Cold Fury

Harshing your mellow since 9/01

It ain’t over yet, scumbags

(David Letterman’s foot-in-mouth disease has irritated me much more than it has Mike, or so it appears. Enough to rouse me from my semi-retirement at blogging, anyway.)

The usual gang of sick asswipes at CBS, and Letterman’s writers whole crew of pedophiles and child-rape supporters are still yucking it up at their clever, witty disgusting and cowardly attack on a 14 year old child.

Now, Embassy Suites had the good sense (and good taste) to immediately pull their advertising from CBS. Kudos to those folks, and I’ll be looking for an Embassy Suites to stay in next time I’m on the road. These other advertisers, however, are joining in CBS / Letterman’s  creepy perversion and proudly standing by their sleazy champion. So far, my inquiry regarding their position and response to this outrage have been unanswered by the following advertisers, so I can only assume they want their names associated with perversions like child rape and  pedophilia. So I’m happy to help:

Mars (candy makers), whose primary sales target is children, supports child-rape and pedophilia. Think about that before you buy any of their candy for your children.

Kelloggs (cereals/foods), whose primary sales target is children, supports child-rape and pedophilia. Think about that before you buy any of their cereals for your children.

Johnson & Johnson (health products) supports child-rape and pedophilia.

Olive Garden (restaurants) supports child-rape and pedophilia.

Hope this helps associate these perverts with their ideological brethren. It would be immensely satisfying to see some of you other blogs making these obvious connections, so that search engines display these facts about these scummy companies right up front. Remember, you’ll be doing them a real favor by reinforcing the company associations they want; perverts, pedophiles, and wanna-be child rapists like the creepy Letterman and CBS crew they support. Feel free to let them know how you feel about this at the contact links above by clicking on their names; I’m pretty sure you can’t catch any infectious diseases just by clicking on the names, but sleazy as these bastards are, you might wanna put on sterile gloves first. My thanks to those who make the effort.

But to pedophilia-supporters Mars, Kelloggs, Olive Garden, and Johnson & Johnson, I only offer a sincere and heartfelt FUCK YOU! You had the chance to do the right thing, but chose to side with the perverts, so no matter what you do now it’s too little and too late. You ‘ll never see another dime of my money, scumbags, and I sincerely hope this fiasco helps you worthless turds join GM and Chrysler in bankruptcy. May you all rot in hell together.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Share

Hey Pernod, part 2

Well, I tried to warn you. Tone deaf is one thing, but deliberate contempt for your customers is the surest way to lose them. To wit, the latest insult-cum-apology from the Absolutists.

During the weekend we have received several comments on the ad published in Mexico.

Don’t you mean several thousand comments, dumbass?

This is a genuine and sincere apology.

The fuck it is. A genuine and sincere apology would be made by someone else, after your sorry ass was fired for the incompetent and insulting first non-apology you made, Paula. But soon enough you clowns’ll figure out this one was Absolutely* way too little and way, way too late as well.

*You can forget the cute little Scandi-style dropped “e”, too, assholes. This is the United States of America; you can start “learning about your local markets” by learning English fer crissakes. Prob’ly too much to ask from “executives” so fucking stupid that they think they can pretend half their sales volume is just another “local market”. Fortunately, we can and will drop that 47% of your volume to the much more critical level of 3% you currently enjoy from your local Mexico market. No, you don’t have to thank us. It’s our pleasure, really.

Oh, and Pernod? If you think this pathetically obvious attempt at a little ass-covering is going to save your newest brand, well …

 

 Update!  Emperor Misha decrees:

Unfortunately, since you decided to insult our intelligence as well as our nation with your first parody of an “apology”, the train already left the station.

So you are herewith cordially invited to dip your bottled horse piss in acid and shove it up your nethers, then sit on it and rotate for a while, cogitating on the subject of “how to NOT keep digging when you’re already at the bottom of a very deep hole indeed.”

Seriously, Pernod; dump this loser. Before the virus spreads to your other brands. Didn’t you learn anything from the last one?

Update to the update! Uh oh. Absolut boycott is gettin’ mighty popular, real sudden-like. Somebody tolt them damn hicks what was goin’ on in them thar intarwebs!

