D.C. and start with this one? Come and take it. #2A,” he said.

Enter Congresswoman Haley Stevens who apparently felt “threatened” and called the Sergeant at arms on the guy.

“Your congressional office is not your private home. It is a public space. This behavior is threatening and unacceptable,” Haley wrote.

“I feel unsafe with this in my place of work. I have been in contact with the Sergeant at Arms to express my concerns,” she added and she was serious.

Beto O’Rourke decided to join in, and responded to Stevens’ post with his own message on Twitter.

“This guy makes the case for both an assault weapons ban and a mandatory buyback program better than I ever could. These are weapons of war that have no place in our communities, in our politics or in our public discourse,” he commented.

The wall ornament has been rendered entirely nonfunctional; the bolt has been removed, and even at that sports a trigger lock too, for some reason. In other words, the thing is as harmless as newborn kittens, unless maybe you snatched it off its hanger and used it as a club or threw it at somebody or something. Dana Loesch offers another damning detail before kicking Blotto’s ass up between his shoulder blades over that “weapons of war” horseshit:

Buck’s inoperable rifle has hung  on his office wall since 2015 without incident — ever since the Capitol Police inspected it and gave him the all clear to hang it.

Oh for crying out loud. These aren’t “weapons of war” anymore than my .38 revolver is a “weapon of war” or a bolt action rifle is a “weapon of war.” Buck and his inoperable, wall-mounted firearm have threatened fewer people than O’Rourke drunk-driving his automobile down the highway, but you don’t see O’Rourke calling for “common sense automobile ownership.” Also — there is no such thing as a “mandatory buyback.” That phrase is BS for “stealing people’s lawfully-owned personal property and paying them off with their own tax dollars,” a.k.a. double thievery.

“Weapon of war”? Hell, Buck’s decorative installation isn’t a weapon at all, in any meaningful sense. It’s a statement is what it is—no more, no less. Admittedly, it should come as no surprise that cringing cunt-farts like Blotto, Stevens, and the rest of their pig-ignorant, cowardly gun-grabber compadres are crapping themselves over its mere presence despite its status as wall art. But it may well be that the idea of anybody freely making “statements” like Buck’s frightens them much, much more.

Rubbing it in

Let’s bust out a brand-new Shampeachment thread to properly enjoy ourselves some sweet, sweet Progressivist tears, shall we?

CNN chief legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin declared President Trump the winner of the impeachment trial after the Senate failed to pass a motion to call for additional witnesses.

Following the crucial vote, Toobin was asked to give the “big picture” of the latest developments of the impeachment trial.

“Trump won,” Toobin replied. “You know, he’s gonna win this trial. He won on the issue of witnesses, he’s gonna get acquitted, and that’s how history will remember what went on here.”

No confirmation on whether Toobin was actually, overtly weeping on-camera during the exchange. But Fake Jake Tapper pretty much was.

A stunned CNN anchor Jake Tapper went on an emotional rant after the Republican controlled Senate voted Friday afternoon on a near party line vote, 51-49, to not call any new witnesses in the impeachment trial of President Trump. The vote telegraphed Trump’s acquittal by the Senate on both charges in the coming days.

“It is striking,” @JakeTapper says, “that there is a national security adviser for President Trump, who is out there basically waving his hands saying, ‘I would like to be subpoenaed’ …. Even in that context, the Senate voted the way they did.”

That’s because he’s a known, self-confessed liar, Jake. Pretty bitter pill for a non-partisan, straight-down-the-middle Libmedia “journalist” like yourself to swallow, I know. But you just go on and gag it down anyway, fuckface.



Meanwhile, Ted Cruz has himself a little fun on the Senate floor:



That, along with Trump himself trolling Stretch Peelousy by handing out commemorative pens his own self in the course of actually accomplishing something worthwhile, is good stuff sure enough. But I saved the most unintentionally hilarious for last:

Hillary Tweets ‘No One Is Above the Law’ Then Refuses To Accept Lawsuit Against Her

In an hilarious hypocritical display, Hillary Clinton tweeted out “In America, no one is above the law,” on the same day that she used her secret service detail to turn away legal documents attempting to be served to her as part of a lawsuit.

So no one is above the law, except if it’s Hillary Clinton, who has now TWICE refused to accept service from Rep. Tulsi Gabbard’s lawyers, as part of a $50 million defamation suit relating to Clinton’s accusations that Gabbard is a “Russian asset”.

Gabbard’s attorney, Brian Dunne told The New York Post, “I find it rather unbelievable that Hillary Clinton is so intimidated by Tulsi Gabbard that she won’t accept service of process. But I guess here we are.”

I had to look twice to make certain this wasn’t a Bee item. But when it comes to Her Swackedness, NOTHING is unbelievable.

Around the bend update! So unhinged has their Shampeachment defeat left them, they’ve now lapsed into complete and total honesty:



Oh, we all knew that quite well already, I think. Have for a very long time now. But thanks just the same for putting it so plainly, LOSER.

HOW DARE YOU!!!

Yeah, great, we’ll get right on this. After we do some other things first.

The Guardian has published an open letter from teen climate alarmist Greta Thunberg and 20 other children in advance of the World Economic Forum in Davos listing their demands of the world’s leading countries.

She also notes that “many of us who signed this are children,” so “do not make up your own quotes or twist our words.” We’ve read the whole piece and can guarantee it wasn’t written by a 16-year-old, and we were a little disappointed that it wasn’t a list of demands, but rather just one:

We demand that at this year’s forum, participants from all companies, banks, institutions and governments immediately halt all investments in fossil fuel exploration and extraction, immediately end all fossil fuel subsidies and immediately and completely divest from fossil fuels.

We don’t want these things done by 2050, 2030 or even 2021, we want this done now – as in right now.

Kids often want things right now.

To twist a favorite retort of my dear old maternal grandma’s: “Demand” in one hand. Shit in the other. See which one gets full the quickest.

Greta is fastly evolving from a clueless, obnoxious, but still only moderately annoying little brat into a slightly more annoying little brat. Next time she decides to throw another tantrum like this, she needs to be sent straight up to bed without any dinner, made to stand in the corner for a couple hours, or bent over a knee and spanked. She “demands” a world without: transportation more efficient than horses or walking; anything made with plastic, which would necessarily include iPhones, computers, essential medical devices, many types of clothing, and way too much more to list; indoor lighting and heat; and oh, so very much more.

In other words, she demands that we revert to a way of living so primitive, so uncivilized, and so just plain miserable it’s too overwhelming to even contemplate for long. Average lifespan would go back to about 35 or so; starvation would again be the rule rather than exceptional; diseases once very nearly eradicated will once again be rampant. Tainted or spoiled food will become common thanks to the loss of modern vacuum-sealed packaging, which seals out bacteria and delays spoilage and rot. Speaking of food, everyone will pretty much be limited to whatever we can grow or hunt ourselves, without the variety, quality, and convenience of fully-stocked grocery stores and restaurants.

Yeah, no, Greta. You and all your moronic Green confreres are free to give up all that health, happiness, and ease to live the Cro-Magnon dream yourselves if you like; have at it, and best of luck to you. The rest of us like modernity just fine and will carry on as we were, thanksverymuch. We don’t intend to sit still while you regress the world into the savage, deadly conditions we spent thousands of years evolving our way out of.

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