Update to the updated update!  How’s about you print out this map and drop it with a BOYCOTT ABSOLUT! heading at your favorite watering holes … can’t hurt.

Updates, forsooth! DougM at SondraK’s explains.

 

Share

Flying pigs slap my face, weasels rip my flesh

Let’s see now:

1) Al’s agreeing (and rightfully so) with DailyKos. Thank you, DarkSyde, that’s exactly what supporting the troops means.  

2) Conservatives and Party über alles Republicans are at each other’s throats. Again. No link necessary.

3) The Demopublicans Party Machine is naturally coalescing around it’s two most damaged and easily defeated candidates. So, the easy prediction:

    Clinton Crime Machine 49%
    McCain Hero Express 48%
    Thompson Not Voting 3%

    Senate: 55 Dem – 45 Rep, minimum. 60/40 likely.
    House: Wholesale slaughter.

4) The Dems are motivated. The Reps are not. Goodbye, Republicans. Hello, Apocalypse.

Yep, The End Times Are Here! Buy guns, gold, and mountain land, which I just happen to have available for purchase. Or consider investing in some carbon credits to reduce global warming, which I also just happen to have available. Whichever one helps you sleep at night. Because I’m here for you, man!

What, me? How do I sleep? Ha.

My nation is bleeding. How do we conservatives staunch this suppurating wound of creeping socialism with nothing but an ignorant electorate?

Update! Scott Ott applies the soothing balm of … Team America?
h/t InstaGlenn

Updated update! Dan Riehl recognizes the situation:

After the coming debacle, the GOP will need substance, strength and leadership. If conservatives are smart, we’d be wise to avoid the bickering this year and be prepared to provide it going into 2010.

The substance, strength and leadership, he means. Not the bickering.

Share

Budget busting … Republicans

While you’re munching that tasty shit sandwich, GOPers, here’s something else to chew over:

US Budget:                                   2001 (Clinton)     2009 (Bush)

Total Outlays                                   $1.863T               $3.107T

Entitlements as % budget                   64%                      65%
(“Human Resources”)

Budget as % of GDP                           18.5%                   20.7%

Isn’t it comforting that the federal government is now stealing over 20% from us at the point of a gun just so it can give 2/3 of that money to someone else? Wow. Limited government! Controlled spending! Vote Republican!

My aching, overtaxed ass. Explain to me again how much better the Reps are than the Dems, willya? But no thanks, I don’t need any bread – I’ve got plenty of shit on my plate already, and all that condescension left over, too.

Share

Brattleboro digs in

This just keeps getting better, folks. This link to the Tehran Times is being proudly promoted on what is apparently some commercial/tourist site for the town. Unsuprisingly, the TT story is much better written and with a great deal more detail than the local NBC affiliate blurb I linked. It’s clear that BDS is pandemic in quaint little Brattleboro, and Kurt Daims (the organizer of the petition drive) is a virulent carrier. Yes, the bogus Lancet study and Hitler comparisons feature prominently in his ravings.

Bill Whittle asked for the town’s number, it’s (802) 254-4541. Here are the phone numbers and e-mail of the Selectmen who voted 3/2 to dignify this farce by placing it on a ballot. Don’t make me go all Bluto on you.

Update! Thanks again, Glenn!

Updated Update! Otter weighs in with appropriate sentiments.

Share

Progressives trying to out-stupid each other succeed

Well, apparently it’s not limited to VT*NH, but rather it’s a contagion:

Today, Plymoutheans stand on either side of another military issue, and a nonbinding public opinion advisory question will appear on the May 10 town election ballot as a sign of the times.

The question calls for a withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. Polls indicate a majority of Americans hold this opinion.

Huh. I’m embarrassed to admit that I had no idea that Plymouth was in charge of the US military and directed it’s deployments. What’s that? It’s a non-binding “advisory opinion” that no one asked you for? It’s meaningless and has no effect or authority? You don’t say. But why would a whole town waste so much effort on such pointless silliness? Oh, Massachusetts. Now I understand. Interesting that

At its Tuesday night meeting, selectmen unanimously agreed to allow the question to appear on the ballot. Selectmen said they are not taking a political stance on the issue, however.

While Plymouth’s selectmen may not understand the meaning of a political issue, they have clearly taken a pretty wide stance on this one. Listen, maybe you progressive losers need to make absolutely sure everyone knows you don’t like the war, or the troops, or America, but really, you should just take out an ad in the Old Gray Slut and get over yourselves already. Don’t worry, now that we’ve pretty much won the war, no one’s going to accuse you traitorous rat bastards of supporting it. Or the troops. Or America.

We know better.

h/t CF reader Paul Schmidt.

Update! *corrected state. My apologies to our friends in NH, and thanks for bringing that to my attention, Jocelyn.

Share

Waah! My publicity stunt backfired!

Now they’re being mean to me!

Some lame little Vermont town shitstain on the map decides to make a bold statement, to send us stupid sheeple a message, and so they put a petition on their ballot calling for the arrest of Pres. Bush and VP Cheney. Now they’re getting a lot of “nastiness” (liberalspeak for negative feedback) on the town hall telephone from patriots all over the country.

Heh. Just what did you dumbasses expect – to be praised for your astounding jackassery? Watch the little donkeys squirm in the spotlight, and listen to them squeal:

Town Clerk Annette Cappy said the “nastiness” of the calls prompted the town office to stop answering its phones Monday.

Brattleboro police said they will prosecute anyone whose messages cross the line and harass town officials.

Are you people really that damn pathetic? Really? You make total jackasses of yourselves, then whine and whimper and try to threaten the people who call you on it? Does my mockery “harass” you clowns enough to “cross the line” so you can prosecute me, too, officer you blustering sphincter with a badge? You gonna come down here and arrest me now, or wait until after you get the President?

Town officials say the petition that led to ballot measure complied with the law. Petition organizers say the measure was symbolic.

And your callers say the measure was idiotic. Typically silly left-wing fantasy. Childish and pathetic. Stupidly pointless. Y’know, progressive.

The problem with you Nazi assnuggets is that you forget some of us still live in states where freedom of speech is real, not “symbolic”. You can say whatever you like, sure; but we can say whatever we like, too, and there’s not one damn thing you can do about it, skippy – threats of “prosecution” notwithstanding. But if you want to come on down to NC, I’ll be happy to “harass” you pathetic losers in person, and show you where you can cram your petty little “symbolic” petition, and your “prosecution”, both.

Update! Many thanks to Glenn for link, and welcome Instapunditeers!

Share

Thank You, Fred

This pro-gun limited government federalist thanks you for your contribution to this campaign, sir, and to our nation. You have my prayers for your sick mother, and your family. I wish you good fortune in your future endeavors.

I hope you will consider running again in 2012. We’ll really need you by then. But I wasn’t kidding, in denial, or having a temper tantrum when I said I’m still voting for you. 😀

Share

Needle in haystack sighted

The first intelligent and dispassionate look at the primaries in the lamestream press I’ve seen so far, by Jed Babbin at Human Events:

Just whose primary elections have we been following so closely?  If you think they were Republican affairs, think again. Iowa, New Hampshire, Michigan and South Carolina all allow crossover voters — independents and Democrats — to vote in the Republican primaries.  In Florida, only registered Republicans can vote in the Republican primary.  Though Florida isn’t a typical Red state, it will be the first real barometer of Republican voters’ thinking.

Iowa is a caucus, not a primary, and like New Hampshire is a small state of extremely limited significance. Of the two other primaries so far, Michigan is predominantly Democrat, and so we are left only SC as a consistently Republican, and therefore possibly bellweather state. There’s just one problem: SC’s votes are tainted by allowing independents and Dems to vote in the Rep primary. How tainted, you ask? Mr. Babbin provides the all-important context :

According to a Fox News exit poll, 32% of the Michigan Republican primary voters identified themselves as independents or Democrats.  Another Fox exit poll showed 20% of the South Carolina Republican primary voters said they were either Democrats or independents.  In Michigan, Gov. Romney won with 39%, Sen. McCain was second at 30% and Gov. Huckabee third at 16%.  In South Carolina, John McCain won with 33% of the vote, Mike Huckabee had 30% and Fred Thompson had 16%.  Given those margins, it’s pretty clear that the Dems and independents controlled the result in both states.

A 20% spoiler vote in SC? A quick and dirty comparison removing 10% from McCain and Huckabee each would give McCain 23%, Huckabee 20%, and Thompson 16% – a much tighter race than the one the media is attempting to create. This combination of deck-stacking by outsiders and media control of the narrative is giving Reps candidates they don’t really want, based on the illusion of electablity being created by their opponents.

Mr. Babbin clearly understands the dynamics at play here:

The Republican Party has allowed its opponents to capture the primary process.  If Republicans are going to choose a nominee they can rally around, they have to compel the candidates to take stands on the issues that matter to them most.  Unless a candidate does that, he can’t possibly win in November.

Republicans lost the 2006 election by compiling a record that pleased only Democrats and avoiding taking hard positions on what matters most to their base.  Republicans will lose the 2008 election if they don’t choose a candidate who is a solid conservative and campaigns on conservative issues and principles.

and prescribes corrective measures:

It’s probably too late to reclaim the television debates from the liberal media. But it’s not too late to reject the Republican contenders that would most please the Democrats.  But if we, as conservatives, speak out as actively and forcefully in the primaries as we did last summer on the illegal immigration issue, Republicans could still choose a winner.

Are you listening, Republicans?

Share

Former Republicans still voting for Fred

Even though most of the “conservativetalking heads are trying to convince us how sexy these lipsticked pigs McCain (RINO, Screwedus), Romney (RINO, Lastpoll) and Huckabee (RINO, Heaven) look, I’m still voting for Fred. If he drops out of the race, I’ll write him in for my vote. Yes, I know Fred has no chance of winning as a write-in candidate. Yes, I know if any significant numbers of conservative voters do likewise, the Republican nominee has no chance of winning – and that’s my whole point. My hope is that a sufficient number of write-in votes for Fred will force the Stupid Party to recognize that independent conservatives will no longer vote for liberal Republicans just to save us from liberal Democrats. That ship has sailed. Voters interested in a liberal will vote for a Democrat, not a squishy RINO. We conservatives must therefore vote with our feet.

Perhaps had you Republicans thought about giving your natural base a candidate they could vote for a little sooner, your party wouldn’t be imploding. But go ahead: you geniuses keep right on pandering to the mushy middle, the unprincipled, the undecided. Keep right on ignoring the folks who brought your party back from near extinction in the post-Nixon years. Make sure your candidates don’t try to run a campaign outside the parameters set by your sworn enemies, the media. Use Fred as your object lesson of what happens to candidates who don’t bow at the progressives’ media altar, and play by the other side’s rules. Show your ever-dwindling supporters how good little bitches let the other guy set the agenda and frame the issues. And whatever you do, don’t vary the lockstep march down the Iwannabea Dem trail lest the lemmings see the cliff you’re leading them over before you reach it.

You’ve learned nothing at all from Reagan or the Contract with America. You’ve been cheek-and-jowl with the Democrats at the taxpayer’s feeding trough for so long now that not only do you look and sound just like them, you want to be them. To paraphrase a great American, I didn’t leave the Republican party, the Republican party left me.

And so you bloody fools are going to suffer a historic defeat: worse than Bob Dole’s embarassment, maybe even worse than Mondale’s disgrace. Congratulations, you’ve certainly earned it. Unfortunately, it’s the nation that will pay.

Update! Mourning in America begins.

Updated update! Discerning Texan urges Fred to stay in the race.

Update to the updated update! Bill Quick walks, too.

Share

Sid Vicious gets his

This really brightened up my day:

Sidney Blumenthal plays hardball. A longtime confidante and adviser to the Clintons, he has zealously defended them through any number of scandal investigations. Along the way, Blumenthal has shown an affinity for the sharp counterattack. When a group of Arkansas state troopers in the early 1990s began leveling charges that Bill Clinton had strayed in his marriage, Blumenthal shot back–penning an article in The New Yorker accusing the troopers of a litany of their own transgressions, including attempted fraud, marital infidelity and drunken driving.

Now, Blumenthal himself faces charges of driving drunk. Blumenthal, an unpaid senior adviser to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, was arrested in Nashua on the eve of the New Hampshire primary and charged with aggravated DWI, according two members of the Nashua police force.

Oh, yeah. Chickens return, roosting commences and whatnot. But wait, it gets even better:

Because the car was moving at excessive speeds, Blumenthal was given the more serious charge of “aggravated” DWI–which carries a mandatory sentence of at least three days behind bars.

Heh. And declining a breathalyzer – that’s an automatic 1 year loss of license in most states. The only way this could get any better would be if that prick Blumenthal was drunk because the Viagra no longer works, so his boyfriend left him, and then his cat died.

Again.

Because an architect and one of the primary practitioners of the “politics of personal destruction” deserves far, far worse. And, yes; schadenfreude, well chilled, really is quite delicious, thanks.

Share

Dear New Orleans,

It’s not us. It’s you. No, really:

We’ve already poured billions over this raw festering sore of a city. The infection is still there and it gets more virulent by the day. And now we find that the denizens of this sewer want us to actually pay billions and trillions more to keep this chancrous old collection of corruption afloat? I don’t think so. But con-artists don’t stop conning until you stop them.

Blow the levees and let the whole pustulent mess sink into the ocean. Enough already.

Share

Two worthy causes

If you’ve got enough any money left after your holiday shopping, please consider sending some to:

Fred ’08 – in spite of the naysaying, doom-fearing pantywaists, he’s gaining momentum but needs funds. Give yourself a conservative President for Christmas!

Jeff Goldstein – No I don’t know what he’s going to do with it, but it’s Goldstein, people! So pony up.

Update!  Check out Fred’s Christmas message even if you don’t donate. I promise it’s worth it.

Share

Gluttons for punishment

The Allah Press (aka AP) hasn’t learned yet that it’s silly and juvenile “What’s your favorite _____” meme of questioning Presidential candidates is backfiring on them. Instead of making the candidates look bad (their actual intention), they’ve managed to give us all an excellent if unintentional belly laugh. A little background with some of the questions Teh Fred! has turned right back in their sniveling faces:

What’s your favorite joke? Presidential debates.

What’s your favorite keepsake? Trophy wife.

What’s your favorite nickname? Mr. President.

What do you like to do on a ‘lazy day’? Campaigning.

I think we all see the trend here – well, at least us sentient beings. The AP, however, just can’t make itself look foolish enough, so we get their latest ham-handed idiocy:

What’s your favorite 20th century president from the opposing party? Martin Sheen  (The fellow actor played two Democratic presidents on TV, the fictional Josiah Bartlet in “The West Wing” and John Kennedy in a miniseries.)

Heh. And the next thing these ‘tards want Fred to slap them with? Gadgets. Which as we all know, is the critical issue facing voters in the coming elections.

Egads. Maybe you hard-bitten reporters children should stick to the things you know – like how many times Britney flashes her panties, or Brangelina’s latest third-world adoption – and leave the political analysis to the grown-ups.

 Update! Looks like Fred thinks they’ve had enough, because he played this one straight. His favorite gadget is an iPod.

Share

Hey bozo – hands off my Santa

They so love making fools of themselves. Listen, morons: Santa Claus is a jolly fat man, who smokes a pipe, and wears a red suit trimmed in white fur. He laughs “Ho Ho Ho” a lot to show he’s jolly, and he says “Merry Christmas” because he’s a Christian saint. He’s fat because good little girls and boys leave him lots of cookies to keep up his energy, and since Santa doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, he tries to eat them all. Now, if all this harmless merriment offends you somehow, then you’re an idiot, and probably take offense that grass is green. And even though it’s the most insignificant office in the federal government, with nothing much else to do, since when does the Surgeon General dictate how much a Christian saint should weigh? How is this not state encroachment on religion? 

But since acting Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson and his progressive buddies in the rent-a-fake-Santa business believe Santa Claus should be thin, contrary to all religious and cultural representations for hundreds of years, then of course they must be right. How silly of us to think that we get to define our imaginary childhood friend when we have an actual … well, at least an acting Surgeon General to define him for us. May I say with all the respect and sincerity due the office you’re acting in, Mr. Surgeon General: go piss up a rope, you over-reaching, petty little bureaucrat. Take your inflated-ego, fake-Santa-pimp friends with you. Do you really think you clowns get to redefine the legend of Santa Claus for the rest of us by your silly little proclaimations?

What total asses these progressives are, how narcissistic they must be, to think that anyone but them gives a fart in a hurricane about who or what they dictate Santa Claus should be. You idiots really should try to get over yourselves long enough to understand that there are some things you just can’t change. And Santa Claus is one of those things.

Bet that really pisses you control freaks off, doesn’t it?

Good.

Share

What’s the big deal?

I must confess, I don’t understand all the shock and anger expressed by conservative blogs over the CNN show that purported to be a Republican debate. I didn’t see it, because I never watch CNN. But apparently most, if not all, the questions in this “debate” were staged by Democratic operatives – just as in the previous Democratic debates. As many have said, at least they’re consistent.

It seems to me that being angry at a propaganda outfit for putting out propaganda is kind of silly. Anyone who thinks CNN has ever had anything to do with actual “news”, or is in any way a reliable, non-partisan, or objective source of information is either very deeply into denial or simply isn’t paying attention.

It is long past time that Republicans and other real Americans stopped pretending that CNN is some kind of news network, and began ignoring this polluted, tainted bloat of left-wing idiocy. It isn’t hard to point out all the bullshit and outright lies that these phonies constantly push, and it defies logic to continue pretending that these twits have anything to contribute to our national debate.

Are you mad that CNN stacked the deck against Republicans? Why? Haven’t you been paying attention for the last 20 years? This isn’t new; it’s just that now we have blogs to get around the MSM filter and point out the bias and the fraud. Do you want to stop this nonsense? Then stop watching CNN. Stop quoting their site or their “stories”, and disallow liberals from presenting these obvious frauds as a legitimate news source any more than you’d accept the DNC as one. Make sure you mock the intelligence of anyone who tries to argue that these clowns are a real news outfit. Comparisons to Al-Jazeera would be appropriate. Let Republicans know they should stop appearing on this anti-American network, and that you won’t support them if they do. Give these wanna-be “Deciders” (thanks, Ace) the echo chamber they’re so desperate to continue. Who needs ’em?

Boycott CNN. Drive the Whore of All Media out of business as a warning to the rest of the alphabet frauds. Or else stop whining about their dirty tricks while you enable them to continue – either way, this latest example of business-as-usual gets a great big yawn from me.

Share

I am a free man

because I own firearms, and I can defend myself. A disarmed man is a subject of the state, not a citizen. I refuse to be a subject, and because I am a free man, I am therefore an armed citizen. Here in the Carolina mountains, I am surrounded by other free men. This is our birthright, and something sixteen generations of my family have defended. We don’t much care what you overpaid, supposedly “public servants” in D.C. think of that.

But if the Supreme Court wants to pretend that “shall not be infringed” doesn’t mean exactly what it says, us Carolina boys will be glad to re-enact the burning of D.C. for ya. I’m pretty sure the decendants of the Green Mountain boys will want to help, too, and we might even find some of Sam’s kin with an itch to set you straight. There’s plenty of us decended from the founders still around, you know. And we have a message for you:

From our cold, dead hands, motherfuckers.

Molōn labe!

Share

Categories

Archives

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." – Claire Wolfe, 101 Things to Do 'Til the Revolution

Subscribe to CF!
Support options

SHAMELESS BEGGING

If you enjoy the site, please consider donating:



Click HERE for great deals on ammo! Using this link helps support CF by getting me credits for ammo too.

Image swiped from The Last Refuge

2016 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards

RSS FEED

RSS - entries - Entries
RSS - entries - Comments

E-MAIL


mike at this URL dot com

All e-mails assumed to be legitimate fodder for publication, scorn, ridicule, or other public mockery unless otherwise specified

Boycott the New York Times -- Read the Real News at Larwyn's Linx

All original content © Mike Hendrix